Darth Maul was using his electrobinoculars to study the house before him. He had them trained on the bedroom window of a girl with shoulder-length, curly brown hair. From what Maul could see, she was typing, mumbling, and occasionally gesturing animatedly at a computer screen. Maul suspected that she had some sort of mental problem. He also suspected that she was one of the people talking about him.

He put the electrobinoculars down and then ran to the wall, leaping onto it and clinging to it, slowly climbing towards the girl's window. Wonderful, he thought to himself. I would appear to the common observer to be some sort of voyeuristic sex criminal. I hate this planet. Maul cloaked himself in the Force, to make the girl unaware of his presence, and then slipped in through her open window.

The girl was still busily typing at her computer. She was indeed on the site that Maul had been sent to, under the name of mrsmaul. Maul looked at her and made a face. Right. Keep dreaming, human.

Maul studied his surroundings. He was startled to find himself staring at himself - a large poster hung on her wall. Surrounding it were many other printed, still photos of him. He walked over and looked at them individually. He found it disturbing that this girl had somehow managed to find pictures of him. How could she have? No one in his galaxy had ever recorded his face - not even on security cameras. He glanced over his shoulder at her. She was still typing crazily, oblivious to the fact that the man whose virtues and sexy voice she was extolling was sitting right behind her. He shook his head and glanced at the floor - and almost blew his cover with a startled gasp.

There was a book on the floor - a paper book, no less - that had a cover picture of him without a shirt on. He stooped and lifted it, still gaping at the picture. She has a picture of me SHIRTLESS! He glared over his shoulder at her. Pervert.

Maul opened the book and began to flip through it. Almost the whole thing was pictures of him - not necessarily shirtless, but there were at least two sections where he was. The book depicted his destruction of the Black Sun company, which, contrary to what the book seemed to be saying, he had done with his shirt on. Although, Maul had to admit as he stared at one of the pictures, he did look pretty good shirtless. Maybe he would start losing his shirt more often.

He set the book down and then began to look further in the girl's room. Also plastered on her wall were pictures of other people, each of them almost appearing to have their own shrines. There was a somewhat stooped, ugly, pale and black-haired man in black robes, usually pictured with a blonde woman in white; his name was apparently Gríma. Not only were there pictures of him, but there were also action figures and few stacks of paper upon which were written stories involving the character.

Maul moved on to the next "shrine," which appeared to be fairly new. This was dedicated to a cartoon-ish character who appeared to be a superhero - he wore a cape and a spandex suit with a giant "S" on it. He had orange-red hair that stood straight up. His name appeared to be Syndrome. Maul glanced at the character and shook his head. He had no idea why she appeared to like these people so much - and he still wanted to know how she had pictures of him.

He turned and walked over to the computer where she sat, and watched the warring conversation continue.

mrsmaul: Well don't you think it's possible that someone could bring out a gentler side in him?

No, Maul thought.

imatrekkie: I kind of doubt it, hon.

Maul smirked.

maulslover: well, look, we think it could happen. all he needs is the rite kind of person to luv and care for him.

Maul literally almost vomited upon reading this comment.

mrsmaul: I can see where both sides are coming from, really, but I like to argue that there's some good in everyone, even all the villains I'm obsessed with. But I'd still like him even if that wasn't true. Besides, he has a sexy voice. drools

Maul blinked, staring blankly at the screen. "Sexy… voice?" he muttered, utterly confused. He almost smacked himself when he realized he'd said that out loud.

The girl - Mrs. Maul, he very, very reluctantly began to call her - whipped around and said, "Who's there?"

Maul barely had time to duck behind her chair and then slip behind her bed, safely hiding himself from view. Mrs. Maul still looked incredibly suspicious, and she got up and began to look around the room. "Hello?" she called, still looking confused beyond belief and seeking whoever had spoken.

Maul silently cursed himself and the stupid site that this girl was on. I swear, I'm going to kill her, I swear I will…

The girl walked to her window and leaned out of it. Maul suddenly felt a rush of panic. His ship was cloaked, but his speeder bike was sitting in the middle of her yard!

Maul cursed himself again, in several different languages and with extremely strong expletives. Perhaps the darkness will shield it from view...

The girl gasped. She had seen his speeder bike.

Damn.

Mrs. Maul turned and ran across her room, throwing open the door and charging down the stairs at top speed. Maul almost felt relieved to see her go. Except, of course, for the fact that she was running outside to look at his speeder bike.

Maul grimaced and bashed his head against Mrs. Maul's bed. Damn, damn, damn, damn! he swore at himself. Damn me, damn my stupid "hotness," damn these girls, damn this site, damn my soft side. DAMN MY STUPID SEXY VOICE!

Maul felt like Force-throwing Mrs. Maul across the room. Unfortunately, she was not available for this purpose, and although doing that would certainly have made him feel better, it would probably have drawn undue attention to her room, in which case he would be caught.

Maul bashed his head one more time and then settled down to wait.