O Brother Where Art Thou?

by Nike Femme

Yoh decides he wants to try and understand Hao a little better, so he has a chat with him one night. Sparked off by a random listen to U2's With Or Without You one night, with a couple of lyric changes.

See the stone set in your eyes

See the thorn twist in your side

And I wait for you….

The happy babble of voices floated on the wind to the ears of the silken-haired young man looking down at the village from his vantage point on a neighboring cliff. Despite the fading light, Asakura Hao could clearly pick out individuals from the group without having to use his powers: a lanky blonde – clearly that necromancer with the weird skeleton fetish; an active, stocky figure jumping about like a flea and the source of much of the noise – that Ainu shaman with the unfortunate name, which would make the dark glower stalking along next to him Tao Ren – scion of a family that was old when the Asakuras were not yet even a footnote in history. No doubt that huddled mass they were walking away from was that joker of a shaman – what was his name? Cookie-dough? Coco-pops? Something related to food, anyway. When you were carrying around a millennia's worth of memories, you were surely entitled to some slack on the irrelevant details. Behind the trio ambled a pompadour that was out of style when Hao was young the first time around – Ryu of the Wooden Sword. Hao snickered. What a ridiculous moniker. And the old adage about needing to compensate for other shortcomings was obviusly as true of shamans as it was of mere humans. The object of his disdain had his crowning glory cocked to one side, listening to a small – very small – human, whom Hao privately thought should have been named something more appropriate, like "Shrimp," or "Ant," instead of "Manta." And strolling on Minnow – er, Manta's other side….

Hao's eyes softened in a manner that would have stunned the X-Laws, had any of them been around to see it. The look of condescending amusement faded, to be replaced by a wistful moue as his gaze lingered on the boyish face so like his own, save for the habitually tousled mop kept tamed only by a pair of retro orange headphones. The same depthless dark eyes that seemed to see more than they revealed. The same relaxed curve of face. The same quick-to-smile lips that always seemed on the verge of laughter, and even as Hao watched, parted in a golden peal of laughter that wafted its way on the slight breeze to the shaman's ears.

"Hao-sama's otooto has a very nice laugh," piped a little voice at his elbow. Hao looked down, the smile on his face a mirror image of the one he had been observing. Opacho stared up at him solemnly with saucer-shaped eyes.

"Yes, he does."

"Hao-sama misses his otooto." It was a statement, not a question. Hao turned away from the bright, knowing gaze and looked back into the shadows of Patch Village. The sun had finally slipped below the horizon, but a few errant rays cast red streaks over the sky. If he narrowed his eyes just so, he could just about make out the familiar silhouette of his brother. His twin. The one person he had ever loved unreservedly and unconditionally.

"Yoh…."

The group below paused for a moment. A conversation between a few of the now indistinguishable dark shapes, then one of them peeled away and started walking unhurriedly towards the cliff where Hao stood, the rest moving on in the opposite direction, glad of their beds, no doubt. Hao blinked in confusion. What is Yoh doing?

As if reading his thoughts, Yoh looked up, directly at where Hao stood, his figure glimmering faintly in the starlight. And as clearly as if Yoh had been standing next to him, Hao heard his voice in his mind. I'm coming to talk, Hao. It's about time we did.

Soka. "Opacho, take Spirit of Fire back to camp with you and let the others know that Asakura Yoh is coming and that they are not to show themselves."

"Hao-sama intends to take his otooto by force?"

"No…at least…not yet. We're just going to have a little brotherly talk. Make that clear to the others. Oh, and tell them that if they so much as think about breathing on Yoh, I'll make death the pleasanter option for them, hmm?" Hao quirked a fine brow at Opacho, who seemed suitably cheered by the promise of potential mayhem and scurried off gleefully into the night. Shrugging in amusement, Hao dropped to a cross-legged position on the nearest convenient rock, carefully settling his cloak about him and thought a small campfire into being. All right, otooto. I'm waiting.

Sleight of hand and twist of fate

On a bed of nails you make me wait

And I wait without you

With or without you

With or without you

Even without the welcoming glow ahead, Yoh would have known that Hao was waiting for him. He couldn't explain how, or why, or even pinpoint when he had realized he was able to feel the older shaman's presence. It was a force deep within him that tugged gently and persistently at his heartstrings, and if he closed his eyes and relaxed, his feet would, of their own volition, take him towards the source of that feeling. Admittedly, it was a little odd to feel warm, fuzzy feelings for someone he was sworn to oppose, but Yoh figured that things would work themselves out as they always did. And in the meantime, he had to admit that he was very curious about his new-found brother. His twin, older by but a few minutes, and somehow simultaneously both his ancestor and other half – it was like something out of one of Anna's beloved soaps. So when he had felt Hao watching him, he'd decided to take the opportunity to get to know him a little better – and maybe change his mind on the whole world domination thing, it definitely wasn't something Yoh was entirely comfortable with.

"You took your own sweet time about it." Hao's face was in shadow, his dark hair glinting red in the flickering firelight.

"Saa. Anyway, I made it, right?" Yoh stepped hesitantly into the circle of light. Now that he was here, he wasn't sure what to say.

An amused chuckle, and Hao raised his head. "Yeah. Why hurry if you don't have to? All the time in the world, right?"

"Yeah."

The two boys stared at each other for a long moment, each sizing up the other. Hao could see uncertainty in Yoh's eyes, but also resolve, and a hint of…something else? He filed that away for future consideration. "Go on, sit down. I promise not to roast you. It would be too easy at this point, and that would be boring."

Yoh chose not to rise to the bait, and sat down stiffly across from him, leaning heavily against the rock seat he had chosen as he favored one side. Hao frowned. "What's wrong with you?"

"I'm all right. Got caught off-guard in the last Shaman Fight," Yoh mumbled. "Only a glancing blow though. And I won anyway. It'll heal in a couple of days."

Before Yoh could say anything else, Hao had sprung up and was kneeling by Yoh's side, gentle fingers probing. Yoh stiffened momentarily, ready to shove Hao away, but the soothing warmth spreading over his side made him relax almost immediately, his eyes fluttering shut. "Feels good."

"It should. It's a mild transfer of Furyoku, just a little to help you heal faster. You'll be all right by morning, otooto." Hao smirked. "You really need to hurry up and work on getting stronger, Yoh. How on earth did you get hurt anyway? You're better than that by now, surely. And that samurai is pretty good…for a human spirit. Where is he, anyway?" He knew he should move away, put some physical distance between them, but found that he didn't want to. His hand lingered for a moment, then dropped back to his side, but Hao allowed himself to slide down against the rock until he was sitting sideways against it, looking at his brother's profile.

Yoh sighed without opening his eyes. "I sent Amidamaru off to relax with Bason, they've become good friends and I didn't want him following me here. As for the Shaman Fight…they were smart, kept 'accidentally' targeting the referee. I let my worry for him distract me – they got me when I was trying to protect him." He was surprised to hear himself speaking so easily and casually to Hao, as though Hao were Manta, or Ren, or Horohoro, or…no. He had to admit, he wouldn't even have discussed this with any of his friends. They needed him to be strong, and sunnily optimistic, and…well…leader-ish…they didn't really want to hear that he was capable of having doubts. But somehow talking to Hao about this felt right, like talking to – well, family, he supposed. Although neiher Mikihisa nor Yohmei were the touchy-feely sort. "I would have been concerned for any of the priests, but Silva was refereeing the fight…I like Silva, he's been a good friend even if he does cite the rules and regulations a little too often."

Hao shrugged casually. "He should be, given that he's a relative of sorts. But really, Yoh, what were you thinking? This is a Shaman Fight, anything goes. The priests are expected to be able to protect themselves. Once again your concern for the weak has made you…."

"…strong," finished Yoh firmly. "Look, I won because I felt this urgent need to protect Silva, okay? I know you find it hard to understand, but I care about my friends, shamans and humans alike. I only started to take my training for the Shaman Fight seriously after I realized that there were people out there who needed me to protect them. That's why I fight. I may want to live an easy-going life, but I want everyone else to be able to as well." He opened his eyes and turned to face his brother, fully expecting to see Hao's mocking eyes sneering at him. But instead he met a glazed stare. "Hao?"

His brother's eyes cleared and focused on him. "Hmm?"

"You were spacing. What were you thinking about?"

Hao sighed. Yoh was starting to get used to these mercurial mood swings. He was quite capable of them himself. "Nothing. Life. Us. Me…at least, me one-thousand years ago. When I was younger, full of faith and willing to believe in the innate goodness of people – naïve, in other words. Oh wait, that describes you perfectly, doesn't it?"

Now it was Yoh's turn to sigh. "Is this what we're going to do all night? Snipe at each other?"

"You came to me." Hao knew he was being churlish, given his brother's olive branch, but he was feeling rather odd. Off-balance in a way he hadn't been in a long time. "What did you come here for, anyway? I told you, you're not strong enough yet and won't be of any use to me. You should be training." He turned to look at his brother, and was surprised to see Yoh regarding him with a smile. "What are you laughing at?"

"You sounded just like Anna for a moment."

Hao cocked his head in thought for a moment, then shook it dismissively. "That itako really has you whipped, you know that? I like her though, she's feisty. Shall I take her off your hands for you?"

"You could try. It's up to Anna after all – and hey, if she lets you take her, what say do I have in it? I'm only her fiancé." Yoh's famous easy-going grin was firmly affixed to his face as he met Hao's gaze and held it. To Hao's amazement, he was forced to look away, done in by the mix of amusement and understanding sparkling in the dark pool of his brother's eyes. "Besides, I'm used to having guys fall for Anna. She can handle herself." Yoh settled himself more comfortably. "So. If you're not rushing off to claim her, is it all right if we continue talking?"

Hao grunted. "Fine."

A pause. "So…what's your favorite fruit? Mine's oranges."

Hao started. Of all questions, this was not the one he had been expecting. "Is this some kind of joke?"

"Nope! I just thought that since we're brothers and we haven't spent much time together, that it would be good to get to know a little about each other, ne?"

"Hmph." There was a long silence, and just as Yoh was about to repeat the question, Hao said, very deliberately, "I like oranges too."

"Oh. Cool. I guess we're kind of alike, being twins and all." Yoh thought for a moment. "Any hobbies?" Apart from getting your hands on my body and world dominion?

"I look at the stars a lot." Hao had heard his brother's thoughts loud and clear, but chose to pointedly ignore them as he was starting to loosen up and get into the flow of this. He had to admit, he was curious about how his other self had developed over the last thirteen years. "You? And what's your favorite subject in school?"

"I do that too, from the roof of the house. It's quieter up there, Anna doesn't come up, and Amidamaru will often hang out with me and tell me about his samurai days. School…well, I don't really like school the way Manta does. It seems like a lot of useless facts I'm not really interested in. I sort of like history, a little, but I get more than enough of that from grandfather and father. They mean well, but the whole thing about memorizing and reciting from memory gets a little dry, you know?"

Hao laughed lightly. "The Asakura methods haven't really changed from my time, I see. I remember when I began training, I was always much more interested in learning by doing and experiencing things for myself than in reading up. I figured that if I was interested enough in something, I would eventually get around to researching it." His face darkened slightly. "I came up with some good training regimens…but the family stopped using them after they killed…turned against me, that first time. Pity. You could use the training. Anna's training has improved your physical stamina, but your Furyoku needs work and you've barely scratched the surface of what you can do with your powers…."

"See, that's what I don't understand," Yoh said, a little too innocently as he shifted position and sat up a little straighter. "Why do you keep trying to make me stronger if all you want to do in the end is kill me? Why not do it right now and get it over with?"

Hao's eyes flicked away. "What makes you think I won't?" But as soon as he said it, he realized how feeble it sounded. He had let his guard down too much during this conversation already, and Yoh was at the very least empathic if not telepathic, and could clearly tell his brother had no intention of letting harm come to him, at least for the moment. Or ever, a treacherous little voice in his head muttered. He looked at his brother sitting patiently waiting for him to realize his tactical error.

Through the storm we reach the shore

You give it all but I want more

And I wait for you

With or without you

With or without you

I can't live

With or without you

Hao shook his head slightly. How did Yoh do it? He was so transparent, so straightforward…and yet people always seemed to wind up falling into his traps. And falling for him. Yoh coloured slightly, and Hao smirked. Ha. So you do have reishi ability, otooto. Serves you right. But you know, you are…very…attractive.

Oh, shut-up, hentai. "You haven't answered my question."

Hao quirked an eyebrow at that. "We're going to have to work on you, I see. Shouldn't the answer be obvious if you can read my thoughts?"

Yoh looked away. "I don't like invading someone else's privacy. I just read thoughts that get out…and anyway, most people don't have control like you do. I didn't until grandmother Kino taught me how to block out other people's thoughts and protect my own. It was pretty awful before that."

Hao felt a pang of sympathy. Hadn't he gone through the same thing as a child? Despite the more spiritual nature of society a millennia ago, it had still been very difficult as a sensitive child, and even as an adult, he had struggled to stay centered when in the midst of the chaos of ordinary human thought. No wonder the few times he had spied on Yoh as a child, the younger twin had generally been sniffling somewhere deep in the forest surrounding their family home, far from the madding crowd, as it were. Is that why you prefer to watch nature, otooto? Then why can't you understand what I'm trying to do?

"What do you think the answer is?" Hao asked, genuinely curious.

Yoh shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe you just want more of a challenge to make it worth your while?" His shoulders slumped slightly and he sagged against his rock seat. Suddenly, the younger of the twins looked very, very young. And tired. And confused. His head sunk down towards his chest, his hair falling forward to cover his eyes.

Hesitating only for a moment, Hao reached out and lifted Yoh's chin gently. "Otooto, look at me," he said, softly but firmly. Eyes dragged themselves reluctantly to meet Hao's burning gaze. "I want to share a memory with you. Will you let me?"

The question hung between them, suspended for a moment in the firelight. Hao held his breath, afraid to move for fear of upsetting the delicate balance now prevailing. Yoh stared at him searchingly. Then with a decisive sigh, Yoh suddenly smiled. "Sure! Show me."

Hao's smile was one of answering relief. He lifted his other hand and placed it gently on Yoh's temple, feeling oddly exultant as he luxuriated in the warmth of his brother's trust. "Don't worry, I won't let anything happen to you. Just relax and observe…."

And you give yourself away

And you give yourself away

And you give, and you give

And you give yourself away

Dark. And warm. Breathe, can't breathe, some kind of fluid all around! Spirit of Fire, where are you? Why can't I feel you? Trapped. Trapped! No, I will not allow this to happen. I, who have mastered the five elements and can control nature, I will not be trapped by mere humans…..

Hi!

You're awake, I'm glad. You were thrashing around, and there isn't much space in here. I think our mother isn't very large.

Oh. Oh, wait. Has it been five hundred years already? Yes, that's right. Okay, calm now. At least this time it's an Asakura body, that Patch one was adequate, but there's nothing like blood to make you feel whole. But why am I twins? How did this happen?

I don't know. It just happened. Do you remember everything?

Yes, don't you?

Not really. I just woke up and you were here. Are we the same person? I'm not very familiar with this process.

You feel like part of me. So we must be. Hmm. This incarnation may prove to be more interesting than I expected. Do you know how long we've been in here?

I heard a voice talking about it just now, I think it may be our father. He said something about another four months?

Another four months! That's a lifetime! And it's so cramped in here already. This is all your fault. You shouldn't be here!

That's not very nice. I didn't choose to be here. Something just happened. Calm down, it's going to be all right. Everything will work out.

You sound like me – from my first life! How can you be so…wait. Wait. That's what's happened.

My soul must have split when it encountered two bodies. The original part of my soul, the spirit I was first born with, is with you. The rest of it is with me – all the memories I've gained since my first breath and subsequent reincarnations.

…

Are you all right?

Give me a moment here, it's a lot to take in. So what you're saying is, I'm an early version of you?

You're the prototype, I'm the new improved version. Deal with it.

At least I'm an original.

Oh please. You're a spirit that got born a thousand years ago.

So what's my name?

MY name is Hao. I have no idea what your name is going to be. Probably something like Yohken or Yohmen, those names seem to run in the family.

Why do you get the name?

Trust me, it's better this way. They're going to try to kill the one of us they think is Hao anyway.

Why? It's not that bad of a name.

It's not that, baka. You really don't have any memories, do you? Look, just take it from me, they're misguided and believe they're doing the world a favor. It sucks when family turns against you.

Oh. Did we…you…I…whatever,do something bad?

No. People just don't understand the way we think, that's all.

Maybe we should try to explain it again? I don't really want to die right away. I'd like to know what it's like outside this place first.

It's useless, they'll never listen. But don't worry, I won't let them hurt you. You're part of me, after all.

Well…okay. If you say so. I suppose it'll all work out. Hao?

Yes?

Do you think you could give me a replacement name? Since you get to be Hao, I mean?

…

Forget it, I guess I shouldn't have asked.

It's just that…it's not my place to name you. Even my name was given to me by my parents. I'm sure our current parents will give you a nice name before they kill us.

That's not funny.

Sorry. It's the close quarters, it makes me antsy. How about I call you otooto?

We don't know yet who's going to be born first, do we?

I'll go first. I can protect myself from them, you can't.

How?

It's complicated, you'll understand when you're older. But don't worry, you'll be able to do what I do soon enough. We're shamans, after all.

Okay. Then I guess you must be my ani? So I get to call you oniichan?

Hai, otooto.

I like that. It makes us seem closer.

We can't get much closer.

You're such a grouch. Come here.

WHAT are you doing?

Shh. Everything is going to be all right, you'll see. Now just move your foot a bit…no, not that foot, the other one…and drape your arm around my neck…there we go! All snug. And now that we're facing each other, we can talk more!

You just don't give up, do you?

Not on you, oniichan. Besides, you said you were going to protect me, I should stay close!

Yes. Yes, you should.

I'm sleepy now. I'm just going to doze off, all right? Wake me if you're bored and we can talk more.

Sleep, otooto. I'll keep watch.

Feathery touches. A constant, warm, reassuring presence. Snatches of conversation.

They really are going to try to kill us, oniichan! Grandpa Yohmei said so! I can't believe our father is agreeing to this!

Told you.

I still don't understand why they seem to hate us. Am I a bad person?

No, and don't ever let anyone tell you that! You are a good person. Just a little lazy. I mean, don't you want to know anything about what I…what you learned over the last thousand years?

Zzzz.

Ha ha.

Seriously though, I'd rather it just be a surprise. Besides, I have you to do all the remembering. And there'll be time to tell me all about it later, right? Assuming we don't die, that is. Oh well, things will work out eventually.

I hope so, otooto. I hope so.

Oniichan?

Yes?

I love you, you know.

…

I just wanted to make sure you knew that. In case anything happens.

…it won't. Don't worry. I'm here.

A sudden burst of turmoil. Pressure ever intensifying. Pain!

What's happening!

We're about to be born, otooto. Don't worry, you may not remember, but we've done this twice before already. Now remember, I'm going first.

I don't want you to die!

I won't. I will have to go away for a while though. But I'll come back some day for you, I promise.

You're leaving me? But oniichan…I'll miss you. I'll be so lonely.

As will I, otooto. But just think, we'll have something to look forward to. And this way you'll be safe, they won't hurt you if they think I'm all there is to Hao.

I don't care!

Otooto! Stop whining. You have to be strong.

Don't wanna.

Be strong for your oniichan. I won't be able to protect myself if I have to worry about you as well.

Oh. Fine. But…you promise? You'll come back to me?

I promise. I promise. I'll find you, otooto. Grow up strong and brave and be a great shaman. And I'll find you.

Will I remember all this?

Not initially, no. I will though. How about this - I'll remind you, okay?

Okay. Then before I forget…I love you, oniichan! I love you! I love you….

Hao staggered back slightly, his breathing ragged with the effort of reliving the memory, his hands falling away from Yoh's face, damp with his brother's tears. He shut his eyes and leaned back, grateful for the warmth still being radiated by the rock face into the desert cool. For a minute there were no sounds but the crackling of the fire as sparks rose into the night, and the harsh sounds of heavy breathing.

A familiar feathery touch against his face made his eyes snap open, only to meet his brother's glistening gaze a few inches away. Yoh let his hand drop from Hao's cheek gave him a tremoulous half-smile. "You're crying."

"So are you."

"I know." Yoh scrubbed futilely at his face, now streaked with dirt and tears. Hao made an indistinct noise in his throat, then grabbed a corner of his cloak and dabbed roughly at the stains. That act seemed to make Yoh cry harder.

"Does it hurt?" asked Hao in dismay, looking at the rough wool weave accusingly.

"No. It's just…I just…I missed you so much! Even though no one told me about you, I always felt like I was incomplete, like there was something important I was missing. Father and grandfather and grandmother always seemed to keep themselves distant from me, barely speaking to me except about my training. Only mother would spend time with me, but it wasn't enough! Anna, and Manta, and my friends all tried to fill the gap subconsciously, though really it's Amidamaru who comes closest to filling the void, even if he is still only a spirit. I thought it was me, and I learned to cope, and to put a smiling face on it, and not to let anyone know...And now I know why I've been so lonely all these years…."

"Shh, it's all right. I'm here now, otooto, and everything is as it should be." Hao reached out and hugged Yoh, who buried his head into his brother's shoulder, hiccuping. "See, I kept my promise. I came to find you. And now we're together again…." As it should be. I've missed you too, otooto. And no one will ever separate us again.

A muffled mumble. "What?"

Yoh sat up. "I said, why did you wait this long?"

Hao grimaced. "Ah. I might have been strong enough to fight off Yohmei and Mikihisa – if not fully in control – but I was still a baby, physically. I…we needed to grow up a little first, get comfortable with our powers. Although yours have been retarded more than I had thought, probably because the family doesn't really know how to deal with power on this level. After all, we're the only person to ever master the five elements. We made the Asakura's, you know, before we came along, they were just a bunch of half-decent mikos, itakos and onmyojis, nothing spectacular. I mean, can you imagine old man Yohmei performing an Oversoul? You were stronger than them before you even took your first breath."

Yoh giggled, then suddenly became serious again. "So all your interfering.…"

"Is to try and accelerate the training you should have received, yes. And you're still lazy, Yoh, you need prodding in the motivation department."

Yoh's face was troubled. "Oniichan…I don't like you hurting other people so indiscriminately. Especially now that you have control. I mean, I can believe maybe that you couldn't fully control your powers when you hurt otoosan, but all the people you've killed…that's not right." And I really don't like the thought that it might all be for me.

Hao snorted. "Don't flatter yourself, I do plenty of things that aren't about you. But I have to say, threatening the people around you produces particularly gratifying results. And now you're here, so it's all worked out, hasn't it?"

My hands are tied

My body bruised, he's got me with

Nothing to win and

Nothing left to lose

Yoh sighed and looked away. "Oniichan, I don't know how to say this in words, so you're going to have to read my mind, okay?" Confusion. Regret. Why did you wait so long? I am who I am now, not Hao, not even proto-Hao. I'm Yoh. And I don't like harming anyone, shaman or human. And I think I'm going to have to stop you, which means I have to leave you just as we've found each other again. And I don't want to. But I have to. It's like an arrow loosed from the bow…once it leaves the archer, its target is set, its fate sealed. As ours is.

Hao blinked at the barrage of emotions that had bombarded his mind. "Otooto…." You don't understand, do you? People like you are who I'm fighting for, people with gifts, Shamans - people the world should worship but instead shun in fear and hatred. He sent a slew of images at Yoh, of shamans being hunted, jeered at, mistreated. Do you think it's right that we should be treated this way when the power to change the world lies in our hands? Is it right that we should be alone all the time?...and an image of a younger Yoh sobbing into his pillow bloomed in both their minds simultaneously, although neither could tell from whose heart it had come. I understand your feelings, and they do you credit in that you are so very innocent, and loving, and pure. But this is a war. And in war sacrifices have to be made.

"That's why I need to be Shaman King." Hao summed up out loud in frustration. "But to achieve my aims, I need your strength too."

Yoh's face was completely neutral as he absorbed this. Then, in a curiously flat voice, he asked, "So…that's all I am to you? A tool to be used?"

"Don't you dare say that! Don't you ever dare say that!" snarled Hao, and the campfire blazed up suddenly, fueled by his rage. "Why can't you understand? You're part of me, and yes, I want to lean on your strength, but it's more complicated that that. You're my brother, and I want you by my side, where you should have been all along, if not for those interfering Asakuras! You're mine, not theirs! And if anyone's ever regarded you as a tool to be used, it has been them, not I." He stopped abruptly, shocked at his own outburst, shocked at his own loss of control. No one, not even those ridiculous X-Laws, had ever been able to provoke him this way…and he didn't like it. He looked over at Yoh, who regarded him solemnly with those great dark eyes that seemed to see more than they were revealing.

"I think our coloring is more like otoosan's, but we look more like okaasan. At least, we have her eyes and face. What do you think?

With one swift motion, Hao had grabbed Yoh by the collar and brought his face menacingly close. "What…are…you…talking…about?"

"No need to get worked up, oniichan!" squeaked Yoh, freeing himself from Hao's grip reproachfully. "It was just an observation." He smiled wistfully. "I have to be going soon or my friends will wonder what happened to me. And Anna will have a fit if I'm not rested and ready to train by morning. So I was trying to fix your image in my mind."

Hao looked defeated by this random leap of logic. "You could just look in the mirror, you know."

"Iie. We're more different than you think. We may look the same in some ways, but we think differently. And since thought is what moves everything, even the body, we don't stand the same way, or move the same way. Even our hair is different. I just want to remember my ani." Yoh laughed sheepishly. "Or something like that, I don't know, sometimes my thoughts get jumbled up in my head and they don't come out clearly."

"Wait…you're leaving?" Hao's mind finally caught up with what was going on. "Why? After all I've shown you, with all we mean to each other, why?" So close, so close…you want to be with me, otooto. Why are you doing this to us?

Yoh sighed, and stood slowly, dusting himself off. "I've missed you, oniichan. And it's true that when I'm with you, I feel safe…I feel whole. That's why I came here tonight, to see you, to talk to you…to listen to your story. But even though I've heard your story, I still don't agree with what you're planning to do, you know, even though I think I understand a little better than before." Yoh's voice had gained a gravity that sent a chill down Hao's spine for some reason. His voice, soft, yet resolute and relentless, went on, "Still, you can obviously see spirits, and no one who can see spirits is truly evil. But I can feel that your heart is set in its course, and nothing I say will change that, ne? So I have to leave, because I can't be a part of this. And my friends will need me to protect them from you and your allies."

Hao distinctly felt a stabbing pain in his chest. Betrayed. Again. He could see Yoh wince at the harshness of the sentiment, and his lip curled. "You presume too much, otooto. You may have become stronger, but you're still no match for me." I could take you now by force, stop you from going, you know.

Yoh shook his head as if to clear it, then smiled serenely. "I know. But don't worry, it will work out." And you won't. Because I know you now, and you wouldn't do that to me. I matter to you.

"Why do you insist on defending these tiny creatures? Are they even grateful?" Do they understand what you're sacrificing for them?

"I don't do it for the thanks. It's just…something I have to do." I believe they do. I believe in their hearts. And I'm sorry this hurts you, I really am. I would never do anything to hurt you deliberately if there weren't a good reason. Do you believe me?

Whatever. "Fine. Leave. It doesn't matter. You'll be mine soon enough when I'm Shaman King." Hao turned away bitterly, trying to fake unconcern even though his heart felt like it was being ripped apart. He gritted his teeth against the pain, cursing his body for being…merely human. And then, he felt a pair of arms wrap around him with an achingly familiar touch.

"I've always been yours, oniichan. There are just things we have to do separately for a while, that's all. If we truly are two halves of the same spirit, we'll eventually be reunited." Yoh laughed gaily. "And then we'll have such interesting stories to tell each other!"

Hao squeezed his eyes shut, willing the pain to abate. He could feel Yoh's warmth flowing around him, soothing and reassuring him the way it had back in Keiko's womb. The heavy feeling within seemed to fade away slowly, and he gradually relaxed. Yoh could feel his brother's muscles losing their rock-hard rigidity, and he continued to babble softly into Hao's ear, "It'll be fun, like having two lives worth of memories to discuss instead of one. And I promise I'll listen to the thousand years of memories this time. Well, I might fall asleep, but you can always wake me up when you get bored, you know. And oh, I can introduce you to Amidamaru, you'll like him, he's great, if a bit serious when you first meet him, and really interesting to talk to – does Spirit of Fire talk much at all? And we'll have oranges, and watch the stars together…I bet you know lots more about them than I do, so you can teach me their names..."

"Yoh."

"Hao?"

"You should go now." Before my resolve weakens and I force you to stay.

"Okay. Hao?"

"Nani?"

"I haven't forgotten, you know." I love you, oniichan! I love you! I love you….

Hao stood there and listened to the crunch of Yoh's footfalls dying away into the night. And then, half to himself, half to the listening mind of his brother, the most powerful shaman in the world said softly, "I love you too, otooto." I love you. And I believe you.

Silence greeted him. And then an answering whisper on the breeze – or was it in his mind? I know. Until we meet again, ani.

With or without you

With or without you

I can't live

With or without you….