ASOUE 13 The Ferocious Fiasco Finale

by ICBM King

This is a horrible story of murder and arson. It is obviously my most likely false version of book the 13th. Title's three words explained inside. Chapter 12 HERE. The finale of the finale COMING SOON..... unfortunately

1. A Distressing Prolouge

A DISTRESSING PROLOGUE

Pre-Prologue

Disclaimer: I don't own ASOUE! And I am not Lemony-whatever I say. And I am not putting one of these in every chapter, because it is impractical.

I am back with MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE!

Please R&R EVERYONE!

Thanks to all you reviewers! But I want more! More! More! More! More! More! Even if you say my story is sty, review! Special thanks: fjbtyl or whatever that name is. To say my story is good, what with his being flawless, is great.

The Petrifying Prologue

To be found on the back of A Series of Unfortunate Events #13 – The Ferocious Fiasco Finale.

Dear Reader,

I must regret to tell you that this book is one of the few in the world which will make you sequentially have dampened eyes, cry until a small puddle is on the floor, go mad and drink more wine than necessary and then burn this book, and possibly your entire house, down. However, you are probably wondering why. This book is the final chapter in the Baudelaries lives and possibly, probably and definitely the most disturbing, distressing, dehumanizing and disgusting.

Some would argue that this finale is a good one, because this miserable series needs an ending so it can simply stop instead of having more and more misfortune. It is my displeasure to counterargue that this book is so utterly devastating and awful that perhaps it would be better for 13, or even 169, more books than this one.

I probably should not even mention some of the woe in this book, such as an abundance of arson and murder, Sir, the Megatower, people who are stunningly villainous, a swarm of a gigantic number of eagles and a devastating ending to a wretched series.

This book is more ferocious than a lion, more of a fiasco than the schism and the ridiculously depressing finale to this series.

With all due respect,

-----Lemony Snicket's Signature-----

Lemony Snicket

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Also featured: Dedication to Beatrice

For Beatrice: 13 books describe the tragic tale of the Baudelaires orphans, 169 could not begin to describe the tragic tale of me losing you.