"Haha!" roared Count Olaf, "Now you know I am not bluffing; I really am willing to kill you! Haha! Now listen to what will happen: "We will use the Sky Olaf to pick up the Surface Olaf and carry it back over the city into the ocean! Haha! Then we will find the Widdershins! Haha! Any objections?" Needless to say, for fear of dying, there were no voiced objections.
Count Olaf instructed Violet to attach the Surface Olaf to the Sky Olaf with strong knots. Violet used the Devil's Tongue-a favorite of hers that had been used in many a rope-related incident in the Baudelaire's life. Olaf told everyone to climb onto the Sky Olaf. Then the Sky Olaf started up and it was weighed down, but it worked. "Haha! Soon I'll find the Queequeg! Haha!" All five remaining orphans wondered why Count Olaf wanted to find Kit and the Widdershins, but no one commented. After a few hours the Sky Olaf managed to pass over the countryside, city and over the ocean.
Olaf ordered the Surface Olaf to be dropped, and it was. Then he did something that I am sure will be of interest to you. He lit one of his matches and threw it up. As you almost certainly know, when a match touches helium-like that found in the balloons of a self-sustaining hot air mobile home-it causes an explosion. Olaf ran to his quarters and threw his weapons onto the Surface Olaf, and followed suit himself. Then the orphans began trying to do the same. Sunny, Violet, Isadora, Klaus, Dun-. As Duncan was flying in the air the match hit the balloon and caused the entire self-sustaining hot air mobile home to explode in flames. Poor Duncan was caught in this and was thrown far away and his dead body sunk underneath the water. All four remaining orphans cried again. "Haha!" laughed Olaf, "Another stupid orphan dead! Haha! The Queequeg in my grasp! Haha! Life is good! Haha!" The whole aboard the Surface Olaf the orphans cried, until the reached a particular lump of coral. "Haha! We stay here until the Widdershins come! Haha!" Unless you happen to be as blunt as the lead pipe I know will seal my fate-the phrase "seal my fate" here means "doom me"-if I do not finish this chapter by midnight, you will know this was said by Count Olaf.
They waited there until the Baudelaires saw something that made them get déjà vu. As you probably know, "déjà vu" is the French expression for seeing something and remembering something eerily similar, and like most French expressions déjà vu is rather unpleasant. The Baudelaires remembered just a short while ago seeing a periscope rise out of the water. Then their déjà vu intensified-a word which here means "grew even bigger"-when an echoey voice called up, "Friend or foe?" Even though I strongly hope you did not, reading The Grim Grotto allows you to be informed of the fact that this is an expression asking if someone knocking is with or against you. Also, whether you are a friend or a foe to the commander of the echoey voice in question is irrelevant if your intention is to enter the thing it is asking about, for instance a submarine. Knowing this, Count Olaf yelled, "Friend you bloody idiot." The hatch opened and the voice said, "Enter, Olaf," and now the Baudelaires déjà vu intensified very far indeed, as if they would once again have an unfortunate submarine-based misadventure-a word which here means "eventful yet dreadful time"-.
All the five remaining people climbed down into the submarine. At the bottom was someone the Baudelaires had not seen in a small time-Captain Widdershins, Captain of the Queequeg. "Aye! Aye! Welcome aboard! Everyone get down! Aye! Don't waste time! Aye! Wait, do! Aye! Don't fall! Aye! Actually, I'll catch you! Aye! So it doesn't matter! Aye! Come on! Aye! Oh, my the Baudelaires! Aye! And a Quagmire! Aye! I thought you were all dead! Aye! Aye! Aye!" It seemed in the time they had not seen him, Captain Widdershins maintained-a word which here means "did not change one bit"-his enormous presence-a phrase which here means "large physical size, combined with a vibrant personality and a loud voice"-altogether.
"Haha!" began Olaf, "Now I will take over the Sea Olaf, previously called the Carmelita, thought it was supposed to be the Olaf. In fact, I would call it the Olaf, but then it could get confused with the Sky Olaf, the Surface Olaf and the Handsome Count. Haha! Maybe the Land Olaf too! Haha! I'll make an army of vehicles! Haha!" "Aye! Aye! Not aye!" roared Captain Widdershins loudly, "This octopus-shaped submarine is called the Queequeg II! Aye! Because the Queequeg was destroyed by the man with the aura of menace on the Briny Beach! Aye! But the Queequeg II is in better condition, and is bigger! Aye! Aye! Aye." "I beg to differ," Olaf said coldy, using an expression which here means, "I disagree with you." He continued, "Haha! I have three shots left with this harpoon gun, many matches, this knife and more weapons aboard the Surface Olaf! Haha! Do as I say, and relinquish control of this submarine to me! Haha! Relinquish means-" "We know what relinquish means," said Klaus. Captain Widdershins looked scared, "Aye! As Captain of this vessel I give Count Olaf captainship! Aye!" "Good," said Olaf, "I will be right back, so no one go anywhere! Haha!" Quickly he scrambled up the ladder and then threw down all his weaponry-the flammable chemicals, the ivory dart rifle, and the Medusoid Mycelium. "Haha! I am going the Captain's quarters to lock these up and then I am coming out to boss you around! Haha!"
Count Olaf did what he suggested he would do and came back with only the knife. "Haha! Don't try to escape to the Surface Olaf, I burned it! Haha! In fact, there are its remains right now sinking! Haha! Take me to the main area! Haha!"
Captain Widdershins led them into the main area and there were four people the Baudelaires were glad to meet-Fiona, Captain Widdershins stepdaughter; Fernald, who recently quick villainy; Phil, who was the biggest optimist in the history of the world; and Kit Snicket, one the three Snicket siblings. Everyone looked happy to see each other and Phil said, "Look at me now! I went from being cook on a dilapidated submarine to cook on a wonderful submarine. Life is getting better and better!" "Haha!" said Olaf, entering, "I'm the new captain and this boat has a new name-the Sea Olaf. Haha! Anyone who dares argue with my superiority will be killed by the knife. Haha! And you, Kit, will die right now!" he said, and turned towards her. "No, Olaf!" she begged. "Okay, due to both my generosity and greed, I will give you a change. Tell me how to get to the Megatower!" Kit gasped suddenly and looked stressed-a word which here means, "Kit looked like she had to decide between leading a treacherous villain to a mysterious and important building and death," which was actually exactly what was happening-. "Okay, Olaf," she said, apparently not as foolhardy-a word which here means, "willing to die instead of helping Count Olaf, despite the fact death awaits"-as Hector. She told Olaf the route and Olaf instructed everyone to assist in going there, provided they did not want death. Violet set to work on fixing the telegram; Klaus on researching what to do and telling Isadora how and where to steer; Sunny and Phil on cooking dinner; Isadora on steering based on Klaus' instructions; Captain Widdershins ordering people to do the aforementioned due to his self-made position as "secondary captain"; and Count Olaf ordering people what to do.
After about an hour everyone was hungry. Sunny and Phil said that dinner was going to be chicken. "Aye! Aye! Good!" yelled Mr. Secondary Captain Widdershins, "A nice hot meal! Aye! Aye! Better than Phil's disgusting casseroles! Aye!" Even Olaf enjoyed the meal as they ate it, and he asked, "Haha! Someone tell me how long until we reach the Megatower! Haha! Or I'll kill someone! Haha!" Klaus replied, "Another hour, Olaf, it is very remote." "I don't care how remote it is, I need to go there to destroy the last evidence against me. Haha! After all the complete history of injustice is burned, every single V.F.D. headquarters is burned, all that's left is this! Haha! And I can steal the Baudelaire, Quagmire, Widdershins, Denouement, Spats, Squalor, Greziva and even the most enormous of all Snicket fortunes! Haha! The world will be mine! Haha! And the Godfather's! Haha! And the Principals! Haha! And my girlfriends! Haha! And Sir's! Haha! Haha!"
After dinner everyone continued doing the aforementioned jobs-except Sunny and Phil, who cleaned up dinner. And hour passed and suddenly the Sea Olaf hit a bump and everyone looked up in wonder at what they say.