Okay, my first Desperate Housewive fic. A more deeper look at Gabby. The title comes from something one of my friends said about all these celebrities coming out with wine or perfume and she was like 'I wouldn't be surprised if Armani came out with tea!'. It was funny. Constructive criticism is welcome and considered and flames will be used to keep me even warmer in the unseasonal Indiana weather we're having.
Pairing: Gabby/Carlos because I really like the idea of adulteryor underage romance.Maybe I'm aprude.
Disclaimer: I am not as brilliant as Marc Cherry.
And all the roads we have to walk are winding
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding
There are many things that I would like to say to you
But I don't know how
- Wonderwall, Oasis
Sometimes she feels as if all there is to this life is this vainness. This life that is so superficial and so jealous and vague (can't even tell what's real and what isn't anymore). Two hundred dollar tans and Dior gowns and ready-to-make filet mignon. This is her life. And secretly, she hates it.
She feels Carlos drifting. And it isn't because of John or his new born again Christian self-status or the loss of their first (would-be first, didn't give a shit until too late) child. It isn't even because of Sister Mary (slutslutslut). It had been happening long before. Before Mary Alice killed herself and before her old gardener quit and before she had that first kiss with the new one (so intense and hard and so so so wrong).
It is true that she was lonely, and it is true that Carlos was never home. She had perfected the art of convincing herself she was doing nothing harmful. That John was just a passing fling, that he was nothing special (because he's seventeen, for God's sakes!). She still isn't sure if Carlos was as stupid as he seemed, or if he did suspect something and decided to keep his mouth shut.
She married him for the money and everybody knows it, even Susan who seems oblivious to everything. She didn't love him…and now sometimes she wonders if that has changed. If it has, she knows she's sabotaged any chance that they would have had at being a normal married couple. Lynette doesn't know how good she has it, and Bree never did either. And on the inside, she despises that part of them. For Lynette's sticky, precocious children and her messy home and her marriage that is full of stress and kisses and humor. Bree's homemade meals and spotless picture frames and those stupid mail-order gardenias. And for both of their happy little lives.
She wants all that. She never thought she would, and even now she won't admit. But there's this longing inside of her, this longing to give her husband the love he deserves and to have a baby waking them up in the middle of the night and a house that feels like there's actual human life inside (empty and cold and lonely). At night she lays awake and cries and folds herself into her husband's back and wets his soft tan skin. He never wakes up and half of her wishes he would.
Sometimes, she feels a little hope inside of her. A little piece of…something that makes her feel like everything is going to work out in the end. She feels it when she's conversing over cocktails with her friends or when her and Carlos are actually talking and laughing or even when she steps into the nursery that she keeps meaning to unfurnish though she never will.
Gabby knows that she loves her husband.
And some days- more so now than in the past -, she's seeing that now he's believing her more and more.
Author's Note: This was supposed to be so angsty but nooo, Gabby just has to have everything her way and take it in a different direction.
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