The source of the aforementioned bump was actually a bittersweet victory. A bittersweet victory is simply when you win something-the victory part-but it is tainted by something-the bittersweet part-. The reason for the source of the aforementioned bump being a bittersweet victory was that now the boat was on Briny Beach, where they intended to go anyways. However, it also called the Sea Olaf/Queequeg II to crash because of the velocity-"velocity" is just a fancy word for speed"-at it was traveling. Due to the aforementioned, everyone scrambled to escape.
In a few minutes they all had escaped and they saw the submarine break down and get ruined forever. This was the third time the Baudelaires had been here, and every time it was empty and foggy. Also, Sunny always shrieked "Gack," which meant something along the lines of, "Look at that mysterious figure emerging from the fog." Heeding traditional ceremonies-a phrase which here means, "Doing what she did every time,"-Sunny suddenly shrieked, "Gack," which meant something along the lines of, "Look at that mysterious figure emerging from the fog." Indeed, there was a figure with a large, square head that looked mildly creep. It seemed the figure was heeding traditional ceremonies as well, as it turned out to be Mr. Poe, nitwit banker and terrible caretaker of young orphans who lost their parents in a fire.
"Baudelaires!" Mr. Poe exclaimed with exclamation-a phrase with here means "said with amazement in his voice"-, "What are you doing here?" "We just had to land here," said Violet, "What brings you to these parts on such a misty day? I thought you burned in the fire." "It's my lunch break. I escaped and no one noticed, thank goodness, my bank is still around. A small sanctuary. Well, since you have been trying to run away from me, nothing but wretchedness has happened. You will come with me, and I will find an appropriate guardian, as suggested by the will of your parents. This time, please do not run away with people, as it caused you to do nothing but become arsonists. Arsonists are-" "We know what arsonists are," sighed Klaus, once again pointing out to Mr. Poe that he knew words that Mr. Poe considered to complex to any child, even one as intelligent as Klaus. "However, it will have to wait until tomorrow, at least, I'm afraid, as I'm extremely busy." "Hooray, we get to be safe!" exclaimed Phil. At this point in the story, you have probably forgotten about Phil, as thus far his dialogue-a word which here means, "What Phil said"-had been minimal. "Aye! Safety! Aye!" and only someone ridiculously dumb and dumbly ridiculous would be surprised in the least to learn that this phrase came from Mr. Widdershins.
Mr. Poe drove the lot of them-Violet, Klaus, Sunny, Mr. Widdershins, Fiona, Fernald and Phil-to his house, which hadn't changed one bit since the Baudelaires stayed there long, long, long, long, long ago. In fact, technically speaking, Mr. Poe was the first of the many miserable guardians of the Baudelaires after the fire. It still smelled bad and had two childred-Edgar and Albert-who were immature and stupid and certainly not acting like two children of a well-respected member of the baking community should. The next day Mr. Poe announced he found a guardian for them all, "In the Infinite Forest there is a small village called Paltrydale where a lumbermill is located you will stay. Though I daresay," he looked at Mr. Widdershins, Phil and Fernald, "You three are not minors and may do as you please." "Aye? No, aye! We'll stay with the Baudelaires to the bitter end! Aye!" "But the end won't be bitter, it'll be sweet! Hooray for happy endings!" said Phil in his ridiculously optimistic way. Anyone who has read parts of the lives of the Bauedlaires knows that happy endings are like people turning into boomerangs; as nice and occasionally useful as it would be, the Baudelaires just do not experience them.
Of course at the mention of the Infinite Forest, Paltrydale and the lumbermill the Baudelaires knew what was coming for them-they had briefly been there with Count Olaf, if you remember. "Come on, we need to catch the train!" called Mr. Poe. All eight people went into Mr. Poe's car. He drove to the train station that the Baudelaires had been to only a short while ago. The train was coming, even thought the Baudelaires thought it was abandoned. Then they sat down on the train and prepared for yet another chapter of misfortunate in their lives.
It is at this moment I will warn you not to read further. If you recall the very first sentence of the fourth book in this series-which I dearly hope you have not had the misfortune to even look at, let alone read-you will know it was, "The Baudelaires stared out of the window of the train into the gloomy blackness of the Finite Forest, wondering if their lives would ever get any better." Such a dreadful thing only meant more and more dread in the rest of that atrocious story. I am sorry to report that in the paragraph right after that I will have to use a sentence that is exactly the same as that, and leads to a set of even more unfortunate events in a lumbermill. This is your final warning to save yourself from reading such a disturbing sentence as "The Baudelaires stared out of the window of the train into the gloomy blackness of the Finite Forest, wondering if their lives would ever get any better," in the very middle of the very middle chapter of this book.
The Baudelaires stared out of the window of the train into the gloomy blackness of the Finite Forest, wondering if their lives would ever get any better. Then they realized they were staring out of the window of the train into the gloomy blackness of the Infinite Forest, not the Finite Forest, but they still wondered if their lives would get any better, even though since the last time they thought that thought there lives got progressively worse and worse, and I am sorry to say, the same is true here.
"Here we are," said Mr. Poe an hour later, "The lovely Paltrydale Station in the lovely Paltrydale village in the lovely Infinite Forest. Goodbye, orphans, and I daresay I hope you do not get into mischief once again!" Just like last time they found themselves in a similar case, Mr. Poe explained that the train came only once a day and he was busy at the bank. But, among such friends as the Widdershins and Phil, they could not help but think they would be a little happier this time. Of course, they were wrong, but at the particular moment in time, I will let them rest with their happy thoughts.
They walked to the gate of the lumbermill and walked in. Inside was a note that said:
"Memorandum.
To: Baudelaires, Widdershins and Phil
From: Manager
Subject: Your Arrival
It seems once again I will have to use you Baudelaires, to work for me. I hope this time you are more efficient, as Count Omar is dead, so excuses are ridiculous and fruitless. Fruitless means ridiculous. Phil, it seems you had to come back too, I expect you to work hard. And the three Widdershins, I hope that you work hard too. Thank you.
The Baudelaires sighed and knocked on the door to their bunk, and a voice greeted them, saying, "This door hasn't been knocked on for sixteen years."
The Baudelaires feelings of déjà vu escalated.