A/N: For Warning and Disclaimer, refer back to the PROLOGUE

Chapter 9: Clarity

"Ow! You could be a little gentler you know?" Heat snapped at May, who was applying a piece of frozen meat on Heat's now swollen cheek and nearly broken jaw.

"Hey! I'm doing the best I can!" she yelled back.

"So…" she trailed off, "Why did…why did he do that?"

"…"

"Well? Aren't you going to answer me?" she asked irritably.

"You wouldn't understand May. Just leave it at that." he said sternly.

"Oh? I'm too immature right? Lemme guess; your relationships are way too complicated for my feeble mind to grasp, is that it?" she hissed.

"May…"

"Don't shut me out Heat…please…You always did things by yourself, thinking that you could handle the world." She cast her eyes down, tears threatening to spill, "But you know what? You always forgot that I existed. I'm not a little girl anymore Heat. I'm grown up now. I'm a grown woman now. Please treat me like one."

With that said, she got up, "I'll be back with ice."

He grasped her wrist, "Wait May. I'm sorry."

She smiled gratefully at him, "No need. I suppose it's natural for big brothers to act like you. But I wish you'd let me in. You'd feel much better talking about it."

"Thanks May."

"Anytime."

xxxxx

Argilla sat there, on the floor, unmoving, unflinching. She still couldn't quite feel her body. It had gone numb. Tears flowed freely from her eyes yet she did not sob. Serph had left her; and now, she was alone.

"No!" she yelled to no one in particular. She had cursed herself for being weak and indecisive, but now, she wasn't going to let those feelings overwhelm her again. She loved Serph and she was going to get him back.

"Serph!"

With a sudden burst of energy, she quickly stood, running downstairs towards the coat rack. She quickly grabbed her coat and put it on. Serph had left; her search would not be easy. She was going to have to check his old haunts; that was, if he didn't already leave for Sahasrara.

Fumbling nervously in her coat pocket, she reached for her car keys and ran towards her car.

As she sped through the quiet suburban roads, her mind roamed over to the possibilities of his whereabouts. She frowned. Serph wasn't exactly an extrovert. The only places that he liked to go to was the observatory by the Karma Lookout Point, the beach, the Maribel Café and of course, Svathisthana Park.

She glanced at her watch; it was already quarter to ten. The good news was that the Maribel Café was already closed at this time of night. Well, that was one factor off her list. She pressed the accelerator and headed for the observatory.

Argilla arrived at the observatory ten minutes later. She bit her lip and got down from her car. She glanced around and yelled, "Serph!!"

Suddenly, a figure came from the shadows. "What are you doing miss? Are you looking for someone?"

The voice startled Argilla but she immediately relaxed, seeing it was only a guard.

"I'm sorry. Yes, I'm looking for someone."

The guard quirked an eyebrow; this was the first time a pretty lady came there, pretty late in the evening. He had to admit, he was intrigued.

"I'm looking for a man with Silver hair. He's about 5'11" and-"

She didn't manage to complete her sentence as the guard put up his hand, shaking his head, "Sorry miss. No one came here. The observatory is closed."

"But! He has access to this place!"

Now, the guard was even more curious, "Are you by chance looking for Dr. Sheffield?"

"Oh yes! Is he here?"

"Sorry miss. He didn't come by."

"I'm sorry I bothered you."

She quickly turned around, not bothering to wait for the guard's response and dashed for her car.

xxxxx

"May…"

May, who was snuggling up to Heat, tilted her face to meet his eyes, "What's wrong Heat? Are you in pain? Does it hurt?"

Heat shook his head, "I'm sorry May. I…I guess you're right. It's just that…I just think that if I told you about Dr. Sheffield that you might…lose your respect for me."

May playfully slapped him on the arm, "That would never happen Heat. I trust you."

Heat smiled bitterly, "That's what she said too…"

"She…?"

"Forget it…just muttering to myself."

"So…what happened?"

He sighed once more, "Let's just say that I fell in love with the wrong woman at the wrong place and at the wrong time."

May raised an eyebrow, "Huh? What about Argilla-neechan?"

Heat looked at May quizzically, "You study Japanese?"

"Hai!" she beamed, "I have nothing better to do in my spare time, so I decided to learn a new language!"

"I'm really proud of you May. But what about French or German?"

"Oh no you don't! You're not going to trick me into changing the subject. So, come on! Argilla-neechan wa, nani yo itai?"

"I beg your pardon?" Heat asked in confusion.

"I said, 'what happened to Argilla-neechan!'"

"…"

Heat sighed at the sound of her name and May nudged his shoulder, "Heat…?"

"I told you she got married three years ago right? To a scientist?"

May nodded her head; unsure where this was going, "R-right…and?"

"You're a smart girl May."

May placed her fingers on her chin thoughtfully for a few seconds before coming to her conclusion, turning to Heat with shocked and bewildered eyes, "Heat…you didn't-"

He nodded.

"Heat…"

"So, have you lost respect for me yet?"

"I-I…I can't Heat. You're my brother…and I can't pretend to not understand why you did it…but…then…what happened to her?"

"…She didn't choose me."

"Heat…" May didn't say anything more and hugged her brother to her chest as tight as she could.

"Ow!! Be careful will you?"

Heat groaned in pain as May accidentally hit his jaw with her head, "Whoops! Sorry! You're such a baby Heat!"

"You have no idea…" he chuckled.

xxxxx

Argilla sped through the roads and headed for the beach. She could smell the ocean and for an instant she saw the memory when she and Serph had gone there, on a night such as this and they just sat there, on the white sand, under the full moon and the twinkling stars. A single tear rolled down her cheek. She was going to find him.

She got down from her car and glanced at her watch; it was a quarter past ten. She scanned the beach far and wide; as far as her eyes could see. There was no car to be seen. The beach was as empty and quiet as a graveyard.

She took off her shoes and walked towards the waves, letting the water just barely touch her toes. She wrapped her arms around her as she felt a cool breeze pass by. Her sad eyes scanned the area once more, "Serph!!"

She shouted his name three more times until she decided that he wasn't there. She walked back to her car and prepared to drive toward her last destination; Svathisthana Park.

xxxxx

The two siblings sat in front of the TV, both being absentminded. Heat's mind wandered far and wide; to a certain woman. 'Damn it!' he growled inwardly, he was doing it again. If he was going to move on, he was going to have to stop thinking about her.

May, on the other hand wasn't blind even to the slightest change in Heat's behavior. She could feel him tense up every now and then, and it didn't have anything to do with the program that they were currently watching. At least, May didn't think so. If she knew her brother, she would know that Heat couldn't give a rat's ass about TV series such as Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

The two stared at the screen, their eyes blank. They broke from their trance as they heard the doorbell ring.

Ah. Savior.

Pizza.

"I'll get it May." Heat left the couch and reached for his wallet. May watched him go and realized that Heat had been completely silent for the last ten minutes. She watched as Heat paid the delivery boy with an expressionless face.

She sighed. Her brother was desperately in love. And he was heart broken.

Heat walked into the living room holding a box of pizza, "Come on May," he said with a feigned smile, "let's pig out!"

May wrinkled her nose at his choice of words, "You're the only pig here Heat."

The two chuckled and started to eat. It was then that silence had reigned over them once more.

"Heat?"

"Hmm?"

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"About Argilla?"

May nodded, noticing the pained expression that Heat had whenever he'd say her name.

He sighed, "I should have told her long ago. Now, I lost my chance." He shook his head regrettably, "Now, she has someone…When I first found out that she married, I thought I was having a nightmare. I didn't want to believe it until she told me herself. That's when I moved to Lokapala. Years later, I thought that my feelings for her vanished. Boy was I surprise when I figured that they didn't vanish at all when I saw her again six months ago."

He paused momentarily, his gaze having a faraway look in them. May clutched his hand and he continued, "She and I had grown apart though. She wouldn't talk to me or even look at me. She treated me like a stranger. But who could blame her? I was the one who left without so much as a goodbye post-it card. I couldn't expect her to welcome me back with open arms; especially if that place has already been reserved by Sheffield."

"I didn't mean for things to get out of hand…it was just that…we met up and I told her that we needn't be strangers to one another. As the weeks went by, we became close and…rumors started to spread about us. We didn't pay attention and I still kept my distance. But, then, I noticed that Argi wasn't very happy. In fact, she was miserable with Serph."

"Did she tell you that?" May asked.

"Her eyes did. She avoided the topic. It was then that we made the mistake…I told her how I felt."

Heat balled in his hands into fists, "Damn it, it isn't fair."

"What did she say?"

"She said that she loved me too…but I knew she was confused. She needed someone and I happened to be there. She needed Serph, but I was the only one who cared."

At this, May's eyes narrowed, "Did she use you?"

Heat shook his head, "No. I knew what she was going through…and yet I…pursued her. If anything, I am to blame. She wanted a friend but she found a lover. She couldn't give up either one. She thought that if she didn't accept my feelings, I would leave. She didn't want to be alone, so she pretended that my feelings for her didn't exist. Every time I'd tell her I loved her, she'd turn away and change the subject. But, despite that, we spent a lot of time together. But then," he paused for a moment, his fists shaking slightly, "things changed. Her relationship with Serph improved. And that left me in the dark."

He shook his head, "I didn't even know why I felt so cheated when I shouldn't have. She hasn't done anything wrong but a part of me wanted to take her from Serph. I expected too much from her. Not long after that, she told me that she and I…could never be. She loved me as a friend. No more, no less."

"Heat…"

"I had to leave so…well, I guess the rest is history." he said, scratching the back of his head flashing a sheepish smile; a feigned smile, May realized.

"Serph probably found out about Argi and I, otherwise, he wouldn't have punched me in the face." Heat touched his jaw again, growling in pain, "That little runt can punch though. Didn't see it coming."

May scowled, "He could punch or are you just too much of a sissy?"

Heat threw a pillow at May's face and she stumbled off the chair, "Why you-!!"

Heat put his hands in front of his face, "Manners! What would mum say if she saw you like this?"

"I'll get you some day for this Heat!" she roared.

xxxxx

He sat, alone, on a bench at Svathisthana Park. It had been the same bench, by the lake, where he proposed to her that day. It had seemed so long ago. Everything had happened so fast; too quickly. At one time, he was happy with her. He was happily married; he always felt her warm presence beside him. But now, only cold empty space occupied her position.

His mind was a blank.

He instinctively looked at his watch. It was half past ten. He didn't even notice that he had been sitting there, on the bench, doing nothing, just staring into space for the past hour.

He loved her so much. But she had hurt him. He wanted to hurt her so bad; he wanted her to suffer. But then, as he remembered her broken form at their house just hours before, he couldn't bring himself to hurt her any more than he already did. It was then that he remembered Heat's words, "I deserve that. She doesn't. She chose you. You're the one she loves."

But all things being equal, could they really go back to the way they were before? Could he really forgive her for what she had done? Could he forgive himself for abusing her? Could she forgive him?

Probably not.

Serph shook his head, "Our prognosis isn't very promising. I want to…but…"

xxxxx

The hour was getting later and the wind had begun to pick up; sending her chilly breezes. Argilla shuddered as one such breeze prickled her skin; like a thousand needles poking the sensitive flesh.

Argilla ran through the park frantically, looking for Serph. She quickly headed for their favorite bench, and there, seated on the bench, the one person that she had been looking for all night.

"Serph!!"

xxxxx

Heat stood at May's bedside, staring at his sister as she tucked herself in. She smiled and grasped his hand, "Heat? I…I don't know what the future will hold for us…for you, but all I know is that you'll be just fine."

She chuckled, "I'm here for you Heat. Please don't forget that."

Heat smiled, bending down giving her a kiss on her forehead, "I won't May. Never."

"Goodnight Heat." she yawned.

"Sweet dreams princess."

xxxxx

Serph broke from his reverie as he heard someone's voice call out to him. He turned his head behind him and he saw Argilla running towards him.

"A-argilla…what are you doing here?"

Serph inwardly cursed; he was appearing to be a weak-minded buffoon, and so, he put up his emotional guard once more, "I already told you, I'll send you the papers in two days."

Argilla remained silent; even after everything that they had been through, he still refused to let her in, to accept her.

"Serph please…"

"Please what? What do you want?" he asked irritably, crossing his arms, turning away from her.

Argilla clasped her hands together, clutching them at her heart, "Why do you always do this to me? Don't I matter to you anymore?"

"I lost the responsibility to you the moment we agreed on our divorce Argilla. You are free to do as you wish. Don't shift the blame on me." he stated coldly.

She roughly sucked in her breath, her chest beginning to slightly constrict at the harshness of his words, "Serph…I love you…Why must we be like this?"

"Why?" he suddenly turned around, glaring at her, "You want to know why?"

He suddenly walked towards her and she stepped back, "You did this to us Argilla! You ruined us! You tarnished whatever we had! And for what? For a lame-brain doctor who served your fancy for three weeks?"

Argilla didn't know what suddenly came over her. Was it anger? Was it hate?

Serph stood there, his face plastered with the look of shock. He instinctively reached for his cheek. She had slapped him; hard.

Argilla narrowed her eyes at him, "Don't you ever, ever accuse me of not loving you Serph. Don't you ever, ever think that Heat was just a flight of fancy to me. I loved him. He was my best friend."

Serph had remained silent and she broke down in tears, "I'm tired of you treating me like this; like I'm some kind of whore! A brainless, useless whore! I didn't ask to have a relationship with Heat. He came to me!"

"Yeah," he sneered, "he came to you alright and you just welcomed him!"

"No…!" she muttered, her voice low and venomous, "I didn't…I respected you…but you just hurt me. You shut me out and he was there to comfort me…"

"Why are you telling me all this Argilla? Why now?"

"Because…I'm not leaving here without you…"

"…? What?" Serph asked, confused.

"You always took charge Serph. Now, it's my turn. I'm not giving you up. I love you…I chose you…I didn't choose Heat. He loves me, but I don't love him the way I love you…! And," she moved closer to him, stopping only when their faces were mere inches apart, "I know that you love me too…"

"Hn, what makes you say that?" he challenged arrogantly.

"Because…" she whispered against his lips, "I feel you…"

She closed the distance between them and he let her. She feverishly kissed him and he could feel how she still quivered against him, her lips slightly trembling. He snaked an arm around her waist; he didn't want to admit it, but she was right. He was in love with her; desperately.

He followed her lead and their lips danced.

She broke away from him moments later, her pink eyes seeking his silver ones.

"Serph…?"

He nodded and held her close, "I know…I'm sorry Argilla…I don't know what else to say. Do not take my lack of dialogue to be cold; on the contrary, I just believe that there're no words to say what I'm feeling. What I did to you was…unjustifiable. I'm just afraid that whatever would come from my lips would just be an excuse…"

"Serph…"

"Argilla…?"

"Hmm…?"

"I want to go home…"

"Then let's go home Serph…"

She slowly reached for his hand and intertwined her fingers with his. Serph stared into her eyes, "Will you promise me one thing Argilla?"

"Anything…"

"Will you promise to love me forever?"

She smiled.

"I promise."

xxxxx