Chapter 3: "Dreams"

"Are you trying to justify what he did!"

The look in his eyes as Squall stepped up to her sent a shiver down her spine. Her every sense was telling her to get the hell out of there. She immediately backed away untill there was no where else to go. He had her cornered against a wall.

-No…no… there's something wrong with you…Oh please…Hyne help me… -

Almost freaking out she glanced over to the side to check her options and saw Zell standing at the ready. It was a slight comfort to see the martial artist watching out for her, but with Squall in such a state, not even he would stand a chance.

"I'm not saying what he did was right, Squall!"

Her voice was filled with fear.

"But his reasons were!"

The fire in his eyes was burning away at her face. Never before had she seen him like this. She replied, sobbing with tears in her eyes.

"He was chasing his dream…"

"So, what, even if I'm an insane psychopath that needs to rule the world, or better yet, destroy the world and everyone in it to fullfill his dream…"

His voice tore into her brain like a chainsaw. The frustration and anger inside of him, all the bottled-up emotions suddenly burst out and clashed with the very first thing he saw, her.

She fell down to her knees and started sobbing.

"That's what you believe isn't it? That what that sick bastard did can be justified? I thought you cared about all the people he killed. I thought you wanted to stop him and that witch just as much as I did. Now you're saying that what he did was okay, because he was chasing his dream! You make me sick Quistis!"

His words fell like knives into her chest. Even though she knew that they came from his anger and hatred, she couldn't help but wonder if the words were true. She understood why Seifer had done what he had done, and had tried to make Squall understand as well. But he wouldn't listen. Not yet. Looking back she should've waited, it was too soon. But that realisation was, ironically, too late.

Squall's anger had spun out of control, and was now directing itself straight at Quistis.

"If you truly believe that, you don't belong here!"

She heard him unsheath Lionheart and looked up through her tears, watching him raise the gunblade in front of her. Not how she had expected her life to end, but somewhere she was glad that he'd be the one to take it.

Before he struck down she tried to say something, but her voice failed her.

-Squall... -

She closed her eyes and awaited his blade to strike her.

And she waited.

But it never struck.

Opening her eyes she found herself sitting straight up in her bed. Her long blonde strands sticking to her head and neck, wet with sweat. She looked around making sure she was really there, then slowly laid back down again. It was the third time that night she had that nightmare.

-That can't be healthy.-

Her heart was pounding viciously in her throat. It's scary how the worst nightmares of all are the ones that actually occurred in real life. She owed Zell her life that day, and had hugged him to death after the incident. He had knocked Squall straight out cold, much to everyone's surprise.

"Hey how come Zell's getting' all the lovin' here ladies?" Irvine had said when he came to see what all the ruckus was about, and a moment later received a black eye from Selphie.

One of the worst experiences in her life, yet she remembered that last part with a smile. Everyone had stayed exactly the same, except Squall. She didn't know why, but since that day she knew there was something wrong with him.

"Let's hope Zell will be in time once again."

"Seifer…"

The whisper cut through the darkness that filled the room, echoing throughout the vast expanded darkness within Squall's mind. Did he even whisper his name? Or did he just imagine he did? It didn't matter. At the mere thought every inch of his senses went completely numb before his body flooded with an immense warmth- no, immense heat. Warmth would mean it could be experienced as something pleasant, and this was a feeling that was far from it. The mention of his name or even just the thought of it, picturing his smug face in his mind, sent Squall spiraling down inside his own mind, falling deeper and deeper into the void of anger and hatred that had been ripped into his chest earlier that day.

It had always been there. The resentment towards Seifer, the blame Squall had aimed at him ever since he decided to hunt down his rediculous dream. But it had been sealed up inside of him up until now. After Quistis had confronted him about it once almost a year ago, no one had dared mention Seifer's name in the presence of their commander since. He hadn't meant to lash out at her that day, and he certainly hadn't meant to almost behead her. He couldn't even remember what she had said. All he remembered was not being able to stop a dark blur of emotions pouring out, sending him into an uncontrollable rage.

If it hadn't been for Zell, Quistis wouldn't be alive right now. He owed him more than he'd like to admit. He didn't blame her for not wanting to say goodbye to him in person. Hell, he was surprised she even bothered to leave him a note. Fondling in his pocket for a moment he produced the small piece of paper she had left him the day before.

"Dear Squall,

Please take care, I'd hate to have to take your place as commander if anything happened to you. I don't think I'd be ready for that yet.

Be sure to check in every once in a while, and don't forget Zell's birthday next month!

Yours sincerely,

Quistis."

It was short, nothing surprising there. Quistis had always been to the point. Except of course, when she started her lecture about 'the wonderful world of junctioning!' part one, two and three.

Zell's birthday was next month. And here he was, hoping that he'd be rid of them for six months.

Mentally cursing whoever it was that had invented the concept 'fate', Squall suddenly saw something he hadn't noticed before. At the bottom of the paper, scribbled almost unintelligible:

"I'll miss you."

What's this with people going on about how they will miss him? Especially someone like Quistis, who he had almost killed for no reason. Who knows what would've happened if Zell hadn't stopped him, he wouldn't have been able to forgive himself.

Squall liked to think that he felt guilty not because Quistis was his friend, or because he cared for her. But because it would've been a pointless death.

-Caring is for the weak. Caring for someone gives you a weak spot. It makes you do things that go against your logic. Someone can take that caring and use it against you, make you do things that you know aren't right, but you have to do it because you do not want to risk losing your loved ones. Even if your actions end up hurting a dozen more people you don't even know, you do it to save that one person you care for. Now where's the logic in that? -

No. Squall Leonhart didn't care. He had friends, if you could call them that. But when it came down to it, he was on his own. It was easier that way. Safer. More efficient. How was someone going to stop you when you weren't afraid to die, when you had nothing to lose?

That's where Squall got his strength.

-Then how the hell did you beat Ultimecia, smart-ass? -

He didn't do that on his own. 'The Lionheart' had help. 'The Fated Children' they had called them. Fated, what a laugh. They just happened to be the only ones that had the guts to pull it off. They had relied on eachother's strength in order to defeat that witch.

They had depended on one another, signaling a form of weakness in Squall's mind, yet they won the battle anyway. Were they each individually so strong that even while making such a mistake, showing such weakness, they overcame a foe that had the power to bend time?

Or was his philosophy flawed?

Squall shook his head and glanced out the window. Too late to start questioning his lifelong beliefs now. The sun was starting to rise, and already the sky was painted in different hues of blue and littered with slightly pinkish clouds. It had only just started and it had yet to reach its peak, but already it was a sight to behold. Too bad the splendor of colours was lost on Squall.

Squall had his mind set on different things. Such perilous things mattered not to him. Pretty soon his first day at Galbadia garden was about to start. He'd be gawked upon by half the Garden, if he had to believe Irvine, and he didn't really feel up to it at all. If it were up to him he'd stay in his dorm all day and get some sleep as he'd been up all night. Pondering. Wondering. Thinking.

Hating.

The only thing that could get him to class today was the slight chance of meeting Seifer. The opportunity to settle things. He would give him a piece of his mind, before breaking Seifer's head open and taking a piece of his. Fair trade, right?

Squall felt a grin form on his face. Not because it seemed funny. Not because he was happy. Not because of the satisfaction that the thought of killing Seifer brought. This grin was the last defense Squall had. The only way to stop the barrage of emotions. The only way to stop his true feelings from spilling forth. It was the only thing standing between him…

…And insanity.

The media. Ever interfering with others, sticking their noses where they don't belong. Always making assumptions and speculating about things they have very little to no knowledge of. Constantly looking at others and drawing conclusions that best fit to satisfy the lust of the readers every day. People tend to look at others and judge them, speak of them as if they know what is good or wrong about them, while they should really be looking at themselves, try to see why they act the way they do. They busy themselves with other people so they don't have to face their own imperfections, they're own incompetence.

In his own way, Squall did the same, just for different reasons. He watched other people, kept an eye on them, got a general idea of what goes on in their mind. But he did it for the sake of his own safety and security. In some situations it is a necessity to speculate on what someone would do, how someone would react. It is a way of staying a step ahead in battle, be it mentally or physically. It gives you an edge over your opponents.

But the newspapers were something different. they did it to amuse the mob. To make a profit out of it. And they weren't even doing a good job at it. Half the time they would be totally wrong about what they were writing, and this time was no different.

Squall threw the newspaper on the desk in front of him and leaned back on his chair against the wall. He had intentionally positioned himself in the back off the classroom, to hopefully remain undetected. Keeping a low profile was more of a habit than a challenge for him, but had become increasingly harder since he had become the commander of Balamb Garden. No one in Galbadia Garden had bothered (or dared) to speak to him since he arrived there last night, much to his delight.

He observed his new classmates. He silently hoped that Seifer would be among them, but he soon figured that Caraway had arranged for him to be placed in a different class. No matter. After classes were over he would have a chat with the headmaster of this Garden and 'persuade' him to reveal where Seifer was currently residing. He could just go right now, but starting trouble on his first day here somehow seemed as something less then desirable. Killing Seifer had a high priority in his mind, but he had another three months to go here after that, no point in getting a bad reputation for skipping class.

He had been running on coffee for the last two hours but he felt the exhaustion finally get hold of him. He leaned back a bit more and continued studying his class as he started to slowly doze off. Irvine hadn't been lying, he noticed. The majority of the students here were actually female.

-Not a bad thing I suppose. -

The teacher had started his lecture about unimportant rules and regulations within Garden, things that Squall had actually been teaching himself at Balamb, and if it were up to him he wouldn't have even been there. But the new laws required him to follow these classes, wether he helped design them or not.

The two girls in front of him caught his attention as they started glancing back at him and began mumbling to one another. Couldn't they let a guy sleep in class in peace?

But then he saw what they were mumbling about. In front of them they had a copy of today's paper, with a huge photograph of him on its front page and with big bold letters below it:

"Mysterious meeting Caraway and Leonhart"

Great. just great. This was going to be a long day. He just knew it.

"It's him!" The girl on the left whispered a bit all too loud as she looked back at Squall yet again, startled to see him suddenly leaning so close to her.

"One more sound from you," He replied in a low voice, "...and you will instantly lose a good 8 kilograms off your neck."

Casually Squall leaned back against the wall again while tapping Lionheart next to him and closed his eyes, not waiting to see how they reacted. He didn't need to, the desired effect had been attained.

-That ought to shut them up for now. -

Not too long after that, squall dozed off.

The sound of rain crashing into the windows woke him up. It was raining? Since when? Maybe he should've checked the weather report when he had the chance. The sun had been shining all morning and there were almost no clouds in the sky. How on earth could it be raining now? He looked around the classroom and let his eyes adjust to the darkness. The lights were turned off, how long had he been asleep?

"What the..."

He glanced over at the windows. Was he even in the same classroom? He could've sworn the door and windows had switched places. And why the hell was it dark and raining all of a sudden? It all gave off a bit of an eerie feeling, it was like he woke up in an entirely different place. Was someone playing a joke on him?

He returned his gaze to the classroom and saw the silhouettes of the students in front of him, all sitting in a perfect straight position, facing the teacher's desk. The teacher... He strained his eyes to try and make out anything, but the shadows made it impossible to see if he was there or not. Instinctively Squall reached back for Lionheart, but he found nothing.

-How? I know I brought it with me. What's going on here? -

What felt like only moments ago, he had been sitting in a classroom, trying to ignore the mumblings of his fellow students. Now he was somewhere completely different, in an atmosphere that was making his skin crawl. He was surprised that there were no flashes of lightning and roaring thunder outside.

As if someone had read his mind, the entire room lit up for a split second. No thunder accompanied it though, and even if it had Squall would have never heard it. For what he saw made his heart skip a beat.

there was someone sitting at the teacher's desk, that was for sure. more like slumped over the desk, but that wasn't what made Squall jump up from his chair. What startled him were the silhouettes... the people in front of him, or the people he thought were in front of him. For that short moment that the room was lit up brightly by the lightning, they had vanished. He could see them sitting there clearly in the dark, but the light had made them look transparent.

-Ghosts? -

Squall shook his head and closed his eyes a good few seconds. This just had to be a dream.

-Get a grip Squall, you're seeing things. -

Confident that when he would open his eyes again he'd wake up, Squall took a deep breath before looking around the room again. He was still there. They were still there.

"Okay enough with this nonsense. what's going on here?"

His voice seemed to be absorbed into the darkness itself when he spoke, not even the slightest faint of an echo could be heard. Hearing no reply, he cautiously took a step to the front of the room, towards the teacher's desk. Taking notice of the shadows around him, but never taking his eyes off the dark corner he was headed for, Squall approached the desk. As he got closer he suddenly heard noises around him. The sound of clothes, fabric, people shifting in their seats.

He spun around and again made a futile attempt to grab Lionheart. The one who had taken away his gunblade would pay dearly when he got out of here. He swore it.

They were all looking at him. Squall's eyes darted around the room from shadow to shadow. The students, or whatever they were, while keeping their straight posture, had all turned to face him. Yet they remained unmoving. It was as if they weren't there, but he could clearly see them. And apparently they had taken notice of him as well. Was he losing his mind?

Seeing as they now all knew that he was there, and still hadn't attacked him yet, he assumed they weren't hostile. A slight comfort.

Turning his attention back to the teacher, Squall walked up to the desk and closely examined it. The teacher was resting his head on it. Was he resting? He certainly wasn't moving.

Then Squall noticed something. His neck... it was severed. Not only that, but Lionheart was sticking out from the back of it. Judging from the wound there should be a tremendous amount of blood, but there was none to be found.

-Who killed this man? Is he even dead? Who is it? -

The pace of his heart quickened again as he examined the man's head. He turned his head to the side to look at his face, and Squall's entire body froze. He knew this man.

"Seifer...?"

Suddenly the half-decapitated Seifer opened his eyes and spoke to him, causing Squall to stumble back and trip over a chair and hit his head on a desk, yelping in pain.

"My, my. We have a new student here today."

"...What?"

"Come on, don't be shy."

Squall opened his eyes to find the teacher grinning broadly at him. He wasn't that close, but already Squall could smell the cloud of cologne that enveloped the man. The combination of that and what had just happened made his stomach churn.

-So it was a dream. -

"All students attending at Garden are required to wear their uniform."

He stepped up and brushed against Squall's fur collar.

-Touch me again and lose your arm. -

"Why aren't you wearing yours?"

-I'm your freaking boss, what the hell do you think? -

"...Article 15, section 6, subsection B."

Squall pointed at a copy of the SeeD lawbook that was on the teacher's desk and adjusted his jacket, strengthening his point, followed by mumbling and snickering throughout the classroom as the teacher started fidgetting through the book, looking for the article.

While the man was reading through it for a couple of moments, Squall patiently awaited his reply, feeling the eyes of the people around fixed on him. Somehow it felt pleasant, as opposed to the effect the shadows from his dream just had. He quickly glanced outside to make sure the sun was still shining. He wasn't going crazy just yet.

"I see you know your way around the lawbook." The teacher snickered at him, still confident he could take him.

-I should, I wrote half the damn thing. -

"So... what? You're saying you're a graduate then?"

"Something like that."

"If that is true, then what are you doing in this class?"

"Article 32. But I would read it another time if I were you. it covers 129 pages."

The entire class was now talking aloud and glancing over at them. This new kid on the block was their new source of entertainment. The girl in front of him looked back at him again, and Squall gave her a menacing look that could've halted a stampeding herde of Behemoths.

The smug grin that had been present on the teachers face faded as he found the article in question. He had placed this boy all wrong in his mind.

"You are the commander?" He managed to stutter and looked up from his book as the buzzer went off, signaling the end of the period. Squall returned his look with an icy gaze, annoyed that by now the entire class knew who he was. As quickly as possible he made is escape, avoiding eyecontact with anyone as he left the room, leaving a baffled teacher behind him, along with a rather excited classroom.

He had to find Seifer. He was starting to dream about his death now. The sooner he found him the better.

But around the corner he was halted by a young girl.

"Commander?"

"What?" He snapped back at her, attempting to walk past her. She blocked his path.

"I need to speak with you sir."

"I'm busy." He shoved her aside and started off down the hallway. There was no time for idle chat, he had been stalled enough already. However, her next remark made him spin around.

"It's about Seifer."

A/N: The dream Squall had is an idea I got from a nightmare I myself had once. Without Seifer and lionheart of course, but with those people looking at me. Scariest thing of all was, they had no eyes, just two black holes, and they all wore marks and wounds, wounds bad enough to kill them. but there was no blood. 'twas scawy indeed ;;