Troubled Past

Disclaimer: I do not own incredibly much.

orlin: Yes I knew I'd get a few 'poor Jamie's' out of you in this story.

Goddess of Gorgeousness: Do I really add unexpected twists to things?

RoschLupin-Black: Aw now spelling it out would be giving it all away, you'll have to keep reading to find out about James :-P

BabyBoo0968: You guessed right…unfortunately :-P

inumoon3: James was not raped by a Slytherin. But you'll have to wait and see how it is found out…

CrazyForYou: Thanks for reviewing!

Alligator355: Glad you like it!

Marauder-Magick33: You'll have to wait and see who knocked him up.

EsScaper: Only Dumbledore, James and James' grandparents know who Harry is, and no the James/Lily relationship doesn't warrant a child because there is no James/Lily in this story. Where did Harry come from? You'll just have to wait and see.

Dasai-Konomi: Glad you like secrety stuff!

iamtherealmaverick: Who was it? Wait and see…

the-mpreg-spirit: Sure!

Ginny-and-Draco-fan: It probably is easy to guess what's wrong with James.

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Chapter 2: Interrogation

Before James had realised it, it was his fourth day of classes back at Hogwarts. He was currently sitting at Gryffindor Table with his friends for breakfast, reading a letter that he had just received from his gran along with a parcel full of sweets.

"Hey, Jay?"

James looked up at Sirius who was sitting opposite him, "Yeah?"

Sirius spoke as he piled bacon and scrambled eggs onto his plate; "Do you want to join back up with the Quidditch team?"

James raised his eyebrows; he had been called one of the best Quidditch Chasers Gryffindor had seen in a long time when he was last at the school. Quidditch was one thing he had truly missed while he was away. "Are you short a player?"

Sirius nodded, "One of our Chasers left last year, you up for it?"

"Yeah sure," replied James, he folded up his letter and tucked it into a pocket in his robes. "I'm a bit rusty though, I haven't played since I was here last." He had loved flying, on more than one occasion he had been told that he must have been born on a broom because he was such a natural when it came to flying. It was actually his grandfather that had taught him how to fly and how to play Quidditch, but then he had been mostly raised by his grandparents except at the times that his parents decided to spend some 'quality time' with their only son.

Sirius shrugged, "Well, we can go out on the pitch this weekend, I've already booked it. I can help you get back into practise."

James nodded, "Ok, thanks," Sirius still had not stopped questioning him about why he had left and why he was gone for so long, and things were already starting to get a bit tense in the Gryffindor Seventh Year Boys' dormitory. Remus was now trying to mediate the two old friends but it wasn't working that well, and just last night Sirius and James had had an argument. But this morning they were both trying to pretend that nothing had happened, though it was obvious to onlookers that there was a bit of tension between the two raven haired boys. "…So you're the captain, I take it?"

"Mmhmm," Sirius elbowed Remus in the ribs to stop him from falling asleep. "Made captain last year."

James nodded slowly, when he was younger he used to dream of becoming the Quidditch Captain for his House team, as well as becoming Head Boy, but now Sirius had gained the Team Captain spot and Remus had become Head Boy. He was happy for them but there was also a bit of jealousy there, he wished he had been able to have the chance to fight for those titles. The only person he could blame for taking that chance away from him was his father, and only his father. His grandparents said it and he felt exactly the same, it definitely wasn't little Harry's fault. Never Harry's fault.

Remus yawned widely, he was absolutely terrible in the mornings, and if he weren't still half-asleep then he would be very snappish towards everyone until about lunchtime. "What have we got first?"

James checked his timetable, "Eh…Double Transfiguration and then Potions," he noticed Sirius giving him a funny look, and he knew why. He never used to know their lesson timetable, it used to only be Remus that was that concerned with school.

Very soon the three boys were seated in Transfiguration, James next to Sirius at the back of the classroom, and they were half listening to McGonagall give them a lecture. Well, Sirius was doodling on a piece of parchment, Remus was yawning every now and again and trying to take notes while James was, for once, vigilantly taking down every note he could.

James felt a nudge against his side and then he saw Sirius push a note over to him, he sighed and picked it up. Trust Sirius to do something like this to try and get the 'old James' back.

Very attentive now, aren't we, Potter?

James chanced a glance at Sirius who was watching him intently, those grey eyes calculating him suspiciously. He put his quill to the parchment and scribbled a quick note back.

Unlike some, I would like to actually graduate from school.

He heard Sirius give a snort upon reading his reply and a few seconds later another reply came.

You really have changed you little do-gooder.

James gazed at the note for a moment, he had been hoping that perhaps Sirius would be understanding towards him but obviously that was not going to happen. He glanced sadly at Sirius who was still watching him before he went back to his work, resting his head on his hand so that Sirius couldn't see his face. He did however scribble a quick reply back to Sirius, and he was finding it hard not to cry, but then he had been overly emotional ever since Harry had come along.

I'm sorry, Siri.

…

By the time the boys (minus Peter who didn't take NEWT level Potions) were heading down to the dungeons for potions Remus could tell there was something wrong with both Sirius and James. Sirius was frowning and he looked very deep in thought, barely noticing where his boyfriend was leading him – while James looked extremely miserable and on the verge of tears, which probably wasn't good as they were about to enter the potions classroom.

"Ha, can't believe your still showing your face around here, Potter," said one of the Slytherin boys from where they were waiting outside the locked potions classroom. "Shouldn't you be running back off to daddy?"

Sirius raised his eyebrows upon noticing just how much James flinched when the word 'daddy' was said. "Why don't you go find an inanimate object to shag, Nott."

Robert Nott sneered at Sirius, "Sticking up for your new toy, Sirius? My, my, does he come with baggage," he smirked cruelly at James who was trying to shrink into nothingness now.

"What the hell are you talking about, Nott?" snapped Sirius, his own sneer in place now.

The other Slytherins started murmuring amongst themselves and snickering as Nott continued talking, "Oh dear me, has he not told you, Sirius? Why, young James here-" he stopped talking abruptly when the classroom door opened.

"Get in there, the lot of you," said Professor Malfoy, he leaned against the wall beside the door as the students started filing in. When the line finally got to James, who was at the back, he stuck an arm out to stop the boy from going straight in. "I'd like a word with you after a class, Potter."

James nodded silently before ducking under Malfoy's arm and entering the classroom. He sat down at the back next to Remus who was between himself and Sirius, and he silently got his things out of his bag, determinedly keeping his eyes away from anyone's faces. A lot of people had heard what Nott was saying and he refused to let that Slytherin get the upper hand. But what was even more upsetting to him was the fact that the Slytherins all seemed to know something, it couldn't have just been by chance that Nott had mentioned his father like that.

"Right, the instructions are on the board. You have until the end of class to complete this potion, at which time I want a sample of each of your potions on my desk," said Professor Malfoy, he scanned the class briefly through narrowed silvery eyes before turning and sitting down at his desk.

Once the talking started up again and all the students set to making their potions Remus spoke quietly to James, "Are you all right?"

James continued to keep his gaze averted from either of his friends as he copied down the instructions for their potion, "I'm fine."

Remus frowned a little, he knew Sirius was straining to hear what James was saying as well, "You don't look it, James, do you know how pale you are now?"

James shrugged, "I'm fine, Remus, just leave it."

Remus sighed, he continued watching James for a few moments before turning to Sirius worriedly. His boyfriend's face was mirroring his own, James' reaction to Nott's comments had been very severe and they both silently agreed to find out what was wrong with James.

James chewed his bottom lip nervously, he could feel the eyes of several people glancing at him every now and again, but he forced himself to ignore that and what had happened out in the corridor.

A little while later, James had started glancing up at Professor Malfoy every now and again, the teacher had caught him looking on two occasions and James was almost positive that he had seen the glimmer of a smile on the man's face.

Now, James had never considered himself to be gay or even bisexual but he could certainly see the appeal in Lucius Malfoy. The man was undeniably very good looking, with his flawless pale skin and high cheekbones, those intense silvery eyes and especially that shoulder length white-blond hair. James felt that if he were to go after a man, Lucius Malfoy would probably be the holder of his affections. But he couldn't really think about his love life (or lack thereof) at the moment, there were more important things on his mind.

Finally though, class finished and James waited back like Malfoy had told him to, "Did I do something, sir?"

Malfoy indicated for him to come up to the desk, so James did, "No, guilty conscience?"

James shifted nervously on the spot, "I didn't think I'd done anything…"

"You haven't," reassured Malfoy, he pulled two flasks out of one of his desk drawers. "This one," he held up the bigger of the two flasks, "Is some more Dreamless Sleep Potion, as there was not much in the flask I gave you at the beginning of the term. And this one," he pointed to the smaller flask, "is a Nerve Calming Solution, I made this because it seems that you are very skittish right now."

James nodded, it was true, but he couldn't help it, especially now when he thought that his secret could be let out. "Thank you, professor," he tucked the two flasks inside his bag. "I appreciate it."

………

By that weekend James had suffered several more taunts from the Slytherins, though none of them had actually said exactly what James' secret was they were certainly giving a lot of hints. Any bright Hogwarts student would be able to put two and two together eventually, he just hoped that no one cared enough to do that.

………

James was laying on his bed in the dormitory staring up at the scarlet canopy over his bed one Saturday night a fortnight after the term had started. He was absolutely miserable, he didn't know how much longer he could suffer the jibes of the Slytherins, and he didn't know how much longer his secret would stay secret. Sirius was extremely suspicious now, he was asking questions at very random moments hoping to trick James into giving an answer other than 'None of your business'.

He sighed and sniffed, he wanted to go back home to his grandparents' house. He wanted to spend the evenings talking with them, or playing with Harry or his dog. He really missed Harry, he had never spent so much time away from the child, and he also missed his dog, Butterscotch, as well.

After a little while longer of stewing on his own, James heard the dormitory door open and close and then he heard someone mutter a locking a charm on it.

"James, talk to us."

James sighed; he had been half expecting an interrogation for a while now, "Talk about what?"

Sirius sat down on the end of his friend's bed, "You know about what. What are the Slytherins talking about? Obviously it is something that you don't want anybody to know about, judging by your reactions to them…" he watched James for a moment. "Please James, we want to help."

Sirius sounded extremely sincere but James still wasn't sure he wanted to say anything, "There's nothing you could do…"

Remus sat down on the bed as well; "You can still talk to us though, I mean, Peter isn't here because he didn't want to be around in case you and Siri started arguing again." James stayed silent and brooding. "…Why do the Slytherins keep making these cracks about your father? What did he do?"

James finally sat up, there were unshed tears in his eyes, he pulled his knees up to his chest and gazed down at the bit of bed between him and his friends, "You really want to know?" he spoke so quietly that the other two boys nearly missed it.

Sirius sat up straight, almost like he was on the alert, "Yes, we do." Remus nodded in agreement.

James looked between his best friends for a few moments, noting the curious and concerned looks on their eyes, before averting his gaze once again. It took a few more minutes for him to finally pluck up the courage to start his story, "…The reason I was taken out of school at the beginning of fifth year is because…m-my father…h-he raped me," Sirius' mouth dropped open. "…He got me pregnant…"

Sirius and Remus both sat there in stunned silence, their mouths hanging open and their eyes wide with shock.

To Be Continued…

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A/N: Happened a little quicker than expected but that's the way I write it.

Next Chapter: James' Story. And will the Slytherins finally spill everything that they know?