Disclaimer: Own nothing.

A/N: This is my first fan fiction piece, as cliché as it sounds. I had never really planned on writing one, even though I really love to read them. But then, this idea popped in my head when I was reading some quotes for an essay I was writing. After that, I had to write it. So I thank everyone who takes the time to read this piece. Reviews are completely appreciated, even if it's constructive criticism. This piece takes place after Lorelai breaks off the engagement to Max. It's all about Lorelai and her struggles to find peace with her parents, her middle in life, and a complete happiness. It's about Lorelai's growth as a person. (Also, some Luke/Lorelai parings-as you would probably be able to guess after chapter 1-but that's not the main focus.)

Inspiration: "There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered." –Nelson Mandela

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As I stood outside the door, all I could think of was how much I did not want to enter that house. I couldn't believe Rory had left me to fend for myself this Friday night dinner with my parents. While I continued to procrastinate my entrance, I thought about this house. How this house, even after sixteen years, has never been 'home'. After all this time of regular visits on Friday nights, it still brings back the dark memories of my adolescence. The house almost seems to grow bigger and darker with my every visit. Without Rory as my shield, the house has an even more terrible effect on me. Every hurt and pain I have felt in my entire life seems to be on my shoulders now. I will never be good enough, successful enough, or even acceptable enough for them. The house, even just in its visual image, is a constant reminder of that. Never could I have grown up here. I needed to have Rory and 'screw' up my life in order to mature. I really did grow up with my daughter. We truly grew up together. How anyone ever grows up in this high society, I don't know. But some do. I never could, I had to leave. If only I could get them to understand. I would've continued being sixteen forever if I hadn't left. Christopher did. It seems awful that I think of my daughter's father as being sixteen. It's awful that it makes me nervous that I sent Rory to Boston for a weekend to stay with him. I mean, he's her father. But Rory has always been more mature than he has. I'll always believe it's because he stayed in that society, always trying to find a spot to belong. I'll never know for sure, but I do know that high society life was never for Chris and me. I slammed the rest of my coffee and thought "here's to a night from hell" as I rang the doorbell.

The maid took my jacket and ushered me into the living room where my darling parents were already entertaining a guest. A male guest, that just so happens to be around my age. Why am I not surprised? All I could do was stand there and stare unbelievingly. No one even noticed my Boo Radley moment. I mean, not they've never set me up before, I just figured that even Emily Gilmore had to have a breaking point somewhere. I felt anger searing in my chest. I tried to remain calm and assure myself that this was just some coincidence and that my mother was not trying to set me up once again. Finally my mother turned to me as I cleared my throat. She muttered "Oh, hello there, Lorelai, how was the traffic?" Oy, my mother and her traffic. Someday I swear she's gonna work for traffic control or something. I managed to reply "traffic was fine, mother. Now who might this charming young man be?" I was almost surprised by how much sarcasm I could lace in my voice, almost. My father went on to explain how James Nicolas Adams-Hobart was a son of one of my fathers several business partners. I think someone should draft a law that my father can only have partners that have no children or only girls. Although then my parents would probably still try to set me up with one of the daughters. It would probably still be a step above me choosing my own man. Gosh forbid I do that. I realized that I had no idea what had been said for the past 10 minutes. I listened and realized that all they had been 'chatting' about was economic pros and cons of investing in such and such companies. Oy, a recording of this would really come in handy on those nights when I can't fall asleep. I almost couldn't even be mad at my parents. I should have expected this, I mean Rory's in Boston-leaving myself alone, all my parents can think about is making something of this life I've destroyed. I've almost reached the point of numbness with them. And of course the guy would have to be some high society jerk. I mean, the guy is even too good to have just one last name. Why does everyone even marginally important have to have two last names? Can't they just be satisfied with one? I could not wait until dinner is over. My parents are going to be sorry this time. I have to get it through to them that they officially stopped controlling my life when I left with Rory. The minute James what's-his-face left the room some spark ignited in me.

"HOW DARE YOU TWO! How dare you try and set me up AGAIN! Do you even realize that I am 32 years old and fully capable of choosing my own men to date? And I can tell you; He will not be from this world. I am not cut out for this life; I don't want this life. I ran away at 16 for a reason. I had a reason, it doesn't matter that you couldn't understand it, it was still there." I listened to myself break down. So much for numbness. I don't think I'll ever be numb with them. They're my parents and it hurts too much; Although, I'll never let that on to another soul. Not even my kid.

I watched my father's face turn bright red. That's funny usually it's mom that explodes. "Lorelai Victoria Gilmore II, don't you dare attack me or your mother for doing what is best for you. We have always tried to step in and prevent you from furthering the black hole of your life. It is our job as your parents to do what is needed, and this was needed. You have proven to us both time and time again that you cannot pick out a suitable man. And when you finally do chose someone acceptable, you break it off. And if you can not do it, we will do it for you. And you will not argue. You have ruined this family name. Your mother and I are simply trying to restore some respectability to the Gilmore name you annihilated when you went and got knocked up at sixteen. And again when you broke off the engagement to Max. You were supposed to be more than this. You were destined for Yale. Yale, Lorelai, Yale. And you would've made it too. You were always the brightest in your class, always. You will not blame us for helping you find a suitable spouse."

Ouch, Max was a low blow, even for my father. Wow. I'm really glad Rory does not see this side of them. "It was never me, dad, never. I've always needed to find the world on my own. What I've found so far is great. I need to finish this process on my own." I could hear the tears brimming under my shaky voice. I hate that they can see themselves breaking me down. How did I get parents that lack the parenting gene? No parent is supposed to enjoy tearing his or her child apart.

My mother turned to me, and I thought, yup, now it's her turn to attack. "That is not true, Lorelai. You haven't taken one part of this journey alone. Rory, Sookie, Luke, they've always been allowed to give help. No, Lorelai, the only people who you've needed to separate from is us, your parents."

True. How do I even argue that? Maybe with more truth. "You've always tried to turn me into someone I'm not. I could never trust your help mom. It always felt like it was just another plan to turn me into a Stepford wife. I love the life I've made for myself, mom. I love this life so much that I wasn't even willing to change it for Max. I need to receive help from those I know are not just trying to squeeze me into a mold."

I made my way towards the door during this talk. I turned the doorknob and closed the door behind me. All of a sudden, I felt the Niagara Falls cascading down my face. I had held them off as long as possible. I opened the car door; I wanted out of this place as quickly as possible. It figures that tonight would be the night the damn car won't start. I made my way back to the door. Fuck, I hated depending on my parents. I rang the doorbell, what choice did I have? When mom answered the door, I walked past her briskly; I did not want her to see my tears. I managed to get out, "I'm staying here tonight." I went up the stairs to my old room and slammed the door. I looked around the room, which was as completely not me as a room could get. "Even then, they were trying to constrict me," I whispered. I felt so completely oppressed, like I was sixteen again. My cell phone began vibrating in my pocket. I decided to check and see who it was just in case it was important, maybe it was Rory. Who else would call at 10:30 at night? Luke's Diner. I hadn't really planned on answering, but it was Luke. I usually stopped by the diner on Friday nights after dinner. He was probably worried that I hadn't showed. We had joked about it this morning. When I answered I could still hear my voice shaking.

"Lorelai, are you okay?" I managed to let a smile slip onto my face. Luke has always been so concerned about me. I feel safe when I'm around him.

"Yeah, just the side effects of another Friday night dinner with the Gilmores. Tonight that was topped with a blind date and dead car. So I'm really getting lucky."

"Oh, so you probably wont make it to the diner tonight then. Hey, do you want me to come get you? The last thing you must need is more time at that house. Then I'll go fix your car tomorrow or send Gypsy to do it."

"Luke, are you sure you can drive out to Hartford tonight? It's pretty late."

"Lore, its no problem. You need to get out of there. I can understand that. Plus, you have to work tomorrow."

"Thank you Luke. I promise I will make it up to you. See you in a few Luke."

I'm really lucky despite my parent's shortcomings. Because where they fall short, is definitely made up for in friends. Friends like Luke who is always there for me, friends that will always have my back. I hope I do the same for them.