Troubled Past
Disclaimer: I do not own incredibly much, except Henry and Elizabeth Potter.
Thank yous: the-mpreg-spirit, inumoon3, Launigsiae, Sarahamanda, orlin, Alligator355, BabyBoo0968, redrose2310, catseye348, Ginny-and-Draco-fan, iamtherealmaverick, CountingSheep123, im no muggle, and Goddess of Gorgeousness.
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…(Hides from the angry James Fan mob)… Sorry?
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On a good note, the Half-Blood Prince will be released on the 16th of July, 2005.
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Chapter 4: Infront of the Fire
It was getting late the same night that the Slytherins had put the banner in the Great Hall up. After the teachers had arrived in the hall for dinner, they had gotten rid of it and immediately put the whole of Slytherin House in detention because nobody would own up to it. After dinner Sirius and Remus, with the help of McGonagall, Malfoy and Lily Evans, went searching for James, but none of them had found him. Sirius and Remus had searched their magical map of the school and its grounds to find him but he hadn't shown up on there either, and as far as they knew, there was no way to stop yourself from showing up on it.
Sirius collapsed on the couch in the empty Gryffindor Common Room just after midnight, he rested his head on Remus's lap and sighed. "Where do you think he could be?"
"I have no idea…" replied Remus as he started threading his fingers gently through Sirius's dark hair. "I'm really worried now."
"Me too," Sirius was about to say something else when someone from behind the couch cleared their throat.
"Do you two mind telling me what that was all about?" Lily Evans came around the couch and sat down in an armchair. She had tried asking them both earlier but they wouldn't tell her.
Sirius grumbled and sat up, "You're not going to leave us alone until we do, are you?"
Lily frowned, "Well obviously something happened to him to make him leave school at the beginning of fifth year, and I've been watching him since school started and he has changed. He's nervous, he looks permanently spooked, he's so quiet and shy all of a sudden, and he flinches and looks close to tears every time the Slytherins make jokes about his father." She looked between Remus and Sirius. "I want to help."
Sirius sighed, he looked to Remus who nodded before turning back to Lily, "Move closer, so we don't have to talk so loud," Lily pulled her armchair closer to the two of them. "First off, James has had a shitty life…"
And for the next hour Remus and Sirius both retold the story James had told them to Lily, who if possible, had gone even paler than she naturally was. By the time they had finished, Sirius was practically steaming from the anger that had built up in him again, Remus looked disgusted and Lily looked like she was about to throw up.
"…That sick bastard…" Lily put her hand up to her mouth, her green eyes wide with shock at what she had just heard.
Remus nodded in agreement, "And he still hasn't been brought to justice."
Lily slouched in her chair and pulled her dressing gown tighter around herself, "I can't believe it…he always used to be so happy, yet he was hiding all of that…"
"Yeah," Sirius nodded, "And now he's run off and we have no idea where he could have gone. Malfoy and McGonagall are still out looking, they sent us back here because we're not allowed outside school grounds."
"Does Peter know?"
Sirius shook his head, "No he doesn't. He's iffy enough as it is with me and Rem being together, I doubt he'd be able to handle James's true past."
Lily wrinkled her nose in disgust, "And his mother didn't do anything to stop it?"
"Apparently not," replied Remus quietly. "I think his grandparents only found out after his was taken out of school, right?"
"Yeah, from what I gather," Sirius stifled a big yawn.
Lily frowned, "We should all get some sleep. We're not going to be any use to anyone if we're all too tired to continue looking for James tomorrow, if he hasn't returned by then."
"You're right."
…
After James had fled the Great Hall, he had gotten his Invisibility Cloak from the dormitory and then he had run out of the school. He did not want to be found, not now, now that everyone knew. He just could not face anybody, they would all hate him, he just knew they would.
James was sitting under his Invisibility Cloak on a hill outside of Hogsmeade, gazing up the stars and trying not to cry. He didn't know what to do, should he go back to the school or should he just run as far away as he can? Right now, he was also completely confused as to whether he should stay at the school or go home as well. If he stayed he would be picked on even more, if he left then the Slytherins would know that they had frightened him off, they would insult him even without him being around.
What was there that was really keeping him at Hogwarts anyway? Sure, he had fun with his friends, he was happy to be back around them and it was a bit easier to learn with other people around as well. But that was all really, wasn't it?
No, there was Lucius Malfoy as well.
James couldn't help but watch that man in potions, at mealtimes and even just when the blond was wandering absentmindedly around the school. Remus had noticed James staring and he said that he looked very 'love struck'. He couldn't help but think that Remus was right.
Was he really falling for Professor Lucius Malfoy?
………
By three in the morning, Lucius and Minerva had given up their search and traipsed back to the staffroom where Dumbledore was currently at.
"Any luck?"
Lucius fell down into an armchair and closed his eyes, "None. Looked everywhere."
Minerva sat down in her favourite chair and sighed, "The boy has just disappeared. Hagrid is searching the Forbidden Forest, I hope he hasn't gone in there, and we asked Rosmerta at the Three Broomsticks to ask around the all night punters to see if they had seen him. But you know how it is, Albus, if he doesn't want to be found then he probably won't be."
"That is what worries me," said Dumbledore, he handed Lucius and Minerva a cup of hot chocolate each. "I have informed his grandparents of what happened, I expect a reply will be here by breakfast time."
"What makes me wonder," started Minerva almost coldly, "Is how the Slytherins found out about it in the first place."
"I am wondering that also," said Dumbledore in agreement.
Lucius huffed, "It wouldn't surprise me if that bastard bragged about it. If he is in with Voldemort like you think he is, then he probably promised James to the Death Eaters, after he had screwed the poor kid over, of course."
Dumbledore frowned a little; Lucius had been extremely spiteful ever since he had told the staff of James's predicament in the summer. Though it was understandable, Lucius himself, hadn't been treated too kindly by his own father, who did happen to be a Death Eater. He had noticed however, that his youngest teacher seemed to have taken quite a shine to young James Potter.
………
Lunchtime of the next day saw Sirius, Remus and Lily searching the school grounds for James again, while Dumbledore and McGonagall consoled James's grandparents in the Headmaster's office. Professor Malfoy was out searching the surrounding areas of Hogsmeade.
At breakfast that morning the whole school had been talking about the Slytherins' banner, and a lot of students had been trying to ask Sirius and Remus what they knew about it. Eventually Sirius and Remus had given up on trying to eat their breakfast and they had allowed Lily to drag them out of the Great Hall to the relative safety of the Hogwarts' Grounds.
Lily sat down on a rock beside the lake and sighed, "You know, I think if he really didn't want to be found he probably ran all night until he was a few miles away from this place. I know that's what I'd do…"
Sirius groaned and fell down on the rock; "You're not lessening my worry."
"Sorry."
Remus sat down and rested his head on Sirius's shoulder, "Merlin, I hope he comes back. I mean, he can't run forever, and he has Harry, the kid needs him."
Lily nodded in agreement, "I wonder if Professor Malfoy has had any luck," she looked over her shoulder towards the school gates where the blond professor had just come from. "There he is now."
The three of them got up and headed towards their professor, just as it started to rain.
"Any luck, Professor?" asked Lily hopefully.
Lucius raised an eyebrow, "Does it look like I have him with me?" he wasn't annoyed at the question, he was just very tired. He hadn't slept all last night, he had gone to bed at four in the morning and just lay staring at the canopy above his bed until breakfast time, all because he truly was worried about James. "I suppose he may come back in his own time. Now come on, inside, you three."
Sirius, Remus and Lily trudged into the Entrance Hall with the potions professor following.
Lucius headed straight to Dumbledore's office like he had been told to when he finished searching, though he hadn't finished, he had only come back to the school because he had been hungry. So the young teacher headed up to the Headmaster's office and knocked on the door, as soon as he was given a reply he entered.
"Ah Lucius, no luck?"
Lucius shook his head, "None. I've looked everywhere that I can think of in about a two-mile radius of this place," he glanced at the other occupants of the office, James's grandparents. The boy's grandmother however, was holding a small dark haired child. That must be James's son… "I'm going to go and look around again after I've had some lunch."
"Have these students been dealt with?" asked Henry, a frown planted firmly on his face, and he was holding his wife's hand.
Dumbledore nodded, "They have."
Lucius snorted, "Still think you should have let me kill them."
"Lucius is the Slytherin Head of House," said Dumbledore to the shocked looks of the Potters. "And from what I have been able to tell, he and James have been getting on quite well, have you not?"
Lucius nodded and stifled a yawn, "Yeah, we have been."
………
"Might as well face it, he's not coming back, is he?" said Sirius miserably late that night after dinner. He, Remus and Lily were in one corner of the common room with the Marauders' Map between them, and though Lily was usually very rule abiding, she couldn't help but be in awe of the map.
"We don't know that for sure, Sirius," replied Lily, she scanned the map around the Hogwarts lake and gasped suddenly. "There he is."
"What?" Remus and Sirius leaned over the map and looked to where Lily was pointing.
Sirius started to get up but Remus pulled him back down, "What are you doing?"
"Professor Malfoy will probably see him, he's just re-entered the grounds," said Remus, keeping a firm grip on Sirius's wrist. "Anyway, what's to say he actually wants to be found by us?"
Sirius sighed and slumped against his boyfriend, "Fine…"
…
Lucius had just returned from an evening of searching for James, he was cold, wet, tired and hungry and it didn't help that it had just started pouring with rain again. He trudged back across the Hogwarts grounds, gazing around as he went, he was so deep within his own thoughts that he nearly missed the figure over by the lake. He stopped and squinted at the person, he could just make them out in the half moon light, and there was definitely a lot of messy hair on top of that head. It was James. He knew it.
Lucius set off over the grounds to the lake, the hem of his robes and trousers were getting drenched from the boggy grass and he was starting to soak through from the rain. As he neared the young man sitting on a rock beside the lake, he could see him shaking either from the cold or his misery. He soon stopped just behind the boy and spoke, "James."
James jumped and spun around, he hadn't realised there was anybody behind him, "…P-professor…" he was wet and he was absolutely freezing but he refused to go inside, he just knew there would be someone around to taunt him.
Lucius shook his head slowly, "Where the hell have you been? Do you have any idea the worry you have put us all through?"
James shrugged a little and sniffled, "W-what do you care? N-no one does…"
Lucius swore quietly, "Oh Merlin, just come inside."
"No."
Lucius narrowed his eyes slightly, why were Gryffindors always so bloody stubborn? "Do not make me use force, James."
James stayed determinedly sat on the big rock, shivering with his arms wrapped around himself, "I'm not g-going in…"
Lucius growled quietly, he did not like being disobeyed. He grabbed James by the arms and pulled the boy up, before almost bodily dragging him towards the school, protesting loudly.
"Let go of me!"
"Don't be so stupid," snapped Lucius, a tight grip on one of James's arms. "You are going to catch your death out here."
James finally managed to break free of his professor's grip by the time that they had reached the huge entrance doors at the top of the stone steps. "…I'm not going in…I-I can't f-face it…"
Lucius sighed and surveyed the boy before him. James looked very pale, his black hair flattened against his head from the wet, he was shaking and there were obvious tears in his brown eyes. "All right, come down to my quarters so that we can at least get you dry."
James sniffled and nodded his head shakily, "O-ok…"
Lucius pushed the doors open and pushed James into the entrance hall. He then put a hand on James's back and led him down into the dungeons to his quarters, which were adjacent to his office. Once they were in the living room of his quarters where the fire was roaring with life (Lucius was thankful the school had House-elves) he turned to James, "Strip off."
"What?"
Lucius rolled his eyes, "You are not going to get any warmer if you keep those clothes on. I won't look if it bothers you." He headed off into his bathroom and grabbed a couple of towels then he grabbed a spare blanket from the bedroom and took them back out to James who had heeded his advice and stripped down to his boxers. He crouched down in front of the boy, who was sitting on the hearth shivering in front of the fire, and draped a towel around his shoulders.
"Th-thank you…" James pulled the towel tightly around himself and allowed his professor to wrap the blanket around him as well.
"No problem."
James took his glasses off and wiped the film of water off them, "W-why are you being so nice to me?"
Lucius raised his eyebrows slightly, he pulled a footrest over in front of the fire and sat down on it in front of James, "Trust me, I wouldn't be doing this if I didn't like you."
James was still shivering despite the fact that he was barely a foot away from the roaring fire in his potion professor's quarters, "Not many ex-Slytherins would be this nice to someone that they used to take points from for their general existence."
Lucius smirked, "Well, I will admit I was an absolute prat in my seventh year here," James gave a shaky smile. "Anyway, you know you are going to have to face everyone sooner or later, don't you?"
James looked down at the ground between them, "…I can't…th-they'll make fun of me…"
Lucius sighed and moved down onto the hearth next to James, he was still in his wet clothes but they were starting to dry out now he was in front of the fire, "James, you can't stay in here forever." James shrugged. "You're grandparents are here, you know? Dumbledore owled them last night and they were here by breakfast time, they are incredibly worried about you."
"They can take me home then…" James's voice broke half way through his sentence and then he felt the tears start to fall again.
Lucius went almost completely against what his mind was telling him and he pulled James into his arms, he couldn't just let the boy cry on his own now could he? He pulled James against him and rested his chin on top of the teenager's head, "Sh, its ok…" Honestly, what did you say to a crying teenage boy that's been through as much as James has? Lucius certainly wasn't sure, he had never had to console someone like this before, and he had certainly never been comforted by anybody after his childhood traumas. What Lucius really wanted to do was the hold James and to kiss his worries away…
Where the hell did that come from? Thought Lucius in surprise at his own feelings. Sure, James was certainly an intelligent and attractive young man, and his dramatic past was rather appealing to Lucius for some bizarre reason, but the boy was his student. His barely seventeen-year-old student, who had been through a lot and probably did not want to be molested by his potions professor.
Instead, Lucius settled for tentatively running his fingers through James's damp black hair and rubbing the boy's back, vaguely hoping that he wouldn't do something stupid to jeopardise James's trust in him.
…
Sirius was staring blankly at the Marauders' Map, "Where has he taken James and why are they so close together?"
Remus shrugged unhelpfully, "I have no idea."
"Maybe professor Malfoy is just trying to comfort him?" suggested Lily uncertainly. "I mean, he wouldn't do anything else, would he?"
"Of course he wouldn't," replied Remus dismissively.
"Better not or I'll kill him," grumbled Sirius, narrowing his grey eyes at the dot on the map that said 'Lucius Malfoy'.
…
Once James had calmed down a bit, around midnight, Lucius pulled away slightly so that he could see the boy's tearstained face, "Are you hungry?"
James sniffed and wiped his eyes before nodding, "Yeah…"
"Ok. Iggy!" Lucius called the Hogwarts house-elf that he was the most familiar with, within seconds the small creature in a toga with the Hogwarts crest on appeared in front of them.
"Yes professor sir?"
"Get James whatever it is that he wants, and then stay with him until I come back from the Headmaster's office." Iggy nodded her head enthusiastically. Lucius looked back to James, "Will you be all right while I go and speak with the
Headmaster?"
James nodded, "Will he make me go back to my dorm?"
Lucius frowned a little, "Would you rather I tell him that you don't want to see anyone else for the evening?"
"Please."
"Ok," Lucius untangled himself from James's body and got back to his feet, "I'll be back soon." With that he left his quarters and headed up to Dumbledore's office, where he could hear voices from inside upon nearing it. He knocked tentatively on the door and waited for a reply before entering. Upon entering he could see that James's grandparents were extremely irritated now.
"Any news, Lucius?"
Lucius nodded, "Yeah, I found James a little while ago nearly drowning in the rain." James's grandmother brightened up a little. "He um, he doesn't want to see anybody at the moment. I promised I'd let him stay down in my quarters for the night, if that's all right with you all?" So that was a bit of a lie but he really didn't think James was in a state to be around people that didn't understand at the moment, his Housemates mostly.
"Is he all right?" asked Elizabeth Potter anxiously.
Lucius nodded, "He's had a good cry and I've asked a house-elf to get him something to eat, he's still pretty set on going home as well, I think."
"As long as he's all right now," said Elizabeth sighing with relief. "Do you have any idea where he disappeared to?"
"In between the pleads to go home and the crying I haven't gotten much else out of him," replied Lucius, "I can try though."
"Might be best if you do," said Dumbledore, "Thank you for letting us know, Lucius."
Lucius gave a curt nod, "No problem,"
After Lucius had left Henry Potter spoke, "Is that one really a Malfoy?"
Dumbledore smiled and nodded, "Lucius is definitely a pleasant improvement on his father and older brother, I must say. I also think that James may benefit from talking with Lucius actually, neither of them have been treated kindly by their fathers, though James I am certain has suffered far more."
"Maybe it will be good for Jamie to speak with someone who understands what he has been through," said Elizabeth uncertainly. "So we will try and talk with him tomorrow, yes?"
"I should think so," agreed Dumbledore.
…
When Lucius got back to his quarters he found James curled up fast asleep on his couch with the blanket over him and Iggy watching over him. "Thank you for staying with him, Iggy."
"Iggy is glad to do it, sir," replied the little house-elf, as she hopped off the coffee table where James's untouched sandwich was sitting on a plate. "Master James was asleep when Iggy got back, sir."
"Ok," Lucius nodded and the house-elf disappeared with a 'pop'. He looked back to James who seemed to be sleeping quite peacefully, he went to his bedroom and found a spare quilt to throw over James just in case he got cold, which wouldn't surprising if he had spent the last twenty four hours out in the cold and rain.
The blond yawned and stretched, he was so tired and he knew he would have to be up before seven in the morning to carry out his usual daily routine, so he extinguished the torches in the living area and headed for bed.
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A/N: Your Christmas Present from Icarus! Don't worry, this is to show you that things are starting to look up for Jamie.
Next Chapter: James's grandparents stick around at school for a little while to make sure he is all right. And little Harry makes his first proper appearance!