Troubled Past

Disclaimer: There is very little that I own, though I wish Lucius were mine.

Thank yous: vytiri, EsScaper, orlin, RoschLupin-Black.

Vytiri: Will Lily be paired with anyone? Um…she may be paired with someone, and the only one I think that will be is Severus Snape. But possibly not before the end of this story, as there is not much left and I want to focus on Lucius and James more than everyone else.

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Chapter 8: Talk to Me

School had been back for a week now and James was no closer to having 'the talk' with Lucius about their relationship. However, the teenager had not had to drag the blond out of bed the day after arriving back at school as Lucius had dutifully gotten up and gone to breakfast after doing as James had wanted, and paying a visit to Madame Pomfrey. Other than classes, the two hadn't seen or spoken to each other, which upset James a little bit, because he was starting to think that he had done something wrong.

"James!"

James looked up from where he was doing his homework in a corner of the Gryffindor Common Room, "Yeah?"

"Quidditch practice! Now!" ordered Sirius for stomping out of the common room with his broom over his shoulder.

James rolled his eyes; he then went unhurriedly about putting his homework and everything away before grabbing his broom and his Quidditch robes. He then dawdled, taking his sweet time, towards the Quidditch Pitch only to walk straight into the blond of his affections, "Oh! Sorry!"

Lucius laughed and stood James right, "Don't worry; I wasn't watching where I was going."

"Neither was I," replied James, he inwardly cringed at how nervous his voice sounded. Well…this is awkward… "Um…I've got practice to get too."

"I have a staff meeting to get to," said Lucius, before James left he caught the boy's arm and lowered his voice, though there weren't many people around as it was still very cold outside. "Come to my quarters after dinner, we can talk then."

James nodded, "Ok, see you later."

"James! Get your arse over here NOW!"

Lucius smirked, "Better get going, he might hurt you."

James huffed, "You're the Professor; give him a detention or something."

…

"About bloody time!" snapped Sirius when James finally arrived at the Quidditch Pitch. "Get up there and do what I want you to do! …Don't roll your eyes at me, James!"

James laughed quietly, "Calm down, Si, we're not playing for another fortnight."

"We need to practice so we can win! Don't walk away from me, Potter!"

……

The end of dinner couldn't come soon enough for James, after he had finished and had seen Lucius leave the Great Hall; he quietly excused himself from his friends and headed down to the blond professor's quarters. After knocking he only had to wait a brief moment before he was let in, "Hi."

Lucius let the teenager in and indicated for him to sit down, "Drink?"

"Are we talking alcohol?"

Lucius snorted quietly, "No, James, I am afraid that would be illegal."

James sat down on the black leather couch and shrugged, "Worth a try," he accepted the drink Lucius handed him with a smile. "Thank you… Why have you been avoiding me this last week?"

Lucius frowned slightly and settled himself down in an armchair, "Sorry about that, I was…it was a test, so to speak."

"A test?"

Lucius gave a nod, "I was seeing if I could restrain myself around you, suffice it to say, it was a rather difficult task."

James raised his eyebrows, and widened his eyes in an attempt to look innocent, "What were you afraid of doing to me, Professor?"

Lucius raised an eyebrow, "The 'pure as the driven snow' look does not suit you, James," the teenager grinned. "Anyway-" he stopped when James interrupted him.

"Can I just say something?" Lucius indicated for him to go on. "I like you a lot. You're the only person that seems to understand me and you're the only person I know that isn't trying to suffocate me with affection. Over Christmas I got thinking and kind of hoping that you might feel the same way I do…"

Lucius got up from his armchair and moved onto the couch so that he was nearer to James, he ran a hand through the teenager's messy black hair, "Whether I feel the same way or not, and you know I do, nothing can happen. At least not for the next few months, there are far too many meddling fools in this school to allow us to get away with a relationship in privacy."

James nodded, he already knew this, Lucius had mentioned it a few times in their letters over the Christmas break, but hearing it now straight from the blond's mouth did upset him a bit. "Dumbledore doesn't seem to mind how close we are…"

Lucius smirked slightly, "Dumbledore knows all; he has probably harboured feelings for a student or two before, as well," James wrinkled his nose in a very cute look of disgust. "However, being that I am the adult here, he is probably hoping that I make sure we do not do anything that would jeopardise our current situations," he noticed the adorable pout forming on James's face. "Wouldn't you rather graduate and pass your NEWTs before jumping into a relationship?"

James gave a reluctant nod, "Yes, I know what I want."

Lucius continued running his fingers through James's mass of hair, "Do you?" he got an affronted scowl in reply. "I just know that at seventeen I was a confused mess, I still am at twenty three. You have a son to think about as well, anything you do until he is at least your age, is going to affect him."

James turned on the couch so that he was fully facing Lucius now, conscious of the hand still in his hair, "You must still be confused, now you sound like you don't want me."

Lucius sighed and dropped his hand from James's hair, "I do, James, believe me I do. I just want to make sure you're thinking this through properly."

"I have thought it through," replied James, though he was getting a bit confused now though. "I've been thinking it through ever since you saved me from those Slytherins back in October… I'll wait if I have to, but I don't want to," he finished in a small voice.

"I don't want to either, but its best if we do," Lucius then, despite his own slightly better judgement, leaned forward and brushed a kiss to James's left temple. "From what I've heard, your Potions NEWT is first so, technically, I am no longer your professor after that."

James gave a proper smile this time, "I could very well have gotten over you by then, you know, and moved on," he replied teasingly.

Lucius raised an eyebrow, "Is that so? I think you will find that as a Malfoy, I can rather linger on one's mind."

"I don't doubt," James leaned forward and wrapped his arms around the blond in a hug; he felt it returned after a few seconds. "Can I ask you something that you might not want to answer?"

"Go on…" answered Lucius curiously; he felt James move away from him again and saw a serious look pass across the boy's face.

James took a deep breath and then started, "When I came to see you the other night you were really hurt," he watched as Lucius's eyes clouded up slightly and the blond looked away. "What happened?"

"James-"

"Please? I want you to be able to talk to me," pried James, he even started to resort to the puppy eyes. "You know my big secret."

Lucius propped an elbow against the back of the couch they both occupied and rested his head on his hand; he took a few more moments to gather his thoughts, conscious all the while of the teenager intently watching him. "You remember you interrupted a conversation between myself and Dumbledore before you left for Christmas?" James nodded. The blond kept his eyes focussed on the ground. "He was asking if I would become a spy for him, with my family name and connections I would be well suited for it. However, becoming a spy for his Order of the Phoenix would mean winning back the trust of my family, and then if needs must, becoming one of the new Dark Lord's followers," he finally looked back to James to see the teenager's look of horror. "I am yet to take the Dark Mark but that could very well be in my future. There's some background information for you, anyway. About my injuries, that is what happens to the black sheep of the Malfoy family when he wants back in."

James chewed his bottom lip lightly, "Your father did that to you?"

Lucius inclined his head slightly, "Him and my brother."

"I thought your father was dead…"

The blond smirked and shook his head, "No, no, old Abraxas is very much alive. They decided I needed to be punished for deserting the family and then taking on such a 'lowly job' as teaching… I managed to win myself some brownie points though, by saying I took the job with the intent of spying on Dumbledore for the 'dark side'."

"And they believed you?"

"Barely, I still got the Cruciatus for my troubles." Those last words had barely made it out of the blond's mouth before he found a seventeen year old Gryffindor straddling his lap and seemingly trying to hug the life out of him. Though he had not wanted to get too close to James these next few months, Lucius allowed the hug and comfort, and returned it, resting his head against James's shoulder.

James continued to cuddle the blond as he spoke, "I had no idea how bad it was."

Lucius had his eyes closed as he replied, "What, my family?"

James pulled away enough so that he could see Lucius's face, and he saw those half closed silver eyes gaze back at him, "Well, yes, but I meant…this whole Dark Lord thing, I didn't think it was bad enough for Dumbledore to need spies..."

Lucius rested his hands on the teenager's waist, "It isn't at the moment, but the Dark Lord is rapidly gaining followers. I'm afraid we're probably going to be looking ahead to dark and difficult times."

James nervously bit his bottom lip again, "…I want you even more now, you realise?"

Lucius gave a shrug, an amused glint in his eyes, "I suppose I can't help it if you're still blinded."

"I suppose you can't," James found himself becoming entranced with those warm silver eyes, and though he knew they really shouldn't, especially while within the walls of the school, he leaned forward and brushed his lips against those of the blond. This kiss was different to the daring peck he had given Lucius a few weeks ago before Christmas, it was longer and the blond did not seem at all surprised this time, in fact, James felt himself being pulled closer as he opened his mouth to allow Lucius's tongue in.

All the warning sirens were going off in Lucius's head right now, he knew he really shouldn't be allowing this to happen but this was too sweet to pass up and they both wanted it. He moved a hand up to the back of James's head and deepened the kiss, drawing a lovely little moan out of the boy's throat, a noise he decided he wanted to hear more of in the future.

Finally though, Lucius broke the kiss and gazed at James who was looking back at him with something akin to wonder in his brown eyes. Lucius kept one arm around James and brought his other to the boy's face, he ran his thumb across James's full lower lip and smiled, "What did I say about waiting, Potter?"

James flicked his tongue out at the thumb that was still at his lips, "I didn't hear you complaining, Professor."

Lucius cupped James's face with both hands and kissed him again, "Maybe not, but we really should stop before go too far."

James hugged the blond again, "I had no intention of letting you shag me tonight, Mr. Malfoy."

Lucius laughed quietly, "I'm hurt, James, am I not good enough for you?" he felt a kiss to his neck. "I'm glad you think that way. I had no intention of getting you into my bed tonight, anyway."

James pulled away again and pouted, "Am I being rejected?"

"I would be a fool to reject you. I don't have people throwing themselves at me often."

James raised his eyebrows disbelievingly, "I find that hard to believe."

Lucius nodded, "It's true, I assure you, something about my family name puts most people off, including my own Slytherin kin."

James kissed him again, "Well, I'm not put off, and especially not by your family name."

Lucius smiled, "Good," he checked his watch. "I think maybe you should go, we don't want any suspicion."

James sighed and reluctantly extricated himself from Lucius's warm and inviting body, "Ok, can I come back tomorrow?"

Lucius shook his head, "I won't be here tomorrow, for the afternoon anyway. It seems I am popular enough with the family to be invited for Sunday lunch again."

"All right," James got to his feet and before bidding his farewell, he kissed Lucius again; he loved that mouth. "Goodnight."

Lucius watched James as he headed for the door, a faint smile on his handsome face, "Goodnight."

…

"Took your time," said Sirius when James plopped down beside Lily at the table she was sharing with Sirius and Remus.

James smiled serenely, "Yeah…"

Lily raised an eyebrow at him, looking very unimpressed, "You were out after curfew, that deserves point deduction."

James gave the feisty redhead the puppy and kissed her on the cheek, "You'll forgive me, won't you?"

Lily turned away from the almost irresistible puppy eyes, "Fine, but just this once. Use your Invisibility Cloak next time, if you don't want to be caught."

Sirius looked highly offended across the table, "Why do you let him get away with that and not me? My own boyfriend doesn't even let me get away with it."

Lily laughed, "Well that is between you and Rem," Remus grinned. "As for me letting James off and not you, well," she patted James on an arm. "He's cute and pleasant, you're not."

"I'm not cute?"

"You're cute, yes," replied Lily, "But not at all pleasant."

Sirius pouted, "Remus, why aren't you defending me?"

Remus chewed on a sugarquill and continued scribbling answers down to their Transfiguration homework, "Because you can defend yourself, and I am doing your homework for you."

"Fair point," Sirius shrugged and looked back to James, lowering his voice as he spoke. "So… Malfoy a good kisser or not?"

James grinned, "Oh yes, very promising."

…

James lay awake in his bed early the next morning, staring up at the canopy; he was thinking about what Lucius had said about the Dark Lord, about how he was not yet the threat that he could be. Dumbledore wanted Lucius to become a spy for him… This Dark Lord was gaining power and supporters… Abraxas Malfoy was at one with beating the shit out of his son…just like James's own father… Was Dumbledore's side gaining any support? Would Lucius have to become a Death Eater? Would Harry have to be brought up during a war?

James rolled onto his side and closed his eyes; he was inclined to believe what the blond had told him…

Dark and difficult times were ahead.

………

Three days later when James was sitting at breakfast, munching on some toast, one of the school owls plopped down on the table next to his plate and stuck its leg out.

"Isn't that a school owl?"

James glanced at Lily; "Yeah…" he turned back to the owl and untied the piece of parchment from its leg and it then took flight again. He frowned as he unrolled it, he hadn't been expecting anything from anyone, and especially not from someone inside the school; Lucius would use his own owl. The note was written in a hand he had never seen before, which only added to his suspicions and worry not to mention what the note actually said.

Potter,

Getting cosy with Professor Malfoy, aren't you? Dear, dear, what would daddy think? I'm sure he would love to find out what his darling son is getting up to at Hogwarts. If you don't want him to find out, if you want your child to stay unharmed, meet me at the Quidditch Pitch tonight at 9pm.

Be there.

Yours truly,

Do You Really Think I'm Stupid Enough to Sign My Name?

"James?" Sirius placed a hand on James's shoulder and the other boy jumped in surprise. "Are you ok? You look like you've seen a ghost."

James shook his head and crumpled up the parchment in his hand, "No… I need to speak to Lucius…and Dumbledore…" he glanced up at the staff table and saw Lucius watching him curiously.

…

An hour later, James found himself in Dumbledore's office with the Headmaster, Lucius and Sirius by his side. He had his feet pulled up onto the chair and his chin on his knees, watching the Headmaster read and reread the note before passing it to Lucius to look at.

"Do you recognise the handwriting as a student's, Lucius?"

Lucius frowned and shook his head, "No, I don't…" he glanced at James who was determinedly staring at the wall behind Dumbledore's desk. "Look, Albus, about-" he stopped when the Headmaster held up a hand.

"I have suddenly forgotten what the first sentence said, Lucius," said the old wizard, to which the young teacher smiled slightly. "Now, what are we going to do about this? Are you willing to meet this person tonight, James?"

James sniffed, "I don't want to do it alone."

At the exact same time, both Lucius and Sirius spoke, "I'll be there."

There was the familiar twinkle in Dumbledore's blue eyes, "You do not have to go, James, we can make arrangements for Harry and your grandparents to come here so that you know they are safe from your father."

James nodded, "But we need to know who it is, don't we?"

"We can still find out, you don't have to be there if you really don't want to be," continued Dumbledore. "I will personally go down to the Quidditch Pitch at nine tonight to find out who it is and bring them to justice."

James gazed down at the floor, chewing his bottom nervously again, "Will you tell me who it was when you find out?"

"Yes, I will."

"I'd like to be there this evening, Headmaster," said Lucius in a deadpan voice; no one who scared or blackmailed James was going to get away with it when he was around.

Dumbledore shook his head, "I would prefer it if you stayed with James, I don't want you doing anything irrational."

Sirius, who had been quiet this whole time, finally spoke up in a slightly nervous way which was rather unlike him, "I was going to keep this quiet, because I didn't want to worry James, but…my brother told me that James's dad has been hanging around my family's house recently. He said he thinks that he's trying to get to Jay through me…" he glanced at James who was staring at him wide eyed.

"When did Regulus tell you this?" asked Dumbledore frowning.

"Last week, when he got from the Christmas break," replied Sirius quietly. "I just thought that it wouldn't matter much if I said anything or not, because I don't plan on going home any time soon and getting myself put under Imperius or something."

Dumbledore held up his hand to stem Sirius for saying anything more, "Its ok, Sirius, I'm glad you've spoken up now. Do you think maybe you could ask Regulus for more information about this occurrence?"

Sirius nodded, "Yeah, I can try, if I can get him alone."

"Excellent," Dumbledore turned back to James who was frowning even more now. "I will send word to your grandparents right away," James nodded. "In the meantime, I want you boys back in class, so on your way please."

The two teenagers trudged out of the Headmaster's office, James throwing a suspicious look at his best friend as they left.

After the two boys had gone, Dumbledore turned to Lucius who was looking rather sheepish in his chair, "Though I am not altogether pleased with a student/teacher relationship, Lucius, I know that James needs someone. Someone that understands him, and I know that person is you. I trust that you will both be discrete if your relationship develops more?"

Lucius nodded, "Yes sir. I've told him that it would be best if we didn't do anything until after he has finished school, and he realises that."

Dumbledore looked upon the blond with pride, it was not often that families like the Malfoys and Blacks produced someone halfway decent, and Lucius and Sirius just happened to be those people (Regulus Black was coming along that way as well, by the sounds of it). "Very well. I hope to see that boy well protected then, with the tempers you and Sirius hold, not to mention Mr. Lupin and Miss Evans."

Lucius smiled, "You can rest assured, we'll fight for him."

…

James and Sirius walked side by side down the corridor from Dumbledore's office.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

Sirius stopped and looked to James who was regarding him uncertainly, "Like I said, I didn't want to scare you. I didn't think your father could do anything while you're here, and he certainly isn't going to use me to get to you, I wouldn't allow it to happen."

James folded his arms across his chest and nodded, "You still could have told me though-"

"I'm sorry."

James gave his best friend a hug, "Don't worry about it," he pulled away and gave Sirius a stern look. "But if Regulus knows anything else and he withholds it from you, I will personally beat him up."

"Understood."

……

By that evening James was a nervous wreck, he was in Dumbledore's office with Lucius, his grandparents and Harry while the Headmaster was down at the Quidditch Pitch with the blackmailer.

"James, sweetie, sit down," said Elizabeth to her grandson. "Calm down. Dumbledore will be back soon and we will know who it is."

James let out a whimper, he picked Harry up off the floor where the child had been playing with some blocks and cuddled his son to his chest, "Why can't I just have some peace and quiet?"

Henry sighed and shook his head, "It's a cruel world, James… It just seems you drew the short straw at birth."

James sat down on one of the flights of stairs up to Dumbledore's viewing deck, still holding Harry to him, "Well it sucks."

Everyone lapsed into silence for a while, the many clocks in the office were ticking away. Dumbledore was taking an awful long time.

9:10…

9:15…

9:20…

9:25…

9:35…

Lucius sighed and shook his head, "Even for Dumbledore, this is taking far too long."

James was walking around the office, Harry asleep in his arms now, little head on his dad's shoulder, "Is that bad?"

Henry was fiddling with one of Dumbledore's many odd objects, "It could be, but I have never known Dumbledore to lose out to anyone before. I would also think, whoever it is that wanted to meet you, is not a student if it is taking this long."

It was at that point that Dumbledore's office door opened and a bound dark haired man was zapped through with magic before Dumbledore appeared.

Upon seeing the man with Dumbledore, James let out another whimper and ducked behind Lucius who happily stood in front of him as protection. The blond had his wand out and pointing threateningly at the man.

Henry, too, had his wand out, pointing it directly at the son he wished he had never fathered. Elizabeth immediately went over to where James was behind Lucius.

Dumbledore also had his wand trained on the glaring Michael Potter, "Though not the author of the note James received, this is whom I met up with down at the Quidditch Pitch. I trust Michael is upset that his plans were foiled, though I could not help that, he was just too good a target down there, with no assailants."

James had Harry to him with one arm, and he was clutching at the back of Lucius's robes with his free hand; he glanced around the blond's body at his father long enough to see the man sneer at him before ducking back behind the blond again.

"You have some nerve showing your face," growled Henry to his son; he looked to Dumbledore. "Would I be right in assuming this trash is going to Azkaban this time?"

Dumbledore gave a rather malicious smile for such a kindly old man, "Yes, you assumed right. Is there anything you wish to say, Michael?"

Michael continued sneering as his gaze fell on his cowering son once again, "One more time, James? Like old times?"

Lucius felt James begin to lunge forward so he flung out an arm to stop the teenager, "James, don't."

Michael gave a nasty smirk, "Seeking comfort, eh Jamie? The black sheep of the Malfoy family, of all people, though I hear you have been welcomed back with open arms recently. Lucius, isn't it?'

Lucius sneered back in true Malfoy fashion, "I don't know what you heard, Michael, but perhaps you and my father would like to share a cell in Azkaban? Or perhaps not, I hear child rapists get a pretty rough time, a taste of their own medicine," at these words, Michael did actually give a noticeable flinch. "Peas in a pod, you two, enjoy doing it to others but would hate to have it happen to you. Personally, I'd pay to see you get hurt like you've hurt your own son."

Elizabeth smiled slightly from beside James and behind Lucius, she could certainly see now, why James was so smitten with the blond; he had spoken about Lucius many times in his letters. She could certainly get used to seeing Lucius around her grandson, he seemed perfectly able to protect the boy; he also seemed to genuinely care.

Dumbledore gave a flick of his wand and Michael Potter found himself trapped to a chair, another flick of the wand and the man was unconscious his head lagging to the side. "I think that is all for this evening, I will notify the Ministry and have some Aurors take Michael away."

Lucius lowered his wand and tucked it back into his robes, "I think death would be too good for him," a look of disgust was upon his face, he could still feel one of James's hands clutching at his robes.

"I agree," said Henry, also replacing his wand inside his robes.

"Its ok, sweetie, he won't hurt you again," said Elizabeth placing a hand on her shaking grandson's back.

James sniffled and hugged his son as tightly as he dared; his terrified eyes still fixed upon the man that had made his life a living hell. He was thankful Harry had stayed asleep during that.

Lucius turned around to face James, and despite Dumbledore's warnings of discretion this morning, he did the one thing he hoped would give James some peace of mind; he pulled the teenager and the child he was holding to him and hugged them both. He felt James clutch at him again, which only made him hold James tighter, though hopefully not enough to hurt the little child, "Sh, James, its ok. You're safe now," he spoke quietly into the teenager's ear.

After Dumbledore beckoned Henry and Elizabeth over to him; Elizabeth one of Lucius's hands and smiled, "Look after him," she said to the young Malfoy before going over to Dumbledore with her husband.

James sniffed and lifted his head from Lucius's shoulder and spoke in an unusually quiet, "Can me and Harry stay with you tonight?"

Lucius pressed a kiss to the side of James's head and hugged him and the child again, "Of course you can."

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Author's Note: Phew! That chapter was much longer than I originally intended it to be, the whole bit with Michael was going to happen next chapter, but I decided I wasn't enough for a whole chapter on its own. There is not much left of this story; two maybe three chapters left in all.

Next Chapter: Are things starting to look up for James now? Lucius and James's relationship continues to develop. A Hogsmeade weekend. And will Regulus join the Gryffindor clique of misfits?

And yes, I did shamefully rip of Goblet of Fire movie Dumbledore with the 'dark and difficult times' thing.