Chapter 3

(Sirius' POV)

Remus was bent low over a piece of parchment trying to decipher the meaning of my scribbled homework later that evening in the common room. After that morning's little talk we hadn't spoken of what happened the night before, and had just gone through a typical school day, and had collapsed in here immediately after dinner.

My eyes crept slightly over the form of my fellow gryffindor, his golden hair falling over his face while he silently went over my homework for me. His lips unconsciously mouthing the words as he read them, my gaze lingered on his lips for a few seconds until I realised he had glanced up at me and saw me staring, I shot him a quick smile, which he returned and bent back over the parchment. I shifted my position in the armchair so one leg was flung over one arm so my head fell back softly onto the other arm, my gaze resting on the light from the fire flickering on the ceiling above me. I continued watching these golden lights thinking how they were the same colour as Remus' hair, when suddenly my vision was blocked by the giant head of James leering over me.

"Hey Padfoot. Wotcha up to?" He moved over and sat at the sofa beside my armchair which from my position was in front of me. I sat up slightly, and replied,

"Not much, Moony's just going over that piece for Binns for me." I nodded towards the young werewolf who was holding his hair back from his face by resting his head on his hands while scanning my work. James' eyes lingered on him while leaning towards me,

"What's up with Moony any way? Did you get a chance to ask him last night?" he glanced briefly at me before returning his curious gaze at Remus, as if his problem could be seen physically.

"Um, not really, he's just tired mate." I said, in what I hoped was a light cheerful tone. His gaze returned to me, complete with the raised eyebrow in disbelief.

"You sure?"

"Yea, asked him myself, he'll be fine with a good nights rest." James seemed to accept it and relaxed back in his seat. Soon he was rambling on about something Lily had said to him at lunch, I let out a soft sigh, I didn't know whether Remus wanted James to know that he was gay, and thought it best to keep it quiet until I got a chance to ask him.

-

(Remus' POV)

As James continued rambling on about something Lily had said I let out the breath I held. Glad that Sirius hadn't told James what had happened the night before. My mind kept sliding away from the parchment in front of me, not helped by Sirius slanted scribbled handwriting, I could feel his eyes on me from across the room, I became conscious of myself, the way I was sitting, leaning over the desk with my head in my hands, framing my face and conveniently hiding my eyes from him.

I crossed out a meaningless sentence, and finished reading the essay, and released my head from my hands and glanced up to see Sirius smile quickly and turn back to say something to James. My heart thudded quietly as I made my way over to them, and sat down beside James.

"Here you go,"

"Thanks Rem, did I make any sense at all?" Sirius said, taking the parchment from me.

"Yea it was fine, you began to waffle a bit at the end, but it should be fine."

"Brill, cheers mate." I settled back against the arm of the sofa, letting my eyes fall onto the crackling fire. I could hear James and Sirius take up a conversation again, but I couldn't bring myself to join them, my head sank down onto the arm of the sofa, still looking at the fire. The flames all blurred into one, making shapes dance and change. On closing my eyes I could still see the colours and feel the gentle warmth.

"Remus…" I kept my eyes closed, searching for sleep again,

"Remus" I recognised Sirius' voice through my foggy mind, my blurred eyes made out the general shape of him crouching in front of me. I slowly sat up, rubbing my eyes.

"Wha' 'ime is it?" I said yawning,

"Late, you fell asleep a couple of hours ago..." I could hear a smile in his voice. I looked through the fringe of my hair at him, still crouching by the sofa, the common room was empty with only the fire and a couple of candles lighting it. I heard Sirius move to sit next to me, I shifted slightly away from him; I could not let what happened repeat itself.

"Seems like you weren't joking when you said you were tired." I gave him a small smile, and melted at his look. One leg was tucked under him with one arm stretched over the back of the sofa, my eyes followed his arm to his fingers that were delicately twisting a quill around ink stained fingers. He saw my gaze and thankfully misread my expression as curiosity,

"I redid that essay while you slept," I raised an eyebrow at this; Sirius redoing work was as likely as it was for him to become best friends with Snape. He saw my look and replied,

"I know, unlikely, but I did. Thought I'd stay with you while you slept, you looked so peaceful I didn't want to wake you. Had nothing better to do…" He raised a hand to brush his hair away from his face. My eyes traced its path. When I noticed it paused midair, I glanced up, then quickly away as I saw Sirius gaze piercing my own.

Sirius' POV

A funny look came over Remus, he was looking at my hand, but seeming to see something else entirely. His face held, what? Hurt? Fear? No, sadness, this shocked me, I knew Remus had it tough, but never had I seen it shown in his eyes as much as now.

His gaze was now fixed solidly on the floor, not even blinking, I could see the tension in his body, almost see his pulse in his taunt neck. His body was facing slightly away from me, as if to shield himself.

"Hey…" My soft tone seemed to startle him, his eyes shut briefly.

"Hey," I repeated placing my hand on his shoulder; he turned his head slightly away from me. This hurt; we'd always been close, he had never rejected me like this.

"Remus!"

He froze, I could see the muscle in his jaw working, his fist clenched, but he didn't look at me.

"What is going on, what have I done? Please talk to me, your starting to scare me now."

He opened his mouth to say something then shut it quickly. His long hair fell over his face, my hand went automatically to stroke it back, but before I had even touched him he leapt to his feet and turned towards me backing off slightly eyes fixed somewhere on the floor.

"What..?"

"It's just…I…" He stopped, glanced up at me through hard eyes, filled with so much pain, I got up reaching for him.

"No," He put his hand out and shut his eyes away from me, and slowly turned and made his way up to the dormitory. I thought I heard a small whisper, "I can't."

Remus' POV

I can't, I can't talk to him, and I can't look at him. It makes it worse, looking at him knowing I'll never have him.

I shut the hangings tight around my bed, and curled on my side on my bed. All I could see was Sirius worried eyes, his questioning glance. I shut my eyes tight, trying to rid my mind of these beautiful images. A small tear trickled across my face, falling lightly onto the covers.