What Is & What Will Never Be

Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I do not & cannot obtain ownership of POTC 1, 2, or 3...

(A/N: I know, Norrington doesn't seem like the romantic type, but you've only seen him on duty! Now, you see, I have seen him off duty plenty-a-time, and really, he can be a devoted person!)

Commodore Norrington paced back and forth, hands clasped behind his back. Hour after hour he had stood there and paced and waited for some sort of response from Belle.

He winced as the grandfather clock loudly announced that it was 2:00 am. Two o'clock in the morning. Twelve hours since he'd arrived home. Eleven hours he'd been waiting.

He had gone to the liberty of bringing a bouquet of red roses to the door of their bedroom, softly entreating his wife to speak to him. There was no answer. Was she even there? Had she left him? For another man? Was the whole mess her fault? Was she being the despicable one? Was it she who was having an affair?

For, it was not he! No! He had made the grandest mistake, yes; but wasn't she overreacting by treating him this way? Hadn't she received the letter? She said she had. Maybe she was having an affair!

Oh! The despicable little—

No, sorry for disappointment, but no. Certainly not.

And Norrington had brought another bouquet of roses several hours later...and then another...until there was at least thirty-six red and pink roses at the door, all prettied up with ribbon.

Now, as it was 2:16 in the morning, James wondered if his wife was asleep. Of course she was. He heard a dog's bark at the door, and the scratching of nails, and he momentarily resented the yellow mutt for interrupting his vigil.

But she was not asleep. No, she was wide awake, with the lantern on, and the window open.

Belle lay on the bed, her face buried in her pillow. The night—or, rather—early morning breeze gave a slight chill, and made the curtains rustle. She placed a hand to her ribs. She had lost weight.

She turned her face towards the window, brushing a tear from her cheek. She had thought of climbing out, unseen. But then she questioned the reasoning behind it. Why would she do such a thing? To punish her supposedly unfaithful husband? Did she know for a fact he had been unfaithful? No. And where would she go? Nowhere. It could be dangerous at night. Something terrible could happen, she thought, as she remembered what fateful thing almost happened to her dear friend, Jade.

She sighed, trying desperately to clear her mind as she closed her eyes. She remained this way for barely a few seconds before her eyes flashed open again.

She could not sleep. No matter how she tried, she could not rest. (A/N: Mayhap she should try Lunesta. LOL sorry). Her mind could not come at peace.

Something was nagging at her. True, when she received Norrington's letter from abroad, she was filled with hope.

But as the day to his return drew nearer, she began to lose hope yet again.

But still, she couldn't find it in herself to just not forgive him. Or apologize, herself.

As she lay on her back, she felt as if her heart strings were being pulled, and she had to put her hand on her chest to calm the frantic beating.

What am I doing? she thought. Subconsciously, she rose from the bed, and stood, her hand over her heart, and walked towards the door most elegantly; her maroon dress flowing behind her. Her silhouette was likened to that of Sleeping Beauty.

She cautiously opened the door and peered into the darkness. The moon shone light through the windows and the grandfather clock clicked and chimed.

She took a step, but silently gasped as she felt something crush under her foot. She bent down, and picked up one of the bouquets of roses, bringing them to her face to smell the sweet fragrance.

A tear rolled down her cheek, but she hastened to daub it away. Within the ruby-red roses, Belle noticed a slip of paper. She extracted it, and skimmed through it, only for her vision to be blurred by tear-rimmed eyes again.

Tossing the flowers down as she rose from her knees, she cried again in vain,

"What am I doing!" Though, the cry was barely a whisper, only loud enough for her ears to hear.

She went back into the bedroom, and to the open window, letting the cool air revive her.

"What shall become of me? I love him! I do, I do!" she suddenly murmured, and passionately hurried down the staircase in a flurry, though her footsteps were as light as orange leaves brushing the ground in autumn.

She finally reached the bottom of the stairs, and looked about fervently. "James!" she called. "James!" But to no avail. She scurried past every room, ardently beseeching him.

She finally reached the front entry, not expecting to find anything. What she did find was the yellow dog, sitting placidly, a few feet from the front door.

"What're you..." she started in a breath, but stopped as the dog came to her and placed a note at her feet before resuming gnawing at the gold key.

She picked it up and began to read it by light of the moon and lightening sky. It was but three o'clock in the morning.

My dear,

Again I beseech you to forgive any wrongs I have committed. I shall say no more until you entreat me to speak right before you. I shall be gone, but—

Belle could not finish the note. Sinking to the floor, she covered her face with her hands as she wept. The dog offered his comfort by way of whines and licks, but Belle paid no heed, and he wretchedly shuffled off.

After several minutes of this horrid, imperfect, unladylike behaviour, which Belle scolded herself for; she stood and walked back up the stairs, only to retreat to the bedroom again.

With a sob-like sigh, she closed the door, and stood for several moments, unmoving.

"Excuse me, dear lady", came a voice.

With a frightened and surprised gasp, Belle spun around, only to see James, her husband, sitting on the windowsill.

She was shocked for a split-second, but it was replaced with a feeling of uncontrollable elation as she went towards him, to have him catch her in his arms.

"Oh, James", she muttered, as she wept into his shoulder. "I'm so sorry. I'm so stupid and narcissistic to treat you this way. I—"

"Shh...It's alright, Belle. I deserved the punishment."

Belle looked up at him.

"Miss Berneray, would you allow me to speak?" he asked gently.

"Well, of course, James", she answered, a bit worriedly.

"I must tell you, in truth, that I have always cared for Elizabeth—Miss Swann." He paused. "Mrs. Turner; which is rightfully and impeccably her namesake. Governor Swann had requested of me to voyage to the household of the Turner's in France, for his daughter was to give birth to her first child. I dutifully obeyed the Governor, of course. I firstly had the intentions of telling Elizabeth that I would always be there if she needed anything, and these feelings took hold of me as I reached their home. But the moment I saw her, all thoughts were erased from me, and when I witnessed Mr. and Mrs. Turner so enamored, I could not resist thinking of you."

Throughout this, Belle had seated herself on the edge of the bed, looking at James, and listening thoughtfully.

"I felt in my heart such a feeling of love and loss. I have always loved you, Belle, and at that moment, I recalled our wedding." He paused, as if recalling it again at that very moment.

"I felt that I had lost you; my dear wife." He turned away momentarily before turning towards her again to meet her eyes. "I could not bear for that to happen, and I could not bear our union being torn apart by superfluous nothings."

He walked to her, and took her hands in his own. He brushed his thumb over her wedding ring, and felt a flash of sanguinity.

"Do you understand, Belle?" he asked, as he looked her in the eyes. "I love you." He dropped his hands. "However, if you have not the same feelings..."

She rose. "I love you, James", she said. "I have forgiven you, though I ask that you will forgive me in return", she continued softly.

"There is naught to be forgiven!" Norrington cried as he embraced her, and then placed a light kiss upon her lips.

She pulled back slowly, then said, "I've missed you terribly." She drew back into his embrace, though only momentarily, for James murmured, "I too", as he kissed her again more passionately.

"I've...missed you as a companion by my side...but...also as a husband."

"And I; you as my wife", Norrington answered as they fell to the edge of the bed.

"Perhaps we have reconciled", Belle whispered breathlessly.

"I'm so sorry dear, sexy Jack wasn't in this chapter! Je suis fâché! I promise Jack will be in the next chapter, and if he isn't, please shoot me without delay. I miss him, too. This predicament was just gnawing à moi.