Disclaimer: RENT and its characters do not belong to me.

Author's notes: Well here we go off on the roller coaster of recovery for Mark. Thank you all reviewers.

As for the issue of the title. I've decided to leave it as is, and have come up with a few more things that make the title work.

Also, I'd like to note that this isn't going to be an epic chapter fic. It will probably be one or two more chapters after this one. It's just not a plot that I can draw out that well.

And to clear things up…Mimi is dead. I believe I mentioned this in the last chapter in the little intro.

Italics are the intro thing. Except in this chapter, it's more than an intro. It's a good chunk of the chapter.

December 31st, 10:00 AM, Eastern Standard Time. Fade in on Mark's hospital room, where the filmmaker has just been dressed in some clothes from the local Goodwill. He wears a new pair of glasses and sits in a wheelchair, waiting for his last clear from the doctor before he is discharged for a nice, quiet New Years Eve.

Roger sits next to him, and they talk quietly. Roger rarely leaves Mark's side since the fire. Once Mark had been moved out of the ICU he had to abide by visiting hours, but somehow he always manages to be there at the important times, when Mark learns that he will never recover full use of his right leg and other times like that.

Cut to Maureen and Joanne's apartment, where they are preparing it for a small welcoming party. They have offered their home as a place to stay for Mark and Roger to get back on their feet. Joanne had wanted to sue Benny and his in-laws. They were responsible for not repairing the faulty electrical wiring that caused the fire, and that lawsuit was in the works, but Mark and Roger were not a part of it.

They will just be staying here until they could get a new place and find a way to pay for it. Something that they are now hoping will become a better strong suit.

January 20th 4:00 PM Eastern Standard Time. It has been three weeks since Mark and Roger moved in with Joanne. Three weeks during which time important changes have occurred for almost everyone.

Zoom in on Joanne, who has received a promotion at her law firm, for bringing in such a huge lawsuit in regards with the Landlords from Westport. She is now only a few cases away from becoming partner. Pan right to Maureen, who has just landed the lead in a new play that would be shown far off Broadway. But this doesn't matter to her. It is more important that she will be the focus of something that won't cause people to get arrested…hopefully.

Pan to Roger, who is getting ready for a forced night out with Collins. Roger spends his time doing one of two things. He is either working his new job as a bartender, or with Mark. Whether he is taking care of him, or just talking to him it doesn't make a difference. If he's not working, Roger is with Mark. Something about the fire sparked something inside of the musician, and he now sees it has his responsibility to make sure that the recovering film maker is as comfortable and alright as possible. This sort of behavior has left him with little sleep, due to Mark's general bouts of insomnia. Roger ignores Mark's insistences that he go to bed anyways, giving him a general exhausted air, though he's not tired. Thus, Collins is taking him out.

Pan back to the couch, where Mark lies on his side, a position that has been most comfortable for him as of late. He is the one that nothing has happened for. He's almost out of using the wheelchair; the doctors say they have almost rehabilitated his leg to the best of their abilities and then he'll be able to get around using a cane. He hasn't been able to go out and find a job to contribute to the new apartment fund like Roger has. The majority of his time has been spent, sitting on the same couch, and thinking, possibly writing down ideas, but always avoiding thoughts that led to thinking about what had happened.

Fade to black.

Collins held up a stumbling Roger beneath him as they walked up the steps into his apartment. This was not part of the night out plan. He had brought Roger out because Roger hadn't been having any fun lately. He had brought Roger out because Roger deserved to have fun, having taken over Mark's role as the responsible one in the relationship while Mark was unable to be it. He had brought Roger out because Mark had been the only one Roger had been hanging out with lately. He didn't think that simply because he brought Roger to a bar that Roger would get drunk. He was most certainly mistaken by that point.

So when they finally decided to leave the bar, Collins made the decision that bringing the less than sober musician home back to Maureen and Joanne's was a recipe for disaster, and decided to bring him back to his place to sleep it off. Technically it was only his place for the rest of the month, when he would be leaving for another teaching job, but this was all beside the point.

"Collins, I've realized something." Roger started speaking when he was brought into the apartment, getting out of Collins' grip and going to the couch on his own without direction. "Mark."

He left it at that, which left Collins confused. Roger normally wasn't a talker when he was drunk, but when he did, it was usually something that he didn't want to talk about when he was sober. When he brought up Mark it got Collins thinking, but he couldn't think of why Roger would bring him up. He closed the door behind himself, and walked over, tossing his keys in a dish as he went over to Roger. "What about Mark?" Just asking a simple question was the key in dealing with Roger like this. A simple question could open the floodgates of emotion…normally.

He flopped so he was lying on the couch staring up at the ceiling, the hair that was getting too long falling off of his face. "He's amazing, the way he deals with everything. I couldn't do it."

Collins didn't say anything, knowing that more was coming. It was clear to him that Roger was referring to the way that the fire had left Mark with problems of his own to deal with, when he was already dealing with everyone else's.

"My Marky…he's just fucking amazing."

His Marky…that was a new one. Collin's was starting to get a bit suspicious about where this talk was going.

"Love my Marky." Roger paused for himself, not for nearly as long a time. "He's the one. I know it."

And his just confirmed everything for Collins. What he had been thinking about Roger…He had had his thoughts about the way Roger was treating Mark; the way he was so gentle with the filmmaker and always taking care of him.

"I love my Marky."

Collins watched as his friend's eyes closed in a manner of sleeping, and resigned himself to getting some blankets for him, starting to contemplate the new developments in their lives.

"Good morning." Collins had a little smile on his face as Roger entered the kitchen his hair jetting out in a few different directions, a stubble gracing his chin. "I trust you want this." He held out the glass off water and two aspirin.

Roger swallowed the aspirin and then sent his friend a look. "Why did you let me drink so much?"

"You needed to let go." Collins shrugged. "I figured you wouldn't mind to much." He paused. "Was I wrong?"

Roger sighed not answering, sitting in the chair at the table, discarding the water, and grabbing the pot of coffee Collins had out. He could remember what he said last night, and was hoping that the only reason Collins was so cheery was because he had been up for far longer and he had already gotten over the brunt of his hangover. He was hoping this was the case just so Collins wouldn't remember what he had said. But he knew this wasn't the case.

"So do you want to talk about last night or would you rather skillfully avoid the subject until you find your own way to deal with it?" Collins smiled once more, sipping his own coffee, knowing what Roger would want to do.

"Oh fuck off."

And instead of drunk sensitive Roger, we were back with normal Roger who didn't talk about his feelings. "I'm just saying that---."

"I know what you're saying." Roger cut him off. "You're saying that my way of dealing with things sucks because I ignore things until it's too late."

"Well I wasn't going to put it quite like that…" Collins trailed away from his sentence at the strange turn of events where Roger could talk about himself like that. "But basically yes."

Roger downed half the mug of his lukewarm coffee. "Well I've dealt with it." He announced. "I've dealt with realizing that I'm in love with my best friend."

"But…" Collins supplied, just knowing it was coming.

"But I'm not telling him until we have our own place. Not until we can get our shit back to normal."

"Your shit is never gonna go back to the way you want it to be." He didn't want to point it out, but it was true. From this point in there was really only one way to go and that was downhill.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that you want things to go back to being perfect like they were before April."

"That's not me that's Mark." Roger tried to argue without accentuating the headache that was still bothering him.

Collins just shook his head. "It's you too. You want things to be perfect, and things are never going to be perfect. You're never going to tell him."

"Oh fuck off."

Well, at least Roger was acting normal again, Collins mused. That was one step closer to him telling Mark.

OK there's that. I think everything is clear enough but if you have any questions, ask in a review.