Chapter Five
"How is she?" Susan asked Carter.
The two of them were standing outside Sam's room. Carter had stayed with her the whole night, they didn't want to leave her alone for the night.
"The same, she's asleep at the moment. Any word from Luka?"
"No, I tried the apartment but he wasn't there."
"I'm so tempted to go find him and drag him back here, I can't believe he left her alone at a time like this."
"A time like what?" Susan and Carter turned to find Alex standing beside them. They didn't even notice him come over and they were both wondering just how much he might have heard.
"What are you doing here?" Carter asked.
"My friend's mom dropped me off here cause there was no one at home. Frank told me that Mom was here, is she ok?"
Susan knelt down in front of Alex, "Your mom is fine, she just fainted last night and we had to keep her in for observation. I'll just go in and let her know that you're here."
"OK," Alex said. He was sure his mom was fine, but he could sense that something was wrong. He was willing to guess that it had to do with Luka, he didn't see him anywhere and Dr Lewis hadn't mentioned him. He wondered where Luka was, he wasn't at home and he didn't seem to be here.
Sam turned over in the bed and opened her eyes. She looked at the clock, she had been asleep for one whole hour. No wonder she felt so tired, the bed was really uncomfortable, even if she hadn't been thinking about Luka and her baby all night she would have found it hard to get to sleep. She looked over at the door, she could hear Susan and Carter talking outside, she couldn't hear what they were saying but she guessed it was about her. Carter had stayed with her the whole night, they didn't talk but she did find it comforting to have someone there. She just wished that person had been Luka.
She was here pregnant with his child after all. She wondered if the baby was still alive, did she want the baby? She sure as hell didn't want to be a single mother with a eleven year old and a new born baby. But she also didn't want the baby to die, she loved it already. She stared at the ceiling, Luka hadn't come back, hadn't even called. She doubted he would be back, she'd end up having to have this baby and raise it on her own. She had done it with Alex, she could do it again. The only thing was she didn't want to have to do it alone.
As she was thinking that Susan came into the room, she had a bag in her hand. Sam sat up in the bed and watched her friend.
"I brought you some clothes, just jeans and stuff, I thought you might want a change of clothes." Susan put the clothes at the end of Sam's bed and sat down.
"Thanks Susan."
"No problem, that's what friends are for!" Susan answered. "Alex is outside, do you want to see him or do you want me to say that you're sleeping?"
"Tell him he can come in. I have to talk to him about some stuff anyway," Sam said as she rubbed her temples and pushed her hair out of her face.
"Sam, are you ok? Stupid question really, but do you need to talk or anything?" Susan asked, her voice full of concern.
"I don't think Luka is going to come back, and. . . . . . being a single mom just sucks sometimes!"
"Being a mom is hard enough, and I have Chuck to help me, I don't know how you've managed with Alex, you're so young."
"I feel a lot better now, Susan, thanks!" Sam said with a hint of sarcasm in her voice.
"Sorry. But you won't have to do this all on your own, I'm willing to lend you a hand, help you out if you need it or just listen to you complain. Just remember that, ok?" Susan said, Sam looked so lost at the moment, it was not something she was used to, Sam was always such a strong person, always so full of life. And now, . . . . . she just hoped that the baby was ok, Sam at least deserved that.
"I'll get Alex for you," she said, getting up from the bed.
At he door Susan turned at looked at Sam once more. God help Luka when she got her hands on him, what was he thinking, leaving like that?
Sam waited for Alex to come in, she hoped she didn't look too bad, she didn't want Alex to worry. She had to be strong, for his sake. Susan had looked so worried when she had been in, it wasn't very reassuring. But Sam was glad to know she had her friend's support, she might need it. She turned to look at the door when she heard it open, Alex came in.
Alex went over to his mother and sat up on the bed beside her. She looked so pale, he hadn't been worried before but now he was. Was she ok? She gave him a big hug, and he let her. He didn't feel embarrassed, for once he needed the comfort of his mother's arms around him. Something was definitely wrong, he could sense it.
"Mom?" he asked, pulling back and looking her up at her face.
"Yeah?" she answered, she could tell he was worried, it was there in his eyes.
"What's wrong? I mean why are you in hospital? Are you going to be ok?"
Sam was a little taken aback, not quite sure which question to answer first.
"I'm fine," she said, "Last night, I fainted and they wanted me to stay in over night just to make sure everything was ok, and it is."
"Good, I don't want you to be sick. Who would be there to cheer me on in the match on Wednesday?"
Sam let out a little laugh, "We wouldn't want that to happen!"
Sam took a deep breath as her son sat beside her, watching her face intently.
"I have something to tell you"
"What?" he asked.
"Well, you're going to have a little brother or sister. I don't want you to feel left out or anything, I know it's been just you for some time now. I'll always have time for you, and I'll never stop loving you, never! A new baby won't change that, and I want you to feel free to talk to me about any worries you have, ok?" She took in another breath, she had pretty much said all that in one breath, she was so nervous as to what Alex's reaction would be.
"Cool! I hope I get a brother."
It would seem she needn't have worried, he was excited about the news. She hugged her son once again.
"You know it could just as easily be a girl."
"Having a sister would be cool too, I suppose. Can I help you pick out a name?"
"Sure, just as long as it's not some wrestler's name or something."
"Would I?" Alex asked, looking at his mother with a seemingly innocent smile on his face.
They were interrupted at that moment by Carter, who came in to tell Sam that the obgyn was ready to see her now. Alex went outside with Carter so his mom could get dressed, and Carter was faced with a bombard of questions from the eleven year old about babies and what it was like to have a sibling. Carter just wondered how Alex could be so full of energy all the time, he couldn't eat much sugar due to his diabetes, it was a puzzle as to how the child was so hyper. He understood why Sam was so tired all the time, listening to Alex was enough to tire any one out!
Luka drummed his fingers on the steering wheel, he was stuck in traffic on his way to work. He wondered how Sam was doing, was the baby alive? He doubted it was, surely someone would have contacted him if it was. He hadn't been home yet, he wasn't sure if Sam would want to keep the apartment or if she would find somewhere else. He didn't mind, it would be easier for him to move. Not that he wanted Sam and Alex out of his life. He wanted nothing more than to run up to see Sam the minute he got to the hospital, he didn't think he'd be wanted though, not after last night. Deep down, he knew that he had pushed her away, that he had shut her out. He just wasn't ready to be that close to anyone again, he didn't know if he ever would be. All he did know was that he loved Sam more than he had ever loved any woman, he had hoped that his love would be enough. He could see now that it was selfish to expect her to be completely open with him when he wasn't going to return the favour. It just hurt so much, he was glad she wasn't working that day cause he knew that seeing her would be torture. He wasn't sure how he was going to live without her, he had to let her go though. It was better for her that way.
Sam was on yet another hospital bed waiting for the obgyn to come in. She was as nervous as hell! Alex was with her, prattling on about some new video game he had played at his friend's house, she just nodded her head and kept saying things like "Wow" and "Really?". He didn't seem to notice her lack of attention though. Susan was there with her, for moral support.
Susan didn't say anything, she was just listening to Alex. She knew that he was a good kid and all, but she hoped Cosmo grew up to be a little less hyper and a lot less of a handful. But Alex really did seem to care for his mom, and she hoped that Cosmo would be the same in that regard. The doctor came in finally and Susan felt Sam grip her hand, she rubbed it reassuringly.
The doctor applied the gel to Sam's stomach, she jumped slightly at how cold it felt. Then she held her breath as the doctor tried to find the baby's heartbeat. She held on tighter to Susan's hand. She hadn't realised just how worried about the baby she was until that moment when she would find out if it was alive or not. She couldn't look anymore, she screwed her eyes shut.
And then she heard it, her baby's heartbeat. She opened her eyes and looked at the screen.
"Do you want to know the sex? You're twelve weeks along and I can tell you now if you want" the doctor asked.
"Is it a boy?" Alex asked.
The doctor looked at Sam expectantly.
"You might as well tell him, life won't be worth living until he knows" Sam answered.
"Well, it's a girl, congratulations!"
"Can I still teach her how to play soccer?" Alex asked.
"Yeah, of course."
"OK." Alex shrugged.
The doctor left them alone, after telling Sam that the baby was fine but she should really just rest for the next few days. Alex went off to get some food from a vending machine and Sam and Susan were left in the room.
Sam got down off the bed, the scan pictures in her hand. She looked at the pictures once again, she was having a girl. She was happy, happier than she had been in a long time. She knew that raising this baby on her own would not be easy, but she loved it now and she didn't think she would have been able to have coped with having a miscarriage, not with everything else that was going on in her life.
She thought briefly of Luka, what he would think of being a father again. But she stopped herself, he made it clear last night that it wasn't going to work between him. She shook her head and followed Susan out of the room. The two started talking about all the gossip in the ER and Sam forgot everything for a while.
Alex was making his way to the doctor's lounge in the ER, where his mom told him to meet her when he was finished at the vending machine. He was at the admit desk when he spotted Luka there picking up a chart. Alex just couldn't contain his anger. He ran up to him and kicked him sharply in the shin, it was good to know all the soccer practice came in handy now and then.
Luka looked down at Alex, that boy sure could kick. He was sure it would leave a bruise.
"What was that for?" he asked Alex.
Alex looked up at Luka, he couldn't believe that he even had to ask! Wasn't it obvious?
"That's for my mom" he yelled at the tall Croatian.
Then he kicked him again, "And that is for breaking your promise. You're no better than my dad!"
Alex ran off to the doctor's lounge before Luka had a chance to answer. He just hoped that his mom didn't find out, she wouldn't be happy to find out he was being violent. At the same time he didn't regret what he had done, it may not have been the right thing to do but kicking Luka had sure felt good!
Sam was in the doctor's lounge with Carter waiting for Alex. She was ready to go home, she just wasn't sure where exactly home was.
"What are you going to do now?" Carter asked her.
"I'm not sure," she answered, "I'm moving out of Luka's, that's for sure. I just don't have anywhere to go. I suppose we'll have to stay in a motel for a few days. I haven't really thought this through, I had other things on my mind last night."
"That's understandable." Carter told her.
"You don't happen to know anywhere near here that's cheap but nice?"
Carter thought for a moment. He couldn't believe Luka just left like that, and now Sam was left with Alex and a baby without a place to live. He was sure that Luka would let them stay on in the apartment, but he could sense that Sam just wanted to get out of there as soon as possible. Then he got a somewhat crazy idea.
"I know someplace" he said.
"Yeah?"
"How bout you and Alex lived with me for a while?"
"I couldn't possibly do that," Sam answered, she was shocked he even asked.
"Why not? I live in that big house all by myself, there's more than enough space for you and Alex. I even have two spare bedrooms."
"I don't know. I wouldn't want to impose"
"You won't be, besides I wouldn't ask if I wasn't ok with it."
"Yeah, but…"
"It would save you staying in a motel, and having to look for a new place when you're supposed to be resting. And it would save you on money."
"Maybe, I'll move out as soon as I find a new place and I help pay the bills" she answered, she felt a bit strange just taking Carter up on his nice offer. She didn't know him that well.
"Nonsense, it's not like I struggle to pay the bills!"
It was that moment that Alex walked in the door. Sam could tell that he had done something that he probably shouldn't have done, he had a guilty look on his face. She was just too tired to question him about it, all she could do was hope that it wasn't too bad. Like the time he stole the finger.
"Hey Alex," Carter said, "How would you feel if you and your mom moved in with me for a while?"
"Do you have cable? Will I get my own room?"
"Yes and yes, I live in a house so there'll be plenty of space for you."
"It's ok with me so," Alex said.
"So it's settled then" Carter said turning to Sam.
Sam had been lost in her own thoughts and hadn't been listening to what they were talking about. She had a feeling that she should have been though.
"We're moving into Carter's" Alex answered, a huge grin on his face. He was glad they didn't have to stay in a motel or worse, go back to living with Luka.
"Fine," Sam said, she knew she was out voted. Living with Carter wouldn't be so bad, it did beat having to find a new apartment.
Luka was just going to check on one of his patients when he saw Sam and Alex leave the hospital with Carter. He could only see the back of their heads, he didn't know how Sam was doing. I took all of his strength to stop from running over to Sam and taking her into his arms. Now was not the time, he couldn't just go up to her like that now. Not after what had happened between them the previous night.
He could tell that Alex was talking quite excitedly about something. He absentmindedly rubbed his leg when thinking about Alex, he hadn't thought about how Alex would take the break-up. It was obvious that Alex blamed him, but then again he kind of blamed himself as well.