"...she held my heart in her hands..."

Disclaimer: Nobody in this story belongs to me except maybe the medical staff :)

Please feel free to read and review, this is my first fic althoughI never intended to write this one I thought i might post it for all those T/J fans out there.All kinds of reviews are welcome both positive and negative. :)This is only the first chapter and more will be added once I've gotten around to it.

Monday: The day it all happened

I brushed her shoulder as she stumbled past.

"Tess? You right?" I asked too concerned about the cut down her face then my bleeding arm. She muttered something back, I couldn't hear her but I noticed tears welling up in her eyes. I wanted to hug her but she pushed me away. She always did.

"Hey..." I brushed the tears that fell down her cheek with the back of my hand and she looked up at me with her intense blue eyes. She smiled; I guess she was grateful... I just saved her life.

Tessy never did appreciate anything, not even the time when I went out of my way to make life easier for her. Sometimes I wish it would just all go away. Loving Tess is the best thing that's ever happened to me but it's the worst too.The funny thing is that I never seem to stop thinking about her, even when I was engaged to Susie. I always had that nagging feeling in the back of my mind that somehow Tess was the best thing that happened to me. I love her and she knows it, I wish she loved me too.
"We better get you checked out by the ambos..." I said to Tess. She looked at me again; her blue eyes glistened in the dim light that was still present in the dark alleyway.

"I'm fine!" she muttered brushing blood into her hair in an attempt to get her hair out of her face.

I ignored her protest and reached for her portable gingerly, waiting for her to push me away again but she didn't, instead she closed her eyes quite briskly and pressed her fragile body against the wall and collapsed.

"Tess! Tess!" I tried to shake her awake but she fell into my arms, her head falling against my face. I received a mouthful of Tess' blood only then did I realise how hard he bashed her head in.

The wedding was off as soon as Susie said she loved Alex, I mean I couldn't possibly marry her...not now anyway. The way she pranced around about him kissing him and cuddling him at every possible chance made me sick. That nauseating feeling stayed with me for months and I couldn't shake it. My own best mate, why him? Anybody but Lex. I guess it was better sooner than later but she hurt me, I'll never forget that.
The hospital lights were intense; they hurt my eyes just looking at them. I could hear the rhythmic beeping of the various machines in the room next to me hoping that was the sound of Tess' heartbeat.

A doctor entered the room complete with a pack of dressing to dress my arm with. She rolled up my sleeve and started swabbing up the blood that was already there.

"Now this is just a scratch so you shouldn't have too much of a problem with it healing." The doctor rambled on about something to do with keeping the wound clean but I didn't care I wanted to know about Tessy.

"How's Tess?" I asked assuming the doctor would know everything. The doctor didn't reply she was sticking on the clear film to the keep the dressing in place.

"Is she okay?" I asked again hoping that would attract her attention. She was annoyed.

"Ahh...look I don't really know you'll have to ask one of the nurses, they'll direct you to her resident doc and then you can ask away." She kept herself busy with writing down some pain relief medication on her prescription.

"Now are there any other cuts or abrasions on your body that you know of? Anywhere that hurts?"

I didn't tell her that I hurt inside, she wouldn't care.

I brushed Tess' blood from the inside of my mouth onto my hand. It was still fresh and a deep sort of red.

"Is that your blood?" the doctor asked looking directly at me; she prepared herself for my answer of "no".

"Well we'll have to get that tested to make sure there isn't anything nasty in it and we'll get you cleaned up and you can go home." The doctor faked a smile knowing that I cared little about what she had to say. I wanted to sit by Tess; I wanted to be there when she woke up.

I can still remember the day Tess came down from Melbourne. She came as soon as she heard I was getting married. A week before the supposed wedding she just appeared suitcase and all but no baby. She wouldn't tell me why she just said there was no baby and that was it.
I sat on the somewhat comfy seat they had at the side of Tessy's bed. She looked worse for wear but at least the blood from her head was gone. The blood scared me the most, knowing that that bastard split her head open with a bit of metal.

The doctor came in clutching his clipboard. His knuckles white with terror, his nervousness was obvious.

"Is she gonna wake up?" I asked before the doctor could say anything.

"Yes, she will soon enough. She's been heavily sedated so it may take a while though... I'm Dr. Russel; I'll be her resident doctor for the next week or so."

"The next week or so! She doesn't have that long!" I exclaimed worried by the fact that her injury wasn't minor.

"Look, I understand your concern and I realise that she is in danger, she will receive police protection." Dr. Russel tried to calm me down but by now I had turned into a nervous wreck; I wanted him to fix her. I needed to protect her she was in danger, he was gonna hurt her.

"How bad is it?" I asked

"Well she has received very deep lacerations to the head. She was struck at least 20 times. Some of the cuts are so deep they reach the skull. It's amazing that she managed to survive a beating like that. Her attacker wanted her dead." The doctor talked quickly agitated at the state of Tess.

"I know." I whispered looking down at a very peaceful yet almost lifeless Tess.

"There are some tiny metal shards that are still embedded in her skull so she will have to have surgery to remove them." The doctor informed.

"Will she be okay?" I asked concerned

"Well our surgical team are a professional bunch and with a lot of rest she should recover but I do warn you that she may have sustained some kind of damage to the brain. We will find out in due course although the chances of her sustaining major brain damage are quite low."

"How low?" I stood up slowly in disbelief. Tessy was hurt just because some idiot didn't get his dope.

"Oh...about 25. You really shouldn't worry about it the chances are very slim." Dr. Russel didn't seem convincing. He did a crap job trying to convince me that everything would be okay when it wasn't.

We were both so very different after the bombing. Everybody at the station flinched at the mention of a bomb but it was me that Tess noticed the most. She said I changed, that I wasn't the same old constable she once knew and she was right but she changed too.

Ever since the death of her baby girl Sammy, Tess has been sorely depressed, she could never think straight and her ability to express compassion was at its all time low. She hid it well she was always good at that.

When she appeared in Mt. Thomas that bright spring day in September I felt that awful feeling again, the feeling that cursed me since the day she left. It tore me up inside knowing that she was here I loved her, so much that when she left life had no more meaning but now that she was back it was different. That feeling haunted me, it still does.

I sat by her bedside tirelessly waiting for some response from Tess, even if she just squeezed my hand but she didn't not for 5 hours anyway. I looked outside the window into the light that slowly seeped into Mt. Thomas that cold wintry morning. The visitors and staff all were wearing thick coats and woolly scarves as they flocked to the hospital. The nurse crept into the room as silently as she could trying to make as little noise as possible so not to disturb Tessy, not that she could.

"Hello, you must be Evan Jones." She remarked her face glowing with a warm sort of happiness. It sort of lit up the depressing room.

"Yeah…" She woke me from the brief daydream I had.

"You know you're welcome to go home, it might take a while for her to wake up." The nurse smiled, that was the first positive face I saw in ages. It melted away any doubt I had in this nurse.

"Can I stay?" I asked knowing perfectly that I could.

"Of course, family can stay the whole morning if they wish, but make sure you get some sleep."

"Will do... Thanks"

"You seem like a very happy couple. Have you been married long?" The nurse noticed that I held Tessy's hand against my cheek and was gently stroking her palm with my thumb.

"Ahh…she isn't my wife, well not yet anyway." I spoke softly looking at Tessy who was breathing slowing in her very deep sleep.

"Oh sorry, I just realised...no rings!" The nurse chuckled at her mistake and I smiled wishing that what the nurse said was true.

There was a painful silence interrupted only by the beeping machines, for the next couple of seconds the nurse checked Tess' vitals and made sure her IV was connected. A sad expression came over her face.

"If you are here when she wakes up don't be surprised if she can't talk immediately, she may have sustained some kind of injury to her brain." I felt the nurse smile, even when I couldn't see her she gave out this warmth that was incredibly nice.

"Yeah I know the doc told me." I whispered she could still hear me over the beeping machines.

"He'll fix her" the nurse reassured. Somehow she sounded more convincing then the doc. She turned to leave just after she put back Tess' drug charts. She walked towards the door her footsteps making no sound. The nurse turned around just before her hand touched the door handle.

"I hope everything works out...between you two that is".

And with that she left.