After a couple of months, Mark decided the best thing for him was to just go back on the road with the wrestling tour…he had to do something to keep himself from going insane…
As for me, it didn't matter where I sat, laid down or slept in the house…I could still hear, smell and feel Glenn every where I went…I even slept outside one night on the back porch…but I just couldn't sleep…I kept expecting to see him walk through the door and sweep me away to the bedroom, like he did every time he came home from being on the road when I wasn't with him…
After forcing myself to live in that house for 3 months, I decided I couldn't do it anymore…I packed everything up and threw it all in a Storage place in town…I put the house up for sale…
I walked through out the house making sure I had packed every single thing…then I looked up on the fire place and had forgotten to take down our 8 x 10 wedding photo…with Mark and Sara both in it with us…
I pulled the picture down kissed it and placed it in my backpack and then pulled the front door closed behind me…I knew leaving was the best thing for me to do…I had to do something my sanity was slowly slipping away and I was going to let the death of my husband and best friend kill me too…I got in my Toyota RAV 4…I even sold Glenn's explorer…I couldn't handle driving it…it was just something I had to give up…
I drove over to Mark place, I knew he'd be home…I called ahead of time…he was in the drive way working on one of his bikes…and wiped his hands off and came over and said, "I take it your leaving?" I said, "I have to Mark…I can't live in that house anymore…it's not even a home without Glenn there…Besides I'm taking some time off work Vince agreed it would probably be for the best so he has a temp who's going to be taking my place until I'm up and ready to go."
Mark said, "So where are you gonna go?" I said, "My nana (grandma) lives in Boston…I stayed with her while I was going to college…when she heard about Glenn, she called and asked me to come stay with her until I can get back on my feet…I don't know how long I'm going to be gone…or how long it will take me…but I'll be back…and you've got my cell-phone number if you need anything…I'll always have it turned on…if not…then leave a message and I'll be back to you…" Mark said, "Yea…the same goes for you…don't think for a second that I won't be there…I don't care if you need a shoulder to cry on or a tissue to wipe your eyes…you call me if you need me…"
I smiled and said, "I will…You take care of your self…and if you need to talk…I don't care what time it is…just call me…I'll always be ready to listen…" Mark pulled me over and enveloped me into his arms…and we just held each other for a good 10 or 15 minutes…and Mark kissed the top of my head and said, "You better get going…I don't want to driving at night…" I said, "Okay…I'll call you when I get there…" Mark nodded and helped me back in the car…and watched as I left down the road…
One more stop…
I pulled up to the cemetery gates and walked to the back and sat between Glenn and Sara's graves…
I said, "This is it you two…you have to take care of each other…and please watch over Mark for me…I know he tries to look strong and brave in front of me…but he's a big mess on the inside like me…He's the perfect teddy bear…it doesn't matter how much he's hurting…if someone else is hurting just as bad, he'd push all his pain aside to help you…no questions asked and no strings attached…I'll always be grateful you both came into my life…and you'll forever be in my heart…"
I stood on my knees and placed kisses on each other their grave stone…Sara Beloved Wife and Best Friend…Glenn Beloved Husband and Best Friend…
I wiped my tears and walked back to my car and got in and drove off…getting on the highway…destination Boston Massachusetts…I'm coming home Nana.