Chapter 13
"Is she going to be ok?"
"I think so."
"You think so?"
"Well... she's the one that's becoming a doctor..."
"Mom, calm down. We've got it under control."
"Under control? Under control! Look at her! She has a scar now!"
"That was from before, Dad. When she fell in the cafeteria at Tokyo U. Remember? She told us."
"Oh... well..."
"I think you two should step outside. Please?"
It was when the front door slammed a few moments later that I finally came back to life. I didn't want to open my eyes because... I was afraid of what I would see. Plus, the thought of falling back to sleep was comforting. But, nontheless, I stirred, moving my hand to shield my eyes from the light that was about to come. I heard Riku gasp, and whispers floated around in the air. I groaned, reluctantly opening my eyes and squinted at the fuzzy figures in front of me. I could see Daisuke easily. He was pretty noticable with the hair and all. Riku's body took a little longer to solidify, and there was one more person. I thought it was Mom or Dad, but those eyes... they did not belong to anyone I knew. With the exception of one person.
"Satoshi?" I could not help but blurt this out a little too loudly. My head was filled with nothing and the immediate action of sitting up kind of caused me to sway. I had to close my eyes again and grab hold of something to steady me. I thought it was Riku's arm, but when my eyes reopened, I saw that it was not. I recoiled on instinct and stared at... him.
He looked at me, as if pained by my actions... but it was more than that. It was like he was ashamed. Whether it was me or him causing that feeling, I didn't know. Yet I had a terrible feeling that he was ashamed of himself.
"Who are you?" This was the first thing that I demanded to know. Not 'what happened' or 'what are you doing here'. It was 'who are you'. As soon as I said it, I felt like passing out again. Everyone was looking at me with this... expression. I don't know what it was, but I didn't like it. But I must've had an impact on him because he glanced at Daisuke and Riku, as if reassuring his next action, then sighed and sat down by my feet. He took off his glasses, pinched the bridge of his nose, and tightly shut his eyes. It looked like he was preparing himself for something.
"You do know me from Middle School," he said quietly. I stared. "Thanks to your sister and Daisuke, you know pretty much everything about my past, and why I left, and what my life used to be like."
"Satoshi?" I didn't really need to ask that question, but I guess I just wanted clarification. "Satoshi Hiwatari?"
"Hikari," he corrected, opening his eyes with a little bit of hope. "It's Satoshi Hikari. I was adopted, remember?"
Yeah, I remembered. He was adopted by his stepdad, that abused him, and was pretty much forced to succeed. "Y-yes..." It was then that the lightbulb finally went on. The anger rose rather quickly and I glared, my mouth falling open. "Y-you... you lied to me!" Before I could think, I punched his arm and moved my legs so I could get closer. He grimaced in pain. "You pretended like you didn't even know me! And you lied to me! And you were mean! And ignorant! And... you lied to me!" I swatted him over the head and he cringed. My mouth opened and closed, wanting to shout horrible things, but nothing came out. I was simply appalled.
"I know..." was Satoshi's pitiful reply.
"Yeah, I know you know!" I hit him again and let out a squeal/scream/grunt of exasperation. I crossed my arms, postitioned myself so I was sitting as he was (legs off of the couch, spine to the back of the couch), and glared at the vent across the room. I was shaking with anger, mumbling things about Satoshi and his overflowing ability to be hated with every fiber of my being... I could tell that Daisuke and my sister were staring at us, probably feeling the most awkward they have ever felt in their lives, but they said nothing. A few seconds later, Riku mumbled something about tea and ran off into the kitchen, dragging her boyfriend with her.
That left us in pure...
inevitable...
dead...
silence.
"I'm sorry," Satoshi finally said.
"Yeah, right," I mumbled under my breath. I may have been harsh, but... when I'm angry, I say things I don't mean. I then whirled on him. "Why the hell did you lie to me in the first place!"
"I left Azumo Middle School because Krad was getting out of hand," Satoshi explained. "I did move to the States so no one would know me, but my father ordered me back. To ensure the safety of myself and my past, I changed my name. I continued my studies at a school far from Azumo, and was accepted in Tokyo U."
"What does that have to do with anything?" I snapped.
"Don't you get it?" he said, becoming a bit desperate. "Krad was awakened by nearly any emotion I felt. I had to keep myself distant. I had to ignore everyone around me. If I didn't, he would come back and hurt more and more people. He destroyed lives, Risa. Both mine and the others around me."
This managed to keep me quiet. I waited for him to continue, and was partially glad when he did.
"He is gone now," Satoshi said slowly. "I reunited with Daisuke's father in secret, and he helped me exorcise Krad. That's why I was in so much pain those past weeks before Christmas. I came back here for the break simply because I wanted to thank him." He then read my mind with god-like powers that kind of disturbed me. "And I just don't like Christmas because I never celebrated it before. My father was always too busy with work to enjoy the holidays, and, since he couldn't enjoy them, neither could I."
I couldn't say anything.
"I'm sorry," he said again. "Truly, I am. More so than I ever have been. I never meant to hurt you. It's just... I was afraid. Like I said, Krad awoke to almost any emotion I felt. When I saw you at the university, I tried to stay away, for your sake. Then you..." He sighed. "You kind of... didn't stop... pestering me..." He paused to give me a small smile, which I did not return. He saw this and his smile vanished. More awkward silence filled the room, and he continued to look at me. I didn't dare move an inch.
"I'm leaving," he said a good amount of time later. "Not just this house. I'm leaving for the States. After midterms, I'll be at the airport. I'm hoping to find... a better life somewhere else. Some place where no one, no one, knows me... so I won't hurt anyone..."
That shocked me. Why the hell couldn't I speak? Talk, damnit!
I felt his hand close around my wrist and he pulled me to my feet. I continued to stare at the floor, avoiding his gaze. Once again, we were silent, with his one hand holding mine, and the other placed on my shoulder. I felt so stupid... Then I felt his hand move from my shoulder to my chin. I shivered the tiniest bit and he moved my head. I faced him.
Good Lord, he was close. I could smell his aftershave, feel the heat coming from his face, stare so deep into those pupils I could drown...
"I'm sorry," he said for the... what, fifth time? "I'm so, so sorry." He moved.
The same security that I had felt just before I had passed out swept over me again. His head gently stayed againt mine, and I numbly pressed my face into his shirt. I closed my eyes and breathed. I could feel his breath on my hair, his arm across my shoulder, the cloth of his shirth between my fingers, his other arm around my waist, the one hand stroking my hair. And we stood like that, in this tight... strangely meaningful embrace. It felt so...
Nice.
We eventually drew apart from each other and... well... I could only stare at him and vice versa. His hand brushed my cheek and he smiled sadly.
"I will miss you... Risa."
Then he was gone. He just turned and left. Just like that. No good-bye, no dramatic speech, no... kiss. Not like that's what I wanted, but usually that's what happened. The guy kisses the girl as his one last good-bye, or... something cheesy like that. He doesn't just leave her right in the middle of everything!
And I didn't even say anything! It was like all I could do was remain silent! While he hugged me, I was silent. While he stared at me, I was silent. When he... touched me like that, I was silent. When he left... I was silent. When Riku and Daisuke came back, asking where he had gone, I was silent. When I walked away to my room, shut and locked the door, I was silent.
And when I cried myself to sleep... I was silent.