Chapter Six

"Who's this?" Alex asked pointing to a picture of him as a baby in the arms of an old woman. He was sitting with his mother, who was still in bed, and she was showing him his baby pictures.

"That is your great-grandmother." Sam answered.

"Are there any pictures of your parents, my grandparents with me?"

"No," Sam hated when her son asked questions about his grandparents. Usually she would quickly change the subject, today she just hoped he didn't ask any more about them.

"Didn't you live with them? When I was a baby, you were only 15 after all." Alex said.

"I moved out when I was pregnant, my parents didn't approve. Let's see what other pictures we have here." She answered turning the page of the photo album.

"Did my grandparents ever see me?" Alex continued, he was not going to give up this time, he wanted to know why he never saw them or heard about them.

Sam sighed, Alex was watching her patiently waiting for an answer, she didn't like talking about her parents and how they had cut her out of their life.

"No, they didn't. They blamed me for getting pregnant and so I went to live with my grandmother. My parents never came to see me again."

"I'm sorry" Alex whispered.

"For what?"

"It's because of me that you had to leave your mom and dad, if you hadn't had me you would still talk to them today."

"Alex, I don't regret having you. And as for my parents, I think they're the ones missing out, they never got to meet their wonderful grandson. I've got you, that's all that matters."

Alex was quiet for a few moments. Sam hoped he didn't blame himself, she didn't blame him. She blamed her parents and Steve on the good days, and herself on the bad days. Sure when he was born she pretty much blamed her little baby for everything, but it wasn't long til she realised that Alex had done nothing wrong.

"You know that's it not your fault, right?" Sam asked him.

Alex just shrugged.

"It's not, I would never say that it was. And I'm your mom, so I know these things." Sam said as she swept her son into a hug before he could protest.

"Why do people always leave?"

Sam drew back from Alex, astonished at the question he had just asked. Is that how he felt? That people always leave in the end? She couldn't blame him really, she felt the same most of the time.

"What makes you ask that?"

Alex shrugged. "Your mom and dad left, my dad left, Luka left. Why do they do that?"

"I don't know, Alex, I really don't." She had asked herself the same question so many times, she never could find an answer to that.

"But you know, I'll never leave, I promise! And I hope that you'd never leave me, so we have each other if nothing else."

"Yeah," Alex smiled, "And we also have my little sister." He added pointing to his mother's stomach.

"See, and she won't leave either."

"I wish Luka didn't go, then she would have her dad around."

"Maybe he will be there for her" Sam offered not sounding very sure.

"You don't believe that!" Alex retorted.

There was another silence. Sam was thinking of how wonderful it would have been to have one child whose father cared enough to be around. Alex was thinking of his dad, no matter how many times his dad left he still just wanted his dad to love him. His friend, Austen, had his dad around to take him to soccer practice and to play baseball with, he just wished he had that.

"I got another letter from dad."
"What did he have to say," Sam said holding her breath slightly.

"Not much. Why doesn't he want to be around me? He never stays with us for long, doesn't he want me?"

Sam was so not prepared for that question. What was she supposed to say? That his dad was a drug addict/alcoholic and that's why he was never around, because he would rather be high than to be with his son?

"I wish that he was around you more, I wish that he could see you as I see you. Cause if he did, then I know he would never leave. I don't know how he can even consider it, he has a great son, he just can't always see it. He does love you, I want you to remember that."

Alex just looked at her, she knew that Steve always had a tendency to hurt Alex, and it was always up to her to pick up the pieces.

"If I had my wish, I would give you a better dad. One that does all the things a dad should do." She added.

"What happened with you and dad? Why didn't you stay together?"

Sam thought back to when they did live with Steve. She remembered the arguments, the drinking, the drugs and she remembered the beatings. Sometimes it wasn't too bad, others . . . . . she'd rather not think of those times. She could hardly tell Alex the truth, it's not something he'd want to hear. Maybe when he was older she'd tell him. Or maybe not, did he really need to know what his dad used to do to her behind closed doors?

"We just weren't meant to be, I suppose." She answered, it was true enough.

Alex turned his attention back to the photo album, he never could get a truthful answer from his mother about his dad. It was just something he supposed he would never learn the truth about. He went to the back of the album and found a picture of him on his third birthday, he was sitting at the table with the cake in front of him and his dad was on one side and his mom on the other. He noticed that his mom's arm was in a sling, and she looked like she had a slightly bruised cheek.

"What happened to you here?" he asked.

"How am I supposed to remember?" she answered. "Shouldn't you be getting breakfast? Carter will be wanting to take you to the park soon"

Alex jumped off the bed and muttered an agreement, he wasn't sure why his mom was being so secretive about a broken arm that happened eight years ago. He shook his head she could be so mysterious at times.

Sam breathed a sigh of relief as her son left the room. She remembered Steve breaking her arm quite vividly, he had come home high and wanting sex. When she refused, he should her what he thought of it. That was most definitely not something she wanted to tell Alex.

Susan took one look at the mess around her and then over to where Cosmo was asleep on Chuck's lap. The two men in her life, each one as messy as the other. She laughed slightly and went over to the phone. She picked it up and dialled, on the second ring Sam answered.

"Hello?"

"Hi Sam, it's Susan. I'm just calling to see how you're doing?"

"Hi Susan, I'm feeling good. I'm getting used to this whole resting thing, Alex is actually doing things for me! I could get used to this."

Susan laughed down the phone. "How are you finding living at Carter's?"

"Well," Sam answered, "I think I made a good choice in deciding to crash at my friend the millionaire's house. It's a fantastic house. It was strange last night, I had fallen asleep in front of the TV and woke to find Carter beside me and he had put a blanket over me. He'd even fed Alex and told him not to disturb me, he's been great."

"You heard from Luka?"

"No, I guess he really doesn't want me."

"I'm sorry," Susan was unsure of how to comfort her friend.

"The worst thing is that Alex was really upset, he thinks that people just keep leaving him. His dad does all the time, and now Luka. He's upset, I can tell, he's just not able to show it."

"Poor kid!"

"I know, you want the best for your children but . . . . . there's nothing I can do about it, that makes it harder. I so want to fix it for him."

"I know, I feel the same about Cosmo. What are you doing today?"

"Nothing, Carter said I should stay home and rest, doctors orders, and he's taking Alex out to the park for an hour or two. I am also not to do any unpacking, you'd think I was an invalid!"

"Enjoy it while it lasts! I'm not doing anything later, if you want me to come over. We can sit around and bitch about men, or whatever you want, and eat chocolate."

"Sounds good, the chocolate and the bitching about men, I have to go, Alex is gesturing about something. I'll talk to you later!"

They hung up. Susan looked back over at Chuck and Cosmo, she was so lucky. Sam didn't have any support from Alex's dad when she had him. Chuck really was a night in shining armour. She went over to him, took Cosmo out of his lap and placed him in his play pen. Then she kissed Chuck.

"Thank you" she said

"What's all this about?" he asked, "Not that I'm complaining"

"Just, I love you. That's all."

"In that case, I love you too." He said kissing her back.

Luka was in the park. He turned around and smiled as he saw his wife, Sam, pushing their daughter on the swing. Alex was on a bench playing his gameboy; his family. He'd do anything for them. Sam looked up and saw him and she waved. She got their daughter to wave at him as well; his daughter's face lit up when she saw her father. Luka had never been so happy, it was a beautiful day.

He made his way over to them. Reaching Sam first he kissed her and then picked up his little girl and twirled her around in the air. Sam took the child back and asked him to get her bag which was under a tree, and he went over and picked it up.

When he turned back the park was empty and his family was no where to be seen. He ran everywhere trying to find them, yelling Sam's name over and over again. He couldn't find them. He went back to where they had been last and when he reached to swing he saw them, they were all lying there, blood everywhere. He fell onto his knees and cradled their lifeless bodies.

Luka woke up in a sweat, yelling Sam's name. It took him a moment to realise where he was, he was on his own bed, still wearing the clothes he had on the day before. He looked at the clock, he must have slept the whole night. In his hand he noticed the picture, and then he remembered. His baby was alive. He couldn't shake the dream out of his head though, it was more of a nightmare though. He knew all too well what it was like to really find you're loved ones in that state. He was not going to give up, not when there was still time to fix everything.

"Do you have any brothers or sisters?"

Carter had been out with Alex for an hour at this stage, he was getting used to the kid, he was even getting quite fond of him. It would talk a while longer to get used to the constant questioning though.

"I had one brother, he died."

"Oh," Alex said. "Did your parents stay together or did they divorce?"

"My parents are divorced."

"My parents aren't together either," Alex said, "My dad isn't around much."

Carter kinda felt sorry for Alex, his dad didn't sound like a great guy.

"So what do you think my mom would like?"

Carter was also still getting used to how quick Alex would change the subject.

"I don't know, I'm sure she'll love whatever you get her."

"Yeah. She's going to be ok, isn't she? And the baby?"

"Your mom will be fine, and the baby should be ok. She'll just have to take it easy for a while."

"Ok, let's look in here."

And with that Alex was in the shop before Carter realised it.

Sam was just finished watching When Harry Met Sally, she thought that watching it might make her feel better, it turned out the opposite was true. Seeing Harry and Sally get together at the end of the movie only made her feel bitter. Things never worked out for her like that! She found herself cursing Hollywood for making people believe they too could have their happily ever after. She sure as hell didn't get hers.

The doorbell rang then, and she found herself being snapped out of her thoughts. She made her way to the door, wondering who could be at the door. She got to the door and said a small prayer that it wasn't some religious person trying to convert her, or someone trying to sell her stuff. She was so not in the mood to have to deal with that.

She opened the door and her heart stopped for a moment as she saw Luka standing on the doorstep.