Almost the Last Chapter

Almost the last chapter of World War 3, Oi...this fiction is driving me nuts now.

disclaimer: dont own inuyasha or any characters else from the show.

Jakotsu looked down and realized that the woman didn't wet herself...it was... "Holy bloody hell!" He backed away from her like a gazelle spooking from a cheetah, and raised his hands in offense. "Okay, okay...I'm just gonna...run to my house...and...uh...get my cell phone and...stuff. You dont move."

And he ran out the door, oblivious to the fact that a phone was right near the front door in case of an emergency...

Jakotsu/Miroku's house...

(on the phone...)

"Eeek!" Jakotsu screamed into the phone like a little girl and then totally changed his voice so that it sounded like a house wife from Alabama. (or like my Mom. : P) He held the phone away from him and pretended he was somewhere else... "Honey, look up the number for 911! I don't care which breathin' excersizes ya do, just hold it!" And he went back to the phone. "Sir, or ma'am, we gotta problem...ya see, mah wife is in labor!"

Once again he held the phone away from him and screamed as the housewife. "Goshem, Miss Scarlet, I don't know nothin' bout birthin' no babies!"

Back to the phone. "Sir, I think...-- I THINK WE HAVE A HEAD!"

"where do you live?"

"Um...1278 Farmer's Tan, ah, gotta go, click!"And he hung up and whispered to himself. "I so shouldda joined drama club."

The front door to the mansion opened again, but with more of a hussle. Jakotsu ran in, panting. "Kag...where...are you?" He stood up straight from his previous crouch to catch his breath and looked around. "I called the police or whatever, they're comin' I think...Kagome?" Jakotsu slowly walked, no crawled on the floor around the house calling out the woman's name as if she were a puppy or pet.

"Kagomeeeeeeee? Where are youuuuu?" Sighing in frustration, he stood up and whipped his head around for any sight of the woman.

Then his gaze locked at the hard wood stairs leading up to the bedrooms and 2nd floor. But, among the hard wood was a long, thick trail of reddish pink goopy slop, that dripped off of the steps. Jakotsu looked at the mess and he was to throw up, but swallowed it down, and cringed. "Well..." He started up the stairs. "This is very convenient."

He wasn't looked where he stepped and then he felt the slimy, warm, goop touch his foot. Jakotsu's eyes widened and he slowly looked down to see the slime dripping off of his right foot. "...ugh...that's just...wonderful...ew..." Then he finally figured out what it might've come from... (his brain was running a little slow.) "Ew! Oh, my GOD! I can't believe I just stepped in something which probably came out of Kagome's ass!"

In the middle of spasing/grossing out, he lost his balance on the stairs...The only reaction he made to the lost balance was waving his arms wildly by his sides, trying to fly...but...

...no avail.

Bam!

The man just lay there, in a puddle of the slime, staring up at the ceiling, just...staring. He wasn't thinking anything, and he didn't move...or blink. Jakotsu was frozen solid. Then, he made a living reaction; He just barely exhaled in a lost breath.

"...ugg...o-...ow."

He laid there for about 7 minutes until he finally was breathing normal again. Jakotsu groaned as he leaned up into a sitting position and could feel the metal rod in his back just vibrate...it hurt like hell. Ignoring the pain, he stood...slowly and tried to look at his back. The dark robe that he wore...was soaking in the slime. "Some how I'm gonna get killed this year..." He muttered as he ripped the robe off and threw it down into the now smaller puddle.

This time, he was careful about running up the stairs, and he didn't fall. Once he reached the top, he did his own litle victory dance, but then went back to following the trail of slime, which began to get darker and thicker. "That's just pleasant." He said as he found the end of the trail, which lead into the large KING sized room which Kagome and Inuyasha shared.

Jakotsu stared in at Kagome. The woman was curled up against the back of the bed and was biting her lip, and clenching her joints. "Oh, mother of God..." he muttered as he walked in to see her condition closer. She had blood all over the king sized bed, and I mean ALL OVER. There were a few things broken on the ground from where she made her stumbling steps across the room.

"Kag?" He asked, leaning to get close to her face that seemed to be growing the color of hot pink. "You okay...? I called the police, and they might be here." He got no answer. "Kagomeeee?"

Suddenly, her dormant look changed as the darkness of hell was written all over her face. "You..." She grabbed his collar as her shoulders trembled. Jakotsu looked down into her darkened face and whimpered. "BASTARD!" She screamed, and let go of his collar, only to let him slide off of the bed onto the floor. "It friggin' hurts and you're not doing anything to comfort me!"

Jakotsu immediately sat up from his position on the floor and reached over, grabbing her shoulders. "Kagome...Kagome..." the woman wouldn't settle down. "KAG!" The woman looked at him and he sighed. "Okay...I kind of have an experience in ganucaligy, so just bear with me. Okay, I think that when one of those pains...contractions come, then you need to breathe in your nose out your month, sort of like a horse."

"I'm not a horse!"

"I know that, so just...settle down!"

"How can I settle down when I know you've failed health for 3 years in a row?"

"Fine, it was 4. But, I promise you...we will get through it.

Oh, my God, that chapter drove me crazy...please R&R i really need it...

-Ididntdoit07