Chapter 1: Rude Awakening
He was dreaming. From atop the hill he surveyed the countryside, sparkling in a way he'd never had the capacity to appreciate before. The houses below drifted in an emerald ocean like blissful castaways. Trees flirted wildly with the wind, waving like banners as the morning birds sang their gay fanfare. And above it all, he was king.
For him the flowers bloomed, the sun beckoned home. Beneath his bare feet the cool grass bent in humility. A shy smile lit across his soft features, and he delighted to feel them tickled by wisps of palomino hair. As he turned to experience the splendor of his kingdoms from all sides, an ominous presence drained all light from the land.
The building stood decrepit and abandoned, in sharp contrast to the once pleasurable atmosphere. That it had known joy, even though long ago was hard to believe. And then he remembered.
It was down there.
Suddenly the earth opened under him, and he was below the house. In a spacious concrete tomb, it loomed in the corner. His shell. His prison. His punishment. That which mocked what it meant to be human. The boy blinked in disbelief, and in half a breath it had him. He was swallowed before the protesting screams could escape his throat. Writhing within his sapient cage his skin lost all sensation, taste and smell turned to deserters, organs ceased to function. And still he was forced to live, to endure the imitation of life itself.
Just as the encroaching darkness began to settle upon his existence, Alphonse awoke with a start. It was the third time this week he'd had to tear himself from the past. Hesitantly he drew a trembling hand across his brow, gathering the cold beads of fear sweat. Sweat. God-given proof. He was here, and he was real. Their journey was over. They were home.
Breathing a heavy sigh of relief, Al threw off the covers to place his feet on the cold floor. He hugged himself the early morning chill, shakily rising. The floor was closer than he last remembered, but still farther than he'd expected it to be. Retrieving their bodies had been the ultimate prize, so neither had given much thought to how old Al's would be. A full five years older than when it had been lost. Everything seemed new. Which was fine with him.
Though he was still a bit distraught, and so decided to seek a bit of familiar comfort. Edward dozed in the next guest bed, only a few feet away. He snored slightly, one arm thrown behind his head. Al felt foolish climbing in next to his brother as old as he was, but assured himself it was only for a short while. The nightmares would end as soon as his mind became reacquainted with his body. He tiptoed across the room as quietly as he remembered how, kneeling at the bedside.
"Brother?" he pleaded in a hushed voice. "Brother?" He raised his voice half a note, gently nudging Ed's shoulder. Ed groaned, squinting his eyes open. Rubbing a hand down his face while staring at the ceiling, he grumbled a response.
"Yeah, Al?" His tone suggested that he was neither interested nor indifferent. Al took it as an invitation, having not been ignored. He slipped carefully under the thin blanket, curling up against Ed's side.
"It was the basement again," he fearfully explained. "And…and the…" he choked back the next word, unwilling yet to face it. Edward was pained by his little brother's plight, and wrapped his right arm around him. To be able to feel another's warmth through that arm made him all the more accepting of this minor disturbance. To feel Al's skin again, to see his smile nearly made him forgive the world.
Without even trying, Al had slipped back under the weight of sleep. His breathing had slowed, and Ed felt the heavy mist of it forming on his bare chest where Al had laid his head. Ed's hair was loose across the pillow, and though several shades lighter than his brother's it was hard to tell in the pre-dawn light where his ended and Al's began.
Al was absentmindedly twirling Ed's locks in his spindly fingers, and had begun to mumble incoherently. Ed could only make out a couple of words, but was particularly struck by one.
"…mom…"
Tensing for a split second, Ed pulled him closer protectively. It had been a rough couple of weeks for everyone. Al especially had trouble readjusting, having literally come back to life. But they were well on their way to normalcy, and these thoughts helped ease Edward back to sleep.
For about fifteen minutes.
Ed drearily became aware of something jabbing his side as Al tossed and turned a bit.
"Heeeyyy…" Ed tiredly drew out. Neither of them had opened their eyes, but Ed concluded that if he could speak, Al could hear.
"Mmm?" So he could.
"Quit poking me." He spoke more clearly now, annoyance growing.
"…mm…not." The denial brought Ed's irritation to the point or waking him, and he decided to prove it. Lifting the blanket to catch Al in the act, however, had proven to be a bad idea.
"Yes you--" His eyes widened, thoroughly disturbed by what they saw. Now he was completely awake. "DUDE!" He violently yanked the blanket, simultaneously shoving Al into the floor. Al yelped loudly, now also in his waking hours, though forced.
"What was that for!" he cried from his undignified position, splayed out on the floor. It was then that he noticed the blonde shreds in his hand. At the sight of them Ed rubbed a stinging, tender spot on his head. Al stared quizzically at the strands for a moment before Ed shouted again, pointing and accusatory finger.
"Not cool!" After realizing where the hair had come from, Al apologized, thinking it the reason for this outburst.
"Sorry, Brother. I didn't even know I'd had a hold of it. I'll sleep with my back to you next ti--" the words caught in his throat as focus was drawn to the uncomfortable tug between his legs. Ed's actions were made sharply clear.
"Damn straight you will!" His rage, however, had just begun. "You'll be lucky if I even let you sleep in the same room ever again!" Al bolted upright, blushing furiously and stretching his long t-shirt down as far as it would go so as to cover his shame. Sitting in embarrassed shock, he had tuned out Ed's continuing rants until he heard angry footsteps storming down the hall.
His vulnerability reaching its peak, Al asked help from the only person he could, but first he had to get a word in.
" AND IF YOU THINK YOU KNEW WHAT AN ASS KICKIN' WAS BEFORE--"
"Brother!" Al interjected. "Someone's coming! What do I do!" Edward clearly hadn't expected a plea for help, as he appeared more confused than either of them were accustomed to. He cocked his head to one side, mouth slightly agape. "Edward!" Al begged, pulling his knees as close to his chest as possible, painfully restricting the unwelcome erection. Ed's loose hair was still clenched in one fist.
Full use of his name, coming from Al no less, had gained Ed's undivided attention. The situation was dawning clearly on him now. His little brother was becoming a man. And had no idea what the hell to do about it. The words rolled through his mind like the laughs did from his mouth. He chuckled. He barked. He guffawed. All the while with a degrading finger pointed at Al, who was thoroughly disgusted with his elder's immature display.
Patience wearing dangerously thin, Al leapt to his feet in outrage. "IT'S NOT FUNNY DAMMIT!" He had balled the fist which still grasped the torn golden thread, and now held it threateningly close to his brother's nose. The laughter had ended abruptly, Ed staring down cross eyed at Al's trembling weapon of choice.
Sighing in defeat, Ed patted Al's cheek in an attempt at brotherly comforting. "Sorry, bud." It half worked, Al recoiling his fist and wiping the hair from his palm. His scowl, however, remained adamant.
"You really suck sometimes, brother."
Edward snorted in disgust. "Since when?" The response was automatic.
"Since I've been taller than you, which has been always."
"EXCUSE ME!" Ed cried indignantly. His wounded pride was ignored.
"Now help me! Please!" Al begged, anger subsiding. He'd place both hand over his crotch, trying to subdue the source of this predicament. "Something's wrong with it! With me!"
Ed ground his teeth in frustration. How could he not understand what was going on? "I swear, Al!" he growled in exasperation. "What is the big-"
"EDWARD!" A forceful gust blew through as the door was thrown open, enough to nearly knock both boys to the floor. In the doorway stood a disheveled Winry, bleary eyed and hair matted, fresh from her own bed. This was made most obvious by her attire. The shortest of pajama shorts and a loose nightshirt, breasts clearly uninhibited by a bra of any kind. This did not help Alphonse. Rather, it worsened things. She was intimidating nonetheless.
"What the hell is your problem, waking the whole house!"
"Me!" He leapt at her defensively. "Why am I always the fist person you blame? Al could knock you up and it would somehow be my fault!"
"Because you have the biggest mouth! Probably trying to compensate for your height."
"WHO'RE YOU CALLIN' BITE SIZED!" All manner of veins could be seen throbbing in his head and neck.
"Will you two stop it!" Al said sternly, catching Winry's attention. She had already begun to voice a response before noticing how strange it was for Al to be huddling.
"Al, I don't see how you put up with-" His reason became apparent, and Winry immediately turned and left, flushed with shock and embarrassment. "Oh dude." Edward stalked angrily after her, yelling.
"You better run! And put a bra on before you put someone's eye out!"
"Brother!" Al squeaked from behind, still hunched over in an effort to hide his Winry-induced excitement.
"Right…" Ed sighed, running a hand through his mangled hair. "Oh God, I can't believe I have to give you 'the Talk'".
"What talk!" Al yelped, becoming increasingly frightened at his body's sudden mutiny. A tiny light bulb went off in Ed's mind, a wry smile crossing his face. For the rude awakening he'd received that morning, there must be retribution. Equivalent exchange! He was going to mess with Al, and make sure it scarred him for life.
Masking the plan as best he could, Ed turned to the hormone stricken teen, expression dark, and placed and hand on Al's shoulder. "Well," he quietly began, "I'm afraid Al, that…it's going to explode." Al's eyes bulged in horror.
"WHAT!"
Ed opened his mouth to further the charade, but before he could utter one more lie a deafening roar from downstairs made his blood run cold.
"EDWARD. ALPHONSE. DOWNSTAIRS. NOW."
"teacher!" they eeped simultaneously. Ed wasted no time. Still clad only in loose canvas pants, he turned tail a fled, loose hair fluttering behind like a traitor's flag, leaving a severely distraught Al in his wake.
"Sorry Al!" he called without remorse. "Every man for himself!" It took a moment for Al's mouth to catch up with his mind, then he finally called back.
"But what do I do! I can't go down there like this! What do I-"
"Just the truth! Tell teacher you thought of her and exploded!"
"But I just got my body back!"