I don't own any of the characters or places below.

Thank you to heartsoblivion, Unita, Vratix, and Emmy19 for reviewing and giving me ideas of what to do. Read on my friends.

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Shadow Feather: Chapter 16

Altered Eyes

(see me again, but different)

Something inside me fell away as the brunette exited the stadium. A large lump of anxiety faded away. Some lump in my gut dissipated and left me feeling freer than I had ever felt in my life. For once, things weren't in my hands anymore. It wasn't up to me to see things fall into place. I wasn't the villain with the master plan anymore. I wasn't the hero with the mission. I wasn't responsible for what was to come. No matter what happened, it wouldn't be my fault.

With each breath I felt myself shed years of tension and responsibility. From the moment I picked up Masamune, I had always been in charge. I was released from the Soldier training camp by age six and by the time I turned eight I had my own regiment under me. I led those men into and out of death thousands of times. I was always responsible for them. That tension got to me in the end and I retreated from everyone. President Shinra took away my place as a general and put me into solo missions. The missions were just as difficult if not more so than the missions I had taken with a team.

Even then, working alone on the battle field, that responsibility came back to me. Assassinations and important "delegations and transactions" were assigned to me. Each one was of utmost importance for Shinra. And what was good for Shinra, was good for the people. I remember now the nightmares I would have back then. I was only a teenager. By all means I should have killed myself from the pressure but instead I fell deeper and deeper into insanity. I couldn't stop myself and became a cold and ruthless killer.

After the war with Wutai, I decided I could take no more. I remember marching into the large office of the President and demanding that he take me off the roster for S-class missions. We argued for some time but he let it go before I got violent. He started to put me on simple missions. "Investigate the claims of abnormal youth rebellion in X town." "Oversee the transportation of this somewhat important piece of machinery." Simple things like that.

After some time I began to allow Shinra to give me subordinates again. The military provided me with soldiers and Soldier would occasionally lend one of their members my way to see "the great general Sephiroth." Things were going well. Then I got my last order.

"There has been suspicious activity in one of the abandoned Mako reactors near Nibelheim. There have been reports of monsters as well. Zack will be accompanying you as well as your usual contingent of military personnel. I wish you luck."

Those were the last words President Shinra spoke to me. I took off without a word. Zack entertained the rest of the soldiers and I rode up front in the truck. It didn't take long to reach the small ghost town. We ran into minimal resistance with monsters…or maybe I was just too strong to give it any notice. We got into town. Cloud wanted to see his family. After spending the night, we took off with our young guide.

The bridge broke that day and we spent a couple more hours taking the long route through the mountains. After a long time we reached the Mako reactor. What we found inside…god I will never forget. Even now I look at my hands and wonder what allowed me turn out how I am and not like the things in those capsules. Zack and I discovered terrible mutated creatures inside capsules of the Nibelheim reactor. When I saw them something snapped inside me and I knew even without understanding how, that I could have been like them. All the members of Soldier were doused with light rays of Mako to help unlock more combat potential. But it was things like these that were exposed to much more. And I knew that I had been just like them.

In a rage I retreated to basement of the Shinra mansion. The tension of who I was and the responsibility I had toward others came smashing down on my shoulders at the same time from different directions. I couldn't hold it all. I broke. I snapped and gave in and tried to put all my faults on the far stronger shoulders of Jenova. I went to her, knowing what I was. Seeking answers. Seeking something beyond the meager notes and observations in the basement of that hellhole.

What I found was just what I wanted. A purpose. Something to take my mind off everything I was and everything I had to do. Every choice I had to make was now so clear because someone else was making them for me. It was everything I had every wanted. It didn't matter that the choices were obviously wrong. It didn't matter that I was rotting away on the inside from the crushing blows to my conscience. All that mattered was that I wasn't the one making those choices.

I reveled in that freedom, doing whatever she wanted as long as I got to stand back and think about nothing. In the end it wasn't freedom at all but just extra bars to some cage that I was building around myself. Is that what this is now? The same feeling of unimportance that I searched for and found before? Is Sora the new way out for me? Is making a decision so difficult? God, am I so weak?

That can't be it. It's not the same. I know it's not. This is just trusting someone else. When was the last time I did that? Am I really so self righteous that I can't recall a single time I allowed someone else to complete a task that directly effected me? In any case…I seem to turning over new leaves lately, why not the whole tree?

From across the arena, the waiting room door opened slowly. I looked toward it to see a large brown boot step out of the doorway. Above, one of my dark feathers slowly fell from the sky. It drifted slowly down from where I had disappeared from Sora's view. The boot was joined by its twin and Cloud strode purposefully through the door. He came to a stop and watched the gently floating dark feather.

The shadowy feather drifted downwards in a tiny spiral, spinning erratically in the tiny winds that came out of the door. It paused for a moment, casting a small shadow over the man's bright blue eyes. The flashed an electric azure and the shadow fled almost in fear. Dark and soft, the feather gently caressed the floor and landed without a noise.

Without thinking I stepped out from the tunnel that I stood in. My footsteps created echoes against the stone. I tread across the dirt patch and onto the beige tiles. Cloud's blazing eyes ran over my body and came to rest on my own glowing orbs. His piercing gaze sent a small shiver down my spine. I held my face and my tongue so as to betray no emotion. Cloud's lip curled slightly and he pulled the Buster Sword from its place on his back.

"So we meet at last." His voice tore through me and pulled relentlessly at my eyes, coaxing tears to well up behind them. The sadness was palpable and I felt as though I could reach out and grab it if the mood struck me. His blue eyes softened for a split second and he reached up to wipe a small tear of his own away.

I struggled fiercely against the torrent of sadness to speak without betraying my feelings. "I have been searching for you as well."

The hand gripping his sword shook violently. I could see his knuckles turn white where they were not covered by his glove. His sad eyes were overtaken with rage and hatred as he glared at me. I felt his anger toward me almost as a physical force. Nothing I could say would ever sway his opinion of me. What the hell am I supposed to do?

"As long as you exist, I can not wake from this nightmare. With you here, all I can see is darkness." Clouds voice cut and tore at my heart without relenting even for a moment. Something caught in my throat and I had to bite my tongue to keep from crying out. I'm not the same anymore. But anything I could have said would have fallen on deaf ears. Just as he had said, Cloud was blind. "You…are my darkness."

His last words bit deeper than all the others. With them came the realization that even though I could say nothing, actions do speak louder than words. Believe what you wish Cloud, I will show you who I really am.

"I was the one who drew you into darkness. It was you who realized there was never any other path for you but to walk forward into shadows. Come; let me show you what awaits even further down the path." I held my hand out to him with tears welling in my eyes. To hear myself talk like that again. To speak with true intent to harm someone else. It was too much. A single sparkling tear rolled gently down my cheek.

Cloud grabbed his Buster Sword in both hands and took a step forward. He was too enraged to see the tear, to see my true meaning behind the words I used. All around him red lightning crackled and shimmered. Small rocks began to lift from the ground.

"If this is what it takes…" I murmured.

I let my own energy pour out of me. Static shocks of blue danced all about my body. Small tremors shook the ground. The tear on my cheek evaporated as my power grew to a boil and the air around me shimmered with heat. Cloud shook his head to clear it and then leapt.

Our swords clashed and the stone beneath us cracked. Wind whirled all around and tore us from one another. Moving in unison we landed softly and whirled around to have our blades meet once again in the same deafening clang of steel. Ripples of power streaked out and created large ruptures in the stone. We broke apart again. For a moment we stood, each thinking the same thing, our power was matched, there was no hope in overpowering the other.

We once again flew at each other and began to trade tentative slashes and parries. The exchanges were light and cautious. When one would see that the blade would be blocked, they would pull away to prepare a defensive. The blades barely grazed each other with each strike. Whispers of steel on steel floated through the air of the arena. With each new attack we grew more cautious than before.

Cloud was looking desperately for some sort of opening, some sort of hole to drive his sword through. His eyes darted back and forth and the slashing walls of metal collided and pulled away once again. In a daring maneuver he drew me in with a feint and then leapt to the side of my thrusting Masamune. Whirling around me he brought the pommel of the buster sword down upon my neck.

Before I hit the ground my leg unfurled and kicked viciously out at the young man's hand. It struck and the Buster Sword flew high into the air. Cloud didn't give it a glance as it flew from his hand. Instead he kicked out with his own foot and his heel collided with the blunt edge of Masamune and sent it clattering across the stone tiles. With his cape whirling about himself he twisted in a complete 360 and brought his clawed fist smashing into my jaw.

White hot pain seared through my head but I fought through it and brought my foot up to throw Cloud head over heels across the grounds. His wing stretched out wide and he spun to land in a graceful crouch. Without any hesitation he came at me again, a whirl of flashing fists and boots. His elbow connected with my left breast as I regained my feet and sent me flying. I hit the ground on my back and saw a glint to my left. I reached out and grabbed the shimmering object from the ground.

When I regained my feet Cloud was tearing across the tiles with a gloved fist drawn back. Madness was in his eyes and as he brought his clenched hand forward I raised the sword in defense. The clawed fingers of Cloud's glove rang out against the steel of the Buster sword in my hand. We broke apart and landed on opposite sides of the arena.

Cloud stared at the sword in my hand and spat in disgusted disbelief. "What the fuck kind of trick is this?" He violently wiped a bead of sweat that was coursing down him temple. His eyes held distrust and rage at the thought of me holding his blade. "Only people who are pure of heart can hold that thing. So what trick are you playing Sephiroth?"

I glanced down at the sword and realized that Cloud was speaking the truth. Zack had told me the story of the Buster sword when he first came under my command. Only those without any wish to harm the innocent could wield it. I shouldered the sword and spat at the ground in front of me. "Maybe Zack was just screwing with you."

Cloud's eyes swirled in rage and he stepped forward, creating a small crater in the tiles from the power that emanated from him. "Don't you fucking talk about him like that!"

I whipped the blade forward and it flew toward Cloud. He didn't move an inch and the sword imbedded itself in the tile next to him. I bent down and picked up Masamune which was lying next to me. It quivered in annoyance that I had been holding another sword. "And why should you care? Is it because you feel responsible that he died?"

"Shut up."

"Just like someone else…"

"If you…

Gulping the tears back I pushed my face into a contorted grin. This was the last time I would make him feel this way. It was necessary if I wanted to keep my promise to her. I smiled and gestured widely. "Does it remind you of the Ancient?"

The tiles around Cloud exploded and disintegrated as his rage overtook him. He floated in the air, surrounded by heat shimmers as his energy sparked and emanated from him. His hair lost its shape and flailed wildly upwards with the updraft of wind. His black bat wing spread out and lost its shape, whipping and contorting in the flying pebbles. He held out his hand and the Buster sword flew to it. He grabbed it, nearly crushing the hilt with his grasp.

"That's enough!"

In the blink of an eye Cloud had crossed the arena and his blade was screaming up toward my face. His speed surprised me but I managed to teleport just as his blade bit into my side. I rematerialized with blood streaming down my side. I was standing behind Cloud as he finished his swing. Moving as fast as I could I reached out and grabbed the man from behind, holding him close to me. I buried my tear streaked face into his shoulder and held his arms to his side. He struggled in fury and kicked viciously at my shins. I held him against my chest and closed my tear filled eyes.

"I'm sorry, Cloud."

The world disappeared in front of us and was replaced by darkness. The Nexus stretched infinitely all around us. Cloud gasped and struggled even more violently. I held him tightly and we began to fly through the Nexus at breakneck speeds. Neither of us spoke and eventually Cloud stopped trying to break free. I never let go and even as the Heartless began to appear and come at us I still concentrated as hard as I could on one place.

We finally reached the destination and I let go of Cloud. He looked at me for a moment. His electric blue eyes swirled with confused emotions. For a moment he looked at me before I pushed him into the portal and into reality again. His eyes flashed once more into something of a half trusting gaze and then he blinked into reality. I remained behind in the darkness and waited for the Nexus to pull me along in its tide of destiny.

I've done everything I can…I hope it's enough.

Maybe I'll find out if everyone turned out ok someday.

For now I'll have to wait until I'm needed.

Floating forever on wings of shadow.

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Well, thanks to everyone's reviews, I have come to the conclusion that this really is the end of Shadow Feather. I am very glad that it came this far so fast. I am very proud of my work and even prouder that other people think that it was good as well. I hope everyone enjoyed reading it.

This isn't the end of Sephiroth's journey though…not at all. I have already written the first two chapters of the sequel Angel Memories which will center once again around Sephiroth. It will sort of follow him through Castle Oblivion, there will be some flashbacks to Final Fantasy 7 so if you haven't played that, shame on you and you should read it anyway because it's still pretty good. Of course, the main part will be about increasing the relationship with Riku and his interaction with the XIII order and probably DiZ as well.

Now I want to thank everyone individually who reviewed (except for Rocketto Neko because I can thank you in person) because I love you guys that much. Everyone who reviews this story after I put this up…I'm really sorry but I can't recognize you as well…if you want thankies then you should read Angel Memories, the sequel to this.

Kamikaziguy- Even though you only reviewed once, it was perhaps one of the most important. You gave me that initial push to get me in gear and I thank you for that.

Kmsaum- You did excellently by me. You were really the first person to give me multiple reviews and showed me that people read my story and read it with care as well. I am proud to be on your favorites list. You seemed to drop off after Chapter 8 so I hope you read and review the second half of the story because I really enjoy reading what you have to say and I am sure you would enjoy the writing.

Brett A. Longman- First I would like to apologize to you for giving you a negative review on your story. I meant it to be constructive criticism and I'm sorry if I came across as being sort of a Sephiroth fic writer elitist. I apologize and I can understand that you didn't choose to review my story any more. Thank you for the one you gave me though.

Generic Soda- You are one of the few people who read both Shadow Feather and Drunken Hearts and left reviews of both. I'm sorry if I got you in trouble with your brother for reading Drunken Hearts. Thank you very much for the reviews!

Lapse-Raevn- Thank you for your review! Also you were one of the first two people to review on Angel Memories, thank you for having such interest in my writing!"

F00l3Al2- Thank you as well for your review! Sorry I don't have much to say about you…

Emmy19- Although your constant questioning as to whether or not I have played CoM got somewhat bothersome, I really ad truly appreciate your reviews! You are one of the surprisingly few people who actually had a clear cut idea of where I should go at the end of this. I appreciate that a lot.

Vratix- Coming in near the end you helped me with the ending push of how to bring Shadow Feather to an end. I liked getting your reviews. You seemed to have a very intuitive view of how I was writing that other people either didn't pick up on or didn't comment on. It was good to see someone see it so clearly.

heartsoblivion- I love your story! I am really sorry I haven't gotten around to finishing reading and reviewing it. I really appreciate your reviews and then the one on Angel Memories! It's really nice to see that people are interested so much in my writing that they would move so fast to read other works. Thank you for the cookies!

Rain Raider- I was wondering when you would review. Thank you so much for reading the story. I'm glad you think I'm talented!

noname- It's clear that you put a lot of thought into your review. It was nice to hear someone who wasn't just in awe of the writing, not that that's bad at all. You helped me decrease the size of my head. I was like "8/10? I deserve more than that!" But after taking a look at your other reviews and going over my own work I am very happy with a score like that. I thank you for reading so carefully and being completely honest. Although I must disagree with you on the subject of Ansem vs. Sephiroth because Sephiroth can pwn anyone he feels like at any time. He just didn't do that in this fic because that would get boring.

Lu- Erm…thanks for the cookie?

Chosenoneknuckles- Last review before I moved onto Angel Memories! I am glad you like it!"

Xsaturnine- Perhaps you are the most important reviewer of this fic. Unbeknownst to you, I went through some very difficult nights when I just didn't want to write and couldn't for the life of me think of what to do or say. I would log onto the site with a heavy heart and lo and behold I would have a review less than a day after I updated. You made me feel special and like it was really worth it to finish this fic. I would like to know where you went after chapter 13. I miss you. In any case I hope you at least read the rest of the fic because I think you would appreciate it. Also Angel Memories when you get the chance.

Unita- My last thank you goes to you. Your reviews always made me feel warm inside…cept the first one which was short. As I reached the end of this story, hearing you say that I could actually make people cry with my writing…it shocked and amazed me…I owe a lot to you and your constant reviews. Between yourself and xsaturnine, you kept me writing this fic. I am deeply indebted to you and I hope you enjoy Angel Memories just as much, although it seems like you will, seeing as how you were the first to review! Thank you very much my Finland friend. (Just a quick personal question…do you ever listen to Stratovarius or Sonata Arctica? I love those bands and I think they come from Finland right?)