Authors note: To answer someone's question Sam is six months pregnant by this stage. And yes, I have to admit that the speech Sam gave at the end of the last chapter was taken from Buffy. I was kinda hoping nobody would notice, as I really felt it fit into the scene

Chapter Twenty Five

"Promise me you'll never leave again," Luka whispered resting his forehead against Sam's.

Sam didn't reply she wasn't sure she could anyway. Her whole body was filled with fear, she was finding it hard to breathe, never mind talk. With every time his hand moved up and down her spine, with every touch of his skin against hers; her heart beat faster, until it was all she could hear. Closing her eyes to calm herself down, Luka bent down for another kiss. The slight whiff of alcohol off Luka's breath sent her over the edge. She wasn't with Luka anymore, and it wasn't his touch she felt, his kiss upon her lips. She couldn't take it anymore.

Gathering up what little strength she could, she managed to push him off. Luka was too startled to say anything. He had been sure it was what she wanted. Watching her as she sat down on the couch and pulled her knees up to her chest, he couldn't figure out where he had gone so wrong. Moving over to her, he bent down beside her.

"I can't do it," She whispered, her voice choked with tears.

"Do what Sam?"

"I just . . . we were kissing and I know what you want, but I just can't. I'm sorry."

"Sam, you're not making sense. Just what is it that you think I want?"

She just looked at him, and the look in her eyes said it all. Luka realised immediately what she was saying, and felt like hitting himself for being so insensitive.

"I didn't want to sleep with you . . . well, I would but . . . sex isn't everything Sam. I wouldn't dream of suggesting it after what happened to you earlier. I should have realised that I was making you uncomfortable. After what happened to you, it's natural to not want to be touched."

"Rape," Sam whispered.

"Excuse me?"

"Rape, I was raped Luka. It's not just some unfortunate accident, I was raped. The least you could do is say it."

"I can't, I'm sorry but just thinking of that bastard forcing himself on you . . . . I'm sorry Sam but I just can't say it, because it kills me inside thinking about it." Tentatively, Luka reached out and took her hand. Sam entwined her fingers with his, accepting the small touch from him.

"I'm sorry," She whispered, her voice swept away at the sudden outburst of emotion from Luka.

"You have nothing to be sorry for." Luka reassured Sam.

Silence descended around them. Neither was willing to talk, afraid that words would disrupt the delicate peace that they were having. They didn't need to speak; their actions were speaking much louder than any words could have.

Sam moved away from the arm of the chair so that Luka could settle in beside her. He sat down, unsure at first at how much contact was okay, how much contact she could take right then. Their hands were still together, the one gentle touch that Luka allowed between them. She had to make the first move, if she wanted to. He didn't want her to think that he was in any way pressuring her.

Raising her eyes from the carpet, Sam found his eyes staring back at her. For the first time, she saw him look so delicate, like he could break any minute. Before, he had always been so strong. It was almost as if nothing fazed him. She knew that wasn't true, but he guarded his emotions so much it seemed that way. But now, now she saw the real Luka. The guy whose family had all died, the guy who had lived through such heartache and pain, who had lived through torture. The guy who loved and cared for her more than any other guy ever had. Steve never looked at her that way. That's when she realised that Luka would never hurt her. Whatever her past experiences with men had taught her, Luka was different from all them. He really loved her. Taking a deep breath, Sam moved closer to Luka, resting her head on his shoulder. He wasn't Steve, he never was going to be Steve, and she knew it was time she started really believing that.

Not a word between them was spoken, not a single sound uttered. Luka just smiled as Sam cuddled into him and put his arm around her. For the first time in months, both of them felt at peace. It was a peace that they would only ever find in each other. After all they'd been through over such a short period; it was nice to know that they had each other again.

"Did you miss me?" Sam asked timidly. Not that she'd ever admit it out loud, or even to herself, but she needed to hear him say the words. And above all, she needed to see that he was willing to open up to her, just a little bit at a time. She needed to know he trusted her.

"I missed you more than I thought I'd ever miss another person ever again. The fact that I still saw you nearly every day, but couldn't touch you, talk to you; it hurt so much Sam."

His answer was so heartfelt; Sam couldn't help but be moved. She let the tear fall down her cheek without wiping it away.

"Is that why you drank?" She could smell alcohol in the apartment and there was the faintest whiff of it off his breath.

"Yeah," Luka replied, letting out the breath he had been holding. "I found it was the only way to numb the pain, the only way I could make it through the day." He kept his gaze fixed on the wall facing him. He didn't want to see her reaction. Given how Steve was he wasn't so sure she'd be thrilled to have another boyfriend with a drinking problem. He couldn't blame her if she felt that way.

To his surprise, she sat up beside him, and taking his face in her hands, forced him to look right at her. He didn't find any animosity in her, just concern. She leant forward and planted a soft kiss on his lips.

"Thanks," she whispered.

"What for?"

"For being honest with me, it's all I've ever wanted from you."

"So it doesn't bother you that I've been relying on drink?" Luka couldn't quite believe that she was okay with the whole situation.

"I assume you won't be continuing on like that, right?" It worried her slightly that he'd turn into another Steve, drinking all the time, loving alcohol more than her. At the same time she knew that Luka was stronger than that. Besides, the fact that he'd been honest with her was a good sign.

"No, I don't want to be that way. And I won't need to be, not now that I have a reason to be happy."

Sam smiled at Luka, feeling another tear slip quietly down her cheek. Luka wiped it off, his hand lingering on her cheek, gently caressing it. He moved closer to her, and kissed her on the forehead.

"It's really late," Luka whispered, "you need your sleep. I'll let you have the bed, and we'll talk more in the morning."

Reluctantly Sam stood up, he was right, it had been a long day and she could do with a few hours' sleep. He'd still be there in the morning.

"Come with me?" She made it a question.

"Are you sure? Because I don't mind sleeping on the sofa if you want me to."

"More than anything I don't want to be alone right now."

Sam settled down in Luka's bed wearing one of Luka's T-shirts since she had no bed clothes with her. For the first time in months, she felt relaxed. She wasn't as worried as she had been. Things weren't really fixed between her and Luka, but they were together and that was a good start.

She turned around as Luka got into the bed beside her. While she had been changing he had caught sight of the bruise on her back, not to mention further scars on her arms, most of them fresh. Settling down beside her, he pulled her as close to him as possible, keeping his arm protectively around her.

"Are you okay?" Sam asked sensing that something was bothering him.

"The bruise on your back," he began, "did Steve do that?"

Sam couldn't answer him; she could only confirm his suspicions with a nod. To her surprise tears welled up in his eyes as he clenched his fists.

"I'm so sorry Sam." He whispered as the tears started to fall down his cheeks.

"It's not your fault Luka." It was the only thing she could think of to say. She didn't know how to react to Luka's apology, his guilt. No one had ever acted that way.

"How long has he . . . .?" Luka paused before finishing the question knowing that he wasn't going to like the answer. "How long has Steve been hitting you?"

"Are you asking me when the first time he hit me was?" Sam replied, her voice emotionless. It wasn't something she wanted to discuss with Luka, or with anyone really for that matter. But, she knew she had to be more open with Luka.

Luka nodded, words failing him. He had guessed for a long time before they had broken up that Steve had hit her in the past. But now that he was going to hear the whole truth, while having the evidence of what he'd done to her in front of him, he knew that from now on he couldn't deny the truth, couldn't pretend that Sam didn't live through that.

"The first time he hit me was just after I'd found out I was pregnant with Alex. He wanted sex, I didn't and he . . . . he slapped me across the cheek." A vivid memory of that first time flashed through her mind. She could remember every detail. She had never expected it, had been so shocked at the time. He was all apologies the next day.

"Jesus Christ Sam, you were only fifteen!" Luka clenched his fists even tighter.

"We don't have to talk about this if it's going to upset you."

"I hate thinking of him hurting you like that. He's left his marks all over you." Tears kept falling down his cheeks. His only comfort was that Steve would never get the chance to touch Sam again, he wouldn't let that happen.

"Luka, I'm still me, still the woman you fell in love with. I haven't changed. The bruises will fade." Sam answered as she wiped the tears from Luka's cheeks.

"Just like they faded all the other times, right?" The anger was evident in his voice, his accent growing thicker the more emotional he became. He could hear her saying the words, but when he looked at her all he could see where the marks Steve had left behind on her delicate flesh. His hand was clenched so hard his finger nails were digging into his skin. If Steve was there right then . . . . . but he wasn't. Luka unclenched his hand and laid it against Sam's cheek, noticing her worried expression.

"I didn't mean to upset you," he said. "It just make me angry thinking about it."

"So, let's just think of something else for know, okay?"

"Sounds good to me." Luka smiled at Sam, pushing aside all his dark emotions. He had her with him, and it was about time he focused on that rather than on Steve.

Sam smiled back, and taking his hand she placed it on her stomach, giving him a silent reminder of the good things they had to think about. As if on cue, her daughter kicked with all her might, causing Sam to give out a small cry of surprise.

"Wow," Luka said pulling back his hand as if he'd been shot. "Is she always that forceful?"

"She has her moments." Sam replied. "Here," she took his hand again, "she's kicking again."

They stayed like that for a while, Luka's hand on her stomach. He couldn't believe he'd almost missed out on all of this, in the midst of everything, he had nearly forgotten how great it felt to know you've created a life. He was determined not to miss another minute.

"I love you Sam, and I promise I'll do everything in my power to make things right." He said looking at her face only to realise that she was fast asleep and hadn't heard him speak. He just turned off the light and settled down to sleep, putting his arm protectively around her.