Bregman's Brainwave: The Daring Adventures of Major Science and Colonel Memo.

AN: Just an idea that popped into my fraun a while back. I wrote it about a year ago, so if it's still funny to anyone let me know. I just figured Bregman was sooo annoying that he wouldn't give up that easy.

Oh, and btw, Janet's not dead, because i love her and she shouldnt be. So there.

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"After everything you've been through together?" Bregman smiled.

There was a story here. A truly brilliant story. Better than some poxy stargate, with infinite worlds and galaxies. Better than a military run top secret government organisation that is classified to most of the world.

"Have you ever heard the expression opposites attract?"

Oh yeah, she was nervous all right. There had to be more here. He was sure of it. He'd found his angle, he'd found how it was going to work.

"You must have, if it's not too much to say...faced death together?"

Yeah, and now she's defensive, and making excuses.

Emmett Bregman had found his story. A love affair between two senior officers on the most top secret facility ever! How brilliant! Always together yet forever out of reach! Oh yes, Emmett Bregman had found his niche, and he was going to make these people stars! Major Samantha Carter and Colonel Jack "Send me a memo" O'Neill were in a lot of trouble.

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"Colonel O'Neill, Sir! Just a moment of you time! 30 seconds even!" Bregman said, rushing to catch up with the Colonel, as he walked hurriedly down the corridor.

"Memo!" Jack replied as he turned the corner.

"Colonel, I know you're in love with Major Carter!" Bregman shouted down the hall.

Jack stopped, clenching his fists and slowly pivoting.

"What?"

"Got your attention or should I post it in a memo?"

"Well firstly you can not shout it in the halls. Secondly you should know that it's not true. You can tell me how you came across this faulty information..."

"It's true Colonel, and I'm going to put it in the documentary!"

"...And then you can ignore me completely."

"Colonel, don't you understand just how great a story this would be? It would be an amazing twist to the storyline; it would complement it. Two warriors, in love but not lovers, friends but not too close! "

"This isn't a movie Bregman. These are our lives you want to put on the big screen. Anyway General Hammond would never allow you to do that."

"Oh so the General's in on it? Good old uncle George, keeping his two favourite "kids" safe in the pursuit of true love? It just keeps getting better!"

"Oh for crying out loud! Hey Carter!" Jack suddenly saw that safety was in numbers, and grabbed his 2IC's arm in desperation. Bregman only saw this as confirmation.

"Carter please convince this buffoon that making a documentary about a fictional love affair between two ranking officers would get us into trouble."

"How would it?"

"Because we're the two ranking officers."

"Okay." Carter took a deep breath, "Our personal lives are not what's being put under the microscope here. Firstly we have nothing to hide because there is nothing going on between the Colonel and myself. We're team mates, friends if you will, and telling people stories based on suspicion and opinions could not only jeopardise the work we do here, but is not the work of a true journalist."

"Fair point, Major." The journalist relented, "But I will get the proof I need."

"Why would you want to do that? Isn't the stargate amazing enough?"

"Oh please, some people just don't watch adventure or sci-fi if there isn't a hint of romance."

"This isn't a T.V show Bregman!"

"It will be if I get my way!" Bregman sighed in triumph, "If you won't help me I'll just have to get shots of you when you don't want to be seen!"

"All the time then." Jack said grumpily.

"Really Major, how do you put up with him?" Bregman smiled.

"I tell him where to find weasels like you to release his aggression." She smiled menacingly, and rolled her eyes at her C.O. Following him as he turned away.

"You'll see! It'll bet he greatest love story ever told! Kids will be posting fan fiction on this for years to come!"