Chapter Twelve: Worse than Death

(The next day)

Serena made her way downstairs. Kurt saw her pass by.

"Where are you going?" he asked as she walked over to the doors.

"I'm going over to see if Todd's okay." She told him and walked out.

She walked in great haste to the Brotherhood house. If Pietro hurt him I swear... She walked across the lawn and knocked on the door. It opened and there standing on the other side was Todd.

"Todd!" she yelled with delight and flung her arms around him. He shoved her away.

"What the hell!? Who are you?"

"Todd," she said in a hurt voice, "It's me, Serena."

"And you are..." he asked. She looked behind him to see the Brotherhood standing there stone-faced.

"Todd it's me Serena! Your girlfriend!" She grabbed his shoulders. "Have you forgotten all I know, and all we had?" He pushed her away.

"You're crazy man!" He yelled and slammed the door shut in her face.

As the door slammed her heart shattered. She was in a state of shock. Her mind felt numb. She wasn't sure how she felt. She couldn't even shed a tear. She wasn't sure of anything any more. She felt her feet subconsciously moving. Before she knew it she was back at the mansion. He feet carried her to her room where she stopped and lingered in the doorway. A noise escaped her throat and she hurled herself on her bed sobbing.

"Serena?" A voice called.

"Go away." She said harshly.

"Serena, it's me Kurt."

"Why are you here?" she asked.

"I saw you come back." Kurt exclaimed. "You were acting really strange. Is something wrong?"

"I went over to see Todd."

"Was he alright?" he asked a little disdainfully.

"He didn't recognize me." She said bitterly. She looked up at him with a tear stained face.

"Why did he act like that?"

"Maybe he doesn't remember you." He shrugged.

"What do you mean?" she demanded.

"Well he was hit pretty hard. His memory might've gotten erased from the blow to his head."

"No! That's not true! It can't be true!" She hit the bed with her fists. Kurt stared at her worried.

"Kurt, I need to be alone for a while."

"Alright." He said quietly and left the room. Serena closed her eyes, the jewel in her medallion the disturbed water splashed.

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Serena was sitting on her bed. Her door opened. She looked over to see who it was. It was Todd.

"Todd! You're back!" She rushed over to him. He backed away suddenly.

"Get away from me."

"Todd..." she said surprised. She reached out her hand to touch his shoulder but he smacked it away. She looked at him with a hurt expression.

"Todd, don't you remember me?" he stared at her with a hard expression. He didn't answer her, but somebody else did.

"Of course not." Pietro suddenly appeared by her with a malevolent smile. "You're not worth remembering." He said. Lance appeared by his side.

"You're not even history in his life now." She tried to back away but she ran into Tabitha.

"To know you is to love you, and he doesn't do either one." Serena ran frantically towards the door but Blob was blocking it.

"You're not even a memory to him." She wanted desperately to get away from them. She looked at Todd.

"Todd you have to remember me!"

"He doesn't." Pietro said and he started racing around in circles and created a tornado. "And he never will!" Wind whipped around here. Things flew at her. She ducked.

"No. Stop it. Leave me alone." She cried.

"Give it up." Tabitha threw bombs that exploded around her.

"No stop it! Please!" They advanced on her. She backed away towards her window. She tried to use her powers but they weren't working.

"Go away! Leave me alone!" She had backed out onto her balcony.

"It's over." Lance said quietly. He stomped the floor sending an earthquake and making cracks in the floor. The ground fell out from under her and she shrieked. She grabbed the edge of what was left of her balcony. She looked down below to see endless black. She looked up and Todd was standing next to the edge looking down on her.

"Todd! Help me!" she cried. He just kept staring at her as if he didn't know her.

"Todd please! I'm gonna die! Doesn't that mean anything to you!?" He blinked. Her grip was loosening.

"Please... help. Don't let me die." She begged in a small sore voice. The rest of the Brotherhood stood behind him and watched her.

"Good-bye Serena." He said in a hollow voice. Her hand let go of the edge.

As she fell, she saw instead of the four behind Todd being the Brotherhood, she saw the four girls that had used and hurt her. And Todd just stood there and watched her fall. She screamed as she was swallowed up by the darkness. A long, bloodcurdling scream. And she awoke still screaming, shattering the dead night's silence, as the water pipes burst through her ceiling and walls. The glass of water on her night stand shattered. Cascades broke there way through the walls, the ceiling rained down, and her room was flooded. As water continued to pour out around her, she cried, tears running down her face. Sobbing, choking, gasping. Inside her amulet there were no contractions of light flickering at the bottom of a pool. Instead a storm was raging on dark, violent water.

There wasn't a single person left in the mansion that was still asleep. All of them were in Serena's room gathered around her bed wondering what happened.

"It's alright Serena." The professor told her. "Calm down."

She was having trouble speaking. "I... I'm s-sorry... I didn't... mean to flood... flood my room." "Actually you've flooded almost the entire mansion." Scott said wearily.

"I'm sorry." She choked. "I forgot to put my suppressor on before I went to bed."

"What kind of nightmare could've possibly have caused you to flood the house?" Ororo asked.

"You like, totally freaked me out with your screaming."

"Scared me half to death."

"I thought I was going to have a heart attack."

"That scream of yours chilled my blood to stop flowing." Several people talked at once. Rogue was the only you not saying anything.

"What images did you have this time Serena?" The professor asked.

"What?" she said startled. "Oh. Oh nothing. Really. It was just a bad dream this time."

"Well, Rogue was having nightmares too." Kitty piped up.

"I was not!" she denied.

"You so were. You screamed too, at almost the exact same time as she did."

"Now now." Professor Xavier stopped them. "All of you go back to bed." All of them did. "Except you Rogue."

She drew back. "What did I do? She asked.

"I just want to asked you a few questions and see if your dream was the same as Serena's."

"With all due to respect sir," Serena said quietly, "I'd rather not share this dream with anybody. Even you."

"Very well. Rogue tell Serena what you dreamnt about." Rogue looked a little surprised but did so. She whispered into Serena's ear.

"Did you have that?" she asked quietly. Serena nodded her head shamefully.

"I think it is possible that you might have a slight gift of empathy and telepathy Serena. Since Rogue had never touched you, and since she was the person nearest to you, you transferred your dreams into hers."

So that explains it. she thought. That explains how Todd found out about my past. Professor Xavier showed Serena into a new room.

"We'll deal with this in the morning." He said as he wheeled himself out the door.

"Try to get some sleep you two." The two didn't meet each other's eyes. Rogue decided to leave as well.

"Night." She said solemnly.

Serena made no sound. She laid back onto her new bed, and sank into her world of darkness.

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Days past by quickly for Serena. Time meant nothing anymore. It was like being dead.

Serena was alone in her bedroom. Not a sound could be heard except for the whispering of a lonely breeze. She sat on the balcony watching the empty blue sky fly by. It might as well have been nighttime. The days had grown dark for her. So many thoughts were running through her head and emotions were running through her heart. If she hadn't have had the suppressor on, all of Bayville might have been flooded. The gentle breeze lifted her hair slightly. She gave a deep sigh. You may not remember me, but I remember you. I lie awake at night, trying so hard not to think of you. But who can decide what people dream? And I do dream. It is the nightmare that I accidentally built to go to in the night. I'm swallowed up by the sound of my screaming, falling endlessly, never to reach the bottom. But now I don't when I'm dreaming or when I'm not. All the thoughts in my head are stirred together. So I don't know what's real and what's not. How I long for just one night of deep sleep dreaming, maybe my dreams will leave me there, in a place where I can't be hurt. She walked over and sat on her bed. Tears started trickling down her face. I miss you so much, and I'd give up everything just to be with you again. I need you to live and to breathe. Without you there is no past, present, or future. I'm frozen in time without your love. I just want to feel you one last time...

She could feel the pain inside her heart slowly eating away at her. She was dying. She felt a sharp pain in her chest and cried out. She kneeled onto the floor one hand clutching her chest while the other supported her. She breathed heavily as perspiration hung at the corners of her face.

"What's happening to me?"

She clutched her head. It felt like it was pulsing. She shook her head trying to rid the burning, throbbing feeling. She grabbed a glass of water off the table and drank some. She breathed. Suddenly rage swept over her and she threw the glass at the wall and it shattered, pieces of glass flying everywhere.

"Agh...!" She backed up against the wall and sat down. She put her head in her hands.

There was a ringing in here ears, no, deeper. It was inside her mind. Her whole body was suddenly ice cold as if someone had doused her with water. Her whole body was shaking.

"What is this?" She fell to her knees grabbing her head with both hands. In her head she felt hatred, revulsion, and murderous anger that was not her own. Or was it? Her skin was becoming numb, her vision became foggy, and she tried to draw breath but couldn't. It was like all the oxygen had been sucked out of the air leaving nothing for her to breathe. It was growing darker. She felt as if she was drowning in cold blackness. She was falling. Something was pulling her beneath the surface. She fought whatever was pulling her down, trying to break loose of the creature's grasp.

"SERENA!"

The coldness was lifted, and she broke free. She blinked clearing her vision and saw Kurt holding her by the shoulders with a scared look on his face.

"Kurt? What are you doing here?"

"I was walking down the hall and heard you yelling. I was worried so I opened the door and saw you on the floor. Your body was shaking and your eyes were dark and glowing. It was frightening. I didn't know what to do so I shook you until you came around." She breathed heavily scared about what had happened.

"What happened?" He asked breathlessly.

"I don't know."

"You don't know or you don't want to tell me."

"Pick one." she said harshly. Then she stopped. "I'm sorry Kurt. I just haven't been myself lately."

"Well if you ever need someone to talk to I'm all ears."

"Thanks Kurt." she muttered. But deep down she didn't really feel like sharing.

Kurt had left Serena to dwell on her thoughts. There was a knock on her door and Rogue stepped in.

"Hey." Serena didn't say anything.

"You really miss him don't you?" she asked.

"You have no idea." she said bitterly.

"Well after that nightmare you gave to me I kinda have a feeling." Again Serena didn't say anything.

"What is the deal with that guy anyway?" Rogue asked her incredulously. "He's always been a trouble maker. I don't get what you see in him."

"You only knew a part of him Rogue." she muttered. "There was another side of Todd that you had never met." She looked away from her. "And there's a side of me you don't know either."

"What do you mean by that?" she asked curiously.

"There's something within me." She closed her eyes. "Something that I hold inside that awakes when I close my eyes. It laughs as it watches me struggle. It watches everything. And it surfaces every time I seriously emotional. It's trying to take over."

"So that's why you beat on Scott." Rogue remarked.

"I didn't beat on him." Serena replied hotly.

"You tore his head off." Rogue said matter of factly.

"It wasn't me."

"Who was it?" she asked eyebrows raised.

"I think it was my other half."

"You mean kind of like a split personality?"

Serena nodded. "Something like that."

"So like this person just comes out without warning?" Rogue sounded worried.

"Used to it only came out when I got really upset but now..." she shook her head.

"Are you gonna be alright?"

"I just need some time alone."

"Alright." Rogue started to leave.

"Rogue." Serena called out to her.

She stopped at the doorway. "Yeah?"

"What I just told you, don't tell the others. Please?"

Rogue gave a slight smile. "Secret's safe with me."

"Thanks." Serena said gratefully. And she turned back to watched the sunset as Rogue shut the door.

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It was dark and Kurt was at the beach. He was on top of one of the small cliffs. He saw something below. It was a girl with long dark hair flapping in the evening wind. She was walking toward the ocean the waves rose high and crashed down mercilessly. "Serena?" He teleported to the shore. He watched as Serena walked onto the water towards the waves. "Serena what are you doing!?" Kurt shouted but the roaring of the ocean drowned him out. She walked farther and farther. "SERENA!" He screamed at the top of his lungs. She slowly turned to face him her head hanging slightly to he said with an empty expression. Suddenly an evil wave rose high over her ready to swallow her. Kurt gasped as he saw the glowing eyes of the wave burned alight. It started to come down. Kurt teleport to where Serena was and grabbed a hold of her but too late. The water engulfed them both dragging them down to the bottom.

"No!" He screamed as he shot up out of his bed. He sat there gasping his heart hammering against his chest. He realized where he was still in his bed.

"Serena." He breathed. He teleported into her room and approached her bed warily.

"Serena?" He said in a soft voice. The bed was empty.

"No." Kurt shook his head. He teleported out of the room. After several teleports he reappeared on the sea cliff. There she was, standing on the edge of the overhang her hair flying in the cool night air.

"Serena." Kurt called out. She slowly turned to look at him. She whispered something he couldn't make out. A cracking noise made his heart stop. He watched in horror as the edge crumbled away and Serena fell.

"Serena!" He screamed and ran to the edge. She was hanging onto a rock sticking out from the side of the cliff. He crouched down and reached his hand down.

"Serena, give me your hand!"

She slowly drew her head up to look at him. What he saw jabbed at his insides. Lost confusion was etched in every part of her tired face. Her eyes looked dim and empty, as if there was nothing left for her. As if she was giving up on... everything.

He reached his hand down to her. "Serena, give me your hand!" She just kept staring at him, the ocean water crashing on the rocks below creating a spray of foam.

"Serena please! I know you're hurting inside. But this is not going to solve anything!" Her eyes glistened. "Give me your hand." She snapped back to reality and swung her hand up and grabbed his. He pulled her up. Once she was on the ledge she collapsed into Kurt's arms and broke down completely. Kurt stroked her hair tenderly as cried into his shoulder.

"Everything's going to be fine." he said comfortingly.

"No it's not." she choked. "It will never be fine."

"Don't give into the pain."

"I can't feel anymore Kurt." she sobbed.

"It just takes some time." he tried to calm her down.

"Kurt, time will never be able to heal me!" she cried out.

"Serena, I care about you. And I'll do anything I can to help you."

"I can't do this Kurt! It's too hard. I tried. But I can't go on like this. My wounds have been cut deeper and deeper down to the bone. It's easier to go then face all this pain here all alone."

"You're not alone. I'm here." he held her face in his hand. "And I promise I'll always be there for you."

"I've heard that before." She muttered.

Kurt gently lifted up her chin. "Serena..." He said quietly. He kissed her.

Her eyes widened in surprised but she didn't resist. She held onto him, his soft fur felt so warm in the cold breeze. Kurt drew his lips from hers and looked at her passionately. She stared at him startled. He smiled his lantern like eyes glowing. She sank into his arms and he held her close to him. She rested against his body, a tear trickled down her cheek at the memory of a similar moment that was now buried in the past.

They sat on the edge looking out at the ocean. They had done quite a lot of talking. Serena had told Kurt what she had been through and what she was gong through now. Kurt was beginning to truly understand how she felt.

"Yes, in all the time we spent together he never once told me he loved me." She gave a deep sigh. "Still I knew."

"I am sorry." He said guiltily. "I did not know."

"It's alright." she replied wearily. "Still I feel like I'm slowly losing everything."

"You still got friends, family."

"My family!" she jumped up. "I haven't seen them for so long."

"Then why don't you?" Kurt suggested.

"My mother." she said bitterly. "She doesn't know I've been hanging around other mutants let alone going to a school for them."

"Then maybe you should tell her."

"Kurt I can't."

"I'm sure she'll understand." Serena looked down in doubt. "If she loves you then she'll accept you for who and what you are."

She nodded slightly. "Alright. I'll tell her."

Next chapter, see how Todd is dealing with life after the fight and how the rest of the Brotherhood are struggling with their consciences.