Sorry it took so long to get this chapter up. I'm kinda running out of ideas on where to go with this. But here is a sad chapter for you to be content with for now.

Chapter Seventeen: Please don't say you wanted this

Serena sat in her bedroom trying to sort out all that had happened. How did she get back to the mansion? She had faint visions of sneaking in through the gate, sliding through the vents, tip-toeing to her bedroom, and finally passing out on the bed. Was it just a dream? Had she ever even left the mansion? Yes, she did. She did leave the mansion to see her mother. What happened? A fight, there was a fight. But what was it over? Her? Yes it had been over her. Her and her powers. She left shortly afterwards. She ran to the park, yes definitely the park. She had to have lost consciousness after that. Then she came back to the mansion. Did any of it really happen? Or was it just another nightmare?

Serena was trying to remember all that had happened last night. But the memories were as blurry as if there were years old. Why couldn't she remember? A knock on the door interrupted her thoughts.

"Who is it? Come on in."

The door opened slightly and a furry blue head poked in. "Serena?"

"Oh hey Kurt."

"How's it?" He walked all the way in and shut the door. "Where were you last night?"

So it wasn't a dream. At least I know that leaving the X-Mansion, talking to my mother, and then going to the park really did happen. But what about everything else? Or what if she was dreaming right now?

"I needed some fresh air." Serena said quickly.

"Did you get it?" Kurt asked.

"More or less." Serena shrugged.

"So where did you go?"

"I went to see my family." Serena replied.

"Oh, how are they?"

"The twins seem to be doing fine." She smiled a little. "Still as energetic as ever." Tears started to form in her eyes but she fought them back. "And I talked to my mother about, you know."

"What did she say?" Serena looked away. "Don't tell me..."

"She went ballistic. She said I was abnormal. She called me a freak."

Kurt's eyes widened. "Your own mother told you that?"

She nodded. "Yeah."

"That's terrible."

"We got in a fight and, some things were said. Then I left."

"Where did you go after that?" Kurt asked.

"I kinda fell asleep in the park."

"You did what?"

Serena nodded. "Yeah, and I had a terrible nightmare."

Kurt raised an eyebrow. "About what?"

"I'm not completely sure." Serena told him. "It's all a blur. I remember standing over a puddle and my reflection started talking to me."

"That's freaky."

"And Pietro was in it at some point." Serena continued. "I think he was drunk or something."

"A drunk Quicksilver?" He shuddered. "That really is a nightmare."

Serena merely gave a slight shrug. "I've been having all sorts of weird dreams lately, so this one doesn't really faze me."

"Did you used to have nightmares this often?"

"Used to I hardly ever had nightmares. But now, I can't tell what is real and what's not anymore. For all I know I could be dreaming right now."

Kurt suddenly kissed her. She went rigid with surprise. He smiled. "See you're not dreaming."

Serena looked slightly indignant. "What was that for?"

"What?" Kurt asked.

"Why did you kiss me?"

"Well... I... uh..." Kurt struggled for words. "To... make you... smile?" He said uncertainly.

"Thanks Kurt," she looked away, uncomfortable, "but I am in no mood to smile."

"Hey, don't worry." He spoke softly. "I'm sure things will get better."

"How? My boyfriend doesn't even remember me, my mom thinks I'm a freak, and I think I'm losing my sanity."

"Is he really your boyfriend anymore? I mean like you said, he doesn't remember you."

She sighed. "Since you put it that way I guess he's not."

He put a hand on her shoulder. "It's good that you're no longer with them."

She pulled away staring at him in disbelief. "What?"

"I said it's good that you're no longer with them." Kurt repeated.

"Kurt," her voice had suddenly become cold, "are you saying, you wanted this to happen?"

"What!?" He regretted saying anything. "No, it's just, he wasn't anything but a troublemaker. You didn't belong with him."

Serena was getting more agitated by the second. "What do you mean I didn't belong with him?"

He had to say something to keep the conversation from falling apart. "Look, he chose the bad side. But you're good. You belong with us."

"Who are you to decide where I belong?" Serena asked incredulously.

"No, no." He struggled for the right words. "What I'm saying is that I want to be there for you. I want to be the shoulder you could lean on."

Serena's eyes were wide and unbelieving. Without thinking she slapped him. Not so hard that he was knocked off his feet, but not so soft that it didn't sting. Kurt rubbed his cheek gingerly looking extremely hurt.

Serena's face was one of the utmost fury. "Did you think I was just going to give myself to you!?"

"Well yes but... no I mean..." He was ready to tear his fur out. "I was just trying to be there for you."

"Oh yes! Since Todd's no longer around I'm yours for the taking! Is that it?" She said in disgust.

"No, I... Serena..." Kurt whined.

"You wanted this to happen, didn't you?" Serena shouted at him. "You wanted Todd to forget about me!"

"No! That's not true!" Kurt yelled.

"Liar!" She started to advance on him as he backed away. "You promised me I would be happy here! I came here and you promised me I wouldn't regret it! Well some promise! I lost everything! I was better off with the Brotherhood! If I had stayed there none of this would have ever happened!"

"But they didn't want you to stay!" Kurt exclaimed.

"Todd wanted me to stay!"

Soon she had backed him into the wall. "But do you know if he'd want you to stay now? I mean he's lost his mind. He might never get it back."

"You don't know that!" She pointed a finger that was an inch away from his face. "You don't know anything!"

Kurt grabbed her wrist and lowered her hand. "Well maybe I would if you would just tell me." He said angrily.

She jerked her arm away. "You could never understand what I've been through!" She let go of her clenched fists trying to calm down. "Todd was the only one who ever understood me."

"Why can't you just let it go?" Kurt asked desperately. "Why can't you just forget about the past?"

"Don't you think I want to?" She said angrily. "No matter how much you try to ignore it the past is not a thing to be forgotten, or changed. I love Todd and there's nothing that can change that."

"Is he the only one you can think about?" Kurt groaned. "Don't you ever think about us? We've done everything for you. We were always there for you. You just didn't see it."

"You only thought you were there for me, but all you did was train with me. You just saw me as another X-Man, you didn't really know me."

"You never even let us try to get to know you." Kurt declared. "You never even gave me that chance."

"I tried but I just can't!" Serena screamed.

"Why not?" Kurt shouted.

"You don't know what it's like! I took one outstretched hand after the other and every single one has stabbed me in the back. Of course some were polite and stabbed me in the front, and that even hurt worse." She glared at him. "I've heard promise after promise but every single one was broken, including yours. I don't believe in promises anymore."

Kurt looked at her hard. "The past may not be a thing you can change, but it's also not something to be dwelled on. Memories are nice, but that's all they are, just memories. You need to stop living in the past and start looking towards the future."

"I'm not living in the past!" Serena yelled. "My past is the last place where I would want to live! I'm just remembering my past mistakes so that I don't make them again!"

"Everybody makes mistakes!" Kurt said exasperatedly. "And everybody repeats those mistakes at least once. But making mistakes is how you learn. If you never make mistakes you will never succeed. At least that's how I was taught."

"Then I have learned something." Her voice was firm but calm. "I've made the same mistake over and over countless times. And that was letting people get close enough to me to find a good enough place to stick a knife. So you know what I've learned? I've learned that it really is a lot less painful being alone. No one to walk out on me, no one to betray me, and no one to lose."

"Serena... listen..." Kurt whined.

"No, this is the last straw." She tore off the bracelet he had given her, with the moon and star charms crested with aquamarines and sapphires, and threw it onto the floor. "I'm not going to make that same mistake again."

When that bracelet hit the floor Kurt felt his heart brake. He stomach tied itself in a knot and his chest swell up. He felt like he couldn't breathe and his throat was so tight he couldn't speak. He slumped to the floor as he watched a blurred vision of Serena walking out the bedroom, and his fur suddenly became wet. Kurt had never known what heartbreak was like until now.

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Rogue was walking through the mansion looking for something to do. "Nothing exiting going on today." She thought. Suddenly as she was walking by a bedroom the door slammed open nearly hitting Rogue. The corner of the door hit the wall and chipped pieces of broken wood fell to the floor. Serena was the one who had opened the door and Rogue watched her as she stalked down the hallway, clearly not very pleased.

Rogue raised an eyebrow. "What's with her?"

Rogue looked inside the bedroom. Kurt was sitting on the floor huddled up against the wall looking as though someone very close to him had died.

"Oh, hey Rogue." He said in a high voice trying to act cheerful. "What's up?"

She walked in. "I should be asking you the same thing. What's wrong?"

His throat was so tight it was painful, but he endured it. "I...it's nothing. Really."

Rogue spotted a bracelet on the floor. She picked it up. "What's this?"

"Nothing important." He muttered.

She examined it. "This looks like the same bracelet Serena wore."

Kurt folded his arms. "Yah, and?"

"Kurt, what happened?"

Kurt turned his head away. "I... it's nothing. I... I'm perfectly okay."

"Kurt, I have never heard you sounding less okay." Rogue said matter-of-factly. "Now what's wrong? Or do I have to take my gloves off and find out?"

He hesitated. "Me and Serena had a fight..."

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Serena was outside wandering around trying to cool off. I belong to the good side? He really doesn't know anything about me. She remembered him telling her that the eyes were the windows to the soul. He was obviously looking through the wrong window. Either that or he just couldn't see what was really inside. If he knew, if any of them knew... They have no idea. I don't want to be alone, but what choice do I have? It'll save a whole lot of pain in the long run, that's for sure. But why do I feel... so dead? Suddenly there was a ringing in her ears and a cold sensation swept over her. She grabbed her head trying to make the ringing in her ears stop. "Please stop." She pleaded. That's when an angry voice called her name. The ringing stopped almost instantly. She straightened up and turned to see an angry Rogue.

"What did you do to Kurt?" Rogue asked her angrily.

Serena frowned. "What do you mean?"

"He's in your bedroom looking like he's ready to cry! Now what did you do?"

Serena shrugged as if she didn't care. "I did nothing. He asked questions, and I answered every single one of them with pure fact."

"I think you need to get your facts straight." Rogue said thickly.

"Maybe, or maybe he needs to get his straight." She said dryly. "Him and you both."

"You looking for a fight?"

"I'm not looking for anything," she said bitterly, "because what I want can't be found."

"Stop that!" Rogue snapped.

"Stop what?" Serena shot back.

"You keep taking things that are said and twist them!"

"Even though words can be easily manipulated, that is not what I do. I merely speak the truth." Serena said coolly.

"Well whatever truth you told to him hurt him bad." Rogue said coldly.

"He deserved it!" Serena snapped. "He was trying to win me over with empty words! He was hoping that he could take Todd's place! He was hoping I would just hand myself over!"

"Kurt's not like that!" Rogue snapped.

"Yeah right! He told me himself!" Serena snapped back.

"You don't know what you're talking about!" Rogue replied angrily. "All he's been doing is trying to help you and you've just been shoving him away."

"Don't you get it?" Serena yelled in frustration. "Nobody can help me! Not you, him, or anyone else!" She sighed. "And even if they could, I've been hurt too many times to except anyone's help now."

"I know what it's like to be hurt," Rogue told her, "but you just have to keep trying."

Serena shook her head. "You've never been hurt the way I have. You'd probably give up too, if nobody was there for you."

"But we are here for you," She protested, "you just don't see it."

"I can see perfectly clear. It's you that can't see the fact that I am beyond helping."

Rogue looked at her hard. "Do you really believe that?"

Serena turned away. "You don't want to help me."

"What do you mean? Of course I want to help you." Rogue said in annoyance.

"If you knew me, you wouldn't want to."

"I would if you'd just let me."

"I'm sorry," Serena said with finality in her voice, "but there's nothing you can do."

Rogue stood there staring at a silent Serena, then shrugged and turned to walk off. "Well, if you change your mind, I'm always here. We all are." And then she walked away leaving Serena alone outside.

Once Rogue had left, a fiendish smile spread across Serena's face and her eyes went dark. "She's right," she said in a low, hard voice, "there's nothing you can do to help her now."

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Kurt sat in Serena's bedroom. He couldn't believe how much he had ruined things for both him and Serena. And now she hated him. But was it really his fault? Was he to blame? Maybe he shouldn't have moved in so quickly. Maybe he shouldn't have moved in at all. Should he have just left her to sulk in her dark bedroom with all of her dreaded memories? No, he was right to have tried to help. He still wanted to help her. But how do you help someone who doesn't want to trust anybody?

"Kurt?" He looked up. It was Rogue. "You okay?"

Kurt didn't answer he looked down at the floor and sighed.

Rogue sat down next to him. "Look, I know you were only trying to help but... I don't think you really took the right way to do it."

He sighed. "Maybe you are right. Maybe I shouldn't have tried to approach her so fast."

"You kissed her didn't you?"

"Was?" Kurt said in surprise.

"She said you were trying to take frog boy's place." Rogue told him. "I'm not saying you were but..."

"I wanted them to brake up." Kurt admitted. "But I didn't want to replace anybody. I just wanted her to know that I'm here. I want to help her. But every time I try to get close, she pushes me away. I just wanted to help."

Rogue shrugged. "Maybe she just doesn't want any help. She doesn't want to depend on anyone anymore."

"I know but... what's a life like without friends?"

"A sad one." Rogue said. "Believe me, I know."

"I just don't understand." He wrung his hands together. "Why won't she let us help her?"

"If we did know her," Rogue reasoned, "if we did know about her past we would probably understand why she doesn't want us to help."

"But I was so close." Kurt whispered.

"Kurt, do you like her?" Rogue asked.

"What?" Kurt said surprised. "Th- that's crazy."

Rogue looked at him hard. "But it's true, isn't it?"

Without answering, Kurt disappeared in a puff of smoke. "Thought so." She said satisfied.

What now? Todd is mad with the Brotherhood, Serena's mad at the Brotherhood and Kurt, and everybody else is mad at themselves. These people are just not having a good day.

Find out what happens next! If you'd like to send in any suggestions, that would be most appreciated.