Chapter 4
A rough hand pulled my head out of the water. A deep, bass laughed in my ear, issuing breath that told of rotting gums. Again, my head was thrust deep into the cold river.
"Has Her Majesty drunk enough?" the voice sneered in the darkness, snatching my head back up again.
I could not speak. Humiliated and aching with pain, I fell where he laid me, sopping wet and cold in the cutting wind. Still, I did not know where I was.
I did not even know how I had gotten here. One moment, I was going to find my son's lost ball, and the next, I was being handled with rough arms and darkness engulfed.
Where was I? What creatures were these?
The darkness shifted. Light once again emerged, but only dimly, and suddenly, I found myself chained, arms above me, a rough rock cutting into my back.
Another sharp stab of pain crossed my chest as the whip landed again. Refusing to give in, I did not cry out, though I wanted to scream and alleviate the agony all over my body. Since I had been captured, I did not know what form of torture had not been done to me.
I knew everything.
Hunger.
Pain.
Humiliation.
Rape.
I was about to be proved wrong.
"Enough!" the sexless voice, devoid of all emotion, race, or identity, boomed. I had been listening to the same voice ever since I had come here. I had not eaten nor slept for what seemed like an age. I did not know how long I had stayed here. A few months, a few years, a few centuries?
I did not know.
My body was immortal, but was my mind?
I did not know.
I did not know anything.
"Please," I tried feebly to form words through my cracked lips. My tired eyes would not close. There was some type of evil magic here that invaded her mind every time she tried to move her thoughts away from this accursed place. "Just a few minutes. Let me sleep."
Only cold laughter filled her ears.
"You wish to sleep?" the words seared themselves into my memory. "You selfish bitch! You only wish to sleep when your family has been captured?"
I felt my heart stop as a lump formed in my throat. My family… My husband and child… captured?
"No!"
"Yes," the darkness issued forth. "Do you not want to know where they are?"
"Please," I begged. "Tell me. Are they alive? Don't do to them what you have done to me! Please, I beg of you!"
The voice gave a snort of contempt. "And what do you have that is so valuable that I should do as you wish?"
I felt tears rushing to my eyes and I held them down in silence. I could not let them see this weakness. I had given them everything. But I could not give them this. I could not let myself become so low as to be broken by them.
But my family…
"What is it you want from me?" I asked hollowly.
I could almost imagine my torturer smiling, pulling his cracking lips apart to show swollen gums and rotten teeth. I would have heaved, had I anything in my stomach.
"You have not betrayed them."
"What do you mean?" I asked. I had revealed everything I knew about my family and their position to them. Through the endless days of torture and hunger, there was nothing I could have done but told them everything.
But deep down, I knew.
I still loved them.
They were my heart and soul. They could not take that away…
Could they?
The voice laughed again. Suddenly, from the darkness, I heard the most dreaded sound I could imagine.
Hard, cold, skeletal legs brushed the hard stones, clicking and snapping as they moved forward. In an instant, they were on me, their exoskeletons gleaming from an unknown source of light.
Mandibles parted and eyes grouped in eights stared down at me.
My heart quickened, and I could not suppress the scream that formed in my throat. "Oh, Valar, no!"
The giant spiders native to the south of my land stared down at me. Fat, with their hairy bodies glistening, I knew that they were well fed and possibly kept as pets. They knew no mercy, and though I was never one to be squeamish around insects or spiders, these terrified me.
My breath came raggedly, and I tried to move my broken body out of their way. Slowly but surely, they advanced. I could hear nothing. Blood rushed through my ears as I tried not to scream again.
Nothing could have been more cruel.
"You know," the sexless voice came again. "The spiders of Mirkwood always enjoy a tasty snack now and then. Of course, they don't eat their prey right away. They like to play with them. First, they paralyze them."
One of the many spiders jabbed its stinger at me and screaming, I pulled away, ignoring the pain in my broken arm.
"Then, they wrap them in their web."
I felt the sticky substance on my leg. Sticky and slimy, it wormed its way around my waist so that I was held down to the stone.
"Valar, no!" I cried.
"Slowly, very slowly, they suck out the juices and leave the core intact. I have heard it's a most painful experience."
I could not take it anymore. All around me, their legs ticked on the stone, sending my mind whirling into nausea. My arms grew chill and sweat beads dripped from my face. Tied down, I was unable to wipe the sweat and tears from my eyes. Slowly, my dim vision dimmed still more.
"Don't do it to me!" I cried, meaning every word with my heart. Suddenly, I knew what I had to do. There was no way out except one. "Don't do it to me! Do it to my husband! Do it to my child! I don't care! Don't hurt me!"
Silence.
Then, "Granted," the voice said.
In an instant, the spiders withdrew.
Only then, did I realize what I had done. "No," I breathed. "I didn't mean it! Don't do it to them! Please!"
But what was done could not be undone. I felt a chill run down my spine and suddenly, I was seized with a pain so severe that it made the torture I had gone through in the past seem like child's play. Screaming in agony, I felt slow fire crawl from my spinal cord all around my body, devouring me. What clothes I had left shredded around me, and I cried out again as my fingers began to blister and bleed.
"What is happening to me?" tears rolled down my cheeks, hissing as they touched the internal fire that was burning around me.
"You, My Lady, have forsaken everything and everyone you love," the voice said evenly. "Elves are of the light. They love. They care. But you do not, so therefore, you are no longer an elf."
I bit my lip as the fire crept over my face, and I felt the heat around my eyes, cutting, burning, and ruining my skin. It ran across my head, and I smelled my own hair sizzling as locks fell to the ground around me. I couldn't take it anymore, and screamed, opening my mouth and letting the flame inside of me.
My heart stopped.
The flames seared into my throat, and I breathed raggedly, craving water.
"Your heart is black as sin," it told me. "You are now a creature of the darkness. You have no beauty. The Valar made sure of that."
"What am I?" I asked, and screamed at the change in my voice. I no longer sounded like me. My voice was torn, aged by the torture and flames. It sounded as if a thousand nails were being driven into the ground and I had swallowed them all.
"You, My Lady, are an Orc."
NO!
Green eaves.
The sunlight was dancing merrily down through ceiling of vines, playing intricate designs upon the marble floor. It did not burn, but simply warmed, licking at the smooth ground and the few wooden ornaments and seats that decorated the room.
It was familiar.
Happy.
Laughter came ringing from my left, and I turned my head, following it. The sound brought me indescribable joy, and I could not help but want to join in. Lightly, I got to my feet from the soft linens of the couch, the dark green silk gown straightening as it flowed down my legs.
My toes tingled as they touched the cool marble floor in the shade, and treading softly, I smiled as I made for the door, which was slightly ajar, leading to my husband's room. Pushing open the door, I looked in to find a heart-warming sight.
My husband, usually careworn and cold from his duties of the day, was showing a softer side. In his arms, our child dangled, vulnerable and trusting in his large hands. In both their faces were etched the signs of enjoyment in the other's company. My son, only two and still unstable on his feet, held out his feathery little hands as he squealed with delight at the thrilling height he was at. His blue eyes, mirroring his father's, were full of innocence.
Still smiling, I stepped in quietly, not wanting to disturb this peaceful time between father and son.
My husband turned as he heard me, bringing our child protectively to his chest. I approached him, and our son laughed again, holding out his chubby fingers to me.
His father moved him higher onto the crook of his elbow, and drew an arm around my shoulders, crushing me to his chest. I breathed in deeply, inhaling his sweet scent of fresh leaves and fruit. Though I had lived in these forests all my life, I could never figure out which specific leaf and fruit.
He had always been that to me: a sweet, mysterious man that held all of my love.
I embraced him around the waist, and for a minute, we just stood there, a loving family.
Happiness.
"You, My Lady, are an Orc," the voice resounded again.
NO!
I remembered! I knew! I didn't have to be this any longer!
RELEASE ME PLEASE!
TBC...
Please wait patiently for the next installment, and if you liked it or didn't like it, please review. I know that this is a little confusing, but it will all come together in the next and final chapter!