10

John has no intention of searching for the box Dr. Heightmeyer mentioned. He's not interested in rekindling feelings for the troubled Angela, no matter how hot and heavy they had it before. He's with Elizabeth, as it should be. As it's meant to be.

Flash: Closing the top drawer of his desk.

John shakes away the image. So he knows where the damned thing is. Big deal. Doesn't mean he has to look at it. It could be nothing. Just a present he had made. More than likely, he did what he's done all his life: bought gifts that could go to anyone, nothing cheap, but nothing too personal either.

He finds himself outside the door to his quarters. He was heading to the commissary, not his room. What the hell am I doing here?

Without forethought, he swipes his hand over the controls and the door slides open. John strides over to the desk and yanks open the top drawer.

There, as expected, is a delicate wood box. He lifts it up and stares at the intricate floral design laid into the wood. The grain is fantastically uniform, polished and stained to perfection. He can't see a single mark marring the beauty.

John drops onto his bed, holding the box in his right hand and running his left hand through his hair. What is wrong with me? He can't stop staring at the damn thing, like it's about to jump from his palm and do tricks or something.

He drops the box onto the bed and looks away from it. What he told the doctor is true. He can't be Angela's hero. And no matter what he said before, there's no way that screwed up kid could possibly be his either.

Flash: While locking her gaze with John's, she pulls the trigger, blowing Kolya's head off with one shot between the eyes. A single brow arches at John. I don't need saving.

John buries his face in his hands. Why can't he get her out of his head? Scrubbing his face, he glances over and his gaze falls on the box. He picks it up again and sees something he missed before. A seam in the wood. Even as it plays in his mind, he pulls the lid off the box and sees what all the fuss is about. The damn box wasn't the present. It's what's inside!

Fuck me!

Carefully, he plucks the delicate ornament from the plush surroundings and brings it closer for inspection. It's the most beautiful thing he's ever seen…as far as he can remember, anyway.

Maybe half a centimeter in width, it looks incredibly delicate. Reminiscent of the Atlantean sky with swirls of pink, blue and orange molded and polished to a mirror shine. Pressing it between his finger and thumb, he finds the material is surprisingly resistant—and unearthly beautiful—handcrafted with amazing attention to detail. Etched within the swirls, in gold he's assuming, are tiny connecting hearts, all the way around it. On first appearance, it looks positively fragile, and yet it's incredibly strong.

The exact compliment for Angela, it seems.

Tilting it, he finds more etching on the underside. An inscription: My Angel…Always.

Flash: He can feel her trying to squeeze his fingers, but she's drained of strength. Instead, she grins…very weak… Her eyes start to close. John cups her face, willing her to look at him. No…Jax, stay with me.

Always…

Holding the present in his fingers, John gets an unwavering and overwhelming urge to see Angie. He puts the gift back in the box, closes it and sets the whole thing aside again. He clutches his head in his hands. "I love Elizabeth dammit!"

Still, he's rising and rushing from his quarters. How he finds hers is another mystery for some other time, he simply knows where to go. The door is open when he arrives.

There's a pack on the floor and the bed is stripped of linens. In fact, he doesn't see a single personal item anywhere in the room, except the lonely looking laptop asleep on the desk.

Angela emerges from the bathroom carrying what looks like shampoo and other assorted items. She glances at him briefly before attending to her packing. Dark circles round her eyes and her face is deathly pale; a ghost of the woman who kissed him when he awoke in the infirmary just the other day.

His heart hurts seeing her like this. It's all that guilt ready to kill him. "Where are you going?" She sets the bath items on top of everything in the pack. John steps further into the room. "Angela?"

"That really shouldn't matter to you, should it," she says softly. He almost couldn't hear her.

"This is your home."

She looks him in the eyes. Her dark chocolate gaze is remarkably sultry even while expressing unfathomable sorrow. Her lips tremble. "Not anymore." She releases him from her penetrating stare to zip up the pack.

Lt. Cadman appears at John's side. She nods politely to him, but her obvious concern is for Angela. "All set."

Angela lifts her bag, but it's obvious she's straining to carry it. She looks so thin. Cadman grabs the bag from her. "Let me get that." Then she vanishes out the door. Angela follows with her head downcast.

Turning back suddenly, she kisses John's cheek for a long heartbreaking moment. "I love you, Johnny," she whispers in his ear on a muffled sob.

And then she's gone.

John's not sure whether to be relieved or not. Part of him wants to chase after her, beg her to stay, but the other part wants to go grab hold of Elizabeth and never let go.

He drops onto the edge of the bed, rests his elbows on his legs and closes his eyes. Guilt and frustration twist in his gut.

oOo

Lt. Cadman sets the pack on one of the bench seats in the puddle jumper then comes back out. As she walks down the ramp, she grabs hold of Angie and gives her a big hug. Angie hugs her back, but there's very little strength in her arms. According to Kate, she still refuses to eat.

Carson was close to putting her back in the infirmary, but Kate convinced him the best thing for her right now is space away from John. Considering the last time Angie went to I-zoola to be free of him she came back rather healthy and reinvigorated, Kate didn't have to fight all that hard.

Elizabeth watches as Angie trails behind Kate into the puddle jumper. Her head hanging, defeated. She doesn't say anything or look at anyone. Major Lorne is flying them to I-zoola and he glances at Angie then at Elizabeth, his brows rise as concern floods his face. "Be safe, Major," Elizabeth says. Lorne nods, his gaze shifting back to Angie as Kate gets her settled on the other bench. Elizabeth never really noticed before, but it seems the Major might have a bit of a crush on Angela. Then again, since the pheromone thing…doesn't everybody?

Well…except for the one man who's supposed to.

Cadman looks to Elizabeth and there's worry in her blue eyes. Elizabeth offers a comforting smile. "She'll be fine, Laura. A few days in the snow. Some skating." She nods. "It'll be good for her."

"If you say so ma'am."

"The minute Ronon gets here…she's coming home."

Cadman smiles, but it's small. "Yes ma'am."

"Dr. Weir."

Elizabeth clicks her headset. "Go ahead, Carson."

"Could you come to the infirmary please? There's something you need to see."

"I'll be there shortly." She clicks her headset again then nods to Lorne. "Whenever you're ready, Major."

Lorne nods and the rear hatch closes.

Elizabeth and Lt. Cadman go down the stairs. Elizabeth stands at the balcony alcove to wait for the jumper to depart. She heads to the infirmary once she sees them safely through the gate.

Even outside the infirmary, she can hear the raised voices. The only time Dr. Zelenka yells is when Rodney's driving him crazy. And Carson never yells. At least not like this. The two are bickering like boys on a play ground: I'm right, you're wrong, only one has a Scottish accent and the other is Czech.

"Stop the buzzing!" Rodney cries, straining against the cuffs on his wrists and ankles. "I can't stand the buzzing!"

Carson rests a hand on Rodney's arm and the man flinches. "No needles."

"I don't have a needle, Rodney."

"You're stinging me. Stop it. Stop it!" He glares at Carson. "You're just jealous you Scottish Terrier, because I'm invincible."

Carson withdraws his hand from Rodney's arm, nodding placatingly at the scientist. "Yes, Rodney, you're invincible."

"That's Mister Invincible to you!"

"Ahh, Dr. Weir," Zelenka sighs as Elizabeth steps into the room. "Perhaps a sound mind can bring this hlupák to see the light."

"Now there's no need for name calling you cheeky little bastard."

"How you know I call you name, you mizera."

"I know an insult when I hear one. I don't care what language it's in."

"drž hubu!"

"Well, right back at ya. And you can Pòg mo thòin while you're at it."

"Carson!"

He turns sharply. "My apologies, Dr. Weir. But he drove me to it." He considers her for a moment. "I didn't know you speak Gaelic."

She smirks, shaking her head. "Only the colorful phrases."

"Mister invincible will wipe that smile off your face with a death glare!"

Carson rolls his eyes. "If the withdrawals don't kill him…"

Elizabeth holds up a hand. "Carson. You're a doctor. Don't finish that sentence." She lets out a heavy breath. "Now. Please tell me you didn't bring me down here to referee your bickering."

Carson glances at Zelenka who simply sneers back. He then looks sheepishly at Elizabeth. "We might have a situation."

oOo

John doesn't know how long he's been sitting on her bed or why he's still in her room. He looks around, not seeing anything familiar…and yet…

He knows this room.

Standing, John goes to the door and stares in. He takes a step forward and starts to pace, feeling like a kid asking for candy he knows he's not supposed to have. Glancing up, he sees Angie standing near the door wearing a ratty old robe, her hair dripping wet…and he wants her so bad he can taste it.

Are you saying you have a crush on me, Sheppard?

He can feel this energy emanating from her. Pulling at him. It's like he has no control over himself…she's a gravity well and he's some helpless victim.

"Your path is your own, John."

What? John looks around. He's alone. But he just heard…

Flash: The hive ship's coming into view. They haven't detected my approach. I'm going in.

Flash: Angie sitting on the sofa in Elizabeth's office, smiling at him. She gets up and turns to face him. You have a choice to make.

Flash: I'm going in.

Flash: Angie smiles. No one can make it for you.

Flash: I'm going in. Turning from the controls, he sees a bright light out of the corner of his eye. Angie's standing there…in the jumper…bathed in a white light…

John's eyes snap open. "Ohmigod!" And he rushes from the room.