Chappie 4

Dirty Lil' Secrect

Thank you sooooo much for being patient. U will all be rewarded with funny stuff between me and me muse I kidnapped, er I mean, "borrowed". Yes, borrowed…Anyhoo, I dedicate this story to my deceased boxer Dutchess, for she did the best things for me. She won lotsa ribbons for me during my school's Fall Show (I go 2 a kewl school. I am a Small Animal Science major, and only in sophomore year ). I am sooo proud tears leak out". DUTCHESS, I FLIPPING LOVE YOU AND I WILL NEVER FORGET THE WAY YOU ALWAYED DROOLED AND WHEEZED AND SNOORED SO LOUD I COULDN'T SLEEP! I LOVE YOU!

Bold italics mean mind touch. Regular italics mean personal thoughts.

Kenshin- Sir, I'm gonna have to ask you to calm down.

U.B.- I AIN'T NO EFFING SIR!

Kenshin- sarcastically cruel Sorrrry!

U.B.-Well, ya should be! Hey, anyone seen Battosai?

Battosai-walks into the room with an armful of beer Right here BEAST.

U.B.-Eeeeeek! You do NOT need beer! You're as unstable as it is!

Battosai-Yah, well I have a feelin' I'm gonna need it.

U.B.-GIMMIE HAPPY JUICE!

Battosai-throb mark NOOO! MINE! ALL MINE! Jumps out of U.B.'s window

CRUNCH!

Kenshin-runs to window Ooooh, your mom's gonna a fit about those rosebushes.

U.B.- O.o'' Whoa, he's gonna be madder than Jesse Jackson have to answer the white courtesy phone at the airport. Oops, Lord, I apologize about that, and leavin' those starving pygmies down in New Guinea. Amen. But I don't care who u are, that's funny right there

Kenshin-Yeah, he's more ridiculous than a one legged man in a brewery making Hopps.

Battosai- GET ME THE F--- OUT THESE PRICKLEY TENDRILS OF TORTURE!

U.B.-Now, now ur a prick yourself, so you can stay there awhile.

Kenshin- Just like a woman, every rose has its thorns.

Sano-waltzes in randomly But our UNCHAINED BEAST is more like a cactus.

U.B.-Jumps a foot in the air Leaping lizard, where the hell did u come from Birdhead?

Sano-Blame my parents.

U.B.- Gee wiz, you get me more frustrated than an Amish electrician!

Battosai-GET ME OUTTA HERE! I'M MADDER THAN A QUEER WITH TONSILITIS ON VALINTIMES DAY! IF YOU LET ME OUT I PROMISE TO MAKE YOUR DEATH LESS PAINFUL!

U.B.- NO! Howsa bout' I will let u go at the end of the chappie and with no negative consequences on me whatsoever!

Battosai-Fine, can I at least have a bottle of Smirnoff?

U.B- Fine, here yah go. Drops the bottle out of the window

CRASH! Tinkle

Battosai-YOOOWWWW! OW OW OW! IT BURNS! U.B, YOU BITCH, I'M GONNA KILL YOU!

U.B- Well, being the UNCHAINED BEAST, I suppose "bitch" is a proper term (Dad, don't yell at me for cussing, I mean female dog context, like a donkey being called an ass!). Oh, and by the way, only 7 reviews and over 250 hits? COME ON! MAN, I AM SOOO MAD I COULD SWALLOW GUN POWER AND TWO BULLETS, EAT A CHELUPA, TAKE OFF MY BRICHES, LAY ON MY BACK, SPREAD MT BUTT CHEEKS, FART, AND DROP A DEER FROM ONE HUNDRED YARDS!

Sano- O.O'' Uh, I am having a feeling she means it.

Kenshin-Yah, she can get pretty mad. Mad enough to make even Battosai quail and pee in his hamaka.

Battosai- AMAKAKERU RYU NO HERAMEKI! Blasts out of rosebushes

U.B.-Oh snap! Kenshin. Lock the doors! Battle stations!

Kenshin-Sir yes sir!

U.B.- I TOLD YOU I AIN'T NO FLIPPING SIR!

Sano- Hey, why didn't Battosai think of using his katana before?

U.B. Ya know, Birdhead, I don't know?

Dirty lil' Secret Yes

That single word reverberated in Kenshin's mind like an undying echo. Never again would he lack a champion. Never again would he be alone. It's true, he had heard of tales of Dragon Riders and their roles in the Bakumatsu. Even then, they were few in numbers, their shadows darkening the blood soaked earth was a rare sight indeed back then. Kenshin never bothered getting acquainted with the few that were around. They had an air of arrogance that gave them "I am so much better than you because I am a Rider" attitude. One of them ever had the nerve to tell him that he had much bloodlust in battle and that he should tone it down. The Rider was rewarded with a glare that would have killed him a thousand times if it could. At that point, his trip down memory lane was interrupted with a hungry mew from Seiko. Hunger was pulsing through her thoughts, and she had spent so much time in that shell without nourishment, and that he could please hurry up and get her something to eat. Kenshin sighed and smiled, and got up to go to the kitchen. As he open up the shoji, he felt something bump his leg and saw golden peering up at him in the darkness. Seiko was trying to follow. Kenshin knelt down at her level and closed his eyes. He felt his mind tough the hatchlings, and imposed one thought upon her conscience.

Stay here.

Seiko's eyes widened in surprise that he learned to talk with his mind so soon. Kenshin repeated the command. Stay here. He left her mind and felt himself enveloping his mind with relief. He hoped he made himself understood, and watched as she turned around and curled up on his bed. Sheesh, only ten minutes out of the shell and she acts like she's the queen of my bed. Kenshin concentrated on reaching the kitchen without being heard. He crept outside of Kaoru's door and listened to her steady breathing. He also heard Yahiko and Sanosuke's snores nearby. Kenshin relaxed his guard but kept quiet all the same. When he reached the kitchen, he saw a slap of meat wrapped in cloth and preserved with salt on the counter. He weighed in his hands and found it to be enough to sake her appetite. Using his godspeed, he reached his room in a few seconds, with the meat tucked under his arm. He walked over to Seiko, who was curled up as content as a cat. Kenshin put the meat on the floor and with his sakabato, cut into small pieces in a few seconds. He took a piece and with his palm flat, offered it to Seiko. The dragon cautouly sniffed, and with a jabbing motion, took the meat and swallowed it with a jerking motion. Kenshin fed her this way for a while, careful to keep his fingers out of the way. When he offered the last piece, the dragoness considered it for a moment, and then lazily snapped it up. Kenshin felt the unrelentless weights of sleep over take him. Seiko curled up next to him, and both dragon and Rider slept peacefully.

Kenshin woke up early dawn, opening his eyes and rubbing the sleepies from his eyes with a spine-cracking yawn. Memories from last night overwhelmed him last a tsunami, and he looked around for Seiko. But the dragoness was not around. Kenshin fully awoke with a panicked start, and cast out his mind for Seiko. The hatchling was some ware nearby. Oh no, if Kaoru was to find out… Kenshin really did not what to think about her reaction at that moment. He ran out of the room, the door was widely ajar. After a few minutes of running around, he suddenly came around to giant mud puddle. Kenshin, who was still running that point tripped over a rock and with an "oro!" fell in the puddle with a big spash! Kenshin was covered in heavy brown filth, and with a groan, shook his head to rid his head of most of the muck. Not bad, but try jumping a little more gracefully next time. Kenshin whipped around, and found a very muddy Seiko sitting on her haunches with a very impish grin. She was curling her upper lip and emitting a sort of coughing growl with some smoke. Kenshin glared What the hell is wrong with you? Seiko stopped the odd sound for a second, and with eyes sparkling Nothing, it is just funny seeing you trip like that after all the maneuvers you have pulled in your life. She emitted the coughing growl again, and with embarrassment, Kenshin realized she was laughing at him. She's an enigma with wings! How am I gonna handle her? Kenshin tried to hold on to the dregs of dignity he had left by getting up with a disgusted groan, and said to Seiko Let us wash the filth on mine skin and your scales. Seiko got up and followed him to the bathhouse, eager to be clean. Kenshin had to smile at her eagerness. Yep, she's your regular dirty little secret.

There you have it folks, just like I promised. I have to shower now too cuz I smell at the moment.

Kenshin-Wow, we have found something we both agree on!

U.B.- HOW DARE YOU!

Intermission

Oh, and I will have a special guest next chappie, so read and review.