1Epitome of Distraction: Well, guess what? is evil, that's what! It's screwing up my story format, and it won't let me put in underscores! There's nothing I can do about the format, but at least I can tell you what the real "screen names" are. So here they are:

Hermione: Behind(underscore)a(underscore)Book

Ron: CannonLvnQT(underscore)06

Seamus: Big(underscore)Irish(underscore)Boi

Person who wrote the article: MidnightDragon

Now, on with the story.

Chapter 3

You have been invited to an HIIM conversation by Miss Scarlet with the Candle Stick. Do you accept?

Mr. Average: Hi, Ginny. What's up?

Miss Scarlet with the Candle Stick: Not a lot. I'm just avoiding writing my Potions Essay. How about you?

Mr. Average: About the same. I'm waiting for Hermione to come back from…wherever she is…so she can help me with Herbology.

Miss Scarlet with the Candle Stick: Do you not know where she is?

Mr. Average: She's been disappearing quite often lately. I thought she'd be in the library, but she wasn't in when I went to check up on her.

Miss Scarlet with the Candle Stick: Maybe she stepped out for a moment.

Mr. Average: That's a possibility.

Mr. Average: So, anything interesting happen to you today?

Miss Scarlet with the Candle Stick: Not really. I've mostly been playing around on the Intranet. Oh, I've figured out a way to have multiple accounts. That is, I can be registered twice, with different names.

Mr. Average: That's an odd thing. Why would you want more than one?

Miss Scarlet with the Candle Stick: Well, I don't know. I know Ron has more than one. He uses one for things he doesn't want to be caught doing, like co-creating a "Mature" site with Seamus.

Mr. Average: That's a good reason. I'd want a second account for that, too.

Miss Scarlet with the Candle Stick: Hey, have you seen the Harry Potter Fan Site yet?

Mr. Average: The what?

Miss Scarlet with the Candle Stick: The Harry Potter Fan Site. A bunch of girls (and boys) created a site completely dedicated to the hero, hunk, and hottie that is Harry Potter.

Mr. Average: …

Miss Scarlet with the Candle Stick: Let me introduce you to faces. The one you're making right now is: O.o

Mr. Average: O.o

Miss Scarlet with the Candle Stick: Seriously though, you should check it out. There's some very interesting stuff on there. You look adorable sleeping, by the way.

Mr. Average: What? You've seen me asleep?

Miss Scarlet with the Candle Stick: There are pictures on this site.

Mr. Average: Someone has pictures of me asleep?

Miss Scarlet with the Candle Stick: Quite a lot of people do now.

Mr. Average: How did someone get pictures of me asleep?

Miss Scarlet with the Candle Stick: I've no idea. Though I think the bigger question is: how did someone get pictures of you showering?

Mr. Average: How the hell did someone get pictures of me showing!

Miss Scarlet with the Candle Stick: I'm sure I have no idea. Would you like me to show you how to get to the site?

Mr. Average: YES!

Miss Scarlet with the Candle Stick: You're in your dorm room? I'll be right up.

Mr. Average: -- Alright.