Remembrance

Kagura Kyo Shinra

Warning: This contains shounen-ai. That's boy-boy love. If you don't like that then don't read it.

Disclaimer: I own nothing related to Final Fantasy.

Part Three:

"Wake up!"

Seifer opened his eyes and the angry face of Rinoa came into focus.

"What are you doing . . . "

"Get up!" she bellowed and kicked the bed.

"What is it?" he screamed back at her. "I'm trying to sleep."

"I don't care what you're trying to do, and do you know why that is? It's because you're the dumbest person I know."

Seifer stood up, growing irritated at her now. She had no right to invade his home and start harassing him without explaining herself.

"Are you going to explain anything to me?"

"Well, for starters, did you know that running Garden is a lot harder than it looks. Well, that's what Quistis told me anyway?" she spat.

"Why is Quistis running Garden? Is Squall sick?" he asked.

"Oh, well, maybe. You see nobody's seen him after he left here last week. We've all been searching for him, but even Laguna has no clue where he's at. I spoke to Squall right after he left here, and he told me everything."

Seifer shrugged, trying to express that he didn't care, but deep down his heart was racing. Squall wouldn't have done anything stupid? Even though Seifer had pushed him away when Squall had come to him full of hope, surely Squall was okay.

"What does this have to do with me?"

"Are you a total moron?" she asked, incredulous. "It's all your fault because you're an idiot."

"Stop calling me an idiot!" he shouted. "He's the one who lied to me. It's his fault."

"Oh, boohoo. He said he didn't have any confusion about how he felt for you when he was so afraid of his feelings that he could hardly breathe."

"He was really that afraid?"

"Yes," Rinoa nodded, her anger subsiding. "All he could think about was what if he said he might like you but he didn't like you. He knew that would only end up hurting you. Plus he was just afraid of you and himself. I understand you should be hurt by his lie, but to completely reject him . . ."

Seifer stared at her, and he suddenly realized how much of a fool he was for rejecting Squall. It wasn't as if Squall lied just to hurt Seifer. He was trying to protect both of them, and now he was somewhere, perhaps hurt, and it was all Seifer's fault.

"I'm such an ass," he muttered.

"Glad you finally agree. Now, get out there and find him."

"Right!" Seifer agreed.

He headed for the door, but Rinoa stopped him.

"Wait. Where are you going to look? You have no idea where he is."

"He's like a little boy who's just been wounded, where do you think children go when they get hurt?"

Rinoa thought for a moment, and then shook her head.

"We've already been to Esthar. Laguna hasn't seen him."

"Um, Rinoa," Seifer said. "Do me a favor and ask me something you know the answer to."

"Okay . . . Seifer, did you used to live in an orphanage?" she asked, confused.

"Actually, no I didn't. You see I had a wonderful set a parents and lived with them all my life until recently."

Rinoa furrowed her eyebrows and stared at him, about to protest.

"You see how easy that was?" Seifer inquired. "It's called a lie, Rinoa. Sometimes people do it to be mean, and sometimes they do it to protect someone, like a parent lying for their child because they don't want to see anybody."

"You're an ass," she laughed. "Just get out of here and bring him home."

"You can count on it."

Seifer banged on the door to Laguna's office and sighed angrily. He'd been given the runaround as soon as he arrived in Esthar and decided it was a mistake to announce that he was there looking for Squall. Everybody seemed to be in on the secret of keeping Squall hidden, but Seifer had finally managed to sneak his way inside to Laguna's office.

"I knew it'd be you," Laguna said when he opened the door. "Kiros and Ward said they saw you heading this way. I told them to let me deal with you."

"I want to see Squall," Seifer stated. "I know he's here."

Laguna studied Seifer for a moment the way a warrior studies its enemy. After about a minute, he shrugged.

"You're right. Squall is here, but he doesn't want to see anybody, especially you. And even if he did, I wouldn't let you in there to hurt my son again."

Once again, Seifer gave an angry sigh. If it wasn't Squall's horrible memory or Seifer's retardation, it was people trying to protect Squall from him. How would he ever make it up to Squall if he couldn't even see him.

"I'm not going to hurt him."

"Just like you weren't going to hurt him before when you rejected him?" Laguna spat. "There's no way you're hurting him again. He's my son, and I'm going to protect him."

"Making up for all those lost years, eh?" Seifer asked snidely.

Laguna's face flushed. "I . . . I had no choice. I had to leave him there. There was so much I had to do here."

"Save it, Laguna," Seifer said. "It's not your job to protect him. Your time to protect him was when he was a child, but you missed that. Now it's time for me to protect him. I'm not going to let you stop me from telling him that I'm sorry, that I need him!"

Laguna stared at Seifer, reading him again. "You do seem serious," he said. "Perhaps I am just trying to make up for those years by keeping him away from his friends and you. I just wanted to help."

"If you want to help, then let me see him," Seifer pleaded. "I was stupid, but you don't know how much I care for him. My pain began the day I saw his face, and it can't end until I feel his arms around me. Please, don't keep me from him."

Laguna rested a hand on Seifer's shoulder. "I was wrong. You're not the monster I was making you out to be in my head, and I lied. Squall never said he didn't want to see you . . . or his other friends. I just wanted to protect him. I'll help you, Seifer because I know you can be there for him the way you should be. I ran away from him, but you're running to him. If anybody deserves to protect him, it's you."

"Thank you, Laguna," Seifer smiled.

"The annual Estharian ball celebrating the defeat of Adel is tonight. You can see him then. It'll be more romantic that way," Laguna said happily.

Squall rolled his eyes and entered the Estharian palace ballroom. Laguna was throwing some annual ball that Squall couldn't care less about, somehow, he had managed to force Squall to show up for at least a few minutes. All Squall wanted to do was hide in his room, feeling sorry for himself and drowning in thoughts of Seifer, but Laguna seemed so excited about it that Squall couldn't refuse.

"Aren't you glad you came?" Laguna pressed.

He dragged Squall to an empty table, but as soon as they sat down, Laguna was on his feet again, dancing.

"Oh, my God," Squall complained. "Everyone's staring at you."

"It's alright," Laguna assured. "Come on, Squall."

"I don't think so. I don't really like dancing that much."

"Just like your mother," Laguna sighed.

"Raine didn't like to dance?" Squall asked.

"No, she loved to dance, but only with me. She wouldn't dance with anyone else or alone. She said that dancing was something two people who loved each other should share."

Squall looked down and felt his heart tighten. He always thought that Raine and Laguna's story was so depressing, but now his own story was beginning to match theirs.

"Sorry, if I made you sad," Laguna apologized. "Anyway, I was wondering when are you going back to Garden?"

Squall looked up at his father and shook his head. He couldn't go back there, not without Seifer at his side.

"I'm not," he whispered. "There's too many memories there that I want to forget."

Laguna nodded and sat back down.

"I'm not good at the talking thing, but I think everything will work out fine," he smiled. "Now, I'm gonna get out there and bust a few moves."

He jumped up and raced onto the dance floor, instantly making a fool out of himself but not caring in the least. Squall laughed a little to himself at the sight. It reminded him of Seifer. Seifer never cared what people thought of him, but Squall could never do something like that. He'd be to worried what people thought. The only time he could forget a little was when he was with Seifer, but . . . Only memories remained.

Unable to watch the sight any longer, Squall headed for the balcony where he could be alone again to wallow in his sorrow. As he stared out at the vastness of Esthar, he felt a strange pain that he would never again see Balamb again or hear the sounds of the students . . . or of Seifer.

"This place is like a wasteland. Balamb is so much more beautiful," a voice behind him stated.

Squall's heart skipped, and he spun around. With a smirk on his face, Seifer stood before Squall, staring at him with his powerful gaze, the gaze that always warmed Squall's heart.

"You're here!" Squall gasped. "Why? How?"

"Well, as to how, I don't really want to get into that again. I've already made Rinoa feel like an idiot," Seifer explained cryptically.

"Okay," Squall laughed, but he was a little confused by Seifer's response. "Well, then why?"

"Somebody helped me realize that I've been a moron for about a week now."

Squall smiled, feeling a joy he hadn't felt since he remembered how he felt for Seifer. Seifer had come back to him even after Squall lied, he had come back.

"I was an idiot too," Squall said, this time with tears of happiness brimming his eyes. "I shouldn't have lied to you."

"No, Squall. I should have realized you were afraid. I was only thinking of myself, not your fear. I had treated you so badly after you forgot about us, it was only right that you would be weary of me. I caused that."

"Let's not blame ourselves or each other anymore," Squall murmured.

"I agree."

Squall wanted more than anything for Seifer to take him in his arms, but Seifer didn't move, and Squall was too afraid to take a step forward. What if Seifer vanished like a fading dream? Why didn't Seifer hold him? Why was he still standing there?

"You're dad's an interesting dancer," Seifer said suddenly. "But why aren't you dancing?"

"Because my partner was late," Squall said with a blush.

"Forgive me," Seifer said with an elegant bow. "I lost my head for a while, but now I'm here."

He stepped forward and grabbed Squall's hand, pulling him into a tight embrace. Squall felt himself melt into that hold that he'd been waiting so long for. Like a light caress, Seifer brushed his lips against Squall's, and Squall accepted, finally finishing that kiss they had started so long ago.

"I wanna see you dance," Seifer whispered when they had pulled away. "You do dance, don't you?"

"With you?" Squall asked. "Always."

Seifer grinned and pulled Squall back into the ballroom and onto the floor. In perfect beat the pair danced together to a song that Squall would never forget. Years later when he was lying in Seifer's arms after making love, he would remember it and know that his life was perfect.

End