Author's Notes:Well, here it is; the sequel to "The Hedgehog in the Hat"! There isn't too much to say for this one, other than it's a bit closer to the original than "The Hedgehog in the Hat" was to its original. (sweatdrop) I never knew people paid that much attention to the details.
Oh, yeah... and I added one completely new section to it. XD You can thank "Shadow the Hedgehog" for that.
Anyway! I hope you all enjoy the story!
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The Hedgehog in the Hat Comes Back
(A parody of Dr. Seuss' "The Cat in the Hat Comes Back")
(Please read the original source material!)
(Or else bad things may happen!)
(D:)
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The scene opens on a small house, sitting on a hill, in the midst of fluffy white snowbanks, piled high on a cold winter's day. Just outside of the house, Metal Sonic and Shadow stand around, busily shoveling snow... or at least, Shadow is.
Shadow sighed and wiped his brow. "This was no time for play.
"This was no time for fun.
"This was no time for games.
"There was work to be done."
With that, the black hedgehog went back to clearing an insanely long pathway that didn't appear to lead to any visible roads. Suddenly, Shadow looked up and glared at his robot friend. "Me... tal... Why... aren't you... helping me shovel...?" he panted, the exertion apparently taking more energy than it took to initiate a Chaos Control.
Meanwhile, Metal was casually leaning against a nearby tree, playing Sonic Advance on his GameBoy. "I'm a robot, I can't touch water," he pointed out matter-of-factly.
Unfortunately, this simple little statement was enough to throw the Ultimate Life Form into a spazzing fit. "What do you mean?" he screamed hysterically, throwing his shovel into the air. "This ain't water! This is snow!" he yelled, grabbing a handful of snow and tossing skyward as well. "See? Snow! S-N-O!"
Metal blinked, then added, "Double-u."
"Huh?" Suddenly, Shadow noticed the snow he had scattered around earlier float back down. "Hey, look, it's snowing aga-- OW!" he yelped, subsequently getting nailed on the head with his own shovel. Metal snickered.
"Hehe... aw, darn!" the robot muttered as he lost a life in his game.
Furiously, Shadow grabbed Metal's GameBoy and threw it into the nearest snowbank. "Bzzt!" sputtered the GameBoy before short-circuiting.
Metal gawked. "What did you just do?" he shouted, turning to Shadow, only to see the hedgehog brandishing his metal shovel in the same manner that one would hold a sword.
"What did I do?" Shadow sputtered. "It's more like, 'Why aren't you helping me shovel this very, very, very long pathway so that it is free! Of! Sno!"
Metal picked up his shovel, which had been lying discarded on the ground next to him. Angrily, he retorted, "Double-u!"
"What?" And without warning, Metal whacked Shadow upside the head with his shovel.
At that moment, Amy walked out of the house. "Boys!" she scolded. "What did I say about beating each other up with shovels?"
Shadow put his head and shovel down. "Sorry, Mom..."
Suddenly, Metal glanced toward you, the reader! "... I think the reader needs a filler," he whispered to Shadow.
The black hedgehog visibly perked up. "Flashback!"
The scene switches suddenly to a dark stage. Two shadowy figures shuffle out onto the wooden floor. A spotlight switches on, illuminating the figure of Metal Sonic!
Metal cleared his throat and began his tale. "It was a long time ago... that the Hedgehog in the Hat came to our house!"
Another spotlight clicked on, revealing Shadow standing next to the robot. "Oooo!" he chimed in cheesily.
"And he caused chaos!" Metal continued.
"Oooo!"
"And then, just as he left, our mom walked in!"
"Oooo!"
Metal shrugged. "Of course, since both Shadow and I don't have mothers, this was only playacting..."
"Oooo... oh... wait... I don't have a mom?"
"And our pretend mother was Amy!"
"Oooo-- I mean, ewww!"
"And... well... it's been a while since then," Metal finished.
"Oooo!" Shadow finished by waving his arms over his head.
Whack! In a fit of frustration, Metal hit Shadow over the head with the shovel... again. "Will you cut that out!"
"Owww..."
Metal sighed. "And... back to the present!"
Shadow grinned. "And that's why we're here!"
"You really should stop hitting him in the head like that..." Amy whispered to Metal.
But Metal shrugged. "Eh, so he's a little out-of-character, who cares?"
Meanwhile, Shadow was sitting on the steps leading up to the house, blowing bubbles with his spit. "Ooh, lookit that, it, like, freezes... since it's cold!" he said, quite observantly. "... aww, it popped..." he whined before blowing another one. "Oooh... it's all... saliva-y..."
Amy sweatdropped at the Ultimate Life's puzzling immaturity. "If you hit him again, will he go back to normal?"
"Umm... I don't know..." Metal mused. Then he suddenly whacked Shadow upside the head again. Amy and Metal stared as Shadow's eyes suddenly widened and his voice lowered a few octaves.
"Maria... I must keep Earth safe... for Maria..."
"Um..." Amy scratched her head, more confused than ever.
Just then, Shadow stood up. "I must... fulfill Maria's wish... everyone on Earth must be... happy!" he shrieked. And with that, he began to shovel snow with a vengeance.
Metal grinned. "Well, I'm happy! I don't have to shovel!"
But Amy grimaced. "Hit him again, turn him back, he's creepy..."
"But 'Mom'..."
"Do it!"
"Awww..." Metal sighed before hitting Shadow for a fourth and final time.
Shadow blinked in utter bewilderment. "What am I doing shoveling snow...?"
Sighing, Metal slapped his face and moaned, "What are we doing? We're completely off track..."
Grabbing her purse from off a table inside the house, Amy waved good-bye to Shadow and Metal. "Well, keep shoveling kids!" she said cheerfully as she skipped away over the shoveled pathway.
At that, Shadow grinned and started over. "This was no time for play.
"This was no time for fun.
"This was no time for games.
"There was work to be done.
"All that deep,
"Deep, deep snow,
"All that snow had to go.
"When our mother went
"Down to the town for the day,
"She said--"
Amy called back, "Somebody has to
"Clean all this away.
"Somebody, SOMEBODY
"Has to, you see."
Shadow pouted. "Then she picked out two Somebodies.
"Sally and me."
Metal promptly choked on the Shameless Plug Brand Coca-Cola he was drinking. "Sally?"
"Hey, you did it to me last time! Well... that is... in the original, script-form version," Shadow pointed out.
"Yeah, I know, but..."
"Hey... if you're a robot..." Shadow suddenly thought, "then how are you drinking Coca-Cola?"
"Uhhh... it's not Coca-Cola!" Metal said hurriedly. He ripped off the label, revealing another label underneath it that read, "PEPSI."
"..."
Metal sang in a monotone, robotic voice, "Ba ba ba ba ba, ba ba ba ba ba, the joy of Pepsi..."
The black hedgehog rolled his eyes. "Oh, come on. They ran that commercial in, like, 2004." Metal sweatdropped.
"Dang. I feel old."
Shadow coughed and continued. "Well...
"There we were.
"We were working like that
"And then who should come up
"But the HEDGEHOG IN THE HAT!"
All of a sudden, Sonic skied up... yes, skied up, wearing his very familiar Hedgehog in the Hat hat. "Hey guys!" he shouted with a Japanese accent.
Shadow grinned and waved. "Hi Sonic!"
Metal gasped. " 'Oh-oh!'
"Metal said.
" 'Don't you talk to that hedgie.
" 'That hedgehog is a bad one,
" 'That Hedgie-Who-Gets-Mad-When-We-Say-He-Has-A-Wedgie.' "
Sonic sweatdropped. "Like that could get any longer? And it's such an old joke, too."
"An oldie, but a goodie!" Shadow said.
"... shut up."
Metal continued. "He plays lots of bad tricks.
"Don't you let him come near.
"You know what he did
"The last time he was here."
Sonic raised an eyebrow. " 'Play tricks?'
"Laughed the hedgehog.
" 'Oh, my my! No, no... No Way!' "
Metal whacked Sonic in the head. Sonic glared at his robot counterpart and whined, "What was that for...?"
"Get your lines right!" shouted Metal.
"But I'm being original," Sonic muttered. Then he struck the Triumphant Pose. "I am special!"
Metal turned away and muttered, " 'Special' is not the word..."
Sonic pleaded, " 'I just want to go in
" 'To get out of the snow.
" 'Keep your mind on your work.
" 'You just stay there, you two.
" 'I will go in the house
" 'And find something to do.' "
"Did you know..." Sonic mused, "that snow is kind of like water? And I can't swim. So I gotta get inside."
At that, Metal turned and shouted at Shadow, "See? Snow is water! Snow is water! Sno--"
"... double-u?" Shadow chimed in. Metal sighed in defeat.
"What?" Sonic asked, confused. "What do you mean, 'w'?"
"No, not 'w', double-u," Shadow said, shaking his head.
"Uh... right," Sonic said, knowing better than to try and argue with the black hedgehog. "I'll be... going now..."
Shadow gasped, "Then that hedgehog went right in!
"He was up to no good!
"So I ran in after
"As fast as I could!"
"Which is pretty darn fast, by the way," the black hedgehog added.
"Do you know where I found him?
"You know where he was?
"He was eating a cake in the tub!
"Yes he was!"
Sonic's eye twitched. "... you can't rhyme a word with itself."
Double-checking the book, Shadow shook his head. "But... but that's what the book says..."
"Well... make something up," said the blue hedgehog, waving it off.
"Do you know where I found him?
"You know where he was?
"He was eating a cake in the tub!
"And... it was full of fuzz!"
Sonic sweatdropped.
"The hot water was on
"And the cold water, too.
"And I said to the hedgehog,
" '... you can't swim... uhh... BOO!' "
Sarcastically, Sonic remarked, rolling his eyes, "Oooh, I'm sooo scared..."
Completely missing the sarcasm, Shadow tilted his head to one side. "Really?"
"... never mind..."
"But... you still can't swim," said Shadow.
"... but I take baths," Sonic countered.
"But you can't swim."
Sonic stared at Shadow with a look of utter disbelief at his out-of-character immaturity. "... I can take a bath, Shadow."
"But..." Suddenly, Shadow realized something quite obvious. "Ahhh! You're taking a bath! Ahhh!" he shrieked, covering his eyes with his hands and running in circles (not the smartest thing to do).
Sonic yelped, "Holy cheese, I am!" Hurriedly, he threw the shower curtain shut... but not fast enough. Before it could close completely, two shovels came flying in the doorway, whacking Sonic and Shadow on their heads.
"Hurry up!" Metal shouted from outside.
Sonic coughed. "Umm... 'But I like to eat cake
" 'In a tub,'
"Laughed the hedgehog."
" 'You should try it some time,'
"Laughed Sonic as he... drank some eggnog."
Sonic raised an eyebrow at Metal's narration. "... eggnog?"
Metal shrugged. "Short notice. Couldn't come up with anything."
"'Tis the season to be jolly!" Shadow cheered, holding up a glass of said beverage.
Shadow tossed the eggnog out the window and said, "And then I got mad.
"This was no time for fun.
"I said, "Sonic! You get out!
"There is work to be done.
"I have no time for tricks.
"I must go back and dig.
"I can't have you in here
"Eating cake like a pig!
"You get out of this house!
"We don't want you about!"
"Then I shut off the water
"And let it run out.
"The water ran out.
"And then I SAW THE RING!
"A ring in the tub!
"And, oh boy! What a thing!"
"Ring?" Sonic yelled. "Where!"
"I want it!" Shadow chimed in.
"No way!" Sonic yelled, minus the accent this time. "I've got ninety-nine, I just need one more to get another extra life!"
"Oh no you don't!" Shadow yelled for no apparent reason. Then, jumping into the air, he landed a perfect Homing Attack on Sonic, causing the blue hedgehog to drop all of his rings.
"My rings...!" Sonic cried. "Oh, you're gonna pay for that!" he shouted, launching a Homing Attack at Shadow.
Shadow flickered a few times and muttered, "Maria..." Much to Sonic's bewilderment, Shadow vanished into thin air... only to respawn right where he had previously been standing.
"... what kind of knucklehead walks around with no rings?" Sonic berated Shadow.
Suddenly, Knuckles swung by on a vine, Tarzan-style. "Wahoo!" he shouted, as he dropped twenty rings on the bathroom floor.
"Woo!" Sonic cheered, picking them up as Shadow looked on, disappointed.
Swinging by one last time, Knuckles chanted for the pure fun of it, "Yodel-ay-ee-hoo!" Finally, he disappeared into the distance...
"That was... odd," Sonic finally managed to comment.
"We have a weird bathroom," Shadow agreed.
Just then, from far off in the distance, the two hedgehogs sweatdropped to hear Knuckles say, "Hey, what happened to my rings?"
At that moment, Metal decided to look in the bathtub. "Uh, guys... I don't think it's that kind of ring..."
"You mean... 'The Ring'?" Shadow grinned, wiggling his fingers in a creepy way.
Sonic sweatdropped. "Don't even talk about that!" he shouted. Finally, he took a look in the bathtub himself. There, he noticed an actual bathtub ring. "... oh. Well, I didn't do it." Metal and Shadow stared at the blue hedgehog. "... what?"
Shadow shouted, "A big long pink hedgehog ring!
"It looked like pink ink!
"And I said, 'Will this ever
" 'Come off? I don't think!'
" 'Have no fear of that ring,'
"Laughed the Hedgehog in the Hat."
" 'Why, I can take hedgehog rings
" 'Off tubs. Just like that!' "
Sonic grabbed a nearby piece of fabric and wiped the pink ring onto it. "All done!" he said, grinning. But Shadow gasped in horror.
"Do you know how he did it?
"WITH MOTHER'S WHITE DRESS!
"Now the tub was all clean,
"But her dress was a mess!"
Sonic looked at the item in his hand and realized that it was, indeed, a dress... formerly white. He was about to go into a spazzing fit when he thought and said, "Wait... I thought Amy liked pink?"
"Yeah... that's right," Shadow agreed.
"Hmm... let's leave it," Sonic decided.
"Then Metal looked in.
"Metal saw the dress, too!
"And Metal and I
"Did not know what to do."
"What's there to do? Amy likes pink, right?" Sonic pointed out.
Metal winced. "No! That's the white dress Amy wants to wear when she marries you!
The blue hedgehog gaped. "What the cheese...!"
"Ewww!" Shadow said childishly. "Sonic and Amy, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!"
Sonic glared. "Cut it out..."
Shadow grinned and did a little dance. "First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes Sonic with a baby carriage! Ha ha ha!"
Amidst the wild laughter of the black hedgehog, Metal pointed at Shadow. "That's you!" he said.
"Ha ha ha... what!" Shadow yelped.
"Muwahahaha!" Metal laughed evilly. Apparently, villainous ways die hard.
Sonic stared at Shadow, willing to do anything to avoid such a destiny. "... for the love of hedgehogity somebody run me over quick..."
Ignoring Sonic's mental anguish, Shadow continued, "We should work in the snow.
"But that dress! What a spot!"
Metal added, " 'It may never come off!'
"Metal said."
" 'It may not!'
"But the hedgehog laughed,"
Sonic grinned, " 'Ho! Ho!
" 'I can make that spot go.
" 'The way I take spots off a dress
" 'Is just so!' "
Shadow's eyes widened. "Pleeaase! Leave-the-spot-on-so-Amy-doesn't-have-a-wedding-dress-so-you-don't-get-married-and-you're-not-my-parents!"
"... whuh?" Sonic blinked.
"Leave the spot on so Amy doesn't have a wedding dress so you don't get married and you're not my parents!" Shadow blurted out hysterically.
Suddenly, a spotlight appeared out of nowhere and shone down on Sonic. The blue hedgehog realized that he was being forced into a tormenting decision... Choosing one of two horrible fates, one of marrying Amy, and one of... suffering the author's horrible, horrible wrath. "Uhh... uhh... uhh... I don't know!" he finally screeched.
Metal, knowing full well the extent of an author's power, shouted, "Do it! It's the right thing to do!"
Shadow, apparently having no idea of the concept of pain, shouted, "No! No no no no no no no!"
Sonic sweatdropped as Metal, wearing an Angel Chao halo and wings, grabbed his shoulders and shook him roughly back and forth. "Sonic! I am your conscience! What would Amy like you to do?"
Then, Shadow, dressed as a Devil Chao, complete with flaming Chao sphere and all, begged, "No! Don't do it! You don't wanna marry Amy! Right? And... you don't want to be my... right?"
"Uhh... uhh... uhh..."
Metal whirled around and whacked Shadow across the head. "Oh, come on! If he doesn't take the spot off the dress, then this story shall no longer move!"
Shadow shuddered. "But... but... if Amy's our mom... and she marries Sonic... then... then... then... I don't wanna be related to that guy!" Shadow wailed, pointing at Sonic.
"Hey!"
"Ahahaha!" Metal laughed hysterically at the thought. However, he suddenly stopped as Shadow pointed out...
"But... if we're brothers in this story, then..."
Metal promptly stopped laughing. Then, both Metal and Shadow turned to Sonic and screamed, "Don't do it! Don't do it!"
Sonic winced. "But for the love of all Sonamy fans! I must!"
Shadow and Metal sank to their knees in overly dramatic slow-motion. "Nooo!"
Sonic sobbed. " 'See here!'
"... sobbed the hedgehog.
" 'It is not hard at all.
" 'The thing that takes spots off a dress is a wall!'
"Then... then... we saw the hedgehog wipe
"The spot off the dress.
"Now the dress was all clean.
"But the wall! What a mess!"
Sonic stood back and sighed. "... I did it." But strangely enough, Shadow grinned and snickered.
"What are you so happy about?" Metal asked flatly. Shadow pointed at the wall, now covered in a large pink spot, which ironically spelled out the words, "Sonic + Amy 4ever!"
Sonic stared at the wall. "Aaugh!"
Metal stared as well. "... it's a curse."
"Curse of what?" Shadow asked happily.
Metal wiggled his fingers mysteriously. "The curse of Amy's house!"
Sonic scoffed. "You call that a curse? How about the curse of Amy herself? Her, following you everywhere, no matter where you may go..." The blue hedgehog shuddered. "Aargh, now I gotta wash that wall off... fast! Umm... aha!"
" 'Oh, wall spots!'
"He laughed.
" 'Let me tell you some news.
" 'To take spots off a wall,
" 'All I need is two shoes!' "
With that, Sonic grabbed a nearby pair of shoes and somehow scrubbed the wall with them. And, sure enough, the pink spot came off the wall and covered the shoes instead.
Shadow scratched his head. "That is a familiar looking pair of shoes... but I can't quite place where I've seen them before..."
"Whose shoes did he use?
"I looked and saw whose!
"And I said to the hedgehog,
" 'This is very bad news.
" 'Now the spot is all over
" 'DAD'S... oh no... 10 DOLLAR SHOES!' "
Sonic's eyes widened.
Metal glanced at the red and white soapshoes that Sonic had used to clean the wall with. "Hey! Those are your shoes!"
Shadow, missing the point entirely, gaped and said, "... ten bucks? Ten bucks for soapshoes? You don't know how incredibly cheap that is!"
"... Aaaaauuuuuggghh!" Sonic screamed.
Metal looked at the shoes, then looked at Shadow. "... you know what this means, right?"
"... I just said that Sonic's shoes belonged to my dad?"
"Pretty durn close!" Metal shouted. "Sonic's shoes belong to Sonic!"
"No..." Shadow said slowly, shaking his head. "They belong to my dad."
"Aaugh!" Metal screamed, running in circles.
"... wait..." Shadow said, a shadow of an idea dawning on him. "If Sonic's shoes belong to my dad... and Sonic's shoes belong to Sonic... then... that means..." Suddenly, Shadow's face went blank. Sonic and Metal stopped screaming and running and stared at the black hedgehog.
"Then... that means..." Shadow murmured. "... hamburger!"
"What?"
"We are stuck in the time space continuum that is equal to the square of an isoceles triangle that belongs T minus six milliseconds in the past/future and the right angle is causing a fluke somewhere within the sum of the ice cream and by the circumference of these shoes," here Shadow paused, holding up the spot-covered shoes, "and with the Magna Carta limiting the power of Britain's monarchy, 'Can you feel life moving through your mind? Ooh, it came back for more, yeah yeah yeah!' I hereby decree... hamburger!" Shadow stopped to breathe, and promptly fell over.
Sonic and Metal sweatdropped. "That was a little too... smart for Shadow to say," Sonic murmured, not really understanding a word of it. "It makes me scared."
"That made absolutely no sense!" Everybody jumped, then turned around, only to see Tails storm out of the house angrily.
"Well..." Metal said shakily, holding up the script, "... we have to keep going... I guess..."
" 'But your dad...'" Sonic started, before pausing. "Hold it, this can't be right..."
"What is it?" Metal asked.
"I'm talking about your dad... as if he's somebody else!" Sonic said.
"Well... maybe he is," Metal pointed out.
Sonic sweatdropped. "Oh, right, and these shoes belong to Knuckles?"
"I like to dig holes in search of gold!" Everybody sweatdropped as they watched Knuckles swing by on his vine.
"... that was completely random," Metal finally commented.
"But lucky for me!" Sonic said, grinning.
"What? Why?" Metal sweatdropped again as Sonic held up Knuckles's shoes. "What the cheese...?"
With that, Sonic took the pink spot off his own shoes and put them on Knuckles's. "There we go, we're all set!"
" 'But Knuckles will not
" 'Know about that,'
" Said the Hedgehog.
" 'He will never find out,'
"Laughed the Hedgehog... uhh..." Shadow paused from his narration. "Uhh... Laughed the Hedgehog with... something on his... nog... gin... noggin... yeah..."
Sonic looked at Shadow very strangely. "Er...
" 'His 10 dollar shoes will have
" 'No spots at all.
" 'I will rub them right off
" 'On this rug in the hall.' "
Sonic then dragged the shoes along a rug... a white rug. Have you ever tried getting stains off of a white rug...?
Shadow gasped, " 'But now we have rug spots!'
"I yelled. 'What a day!
" 'Rug spots! What next?
" 'Can you take THEM away?' "
" 'Don't ask me,'
"He laughed.
" 'Why, you know that I can!'
"Then he picked up the rug
"And away Sonic ran."
Sonic grinned. " 'I can clean up these rug spots
" 'Before you count three!
" 'No spots are too hard
" 'For the Blue Blur... that's me!' "
Shadow raised an eyebrow. "You're a little full of yourself, aint'cha?"
The blue hedgehog glared back. "... how very ironic that you're calling me full of myself... Mr. 'Ultimate Life Form'!"
"Hey!" Shadow said. "I am the Ultimate Life Form!"
"He ran into Dad's bedroom
"And then the hedgie said,
" 'It is good that your dad
" 'Has the right kind of bed.' "
"Umm... Sonic..." Shadow said.
"What?"
"Umm... look at the bed..."
"Leave me alone!" Sonic muttered. "I have to finish so that we can get done with this weirdo story!"
"Then he shook the rug!
"CRACK!
"Now the bed had the spot!
"And all I could say was,
" 'Now what, Sonic?
" 'NOW what?'
"But the hedgehog just stood still.
"He just looked at the bed."
Sonic stared at the bed.
"Is there... something wrong?" Metal asked.
"... I did say, 'It is good that your dad has the right kind of bed, right?" Sonic asked.
"... yeah," Metal answered, then glanced at the bed. Suddenly, his eyes widened in fright. Shadow turned to look as well...
All three hedgehogs (well... two hedgehogs and a robot) stared at the word "SONIC," written prominently across the headboard.
"Augh!" Sonic screamed, running around in circles. Meanwhile, Shadow stood to one side, thinking... thinking... thinking...
"What is it now?" Metal asked the black hedgehog.
Shadow thought... and thought... and thought... and lightbulb! "I've got it!" he shouted, grabbing a permanent marker. In one swift movement, he crossed out the word "SONIC" and wrote "BED." "That's not Sonic! That's a bed!" he pointed out happily. Sonic and Metal fell over.
"Well... I guess that's technically right..." Sonic muttered, standing up.
"Hurry up and fix the bed so that we can finish with this," Metal said.
But Sonic looked sadly at the bed. " 'This is NOT the right kind of a bed,'
"The hedgie said.
" 'To take spots off THIS bed
" 'Will be hard,'
"Said the hedgehog.
" 'I can't do it alone,'
"Said the Hedgehog with... Eggnog!" Shadow finished.
"Eggnog?" Metal repeated. "Again? Dang it, you're stealing my ideas."
"Yummy!" Shadow grinned. Sonic sweatdropped.
"Um..." the robot interrupted, "may I remind you that I am unable to eat and/or drink...?"
"Aww!" Shadow said. "Poor Metal! Forever doomed to a life of oil and gasoline!" Metal sweatdropped.
Sonic continued, " 'It is good I have someone
" 'To help me,'
"He said.
" 'Right here in my hat
" 'On the top of my head!
" 'It is good that I have him
" 'Here with me today.
" 'He helps me a lot.
" 'This is Little Sonic A.' "
Sonic lifted up his hat, revealing a miniaturized Sonic (everybody say "aww!") under it!
"Aww!" said Shadow.
"Augh! Pain!" Little Sonic A suddenly shouted, standing up and removing himself from where he had been tangled up in some of Sonic's loose quills.
To the audience, Shadow added, "And that is why having small versions of yourself under your ridiculously large hat really only works with cats."
"And the Little Sonic A
"Took the hat off HIS head."
Little Sonic A grinned. " 'It is good I have someone
" 'To help ME,'
"He said.
" 'This is Little Sonic B.
" 'And I keep him about,
" 'And when I need help
" 'Then I let him come out.' "
Little Sonic B stood on top of Little Sonic A's head and waved. "Hi!"
"Hi!" Shadow said, waving back.
"And then B said,
" 'I think we need Little Sonic C.
" 'That spot is too much
" 'For the A Sonic and me.
" 'But now, have no fear!
" 'We will clean it away!
" 'The three of us! Little Sonics B, C, and A!'
" 'Come on! Take it away!'
"Yelled Little Sonic A.
" 'I will hit that old spot
" 'With this broom! Do you see?
" 'It comes off the old bed!
" 'It goes on the T.V.' "
At this point, the Little Sonics were quite rudely interrupted as Shadow jumped up and yelled, "Nooo! Not the T.V.!" The black hedgehog grabbed a nearby GameCube, hugging it to himself. "Not my GaaameCuuube!"
"..."
Metal coughed and continued, seeing as how Shadow had appeared to have forsaken his narrating duties. "And then Little Sonic B
"Cleaned up the T.V.
"He cleaned it with... milk... right...
"And put the spot in a pan!
"And then C blew it out
"Of the house with a fan!"
Shadow gasped. " 'But look where it went!'
"I said. 'Look where it blew!
" 'You blew the mess
" 'Out of the house. That is true.
" 'But now you made Snow Spots!
" 'You can't let THEM stay!' "
" 'Let us think about that now,'
"Said C, B, and A."
"Hmm... this is hard," said Little Sonic B.
The tiny hedgehog suddenly jumped as Shadow flew into a Triumphant Pose right next to him. "Do not fear, my blue friend! We shall press on! Until the end!"
Metal clapped patronizingly. "Nice rhyming..."
"Rhyming is addictive!" Shadow shouted.
" 'With some help, we can do it!'
"Said Little Sonic C.
"Then POP! On his head
"We saw Little Sonic D!
"Then POP! POP! POP!
"Little Sonics E, F, and G!"
The Little Sonics spoke in unison. " 'We will clean up that snow
" 'If it takes us all day!
" 'If it takes us all night,
" 'We will clean it away!'
"Said Little Sonics G, F, E, D, C, B, A."
Sonic stared at the multitude of Little Sonics around him. "... wow."
"And they were all in your hat?" Metal said in wonder.
"They ran out of the house then
"And we ran out, too."
All of the Sonics and Metal dashed out of the house, followed by Shadow...
"And the Big Sonic laughed,
" 'Now you will see something new!
" 'My Sonics are clever.
" 'My Sonics are good shots.
" 'My Sonics have good guns.
" 'They will kill all those spots!' "
Suddenly, everybody froze.
"... shots?" Metal repeated.
"... guns?" Sonic sweatdropped. "Personally, I wouldn't be caught dead using those things!" he shouted. Metal fell over.
"Who cares about what you think about weapons!" the robot shouted, standing back up. "I know you don't use them! But what about...?" Sonic's and Metal's eyes widened in fright, neither wanting to turn around and face the black hedgehog behind them...
But then...
"It's okay, guys!" Shadow yelled, catching up with the others. "I'm fine! I'm fine! Really! I wouldn't do that! Not here! Not now!" The black hedgehog waved his hands around in the air, showing that he was, indeed, unarmed.
"If you say so..." Sonic said, raising an eyebrow. Suddenly, he felt a tug at his hand.
Looking down, he saw Little Sonic A, holding a... SMG. "Can we get started?" Little Sonic A whined.
Sonic sweatdropped. "Give me that!" he yelled, grabbing the firearm away from the small Sonic. "Take this instead," he muttered, handing a pop gun to Little Sonic A.
"Ahhh!" Metal screamed. "Use of firearms! This story's rating just went waaay up!"
"Shut up!" Sonic yelled, whacking Metal upside the head with his free hand. "Nobody's actually going to use this thing!"
Just then, Metal noticed something out of the corner of his eye... and what he saw, frightened him. "Uhh... Sonic..."
"Yeah?"
"I'd... get rid of that, if I were you."
"Huh? Why?" Sonic glanced at the machine gun, holding it gingerly at arm's length. "I mean, besides the obvious."
"Uhh..." Metal pointed cautiously. "Somebody's... scaring me..."
"Huh?" Sonic turned to look where the robot was pointing... "Uhh... Shadow?"
"..." Shadow's eyes were firmly fixed on the SMG. As Sonic and Metal watched him, they saw something strange come into the black hedgehog's eyes... a wild look, as if he were just about... ready... to...
TAKE IT!
"Ackk!" Sonic yelped, and without another thought, he ran off at full speed. Returning only a matter of seconds later without the gun in his hands, he sighed in relief.
"... eh?" Shadow blinked a few times, then looked around. "What just happened?"
"That doesn't matter... it's over now..." Sonic muttered.
"Where'd you put that thing?" Metal asked.
"Somewhere where it'll serve a good purpose..." Sonic sighed.
Hearing a terrible racket in a nearby room, Yuji Naka rushed toward the nosie. "What's wrong?" he asked.
One of the other workers at SonicTeam trembled and pointed at a table, where a sub-machine gun was sitting. "It just appeared out of nowhere!" the worker shrieked.
Naka stepped toward it cautiously. Suddenly, he noticed a note attached to the weapon...
"Don't ever use these in a Sonic game again!"
"Anyway!" Shadow continued.
"But this did not look
"Very clever to me.
"Kill snow spots with pop guns?
"That just could not be!
" 'All this does is make MORE spots!'
"We yelled at the Hedgehog.
" 'Your chibis are no good.
" 'Put them back and drink eggnog!' "
"Again with the eggnog!" Sonic shouted.
" 'Take your Little Sonics G,
" 'F, E, D, C, B, A.
" 'Put them back in your hat
" 'And you take them away!' "
" 'Oh, no!'
"Said the hedgie.
" 'All they need is more help.
" 'Help is all that they need.
" 'So keep still and don't yelp.' "
"Then Little Sonic G
"Took the hat off his head.
" 'I have Little Sonic H
" 'Here to help us,'
"He said.
" 'Little Sonics H, I, J,
" 'K, L, and M.
" 'But out work is so hard
" 'We must have more than them.
" 'We need Little Sonic N.
" 'We need O. We need P.' "
Shadow snickered immaturely. "You need p--"
Metal mercilessly slapped a hand over Shadow's mouth. "Shut up."
Little Sonic G continued, " 'We need Little Sonics Q, R, S, T,
" 'U, and V.' "
" 'Come on! Kill those spots!
" 'Kill the mess!"
" 'Yelled the hedgehogs.
" 'And they jumped at the snow
" 'With long rakes and red... eggnogs!
" 'They put it in pails
" 'And they made high pink hills!
" 'Pink snow men! Pink snow balls!
" 'And little pink pills!
"Well... if this isn't Amy's paradise," Sonic remarked, surveying the yard.
"Oh, the things that they did!
"And they did them so hard,
"It was all one big spot now
"All over the yard!
"But the Big Sonic stood there
"And he said,
" 'This is good.
" 'This is what they should do
" 'And I knew that they would.
" 'With a little more help,
" 'All the work will be done.
" 'They need one more hedgie.
" 'And I know just the one.
" 'Look close! In my hand
" 'I have Little Sonic V.
" 'On his head are Sonics W,
" 'X, Y, and Z.
" 'Z is too small to see.
" 'So don't try. You can not.
" 'But Z is the hedgie
" 'Who will clean up that spot!' "
Sonic smiled and held Z on the tip of his finger... that is, we think. We couldn't see him.
" 'Now here is the Z
" 'You can't see,'
"Said the hedgecat.
" 'And I bet you can't guess
" 'What he has in HIS hat!' "
Sonic sweatdropped. "'Hedgecat'?"
Shadow shrugged. "It has to rhyme with 'hat'."
Sonic turned away and muttered, "... hedgecat...?"
" 'He has something called VOOM.
" 'Voom is so hard to get,
" 'You never saw anything
" 'Like it, I bet.
" 'Why, Voom cleans up anything
" 'Clean as can be!'
"Then he yelled,
" 'Take your hat off now,
" 'Little Sonic Z!
" 'Take the Voom off your head!
" 'Make it clean up the snow!
" 'Hurry! You little Sonic!
" 'One! Two! Three! GO!'
"Then the Voom... uh... the Voom..." Shadow stopped.
"What?" Sonic asked.
"... there is no Voom." Everybody looked around and noticed that the snow was still pink.
Sonic frowned and turned to the invisible Sonic. "Hey! Where's the Voom?"
"Squeak squeak squeakity squeaky squeak..."
"Whuh?" Metal frowned. "I can't hear it!"
"Tails to the rescue!" Everybody turned around again and saw Tails, holding up a stethoscope! The fox handed the stethoscope to Sonic, who used it to listen to Little Sonic Z...
"... stupid interdimensional pockets... lost the stupid Voom... ooh! Chao plushie!" Sonic sweatdropped as Little Sonic Z cheered happily. "Uhh... anyway... what am I looking for? Oh, yeah, Voom. Voom! Where are you?" The tiny Sonic stopped muttering to himself and dug through his hat for the Voom.
Sonic sweatdropped. "We may be a while..."
A while later...
"Squeaky squeak!" Little Sonic Z said triumphantly.
"Tails!" Sonic called. "Bring me the stethoscope!" Tails handed Sonic the stethoscope, who quickly listened to what Little Sonic Z was saying...
Little Sonic Z cheered, "I found the Voo--"
VOOOOOOOOOOM!
"Then the Voom...
"It went VOOM!
"And, oh boy! What a VOOM!
"Now, don't ask me what Voom is.
"I never will know.
"But, boy! Let me tell you
"It DOES clean up snow!
" 'So you see!'
"Laughed the Hedgehog,
" 'Now your snow is all white!
" 'Now your work is all done!
" 'Now your house is all right!
" 'And you know where my little Sonics are?'
"Said the hedge... cat. Ehe.
" 'That Voom blew my little Sonics
" 'Back in my hat.
" 'And so, if you ever
" 'Have spots, now and then,
" 'I will be very happy
" 'To come here again...
" '... with Little Sonics A, B, C, D...
" 'E, F, G...
" 'H, I, J, K...
" 'L, M, N...
" 'and O, P...
" 'and Q, R, S, T...
" 'and Sonic U and Sonic V...
" 'and Little Sonics W
" 'X
" 'Y
" 'and Z!' "
The End!
(Of the book, that is.)
Little Sonic X walked by the other Sonic characters. "Watch Sonic X! Every Saturday morning!" With that, he disappeared into Sonic's hat.
"Well..." Sonic remarked. "That fic was bizarre."
"So, what do we do now?" Shadow asked.
"Wait for Amy to come home, I guess," Metal shrugged.
A wind whistled past, and a tumbleweed rolled along in front of the Sonic gang.
"... how did a tumbleweed get into Amy's house?" Sonic asked. Shadow and Metal shrugged in reply.
At that moment, Amy walked in the door! "Hey guys!" she said with a Japanese accent.
Sonic frowned. "That's my line!"
"Oh! Sonic!" Amy said, noticing him for the first time. "You're here!"
"Darn it!" Sonic yelled, promptly jumping out the window... only to be slowed down by three feet of snow.
"Ha ha ha!" Shadow and Metal laughed.
Amy decided against jumping out of the window. Suddenly, she noticed her white dress. "Oh, you boys cleaned my dress for me!"
"Aww, it was nothing..." Metal said modestly.
Shadow grinned. "How much do we get paid?"
Just then, Sonic stomped in the front door. "Augh! I hate water! And I'm the one who cleaned your dress!"
Amy smiled happily and her eyes went sparkly, just like in some sort of clichéd anime romance scene. "Ohh, Sonic, you shouldn't have..."
"..." Sonic paled.
Shadow blinked. "Snow is water?"
"Yes!" Sonic and Metal yelled at him.
Shadow grinned. "Sno!"
"Double-u!" Metal added.
Little Sonic U peered in the open window. "Did somebody call me?"
"No! W!" Shadow countered.
Little Sonic W sweatdropped. "Huh?"
"So, Sonic... since you cleaned my dress..." Amy started.
Not liking the sound of this, but too curious to pass it up, Sonic replied, "Yeah...?"
"Knuckles!" Amy called.
Knuckles swung through the open window and jumped off the vine. "Yup! Here at your service ma'am!"
Amy grinned. "Guess what? Knuckles is licensed to perform the marriage ceremony for us! Isn't that great?"
The echidna nodded. "Yup! Congratulations!"
Sonic's eye twitched. "Aaugh!" he shouted, running away.
Meanwhile...
"W!" Shadow shouted.
"Double-u!" Metal countered.
Little Sonics U and W listened in confusion. "What!"
Knuckles watched as Sonic ran along the nicely shoveled pathway. "So... do I get paid yet?"
But Amy smacked the poor guy over the head with her Piko Piko Hammer. "You've got to catch him first!" she shrieked, pointing out the door.
"Umm... okay!" Knuckles took off after Sonic.
"W!"
"Double-u!"
"Calm down!" Amy said, finally getting tired of the spat. "It's double-W!"
"WW?" Shadow repeated.
"Double-double-u?" Metal sweatdropped.
All 26 Little Sonics fell over. "Huh?"
Amy smiled. "Well, that's all we have for now! I hope you enjoyed the story, everybody!"
Rouge blinked. "... why am I here at all?"
The End!