(Even After Wounds Heal, it's Not Over. Ch. 3)
"Kai!"
Kai suddenly coughed hard as Rei pressed down on his chest, forcing the water out of his lungs and air in. Vaguely he felt a hand reaching around his neck and turning his head to the side, preventing him from choking on the water he had just gotten up. What was...with that? I...I'm tired...
"Hey, Kai, you okay now?" Rei asked quietly, leaning over slightly to look into the others face as he held his neck steady, watching as he stopped regurgitating water and let his eyelids droop heavily. Damn, that was scary as hell. Kai, I really thought you had given up on us. Thank God for small favors. Still, why the hell did you do that?.
Kai looked up shakily, turning his head in Rei's soft hands to find everyone staring down at him intently, eyes full of worry and concern. "Yeah, I'm good. Just tired right now, that's all." Maybe they wont really worry too much and let me go take a nap. Actually, go to bed is more like it. A nice, soft, warm bed and some really cushy pillows is all I need right now...and something to snuggle up to...like Rei.
It couldn't have been more obvious if Kai had just spelled it out for them; he wanted to leaveAs of late, Kai was like an open book and wore his emotions on his sleeves. He didn't hide them at all and rarely cared when they all discovered his exact thoughts. It was as if he had just given up on trying to close himself off in a way.
"Maybe you should go lay down for a while..." Kenny suggested, turning to go grab a towel for Kai. It's just as well that we not bother him. A nap would definetly do him some good.
"Yeah, that sounds nice. If you guys don't mind that is. I hate to ruin your fun." Slowly Kai sat up, cringing as his back ached from God only knew what. As soon as he was sitting fully, he slumped forward, not really able to control his muscles at the moment. Crap...I can't believe how weak I am. I just don't have it in me to do anything any longer. No energy, no cares..I don't know what is wrong with me...
About then Kai felt a soft hand on his back, rubbing it gently while another hand squeezed his shoulder. Turning around to find the source of the touch, he found Rei to be the one with his hand on his back and Max was the one who had given his shoulder a squeeze. Kenny returned then with the towel, only to have Tyson snatch it from him and throw it over the older boy, wrapping him tightly in it.
"Now go get some sleep, mister. We don't want you doing that to us again." Tyson smirked, waving a finger in front of Kai's face as if he were scolding him. We don't need everyone to end up hurt or worse dead. Jeez...
"Okay-" Kai said, getting up to his feet only to have his legs give out underneath him. But he didn't get very far before arms caught him and wrapped themselves around his chest, supporting him. Instantly he knew who it was without even looking; there was no mistaking that soft skin, the gentle touch. "Thanks, Rei." I just want to melt now...
"Don't worry about it. I'll go with you to make sure you're alright." Well, I'm not really worried about that but I would really like to be alone with Kai for just a minute. Maybe this will give me a chance to ask him about...
"If you insist." Shit! Why the hell does he want to come with! I'm fine...I think...maybe...well...no. More like..."A-ACHOO!" Ah, damn it! I feel really cold now. Guess I hadn't realized how cold I've been all this time...actually, I've had a cold for the past week. Life is unfair...that or someone wants to torture me enough by leaving me alone with Rei. Just my luck.
"I do. Now come on, lets get you something for that cold." Rei said softly, hauling Kai over to the door and disappearing from sight, leaving the rest of the group to wonder. Dang, he's so light compared to what I thought he would weigh.
"Somethings gonna happen...!" Tyson cheered happily, jumping up and down with joy. I just know it! Those looks they get are so obvious to any one who is within fifty feet of them! More like 5 miles! HAHAHA!
"Hopefully. Those two really need to get a clue. The rest of the world sees it, but they don'th." Max added, nudging Tyson. Oblivious to the signals. Gah, it's kinda like me and...drop that now Max!
"Just hold on you guys. We don't know that. Besides...there are things between them that even we don't know..." Kenny trailed off, leaving the other two to look at him questioning then to the vacant door. We don't know what is going on and we have no way of helping them. We can't butt in; they have to figure it out for themselves.
(Scene Change)
"Key Key Key Key Key Key Key KEY! REI! I need you-"
"Hang on! I can't get it out with you all over me right now!" WAIT A SEC!
"But I can't wait any longer I need to get-" Kai started, clawing at Rei before clapping a hand over his mouth and holding his stomach, then sinking to the floor of the hallway in front of their room.
"Got it!" Rei yelled, opening the door quickly and watching as Kai rushed past him, turning into the bathroom and slamming the door shut. Is he really that sick? God, we never knew.
Closing the door silently and walking further into the room, Rei walked by the door, hearing a heaving sound coming from inside, before continuing on to the kitchen where he set the key on the bar that over looked from the kitchen to the living room. The room was dark, save for a small lap that stood near the balcony, but all was revealed when Rei turned on the living room light and t.v., then returned to the kitchen.
As he filled a glass with water, his thoughts wandered to other things. Poor Kai, now he's sick. I can't imagine how he must feel right now. Maybe I should wait to ask him about the incident until he is feeling better. Besides, I don't want to get on his bad side; I'm amazed he didn't say anything about it being my fault he nearly drowned. But why? And how come he isn't mad at me either?
"...Rei..."
"Huh?" Rei's thoughts were interrupted as he thought he heard a small voice call his name but he couldn't be sure, not with the water running. Turning away from the sink with the glass in hand, he walked back to the bathroom door. Knocking lightly, he whispered. "Kai? Did you call for me?" His only answer was more sounds of someone clearly loosing their stomach contents. Not really sure of himself, he reached out to find the door handle unlocked and let himself in after a minute.
"Kai? Are you all right?" Rei asked, noting that Kai was no longer leaning over the toilet as he had expected him to be, but rather leaning against the wall next to it, his legs sprawled out infront of him and one arm resting on the toilet seat. His eyes were half open and seemed unfocused at the moment. "Kai, are you-"
Not even a second later, Kai threw himself back over the porcelain fixture, emptying out even more of his already drained stomach. It seemed more like dry heaves than anything else to Rei, but he couldn't be sure. Instead, he set the glass on the counter before kneeling down next to Kai. Not knowing what else to do, he reached out and pulled the older boys bangs away from his face so they wouldn't get in the way, and held them back as his body shook.
They stayed like that for a few minutes, Kai throwing up nothing and everything at the same time; mostly stomach acid which burned his throat as he hacked it up, and Rei holding his hair out of the way, saying nothing but rubbing his back all the while.
...Shit...I don't think I have anything left to throw up, not even acid...my throat is so dry and it stings...I hate being ill. Still, I think I'm done now...Slowly Kai pulled away from his new found friend that was so gracious as to get rid of his...contents when he reached up to flush. Again he leaned up against the wall, letting his head tilt back slightly.
Rei sighed and grabbed the glass of water, holding it out in front of him. "Try drinking some water. It'll flush out your system and make you feel better." Kai...I can't even remember being this sick beofre. If I had known, I wouldn't have let him coem down to the pool.
Kai cracked open an eye, studying the glass before smiling a little. "I think my system has been flushed out enough for a good year or two now." Nothing, not even water, sounds good right now Rei.
"Maybe, but you don't want to get dehydrated. Just humor me if not yourself." You have to drink it.
"I'm good-" Instantly Kai regretted saying that to Rei. He found his head jerked forward suddenly and an arm supported his back as the glass was shoved to his mouth and tilted so that the water splashed against his dry lips. ...the hell! Why is Rei being so...I give up. I'll humor you like you wanted...
Rei smiled as Kai took a tentative sip, then another. Gradually the water disappeared, and Rei started to let go, knowing that once he eased up enough, Kai would take hold of the cup himself. But that didn't happen. Kai did grab the glass, but he took hold Rei's hand, keeping it in place as he finished off the water.
"Thanks." Kai murmured. Even though I didn't want it.
"Sure." Unknown to Kai, a small blush had made it's way onto Rei's face. Now I really feel bad wanting to know more about the accident. It would be so rude to ask him now.
Both sat in silence for a few minutes before Kai decided that there was just no way anything was ever going to change. He wanted to talk to the teen, tell him how he felt and get to know him better. But it just wasn't likely. I can't do that. I just can't. Rejection is worse than not saying anything at all.
"Hey Kai...can I talk to you about...something?" Rei asked silently, not daring to look into his eyes. I have to do this, I just have to. There is no other way.
"I suppose. What about?" Kai replied quietly, not entirely sure where this was going, though he had an idea. Please don't ask, please don't ask.
Now or never. "Um, do you remember my accident?" He paused, looking up just enough to see Kai nod his head slightly. "Well, you see, I know, just by the way you all act, that you are not telling me somehting. I want to know what happened and what made you so afraid. You aren't the same person anymore."
"Nothing happened besides you getting hit by a car and that was bad enough." Kai cut in quickly. He could tell his voice was slightly panicky, but none the less, he had to get them off this subject. Nope, not saying a word.
"No, I don't think so. I'm sure that something happend and you all are not telling me. What happened to make you so arfaid?"
There it was. Kai froze, not daring to even breathe as he waited for what was sure to come. Oh...My...GOD! I'm screwed! Why me? Why not Kenny or Tyson...anyone but me!
"I can feel it. You were scared or something. Maybe you saw something. Whatever it was, that is what has you so on edge now. And I still don't know what. Just tell me. That is all I ask of you. No one else will be honest with me. I know you will be, Kai." Rei stopped, wondering how to phrase the next part.
"I don't see-" Stop, please. Don't make me do this.
"Just...listen. I know you don't want to say, and I can tell it bothers you. You never were the most caring person Kai, and then you suddenly pull a one eighty and start caring and trying to please other people, which makes no sense. I don't want any lies or half truths. Just tell me the truth; all of it. Will you at least do that for me, Kai?"
There was a long silence as Rei waited for Kai to either start talking or at least say he wouldn't. Tell me...please. He was about to press the matter when Kai spoke up abruptly.
"If you really must know..." Judging by the sound of his voice, Kai was finally caving in. I don't want to, but I can't do this to you. It's not fair.
Sitting down fully now next to Kai, he turned to look him in the eyes, finding that contact was not to hard to establish. "What ever you can say, I want to hear." Finally, I am getting some answers.
"It wasn't like that." Kai stated, watching as a look of sheer confusion crossed the other boy's features. "You see, at one point, we thought you were dead and there was nothing we could do. We were all afraid. The reality that we had lost you was nearly too much to bare. So when you came back, we never mentioned it again." Kai fell silent again, needing a break so that he would not break down. No more, please. I can't talk about this. Not just yet...
"Then...the reason you all are acting so...strange around me...was becsue I was dead?"
"Yeah."
"But why? Why couldn't you all just tell me? Kai, why! Tell me!" Rei was angry now, his temper flaring. How the fuck could you all not tell me I had died! That is not something you keep to yourself! HOW COULD YOU ALL!
Rei jumped up, staring down at Kai while resisting the urge to beat him sensless. He could feel as his nails dug into his palm from the fist he was making. "Was it so hard to tell the truth? Did you all think I couldn't handle it! I couldn't handle the fact that I died! Well? SAY IT! NOWS YOUR CHANCE! Out with i-"
"Because none of us wanted to admit it!" Kai burst in, nearly breaking down in tears as he looked up to the other teen. "It wasn't you. We couldn't admit it to ourselves that you were gone! So we pretended it never happened; it was so much easier that way. Even now it's almost too much to bare." THERE. I hope you are happy now.
Falling to his knees in front of the other, Rei leaned forward, trying to overcome his anger and confusion. It was hard to just forgive them, but it clearly hurt them all to talk about it. I didn't know...I had no idea...how could I ever...
"You were so cold." Kai mumbled, his voice broken as a tear slid down his cheek. "What if, when we had tried to bring you back, it didn't work? That was our fear." You have no idea how scared we all were. I was...empty inside.
"Your lips...they were so cold against mine. I can still remember it even now, that same cold and hollow feeling. Every time I touched them again and nothing happened, it got harder and harder each time. I nearly broke down in front of everyone; I wasn't doing anything for you..." Once again, the boy ceased to speak, knowing that he had started something he could never change. I've finally let mye motions out and confronted what I feared most, but I still don't feel right...something is missing...
Rei didn't mean to, but his hand instinctively went to his mouth, touching gently as he let the words sink in. Still...Kai, why? None of you had to. You could have just...I owe you all my life. And...you...tingly. A strange tingely feeling...
"So, the reason you are all acting strange, is becasue of that? You were too arfaid to remember what had happened so you tried to forget about it." Rei murmured.
"That's what I've been saying, yes. I don't know about the others, but I don't want to remember it. It was the worst time in my life, worse than my Grandfather or Boris or anything." Kai rocked back and forth nervously on the floor, hugging his knees lightly.
Rei watched him. He didn't know that Kai could actually break down like this. He had always been hard and shut off, evne in the worst case scenarious. "But, you don't need to worry. I'm hear now, I'm not dead. See?" He reached out, placing a soft hand over Kai's. "Flesh and blood. I'm here to stay and you guys don't ever have to worry about me again."
"I know, but something like that is not something you let go easily." No matter what, it haunts your dreams andis forever a part of your past. It can't be forgotten. "Even if you want to, you just don't. It stays with you and is a constant reminder that life can be taken away witout a moments notice."
"...I've never know that feeling. I can only try to relate to how you all feel, but I suppose that it won't be enough. If I could, I would take everything back, not for me, but for all of you; so you wouldn't have to fell all this...pain." I really would Kai. Especially for you.
Looking up, the older boy unraveled himself from his little ball and stared into the dark amber eyes that watered slightly. "I know Rei, we all know. But you know that can't happen. We jsut need to deal with it in our own ways. So for now, don't worry. Just make sure you stay safe and don't go playing hero any more." Although it sounded like a joke, Kai was completley serious. Now you understand.
"Kai." Rei's voice was soft and somewhat shy. "There's still one thing I want to know and I hope you will answer me honestly." Rei stopped, pulling his hand away and fiddeling with the hem of his shirt. This better be the right theing to do. I hope so. "Is there...do you...care, about me that is?"
Do I care? Of course I do! I love you more than possible! I would do anything to see that you are okay. You're the light in my life that keeps me going even through the worst of times and the comfort that follows when I just need it. If something is wrong, you're there to fix it and keep us all together. No matter how bitter or cruel I am, you never give up. But...to tell you...Can I? Is everything I've worked for worth losing if you reject me or don't...but how will I ever know unless...I...
"Rei..."
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