Author: moonfairyhime
Rating: T, minor swearing
Disclaimer: I don't own the lovely Winchester boys.
Summary: Sam really just wants to get a full night sleep.
Feedback: I'd really appreciate it
Author's Notes: Bits of this fic were taken from my real life: random dreams I've had and other bits are from things I've experienced, either working or on family vacations. The title means "When Sam sleeps" or, in this case, tries to sleep. Thank you to gravigirl123 for beta-ing. This fic kind of follows Too Many Miles, but it can be read as a stand-alone.
They had just finished another successful exorcism (meaning Sam had only managed to get choked once and didn't get knocked out at all) and Dean was driving while Sam tried to get some actual sleep. A flash of white caught Dean's attention and he stopped the car. "Dude, Sam, wake up."
The glare Sam gave Dean would have done any father with a teenage daughter proud. "Dean, I was sleeping."
"Is that a turkey?"
Sam sat up and looked at were Dean was pointing. "Yes, Dean, that is a turkey. So what?"
"Sammy, you may not have noticed it, but it's the kind you buy in the store and it's half-cooked."
Sam shrugged, still not getting the point. "So? We're near a lake. It probably fell out of someone's boat and the waves carried it here."
Dean stared at Sam as he eased the car back on the road. "Do you have experience with half-cooked turkeys?"
"I went to college, Dean. Some of the stuff you see there is a bit bizarre. For spring break one year, a bunch of us got together and rented a houseboat. Things fall overboard." Sam stretched and Dean winced as he heard Sam's back crack. "Can I go back to sleep now?"
"Whatever, college boy." Dean looked into the rear-view mirror and sighed. "I wonder if it was safe to eat."
Sam was so close to falling back asleep. Then his phone rang. He gave the phone a glare that was normally reserved for when Dean said something particularly stupid and answered. "Hello?"
Dean, stopped at a red light, watched as Sam's face went from annoyed to downright pissed off. "Look. I don't know how you got this number. No, I don't know where the hell the nearest Wal-Mart is and I don't know what the telephone number is for said Wal-Mart. Go to hell, lady." Saw shut his cell phone with an audible snap. He threw the cell phone in the backseat, not caring if it got lost back there. Dean gave Sam a look and Sam frowned at Dean. "What?"
Dean shook his head. "Nothing, Sam."
Sam nodded and curled into the door. Dean winced as he watched his brother curl up like a cat. He didn't want to think how sore Sam was going to be once he woke up. Sam himself was enjoying a REM cycle with no nightmares or visions. He just had the sinking feeling that this REM cycle wasn't going to last much longer.
There were days Sam hated to be right.
"Sam, wake up and roll up your window. That deer looks ready to kiss you."
Sam groaned as he felt REM sweetly wave goodbye. "Dean, I want to sleep. Please, just let me sleep."
"Sammy, I'm all for letting you get some sleep, but you should roll up the window before that deer says hello."
Slowly opening his eyes, Sam nearly freaked out when he saw a deer four feet from his face. Nearly is the key word. He refused to allow a deer to freak him out after Dean warned him twice. He quickly rolled up his window and tried not to notice the disappointed look on the deer's face. The deer quietly trotted away.
"Dude, that deer was so smitten with you." Dean had a smirk on his face.
"Dean, you could have rolled up the window for me, you know."
"Not really. The deer would have kissed me and I refuse to allow this handsome face to get covered in deer slobber."
Sam glared at his brother. "I should have fed you to the deer."
Dean appeared shocked. "Sammy, you would deprive millions of women the mere pleasure of just seeing me?"
Sam blinked. "I think, in the long run, they'd thank me. It seems once girls get past your easy-going manner, they generally want to club you over the head with their shoes or purse."
Dean straightened up. "Sam, I have never had one girl do that me."
"Do you remember Sue in Iowa?"
Dean frowned. "Who?"
"The girl who chased you out of the diner with a shoe in one hand and her purse in the other. I had to convince her not to file harassment charges on you"
"You do the whole puppy-dog look well, though. Besides, she was the only one."
"How about Jenna in California or Abby in Texas or..."
"Do you document all of my failures with women?"
"Yes. It makes my life more bearable whenever you try to pull shit like waking me up when I'm actually sleeping."
"In all fairness, you have to admit it'd be hard to wake you up if you were already awake."
"Dean. Shut up. You're being more stupid than usual today."
"Sammy, go back to sleep."
Sam mock-saluted Dean before yawning and closing his eyes. If nothing else, not sleeping for weeks made it really easy to fall asleep at the drop of a hat. Sam's cell phone began to ring again and both brothers ignored it. When it began to ring again five minutes later, Dean considered answering it but Sam grabbed the phone first.
"Grand Central Station. This is Sam, to whom may I direct your call? ...Justin? Hey, how's it going? You and Chloe still going out? She broke up with you. You were cheating on her with Sere, Brooke, and Paula? ...You worry me. What's up, Justin? You switched majors again." Dean noticed Sam roll his eyes and Dean smirked. Sam smiled at his brother and sighed. "What are you majoring in now, Justin? Pre-law? Oh. No, I think you'll make a good lawyer! Really. No Justin, I'm not lying or being fastidious or trying to 'tear flesh'." Dean blinked at his brother and Sam looked at Dean and covered the phone with his hand. "Sarcastic, Dean, sarcastic." Sam returned his attention to the phone while Dean mocked how Sam answered him. "Okay, you need my help. Congratulations on getting the internship. Justin, just remember the clientele you're going to be working with don't have a half-million dollar trust fund. Just remember to read all subsections and fine print, no matter how fine. Remember that commas are your friend and using a semicolon instead of a comma can change the meaning of an entire document. Remember that a verbal agreement is just as binding a written agreement. Listen to the people who talk to you; don't just smile and nod. That'll piss them off. Don't use words like quixotic when odd will work. And above all else... no, I wasn't about to say 'to thine ownself be true', please don't call the people 'plebs' or 'Epsilon Semi-Morons'. They really won't like that. Of course I miss you guys. Tell Laura and James and Paula and Mitch and Haley and Erika and the others that I miss them too. You'll do fine at the firm. Good luck, Justin." Sam ended the call and then turned off his phone. "He's doomed."
"'Epsilon Semi-Moron'?" Dean asked as he watched Sam throw the cell phone in the backseat.
"Brave New World." Sam said as he closed his eyes. "The society is based off the Greek alphabet. The smartest people are called Alphas and the dumbest are called Epsilon Semi-Morons. People of varying intelligence fall in between those castes."
Dean nodded. "So, college boy, what caste do I fit in?"
"Dean, don't make yourself an easy target." Sam said, trying to force his body to go back to sleep.
An hour later, Dean was quite pleased to note that Sam had not even moved from the position he fell asleep in. Twenty minutes later though, Sam began to twitch and Dean could only hope that it wasn't another vision.
"No, Dean, I don't want to visit your pink polar bears."
Dean's left eyebrow shot up.
"I don't care that you named them Pinky, Fuchsia, and Rose."
Dean's right eyebrow joined the left one.
"...Why did you just eat the sibling? I know he was made of milk chocolate but why eat him?"
Dean's eyebrows made a beeline for his hairline.
"And speaking of which, polar bears don't live in swamps. They live in igloos."
Dean decided that whatever Sam ate last, Sam was never allowed to eat again. Sam sighed in his sleep before turning over and falling back asleep. Twenty minutes later, Sam shot up, breathing hard.
"You okay, Sammy?"
Sam shook his head. "I think so."
Dean rolled his eyes when Sam didn't continue. "Sammy, what happened to the eight-year-old boy who used to tell me everything and never shut up?"
"You ran him over with the Impala when you were thirteen."
"Sam, I've never known anyone to hold a grudge better than you. How many times do I have to say it was an accident?"
"Dean, quit lying to yourself. You were in the middle of an open field and I was a good 1,000 feet to the left of the car. Not in front of the car, to the left of the car. The only way you could have hit me is if you were aiming for me."
"Sammy, let it go. I only broke your arm."
"After you chased me a good five hundred feet."
Dean shrugged. "Look at it this way, you're a pretty fast runner. Probably stemmed from that accident."
Sam glowered at Dean. "Not the point. You're not supposed to run over little brothers with your car."
"Not even when they were being particularly annoying that day?"
"I knew you did it on purpose!"
Dean pulled off the road. "I've got something that may help you sleep. At least it used to help you sleep." He began to rummage around in the backseat and Sam watched him curiously. Dean grinned as he found what he was looking for. He tossed it to Sam.
"You have Mr. Bunny! Dad said he threw him out years ago." Sam eyes were shining as he looked at the beat-up white bunny. He looked exactly how Sam remembered him: one ear half-chewed off, missing an eye, and a few assorted stains that Sam still didn't know where they came from. Staring at the bunny now, Sam couldn't help but relate him to the rabbits in that one Monty Python movie. Oh well, he still gave Sam a feeling that was undeniably safe. Funny how a beloved stuffed animal can make the big, bad scary world go away for a little bit.
"After Dad threw him in the trash, I went out and rescued him."
"Thank you, Dean."
Dean smirked at Sam. "No chick-flick moments, Sammy."
Sam ignored his brother as he hugged Mr. Bunny to his chest and let his eyes close. Unlike the last few times Sam tried to sleep, his breathing was deep and even. It was the sleep of the dead.
Dean smiled at his little brother. "You're welcome, Sammy."