Antifreeze: The solution to the past
Disclaimer: WE do not own any of the character of DBZ or any other character in this story.
The form of a young boy walked over to an illuminated chair and seated himself.
He cleared his throat and softly spoke into the microphone, "Long, long, lo-o-o-o-o-o-ong ago…"
"You mean this morning, Trunks?"
"Yeah, now, shut up, Goten! Anyway a long, long lo-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-ong time ago in a land far, far, fa-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-r away…"
"You mean at your house?"
"Yes, Goten, just shut up!"
"But!"
"Shut up! Well, I can see we aren't going to be able to do it this way! glares at Goten Just watch the video already!"
A television came down from the ceiling and showed a video of Goten and Trunks at breakfast.
"Hey, Trunks when did you get this big TV?"
"Shut up, Goten we're trying to show a movie here!"
Goten and Trunks sat at the kitchen table devouring their fifth box of 'Froot Loops'. Bulma stepped into the kitchen with both hands filled with bags of groceries.
"Trunks, do Mom a favor and carry in some groceries," She requested.
"M-ky, Muhm," Trunks answered with a mouth full of cereal. He grabbed Goten and headed out the door.
They opened the door of Bulma's car only to be greeted by an avalanche of groceries.
Somewhere in the deep confines of Capsule Corps…
"You mean in the kitchen?" Goten happily asked.
"Goten, I ought to strangle you." Trunks threatened, "Now, can we go back to the video?'
"Yep."
Anyway, somewhere in the deep confines of Capsule Corps, A.K.A the kitchen, Bulma twitched before she shouted, "Don't you break those eggs! And don't squish the bread!"
"MO-TEN! MIT MOFF MOF MY M-HEAD!" Trunks mumbled.
"What's that Trunks? Where ya at?"
"Mime mouwn mere! Mit moff my m-head!"
"Mimes down beer? Chickens lay eggs?"
"Mime…Maw mheck…"Trunks said just before pushing Goten off of his head, "How many times do I have to repeat myself?"
"Huh? How'd ya get down there?"
"Why I ought to…" Trunks started.
"Hey! Trunks, what's with this stuff? It's all blue! I like blue!"
"You…but you're wearing…orange!"
"I'm wearing blue, too!"
"But it's under the…just never mind! Hey, you're right that is a cool color of blue!"
"I wonder what it is?"
Trunks grabbed the cool blue stuff, raised the bottle and read, "Antifreeze."
Goten grabbed the bottle back and said, "Idiot, that says anti-Frieza!"
"What! Let me look at that!" Trunks said as the two boys started fighting over the bottle.
"Boys! Have you got the groceries out of the car yet!" Bulma screamed from inside, which made the two boys stop their bickering and fighting.
"Let's just hide this, so that we can look at it later, and take the groceries inside," Trunks suggested, "But where do we hide it?"
"Oh! I know," Goten exclaimed as he grabbed the bottle and stuffed it in his shirt, "She'll never know."
"Yeah and my Dad won't know if we steal all the food off of his plate," Trunks said slapping Goten on the back of the head, "Go hide this under that bush."
"Ow…okay." Goten pouted.
By the time that the boys finished taking in the groceries they had completely forgot about the "Anti-Frieza". They were sprawled on the couch when it once again entered their thoughts.
"Hey, Trunks, didn't we leave something outside?"
"Not that I remember."
"Oh. Oka—hey, what about that anti-Frieza stuff."
"We'll get it later. Getting up requires energy."
"Oh. Hey, Trunks!"
"What, Goten, what!" Trunks screamed.
"Didn't our dads fight somebody named Frieza?"
"So."
"Maybe that is the stuff that gets rid of him."
"What?"
"Well, I mean I haven't seen any Friezas around lately."
"That's stupid."
"Well, have you seen any Friezas around lately?"
"Well, no…"
"Then how do you know that it is stupid?"
"Well, there's one way to find out!"
"How? Ask Vegeta?"
"No. We can't ask my dad. He wouldn't know."
"Well. We most definitely can't ask my dad. He killed him by force and that was the only way he could figure to kill him."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah, my dad told me a story about it one time. Ya know it made my mom made. I don't know why though," Goten mused, "It was the greatest story I ever heard. The blood, the spit and the EYEBALLS!"
"What eyeballs?"
"Nevermind. Well, who do we ask?"
"Who says we have to ask anyone?"
"What are you thinking? I don't like that evil look in your eye! What are you plotting?"
"Just a little fieldtrip."
"Where?"
"To the past"
"Cool!"
A little while later Trunks and Goten walked into the lab and spoke to Bulma.
"Hey, Mom!"
"What, son?" Bulma said not looking up from her work.
"Dad's putting the toaster in the microwave, again!"
"Alright, honey," Bulma said as Trunks waited for the desired reaction. "He's what? Not again! One of these days he is going to kill himself. That is if I don't kill him first!"
Trunks and Goten patiently waited for Bulma to leave before getting to the act of hijacking the time machine.
Several minutes and several explosions later Goten said, "Hey, Trunks, What's this do?"
"Don't touch one more thing! Especially that!"
"Oops!"
"Oops? Why are you saying…Aw heck," Trunks said jumping into the time machine with the antifreeze, "Where are you taking us?"
"I don't know."
"Do you not comprehend the meaning of don't touch…hey! What's this do?" Trunks said as he adjusted a dial to freeze, "I wonder if this will work it says Frieza on it."
"Cool. Hey wait! I think you just froze time!"
"Heh. Cool. Now don't touch anything."
"But you just touched something. I wanna touch something, too."
"No, just let me read the manual."
"Okay," Goten sighed.
After a few seconds of reading Trunks got mad and chucked the manual, "This stuff don't make any sense! Let's do what we're been doing!"
"Yeah! Just wing it!" Goten exclaimed as they both started turning and pushing as many buttons as they possibly could.
The time machine began to shake and make all kinds of horrible noises.
"Ya know, maybe I shouldn't have pushed that big red one," Goten said with his eyes the sized of saucers.
"Nah, Ya think!"
"Wait! Why did it just stop!"
"Where did all these trees come from? We must have gone back in time! Does that guy look familiar to you?" Trunks said looking at the two long white haired men fighting with really huge swords.
"Yeah, he looks like that guy Inu Yasha…Trunks get back in the time machine!"
"Gonna have to agree with you on that one!" Trunks said as they climbed back in and began pushing buttons.
The machine roared to life and began making the horrid sounds once again.
"Dude, where are we now?" Goten asked upon exiting the time machine.
"Not where we're supposed to be."
"Isn't that you're house? How'd we end up back here."
"Heck if I know. Is that you?"
"Gotta be. He's wearing my name!"
"Dude, you've got some long hair…and the blonde chicks playing with it! For shame, fraternizing with the enemy. That's disgusting!"
"Not nearly as disgusting as what you're doing behind that bush with the brunette!"
"Oh my gosh…get back on the time machine right now!" Trunks screamed as he caught sight of the pair kissing Eskimo style.
This time Trunks didn't hit the buttons with as much gusto. He muttered 'brunette' a couple of times then went back to pushing buttons.
"Man, this place is a mess!" Trunks exclaimed.
"Dude! There are books everywhere…with naked women in them…My eyes! They burn!" Goten added.
"Heh! Looks like the stuff my dad has in his bathroom," Trunks said causing Goten to glare at him, "Not that I would know."
"What is so amusing about…"
"Chi!" said a beautiful girl with long, long, white hair and amber colored eyes.
"Sweet Thestis, mother of Achilles!" Trunks exclaimed.
"Heh, heh. You're pretty," Goten said smiling up at Chi from Chobits.
"Chi!" Chi said cocking her head to the side.
"Goten," said pointing to himself.
"Chi!"
"Goten!"
"Goten! Goten! Goten! Goten!" Chi said pointing at random objects in the room.
"No. Goten," he once again said pointing to himself.
"Goten," she said pointing to Goten and then looking at Trunks.
"Trunks," Goten said pointing to Trunks.
"Trunks?" she said raising an eyebrow and then scavenging around the room for something. "Trunks!" she said holding up a pair of boxers.
"Let's go, Goten," Trunks said as he slapped himself on the forehead. After yet another symphony of clicks, snaps, crackles, pops, clings, and clangs the two ended up in the 1800's. A man in a black suit and top hat stood before a crowd that Trunks and Goten were wandering in.
"Four score and seven years ago…" the man spoke.
"Man! This guy's ugly!" Trunks whispered.
"Look at that hat! It's huge. Does he keep his dog in there or what!" Goten spoke in turn.
"You dare admonish the great Abe Lincoln!" a participant exclaimed.
"No," Goten answered, "we were talking about…that drunkard over there." Everyone was silenced as the speech continued.
"…our forefathers…" Lincoln spoke.
"Boooo!" Trunks hissed. Everyone turned to stare. "Bhoo! Cough, cough Sorry, dying of tuberculosis. Cough No biggie." The people turn back around to finish the speech.
"Trunks, let's get outta here," Goten coaxed.
"Uh…yeah…let's get outta here!"
They once again go into the time machine. They pushed the buttons faster and harder than the times before. The machine clicked and popped and whizzed and whirled in a mechanic orchestra until in once again stopped.
"Hey, this is…" Goten started.
"Great, Goten, can't you do anything right!"
"But, this is…"
"Can't you navigate us! We'll never get where we're supposed to be!'
"Namekians! Those are Namekians!"
"Nameki-whats?"
"Think Piccolo."
"Oh! We're…I knew I'd get us here." Trunks bragged.
"Yep! Right where we're supposed to…Hey! A minute ago it was my fault that we weren't where we were supposed to be and now YOU got us here!"
"Quick! Get the anti-Frieza!" Trunks shouted.
"Alright!…Where is that Frieza guy? How are we supposed to find him?"
"What does he look like again?" Trunks said looking in another direction.
"Purple, white, really short, horns, long tail."
"Well, in that case he's right over there!" Trunks said pointing to the diminutive shrimp also known as Frieza. "Dang! He's surrounded by henchmen!"
"Let's just be rid of them. They don't look that tough anyway!"
"Okay, but how?"
"Trunks, go down there and tell 'em there's a dragonball somewhere and point. Frieza won't go unless it's found."
"That's brilliant, Goten! Hey! Why do I hafta go down there!"
" 'Cause I look exactly like my dad." Trunks stuck his tongue out and flew in Frieza's direction.
"Hey!" Trunks called as he landed, "There's a couple of dragonballs that way."
"How would you know that, kid?" Dodoria asked.
"I heard those Namek…Nutmeg…Nam…those green dudes talking."
"Go check it out!" Frieza commanded. Trunks tried to meet Goten, but was halted.
"Where do you think you're going?"
"Over there," Trunks motioned to where he came.
"Oh no, you don't. You're staying right here incase my men don't come back."
"O…okay." Trunks sent a telepathic message to Goten telling him to bring the anti-Frieza.
"What do I do? He'll recognize my dad as me later and it might alter the future! I know! I'll go Super Saiyan. That should throw him off," Goten said to himself. He grabbed the "anti-Frieza" and went Super Saiyan.
"Who are you and how did you get here? You're not native to these lands and you're not with me, so…answers kid, answers," Frieza rambled. Trunks twitched a little while drool formed and the corner of his mouth. Goten finally arrived, but hardly landed when Trunks yanked his collar.
"Goten, he sounds like twitch a twitch girl," Trunks whispered.
"What do we do? Do you have any idea how to work this stuff?" Goten said holding up the 'anti-Frieza'.
"I don't know! Let's just splash him with it!"
"What the hell are you kids doing," Frieza said just before Trunks splashed him with the antifreeze.
"Trunks, it's not working!" Goten shouted.
"I can see that, Goten!"
"What do we do?"
"KEEP SPLASHING HIM!" Trunks bellowed.
"But, I'm all out!" Goten exclaimed causing Trunks to look at him.
"Out? Run!" Trunks said as they both flew off in the direction from whence they came.
"I don't…know…whether to go kill them…or go take a bath! This stuff stinks!" Frieza said as his henchmen approached.
"Lord Frieza, we found no…Man! Something wreaks!" Zarbon exclaimed while pinching his nose.
"Ha…Ha…Ha…and if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go take a bath," Frieza said unamused.
"Lord Frieza, what happened?" Zarbon asked.
"I don't…want to talk about it."
Meanwhile meters away Goku looked up into the sky. "I feel someone's energy," Goku said just as he noticed the two tiny figures, "Hey, that one looks like me when I was…Nah! And that other one looks like Bulma! And Veg-Veg-i-Vegi…Nah!"
"Goten! It didn't work! I told you it wouldn't work!"
"Why didn't it work! It should've worked! Aw, who cares, my dad will just beat him the old fashion way! By beating his brains out!"
"Yeah. Let's see if we can get home."
"Huh? Why don't we just use the homing button."
"Homing button?"
"Yeah! See it says 'To Go Home'. It's right next to the button that says 'To Go to the Frieza Saga'."
"Well, why in the heck didn't you point that out or push that button earlier!"
"You told me not to push it!"
"Someone ought to smack you! Just push the 'home' button already!"
"So that's our story. Right, Goten?…Goten?" Trunks asked while looking over to see Goten snoring. "Why I oughta-!"
"Trunks!" Bulma called.
"Yes, Mom?"
"Why is the time machine in the front yard?"
"I dunno! I've been…asleep! Yeah, why don't you ask Goten?" Hearing all the commotion, Goten rose.
"Goten?"
"I dunno what Trunks is talkin' 'bout! yawn I was sleeping, too! yawn" Goten answered.
"Then who did it?" Bulma demanded.
"Why don't you ask Dad! fake yawn" Trunks suggested.
"Damn it, Vegeta!" Bulma walked away cursing.
"But, Trunks, why would your dad take the time machine?" Goten asked.
"I dunno. Maybe he wanted Italian from ancient Italy."
"Works for me!"
"Goodnight everybody!" Both shouted as they gave a smile, a wink and a wave.