Disclaimer: uh. don't own 'em..
A/N: yes, I play online HP role playing, and so my character's boyfriend just died. I'm relating the feelings because they're similar, and I wish maybe we had more backstory on Cedric and Cho. Okay I rant and ramble while you just want to get to the story (hopefully) enjoy (:
Harry didn't deserve this. She didn't deserve him.
Everyone talked, she knew they did. She would walk past them in the hall, the girls she called friend, and they would nod and smile at her. The minute they think she was out of earshot, they do what they do best.
Hearing more than wants to she quickly walks to the nearest classroom and shuts the door behind her. Their words struck her like a bolt of lightning.
"How shameless could she be?"
"Roger Davies told me about her meltdown on poor Harry on Valentine's day. He deserves so much better than her."
"If only Cedric could see her now."
Cedric . . .
His name echoed in her brain a million times over. They bounced off the walls and the pain was excruciating, she couldn't remember the last time she had felt this bad.
The summer after he died, all she could do was wonder and cry. She'd sit alone in her room and talk to him, hoping somehow he'd be able to reach her.
"I didn't do anything wrong," she said quietly to herself as she rummaged around her four poster bed and through her trunk. "Why did he leave?" The train was leaving in four hours, and all her clothes and belongings lay scattered around the room. She was the only one in the room, all her roommates were packed and in the Great Hall, saying goodbye to all their friends.
He didn't leave anything behind.
She needed something, anything that would prove that he was once there and that he wasn't just a figment of her imagination. He didn't give her any presents; she didn't want any from him. However thinking back on it, she wished she had something to remember him by.
All she had were memories.
If she told anyone she had loved him, they'd laugh it off and tell her differently.
"You're only fifteen, too young to be in love."
But as they stood outside the entrance to her common room after the Yule ball, she knew there was something between them, and at that moment she couldn't understand why this handsome champion, would pick a little fifth year such as herself
"Goodnight," he whispered to her as they stopped in front of her common room. Her hand was still in his and her heart felt like an Olympic runner, racing a mile a minute.
"Night," she said in a soft voice, smiling cutely at him.
And he kissed her.
She had the thoughts any normal fifteen year old girl would have. She figured they could have a lasting relationship. She obviously didn't see pretty grandchildren and a house in the country with him, but she saw someone she could be with; someone who wouldn't judge her.
She didn't see him dying. Nobody in their right mind could imagine the death of someone they loved.
She never did find anything that belonged to him, so all she had were her memories . . .
. . . And Harry
It was a horrible thing to do, but Harry was her only link to Cedric.
He saw Cedric die; he brought his body back with him at the cost of his life.
She did have feelings for Harry, but she wasn't sure whether or not they were genuine or if they were feelings still connected to her love for Cedric.
She didn't mean to go psychotic on him. She thought he understood her. She was so upset with him for not wanting to discuss Cedric. She needed him to understand what she was going through.
And it didn't occur to her till later that she never bothered to think of what he was going through.
Harry deserved more than that. She liked him, but she didn't love him. She knew she'd eventually have to let go of Cedric, but letting go meant so many things she wasn't ready for.
Letting go meant accepting that he was dead.
However she did accept it; she wasn't stupid contrary to popular belief. When she saw his body lying there she accepted it at that moment.
But the fact that he was never coming back . . .
It just hit her now.