Author's Note: Yes, I'm back again after a little bit of quiet time. I had to take a break after someone telling me that maybe they would read my stories if I didn't have chaos with an ooc pairing, when I clearly did not have him paired with anyone. Long story short, I got a little pissed. So, now I'm presenting this to you to read. And there are no ooc pairings. Enjoy and let me know what you think.
Title: Troubled Angel
Character Pairings: Maybe chaos and Shion, but it won't come until later on in the story.
Plot: "With just two sentences, I sealed my fate with everyone else. How can one continue to live their life after something like that?" chaos' thoughts on the decision he made as well as some introspection on what I think will happen in Xenosaga Ep. 3.
Rating: PG.
With just two sentences, I sealed my fate with everyone else. How can one continue to live their life after something like that? It was my duty to protect them—my friends—the same people I've grown to love as family. I accepted that from the start. But what about me? What about my life? There are still some things that I haven't experienced. When I think about it in that way, I become bitter.
Bitterness wells up in my chest, setting it on fire. I feel like throwing anything to channel out my frustration. Instead, I navigate the Elsa dutifully to our next destination that will inevitably split our family up for a long time. I want to scream. I want to tear my hair out. Dare I react? No, that wouldn't be like chaos. It's not like I can freely admit that I had supernatural powers other what than the little pinch I used with the gnosis.
I couldn't admit that I couldn't age and I knew about Shion's parents or about Albedo. No, I will remain in my prison—my shell. Even now as I walk out into the spaceport of the Kukai Foundation, the wonderful artificial colony that bore the Kukai name. The warmth of the artificial sunlight did nothing to soothe my soul. It wasn't fair.
Even with my help, people were still going to die. Even my 'family' had limitations on life.
"Hey, chaos, are you ok? You seem sadder than usual."
Little Master's youthful voice cut through my thoughts like a knife.
"I'm fine, Jr.," I answered softly.
Liar. I could hear that little voice screaming 'liar' over and over again. I ignored it as best as I could.
"I understand if you are upset because we are splitting up for a while."
What gives you that idea? I forced my face to remain neutral.
"No, I mean I understand. We all need a break."
LIAR!
"Yeah, well, everything will be okay. You'll see."
I flinched and nearly dropped the bag I was carrying.
"Jr."
"What's wrong?"
"Have you ever felt as if you are throwing your life away?"
Little Master shook his head and gave me a confused look. I stared back at him, letting my emotions show through my eyes.
"Is that what you think—"
I turned away from him.
"No. It's what I know."
Walking away never felt so damning before…