A/N: I originally thought that this story was only going to be one shot, but my friend (whose account is FancyFantasyFairy) kept asking me to write a specific sequel chapter. Well, who am I to deny a friend a favor? Besides, I'm supposed to star in one of her fics (does happy dance). So, in conclusion:

Dedicated to FancyFantasyFairy. :grins:

Chasing Chickens

Lucius Malfoy looked up to the ceiling for the thirteenth time that night. For some reason, the chandelier kept shaking back and forth. A strange rattling noise seemed to be coming from his son's room. Lucius got up from his chair to go investigate the matter when his newest house elf, Tobey came colliding into this leg.

"You insolent little creature! What in the Dark Lord's name do you think you are doing?" Lucius asked angrily.

"I…" Tobey began. Instead, he began throwing his head into the nearest wall.

Lucius rolled his eyes and grabbed the small elf by the collar. "Never mind. What is going on in my son's room?" he inquired instead.

"Master has friends over," Tobey answered.

Lucius looked up to the chandelier one more time. Narcissa had she said that she was going to find a wench for Draco, but she had certainly worked quickly. No matter, it was probably for the best.

"If master does not mind, please release Tobey. Tobey must go catch Master Draco's chicken," Tobey requested.

Lucius looked back at the servant. "Chicken?"

Suddenly, a mad flurry of beak and feathers collided with Lucius' leg, causing him to fall. As Lucius landed on his face, he spotted the culprit bird running toward the dining room. "Catch that chicken!" he bellowed, spitting feathers from his mouth. Tobey quickly complied and ran over Lucius' back in the process.

Tobey ran as fast as his tiny legs would carry him. The lithe chicken managed to continue to outrun him, however. He nearly managed to snatch its tail feathers when a door slammed in his face, bending his nose. He sprawled back on the floor, dizzy and in a good deal of pain. As he tried to reshape his nose bridge, Lucius came storming down the hallway.

"Where did that chicken go?" he demanded.

Tobey pointed at the door. "Tobey followed Master Draco's chicken to this room."

Lucius looked from the house elf to the door. "That's… that's my bedroom!" He tried to open the door, but it had been locked from the inside.

"I am Legolas, the prettiest elf of all!"

"I am Will Turner, the prettiest, whiniest pirate of them all!"

"Bok, bok, bok, bok!"

"You're very good at this game, Mr. Chicken!"

Lucius stared at the door as he listened to the conversation from within. He blinked once. And then again. "Alohamora," he commanded. The door flew open, and Lucius and Tobey rushed inside.

There, Narcissa and the chicken were sitting on the bed, playing with plastic figurines.

Narcissa stared at the intruders. "Ah… I can explain…"

"Narcissa, what are you … Are those my Orlando Bloom action figures?" Lucius asked.

"No, they're MY action figures. You have the Johnny Depp ones that you won't share with me," Narcissa replied angrily.

"I would share if you did!" Lucius snapped.

"Master, the chicken is getting away!" Tobey interrupted. He began chasing the quarry of feathers.

Lucius followed. "Come back here, impudent fowl!"

"We're not finished our game, Mr. Chicken!" Narcissa shrieked, following in pursuit.

The three chased the chicken all throughout the house, never managing to reach the annoying little bird. They pushed it all the way back to the main room, and Lucius cornered it.

"Now I've got you right where I want you, you tasty morsel," he laughed.

Suddenly, a great moan erupted from the upstairs room, the chandelier shook again, and a rather large piece of plaster landed directly on top of Lucius' head. He fell, and Narcissa tripped over him.

"Aren't we magical folk?" Narcissa asked as his lay on him.

"Yes."

"Then why haven't we used our wands yet?"

Lucius blinked and whipped out his wand. "Stupefy!" he cried. The spell missed the chicken by an inch. Narcissa and Lucius stood, continuing to follow the chicken through the house.

Lucius aimed his wand and the chicken and kept crying different disarming, freezing, and offensive spells, but missed every time. Finally, he took good aim and screamed, "STUPEFY!" one more time. The spell directly hit the chicken in the wing, and it fell to the ground.

Tobey, Lucius and Narcissa closed in on the fallen chicken. Without warning, the little bird stood and glared at them with red eyes. It threw back its head, and screeched a great, "CUCKKOOOOO, CU-CKKOOOOOOOOOOO!" while it flapped its wings wildly.

"What's going on…?" Narcissa inquired.

The room darkened as dozens of angry white birds shattered the windows of the house and flew into the room. They enclosed around the trio with wildly flapping wings and beady red eyes.

"…RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!"

---

"Is your dad going to mind that you're snogging a mudblood and the enemy of the Dark Lord?" Harry inquired.

Draco stopped kissing Hermione long enough to ponder the answer. "Probably," he replied decisively.

Suddenly, the door burst open, and a cloud of feathers floated into the room. Lucius, who was covered in bird excrement, feathers, and blood, spit a few feathers from his mouth. "Hermione, Harry, good evening," he greeted nonchalantly. "Draco, next time, please ask us before you get Tobey to make chicken for breakfast," he requested. "Good night." The door shut.

Hermione turned to Draco. "What was that all about?"

"Something about breakfast, I suppose," Draco answered, unsure of himself.

Harry put his arms around Draco. "Whatever. I've got something else I want to eat."

BA-GOCK!

(Fin)

A/N: If you own Legend of Zelda, Ocarina of Time, you really ought to try this. Walk up to a Cuckoo and attack it a few times with your sword (or Deku Nut, Deku Stick, Boomerang, etc.) It's a real laugh.