Story Title: My Life from a Bird's Eye View

Chapter Number: 3

Date Written: 6/24/05

Date Uploaded: 6/25/05

Author: incompetent.twitch

Ah, the train. I think this compartment smells a bit like urine, but whatever. You can't have everything in life. I decided to see what Cecilia had to say on this unfortunate turn of events, because I have quite a sensitive nose and do not wish to be smelling that horrible, terrible, awful scent the entire journey to lala land-or, Hogwarts, as it is more commonly known.

"Cecilia, I have a question for you." I began. "I'm quite afraid that it is a matter of life or death." She raised her eyebrows, apparently not quite sure if I were joking or not. I continued on in a grim kind of voice. "I'm afraid that this compartment smells quite a bit like urine."

Cecilia cracked up. As soon as I heard her laugh, I began to laugh also. You know, I have always hated my laugh. It's all high and light and tinkly, and makes me sound like I'm trying to flirt with the nearest object, inanimate or not. In fact, I quite believe that I should switch laughs with Cecilia. Her laugh was loud and guffawing. That's why I was laughing, because inhaling the scent of urine is most certainly not funny. Not at all.

As soon as she had caught her breath, Cecilia considered the crisis at hand. "Well," she began, in a voice that was not serious enough for this life-or-death conversation, "We could always use our magic to get rid of the scent." She looked at me pointedly, apparently trying to convey in some strange telepathic way (hey, that rhymed!) that I could probably have figured that out by myself. Ah, but I am too smart for her. I had an excuse for why I could not just wave my stick (wand, perverts, wand!) and get rid off that life damaging smell.

"Ah, but you see my dear, that is quite impossible for me to do." She simply looked at me, waiting for me to explain my obvious brilliance. "Two years ago, your wonderful" (spoken sarcastically, of course), "Cousin and his cronies managed to hex the train into 2 completely separate parts, thus leaving the majority of the students stranded in the middle of nowhere. Therefore, magic on the train has been banned until the Marauders leave our wonderful completely un-sexist school behind."

Her eyes laughed. "Un-sexist?" she questioned. I wasn't quite sure if she meant that she wanted to know the meaning of my word or if she was questioning my use of it. I decided to explain the latter.

"I was being sarcastic." This was unnecessary for me to explain, but me, being the all kind and powerful person that I am, decided to elaborate. "Our school is quite sexist. If I were to do something like that, I would have been suspended for a week."

"But, you didn't do that, and therefore weren't punished for the crime that you didn't commit, and therefore have no proof that our school is sexist." she explained to me. This would all have been very brilliant, if she hadn't have known the rest of the story. Which she didn't. But, shhh.

"Au contraire, senorita." I said. Oh, beat that. I'm trilingual. "You see, in third year, just weeks before your cousin started stalking me, I did commit that crime. I tripped over my cat, subsequently killing it, and then I cried for a week, but that's off topic, and then my wand did a strange backfiring thing. It split off the last car of the train. I was suspended for a week. I blame my horrific reflexes. " I blinked owlishly at her, and she blinked back. Then a thought struck my head. It hurt, actually.

"Hey, whatever happened to the urine crisis?" I asked.

"Well, since you didn't like my last idea, I'm kind of afraid to tell you my other one." she said.

"I promise not to have a temper tantrum." I told her in a sincere voice, hoping that I would have the self control if I did indeed hate the idea.

"I suggest we get out of this compartment and go sit with James." she said, all in a suspiciously fast voice. I just needed to double check before I started to issue the self control on myself.

"You mean James your cousin, am I correct?" I questioned, eye twitching a bit.

She bit her lip nervously. "Yes," she began, "And I promise to make them all behave."

I considered my options. I could have my sense of smell depleted, or have the worst migraine known to wizarding kind at the end of the train ride. I sighed, knowing my choice. "Only if I get to sit next to Remus." I compromised with her.

"Ooh, does Killer Liller have a crush?" she teased.

I mock gasped in indignation. "What did you call me!"

"Apparently, that's what Sirius calls you every time that you reject James." she explained to me.

"So there. That's why I'm sitting next to Remus."

She sighed. "Fine."

I crept along slowly. You never know what could end up attacking you. This was dangerous ground. Wait! What was that? Was it footsteps? What if they try to make me stop talking? I'm not even talking! Calm down, Lily, don't hyperventilate.

"Lily?" came Cecilia's voice. "What the blazes are you doing?"

I jumped and spun, quite a Bond move, if I do say so myself. "We're on enemy grounds, Cece. You never know what might attack."

"You're right." she told me. Well, of course I am. Suddenly, her eyes widened. "Ohmigosh!" she exclaimed. "Giant killer scarab beetles right behind you!"

"Ah! They've come to get me!" I shrieked. Then I met Cece's eyes, and we were both cracking up in our oxymoronic laughs.

"Erm…" came a masculine voice from behind me. I jumped and spun once again. I am so smooth. I'm quite sure that Cecilia will agree. I looked in from of me, and was met by a person's torso dressed in a plain whit t-shirt. I looked up. And up. And met the hazel eyes of Potter.

"Eeep!" I managed out. He was tall! I straightened myself out. "Potter, I appreciate your war techniques of being taller than me" here Cecilia snorted (again) and Potter's eyebrow's creased even more in confusion "but it shan't work again. You may have won this time, but I'll get you next time!"

I then cackled maniacally, and burst into the wrong compartment. I grinned sheepishly at the inhabitants, a bunch of Ravenclaw 5th years, and slowly backed out. And right into Potter.

"Lily, as much as I'm enjoying the view, do you think that you could stop backing into me?" he asked. That arsehole! I glared and felt my demeanor turn icy.

"Potter," I spat, my voice turning the air around me into frost, "I don't know why you haven't grown up yet, but perhaps you should think about it. Although, I'm not even sure that you are capable of that. Though your grades show that you are intelligent, all of your actions suggest otherwise. Act your age, even if it is cursed."

"You sound like McGonagall." he pointed out.

I mustered up all my anger, willpower, and strength, and smacked him hard across the face. Then, I turned and entered the Marauder's domain, leaving the two cousins staring at my fiery red hair.

author's note:

Hello, faithful readers! I have gotten such nice reviews from you guys. I love you all! I've been obsessed with Lily/James fanfiction for almost 7months now, and I decided that it was high time that I wrote some of my own. I will continue updating as soon as possible, and I hope that you will continue to enjoy it. However, next week I shall be in Costa Rica for 10 days, and will not be able to update then. Hopefully I'll have at least chapter 5 or 6 up by then. Thanks again, and enjoy!

-twitch