Story Title: My Life from a Bird's Eye View

Chapter Number: 4

Date Written: 6/30/05

Date Uploaded: 7/11/05

Author: incompetent.twitch

Disclaimer: 'Tis not mine. Nada. Except for Cece. I do own her.

Last time on MLFABEV:

"Mankind!" said Potter.

"Almost." replied Sirius. "Actually…"

I gasped. "MANHUNT!"

"Yay!" Sirius shrieked. Bella laughed at our faces (not in our faces, at our faces). Cece looked kind of scared. The rest were just clueless.

"Yeah, let's play!" I exclaimed. I LOVED manhunt with all of my two-sizes-too-small heart.

"Erm…" began Remus. He obviously believed that it wasn't a very good idea. Pfft. My ideas are always good. "I'm not sure-"

"How do you play?" Potter interrupted loudly.

Sirius and I grinned at each other. "Who shall explain this masterpiece?" I asked of him.

"Me! Ooh, pick me, PLEASE! Ohmigosh, I NEED to explain!"

"Alright, jeez, keep your knickers on." I told him.

"Oh, good. Are you sure that you don't want my knickers?" he teased me. I pulled a disgusted face and everyone (except for Sirius) laughed. "Well, anyways," he started, glaring at me, "Manhunt is kinda-sorta-maybe-a little like hide-and-seek and tag mixed together."

"Yeah, like pepsi and sprite." I added.

"I love that combo!" Cece exclaimed.

"Attention on me, people! I'm the handsome one here." Sirius obviously felt a mad urge to explain this. I quite think that he should be sent to a mental hospital for uttering that sentence.

Apparently I wasn't the only one who thought so.

Potter and I have never agreed. On anything. Not one thing. In fact, we're complete opposites. Male, female. Pumpkin pie, apple crumb cake. Filthy rich, dirt poor. Rain, sun. Now I just wanted to make that clear.

Only one thing has ever been stupid and strange enough to make us agree, in all of our 7 years at Hogwarts. And that one thing is that Sirius' comment is one of the stupidest to ever be uttered.

Potter and I looked at Sirius. Then at each other. Then again at Sirius. Then back at each other.

Then we cracked up.

Full blown, howling laughter.

I think that Sirius was quite offended.

I found myself once again looking both ways, up, down, all around the train. I was with Cece and Bella looking for the Marauders.

About 10 minutes after the laughter had subsided, I had proceeded to explain the rules of manhunt, because Sirius was sulking. What a baby.

Now Cece, Bella, and I were making our way down the train searching for the Marauders. Believe me, that is not something I thought that I would ever be doing.

"Maybe they're in the loo." Cece offered.

"Yeah, but don't bother with the guy's loo. They'd be in the girl's loo." Bella said.

"What!" Cece shrieked, laughing.

Before Bella could reply, I responded with this most insightful comment. "I like the loo."

For the second time that train ride I found myself nearly peeing my pants because I was laughing so hard.

And I'd thought that this was going to be the most horribibble train ride in the history in the entire 17 years of my existence.

Becoming serious again (or, as much as was possible) we continued with our diligent searching.

"No, really. I think we should check the girl's loo." Bella said, trying to keep a straight face.

I chuckled. "Wouldn't Sirius make a loverly girl?" Howling laughter echoed with our footsteps all the way down to the girl's loo.

The door made a loud creak as we pushed it open. Our heads popped through. Me on the bottom, Cece next, and Bella on top. We glanced around the incredibly exciting and most gorgeous girl's loo on the Hogwarts Express (there's only one).

"I don't see anyone." Bella said.

"We haven't even looked in the stalls yet!"

"I really hope that they're in here."

"Why?"

"So that they can face death by swirly, of course!"

Well of course we laughed, we were on a sugar high. And we would've laughed even if we weren't.

I stealthily crawled forward, my minions followed me like monkeys follow coconut milk. Yeah, don't ask. My breathing increased as we approached the stalls, which were only two feet from the door. No matter. I waved Cece and Bella over to the second and third stalls. I held up the first three fingers of my right hand and put them down one by one. At the same time, we pushed the stall doors open, screeching war cries.

I screeched again when Potter and Lupin shoved me out of the stall and bounded past me, laughing. Cece followed, chasing after Black. I could only assume that Bella was taking care of Pettigrew.

Catching my breath, I stumbled out of the loo. Potter and Lupin had turned left, and Cece was chasing Black to my left. I dashed after Potter and Lupin, cackling like a moose.

I like mooses. Or meese. Or whatever moose plural is. I had just recently seen Monty Python and the Holy Grail a/n: I love that movie!, and the subtitles say:

A moose once bit my sister. She was carving her initials with an outerspace toothbrush given her by Svenge, her brother in law, who is an Oslo dentist and the star of many movies such Hot Hands of an Oslo Dentist and-

Oh, yeah. Keep running.

Man, they were fast! And-oh jeez, they're splitting. I decided to follow Potter, because he took the way towards the back of the train. Behind me, I heard Bella let out a string of curses (which I had completed only moments before) and chased after Lupin.

I needed to go faster! I mentally prepared myself. Right. Don't trip. If you trip, you'll fall. If you fall, you die.

Argh! I can't help myself. I'll just repeat my useless mantra. Trip, fall, die. Trip, fall, die. Trip, fall, die-

I took a deep breath, closed my eyes (which probably wasn't the best thing to do if I was trying not to trip)-and rand directly into Potter. He yelped, and we both fell down to our lonely, sad, deaths by black-and-blue marks.

Not.

Although we did acquire some incredibly nice bruises.

"Gotcha!" I croaked.

He groaned. I allowed myself one small, obnoxious self-satisfied smirk before I joined in with Potter's moans of pain.

Although I do suppose he was in more pain. I was on top of him. Ew, bad mental image. Bad Lily, bad!

Another 10 minutes later found the seven of us sitting back in our compartment, boredly eating candy. I actually think that is the model oxymoron. You just cannot be bored while eating candy.

I sighed. Potter sighed. Remus sighed. Bella sighed. Cece sigh-

"Stop sighing!" cried Sirius. "You're just making the whole world even more boring than it already is!"

I gave him a nasty look before exclaiming, "Well, if you hadn't attacked the conductor, we would've still be playing manhunt, instead of sitting in here like ducks!"

"Isn't a sitting duck something to do with Presidents?" asked Cece. I turned to her, eyes wide. "I was in America over the summer, and I think they were saying something about sitting ducks. I'm not really sure. It was muggle stuff, and I'm pretty sure it would've been boring even if it were wizarding stuff."

Remus coughed. "Actually, it's lame duck."

"Oh…"

"Anyways," I interrupted, turning my glare back to Sirius, "You still need to explain your actions." I felt like a military commander. I like geese.

"Well…" Sirius began. "Cecilia's mean."

"No she's not!" Bella snapped, immediately becoming protective of our newfound friend. I laid a hand on her arm to calm her down. Gosh, sometimes she attacks people like anteaters attack ants!

"Don't yell at Siripoo." Potter sighed. I snorted. Sirius glared. "He'll get depressed and star drinking."

I snorted again. I'd never had an alcoholic drink in my life. Although my muggle friends did teach me a really cool drinking card game…

"That's it!" I gasped.

"What's it?" asked Cece, obviously confused. Poor girl. She can't even follow my thinking, even if it is in my head…

I rolled my eyes. "We can play arsehole, silly."

I was met with blank stares. I scowled.

"It's only the best card game EVER!"

More stares.

And more scowling.

"Drinking game."

The reaction was immediate. Remus' and Cece's eyes lit up. Bella screeched excitedly, like only Bella can do. Sirius and Potter cheered and started jumping around. I laughed at them. And Pettigre…

Where was Pettigrew?

"Where's Peter?" I asked, looking around.

"Who cares?" Bella asked. The three of us (the girls, that is) started to snicker uncontrollably. The Marauders just rolled their eyes. Apparently, they didn't like the little rat too much either.

"Okay, so how do we play…arsehole, did you call it?" Remus asked.

"Yeah." I responded. "Okay, so I deal out the deck and-why do I have Exploding Snap cards?" I stared at them.

Potter shrugged. It was a noncommittal shrug. I don't even know what that word means! And yet, I knew what that shrug was called. And I hated that shrug. Wanna know why? Because I couldn't do it. Yeah, you heard me. I couldn't do a noncommittal shrug. And sure, I'm ashamed, but-

Wait. Someone's calling me.

"Lily…Lily, come back to the light!"

It was Potter. He grinned goofily at me as everyone else laugher their puny, insignificant heads off.

I simply stared at him.

Greetings, reviewers!

I know that I didn't update for awhile, but I was on vacation in Costa Rica. Muy fun! I've written Chapter 6 also, but I wasn't pleased with Chapter 7 so I'm re-writing it. I'm also not pleased with review. Oh well. I can't have everything.

Please review, and I'll have the next chappie up soon!

-twitch