Story Title: My Life from a Bird's Eye View
Chapter Number: 8
Date Written: 10/20/05
Date Uploaded: 10/20/05
Author: incompetent.twitch
Disclaimer: 'Tis not mine. Nada. Except for Cece. I do own her.
Last time on MLFABEV:
I glanced down at my timetable, and started cackling wildly in anticipation, evil plots and death omens floating around in my head.
1st period-DIVINATION!
"I do so love my Divination, I will not listen to your incrimination, James Potter is frustrating beyond belief, his hair is the color of a leaf, Professor Trelawney's room smells of oranges, the only thing better is…erm…" I scratch my head, unable to think of a rhyme for 'oranges'. "Oh, dash it all." I say in an extremely posh accent. Not overexaggerated at all. "A little help here gu-girls?"
Oho! I caught myself again.
Did I just sound like Professor Slughorn to you? Man, as much as I love potions, I may have to take some time off if I'm going to start imitating my professor…
Whatever.
"Um…maybe you could use…" Bella furrowed her eyebrows and stopped walking so that she could contemplate this.
"Door-hinges!" Cece laughed!
I gasped. Bella gasped. Cece gasped. Well, not really, but I didn't want to make it seem as if we left her out. 'Cause we totally did not.
"You're a genius!" I squeal.
Then I wince.
Lily Evans does not, and I repeat, does not squeal. At all. Never.
Bella gives me this weird little look, but I have to say that Cece's is a whole lot weirder. She scrunches up her nose, purses her lips, crinkles her right eyebrow, and raises her left. All in all, it looks very strange.
Bella and I glance at each other, and then star to crack up. Cece now looks confused. The face she makes now is even funnier then the one before. Still laughing, Bella and I make our way up to Divination, Cece trailing behind us with her schizophrenic faces.
As we arrive in the Divination classroom I inhale the familiar smell of apples. Wait a sec…apples! What happened to the oranges? My eyes start to water, though I'm not sure if it's because of the overpowering stench of that horrendous fruit or because I missed my door-hinges.
Oranges, whatever. You get the point. Tears in the eyes, yada yada.
"Ah, Miss Evans. My most…talented pupil." Professor Trelawney trills at me, sounding rather like a fish out of water. She kinda looks like one too…but she looks considerably more like a bug.
A very ugly bug.
Okay, let me set you straight. I like divination, but not the professor. And I'm not really talented, I'm just really good at making crap up.
"Please take a seat, my pupils."
I skipped across the room to the table farthest away from the window (a tradition that started in my "Vampiric" stage. Don't worry, it ended at the beginning of 6th year.) I had almost made it when-
Whoosh!
"Squee!" I cried as I slammed into the grounded, the wind getting knocked out of me. That's another thing I don't understand.
"Oh, who's laughing now?" Cece cackled. I frowned upside down at her. Wait…she must think I'm smiling! We can't have any of that now, can we? I change the frown to a smile. She gave me a weird look. "Why are you smiling at me?"
Damn. I guess I really suck at reverse psychology, don't I?
Sighing reverently, I push myself off the ground and join Bella at the table, Cece sitting on my other side. With a stroke of brilliance I push her out of her seat, into the same exact position that I had been in just moments before.
"Oh, who's laughing now?" I mimic her earlier words. She stands up and brushes imaginary lint off of her immaculate robes as Bella laughs her head off at the two of us.
"Today you will be testing your inner eye by looking at the contours of each other's hands." Trelawney spoke in what she must've thought was a mystical voice. It actually sounded like she was getting high off of the fumes emanating from around the room.
You see, that's what happens when you replace oranges with apples.
Bella and Cece heaved sighs. They will never understand Divination like I do. Not that I know very much about it of course.
"Okay." Bella says. "I start. Lily, give me you pawn."
"It's palm, you idiot!" Cece laughs. I simply roll my eyes at them as I stick out my hand for Bella to observe.
She peers at it closely, bringing close up to her face, and then twisting my arm around backwards, apparently so she could get a better view.
"Ouch!" I shriek, yanking my hand away from her death grip. "Que est ce?"
"Huh?" Bella and Cece look stumped. I blow a breath of air out.
"Never you mind." I say in an irate tone of voice. "Here Cece, you observe my hand, and then I'll deserve yours."
"But if she starts to stroke it, pull away." Bella stage whispers to Cece. I glare and direct a kick at Bella's leg, and am awarded with a yelp. Bella returns the glare and reaches town to rub her shin, smacking her forehead on the table in the process. I give an unladylike snort as Bella moans and rubs the offending parts of her body. I direct my attention to Cece.
She grabs my hand and looks closely at it. After a few moments she flicks through her Divination Level 7 book. Her nose scrunches in a pre-contemplative look. I hold in my laughter as she turns back to my palm. She's starting to look confused again. I can feel my shoulders shake with laughter as I begin to lose control (a/n: music makes you lose control, music makes you lose control…)
"Well," she begins. I sit up straight and immediately stop laughing.
"I know it." I say forlornly. "I'm gonna get attacked by a hive of bees, aren't I?"
She ignores me, obviously thinking that I'm trying to make a joke. Believe me, I'm not. You know when I'm making a joke because the whole room goes silent and stares at me, wondering why I am not yet in an asylum.
"Okay, well this line here means…you have a strong love life, but all of your relationships are short…I think…erm, okay, and this one here means…a lot of money? Yeah, that sounds good…and this line here means you'll work at the ministry."
"What?" I cry, snatching my hand back yet again and turning it so I can see how she got that. Then I see, in very small letters, 'Work at the Ministry of Magic!' flashing across the long line diving diagonally across my palm. I lift my eyes to glare at Cece, who is turning red in the face from her suppressed laughter.
"Great." Begins Bella. "So, basically, Lily here becomes a prostitute right of school, and a damn good one, according to her 'money' line, who works at the Ministry of Magic."
"I wasn't aware that the ministry hired prostitutes." Came a cool voice from above my head. I tilt my head backwards to see Amos Diggory standing behind me. I feel a quizzical look creeping across my facial features as I continue to stare at him.
Amos flashes me a cocky smile, one that puts Potter's to shame. At least his are used because he thinks he's done something funny and intelligent. Amos's cocky grin is full of himself, all assured and whatnot.
Honestly, he's got to be one of the stupidest people I have ever met.
"So Lily…come with me to the first Hogsmeade weekend? According to what I just heard, you don't turn down many guys."
"Oh, he's in for it." Bella stage whispers again. Only this time I don't kick her. She's completely right, for once. I feel my face flushing and the anger and fury bottles up inside of me, showing through my bright green eyes. I stand up so fast I knock over my overstuffed armchair. In the distance I hear a banging sound. With a quick glance behind Amos, I see James Potter repetitively banging his head against the table, while Sirius and Remus gawk at Amos's stupidity and outright rudeness and cockiness.
"Amos," I begin, my voice clear and soft, though everyone can hear it because their all silent and listening in, even though that's rude as well. "If you ever come closer than 200 feet of me again, I will hex you into the stratosphere. I would rather date James Potter than you."
Oh. My. God. Where did that come from? I clap a hand over my mouth, completely shocked. I glance behind Amos again and see that Potter has joined Sirius and Remus's gawking, although all three of them are now staring at me. And I'm willing to bet anything that the rest of the class is in a similar state. I turn quickly and grab my bag, and proceed to race out of the classroom. I hear Cece and Bella scrambling to gather their things so that they can follow me.
What have I done?
I'm currently rocking back and forth in my room, wondering why everything I do comes back to bite me in the arse.
Cece and Bella suddenly tumble into the room. Bella jumps up. "We found you!" she shouts triumphantly.
"And we did it without the help of a map." Cece deadpans.
My lips twitch upwards. I unfurl myself from the fetal position and flop back against the headboard of the bed. Cece and Bella take positions next to me. Bella combs her fingers through my air in a comforting way and Cece lays my head on her shoulder, letting me know that she supports me.
After a few minutes of comfortable silence, I feel a grin coming on. I sit upright, startling Bella and Cece.
"I've got a brill idea!" Yes, I meant to say 'brill'. I turn around to see them looking expectantly at me. I stared back at them defiantly. Just who did they think they were looking at?
"So?" asks Bella.
"So what?" I ask, puzzled.
"Your 'brill' idea?" Cece nudges me.
"Oh! Yeah. Let's speak in rhymes for the rest of the day!"
They blink at me, then blink at each other. "Erm," Bella begins. "If it will make you happy?"
"It will." I beam at them. I have the perfect rhyme.
"Sirius, Sirius, over there, how does it feel, to be over there?" I sing as I walk over to where the Marauders are sitting at the Gryffindor table. I've deemed it safe because Potter appears to have disappeared.
"Huh?" he asks, looking perplexed.
Cece moans. "She's been doing that for an hour!"
"Where's that rhyme?" I snap at her.
"Sirius, Sirius, she's been doing that for an hour, please make it stop!" Bella cries, tugging at her hair.
"That doesn't rhyme!" I frown.
"Yeah, it does. I said 'Sirius' twice, and 'Sirius' rhymes with 'Sirius'. Therefore, I rhymed." I tilt my head sideways and poke my tongue out of my mouth as I consider this ingenious statement.
"Lily, you look really stu-erm, I mean, pretty, yes very pretty when you do that." A deep male voice came from behind me. I turned, and found myself staring into Potter's azure eyes.
Can an eye color addiction constitute as a drug addiction? I think that it most definitely can.
Hola my readers and reviewers! I hope you are all enjoying the story. Unfortunately, I won't be able to have another chapter out for another two weeks, but I'll be working on it until then. I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please leave comments and criticisms in the form of a review. Gracias!
-twitch
Special Thanks to:
GaryLovesPickles
FanFictionFantom
Blazin Lily
SuperSpy
Your reviews encouraged me to haul my lazy butt up and write some more, and fast. Thanks! Enjoy the new Chappie!