Story Title: My Life from a Bird's Eye View

Chapter Number: 11

Date Written: 11/10/05

Date Uploaded: 11/26/05

Author: incompetent.twitch

Disclaimer: 'Tis not mine. Nada. Except for Cece. I do own her.

Thank you reviewers! I know that you guys didn't really like the last chapter. I'm very sorry (my two crazy best friends helped to write it) and hopefully I'll make up for it with this chapter. Enjoy!

Last time on MLFABEV:

James and I share another glance, and then stumble our way out of the bathroom, the dormitories, the common room, the tunnel, the portrait, the corridors, and into our Head Common Room where we collapse on the furniture surrounding the fireplace.

I'm a bit stunned. Then I glance at James. He's already looking at me.

And, once again, we begin to laugh.

"Lily, what are you waiting for?" asked Cece exasperatedly as she pulled Bella's dripping face out of her cereal. Cece grimaced slightly as Bella let out a light snore.

"Oh, nothing." I sang. I heard a snort next to me and turned to grin at James. He was shoving bacon in his mouth in an effort to keep from laughing.

"I can connect you to Kevin Bacon." I said seriously. Cece and Remus both cast me disgruntled looks. Apparently I act a bit stupid when I've slept a total of three hours.

"Really?" Sirius, James, and Peter all perked up.

I nodded. "You're eating bacon, which is Kevin Bacon's last name."

James and I laughed hard. Apparently he's not a very good insomniac either. Peter looked a bit confoosed. Haha, I said confoosed!

"That wasn't funny." Sirius pouted. Cece rubbed his back comfortingly.

"You'll get over it, Siri."

As she said Sirius nickname, Bella, having awoken moments before and taken a drink, snorted pumpkin juice out of her nose. I was about to yell at her for 'Wasting The Holy Drink' when Snape made his arrival.

James poked me viciously in the side to let me know that he was in. I squealed and poked my tongue out of the side of my mouth, but I didn't take my eyes off of the waddling Snape.

For that is exactly what he is doing. He's waddling! I cackled with glee. "Hahahaha-oomf!"

"Professor Tauria's coming!" Bella hissed in my ear. I swung my head around, confused. Professor Tauria the Astronomy teacher? Why not McGo-

Oh. My. Golly. Goodness. Gee. She's waddling too!

My sharp fingernails went to work as I began to poke James, my eyes wide.

"What?" he asked, annoyed. "Lilee, I was making fun of Sna-" His mouth snapped shut as he gazed wide-eyed at the irate professor painfully making her way towards us. I turned my head to meet his eyes.

A Professor in bed with a Student? Oh, the scandal.

"Mr. Potter, Mr. Black." She addressed James and Sirius. Eh? What about me? Oh no, I'm going to get more punishment! They've done stuff like this before! I haven't, so they're punishing me more!

"Breathe, Lily, breathe!" Bella pounded me on the back as Cece threw a pitcher of water on my face. I glared at her. She shrugged sheepishly.

"You were turning red!" Great explanation, Cecilia!

"Ahem," Professor Tauria interrupted us, a spiteful look in her eyes. She turned her attention back to James and Sirius. "I have reason to believe that you two were out of bed last night."

"Ah, actually Professor, I'm quite sure that Sirius was wreaking havoc in our Dorm Room last night." Remus covered.

She raised her eyebrows. "Is that so?"

"It is so." I think that Tauria missed Remus' sarcasm. No matter, I bet it was lost on a lot of people.

She rounded on just James now. "And what about you, Mr. Potter? Hmm? Wandering the halls early this morning?"

"Erm…" James, where are your lie making skills? How are you supposed to get out of this? You could be suspended! It's your word against a teacher's! You'll never be able to-

"He was with me, Professor." I joined the conversation-or whatever it is that we're having.

"Was he?" Uh-oh, she can see right through me, can't she? "I was under the impression that you two hated each other."

"Well, erm, you see, we were…we were…solving that last night!" I said triumphantly. Well, a bit loudly. Now everyone's looking at us.

Professor Tauria noticed this too. Uncomfortably she glanced around until her gaze settled back on James and I. "Well. 20 points from Gryffindor. I don't completely believe you. Oh, and a detention to night, that seems plausible. Please meet Mr. Filch at the Entrance to the Great Hall tonight."

I gawped at her back. Man, less than 48 hours and I already have a detention!

So…Lily-pill.

Ugh. Not again!

We won't stop bugging you if you tell us what you and Jamsiepoo were doing last night.

We weren't doing anything! Maybe he was with Gena.

Is Lily-pill jealous that someone asked Jamsiepoo out and that he said YES!

NO!

Oh, I think that Lily-pill IS jealous!

Why would I be jealous? I've been friends with him for about a day! Less than a day!

No, no, it was a day from two minutes ago.

…Why are you guys documenting my life anyways?

Oh! You said 'guys' when referring to us! We are most definitely not guys, because we have ovaries.

Well, you shouldn't.

Ex-squeeze me?

I will NOT squeeze you, thanks very much!

Stop getting off topic, Lily-pill! It won't work! Especially since we have the whole conversation written down.

Go away. I am post-pms-ing.

Eh?

"Miss Evans!" comes the shrill voice of Professor McGonnagol. I wince and slam the diary shut.

Innocent smile, Lily, yes that's right. Oh god, now I'm talking to myself…

"Yes Professor!" I exclaim with mucho gusto.

"Are you or are you not passing notes?"

"I am not. I am, however, taking notes."

"Indeed." She says dryly. I beam at her. She rolls her eyes and turns back to the board. Bella and Cece snigger quietly besides me for the rest of the lesson.

"Lily!" James calls at the end of the lesson. Oh, I don't wanna talk now! Grr…

"Hey," he says, catching up to me, all breathless and whatnot.

"Hello." Force a smile, Lily, there we go!

"I forgot to tell you this morning that Dumbledore wants to see us after our last class…I was distracted by Snape." His grin widens, inviting me to share the joke.

Honestly, isn't this boy getting the clue? I've been smiling like I've got someone's foot stuck up my arse for the past five minutes, and he is still talking! He is unbelievable!

His grin fades considerably. "Hey, are you okay? You look like you're in pain or something." Oh, sure, now he gets it.

I just need something to scare him away with…"Yeah, I'm fine. Just having some menstrual cramps."

"Oh, Lily," Enter Gena, Queen of I-will-ruin-your-life-occasionally/Newly made Girlfriend of one James Potter. "Do you need something for your cramps?"

I noticed that we were making James incredibly uncomfortable and decided that I'd tortured him enough for right now. After all, it wasn't as if he did anything wrong.

"No thanks, Gena," My grin is threatening to rip my face in half. "I already took a Tum."

I left both James and Gena with confused and uncomfortable looks.

Dumbledore's eyes twinkled at us (as in James and I) as we sat uncomfortably under his gaze. I think Dumbledore is on drugs or something. There is no way that his eyes can twinkle so much without an added substance.

"How are you both enjoying your last year so far?" he asked us. Jeez, it's like he based his drugs off of a muggle song-'Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star'…

"Miss Evans?"

"WHAT?" I shrieked, jumping out of my chair and swinging my head around. James cracked up while Dumbledore looked on amusedly.

"Have a seat, Miss Evans. Its nothing bad, I assure you." Blushing I did as I was told. "I was just checking with you to make sure that you were fine with working with Mr. Potter on any projects that you two may have this year."

"Uh-huh, yeah, that's o-WHAT!" I jumped up again. This man is a druggie! A loon, I tell you! What is he smoking? Some of those American plants, I bet.

"Head Master, you some Mary Jane, don't you?" Let's see how he reacts to that.

"Is there a student named Mary Jane?" He asked politely, though he was gazing at me as if I were the crazy one!

"Erm…" James adds his intelligent bit.

"No matter." Dumbledore said brightly. "I'm taking your enthusiasm as a 'YES!' to working with Mr. Potter."

"Wha-, but…BUT!" I spluttered.

"Enjoy your school year!"

'Damn Cheerful Geezer', I thought as James got a death grip on my wrist and dragged me out of Dumbledore's office.

As soon as we were out in the hallway James spun me around as shoved me into the wall.

Say what!

I gasped as my shoulder slammed into the very hard stone wall. And just where does he get off pushing me?

"What was wrong with you?" he spat at me.

Eh? Is he talking to me? I did nothing wrong! I am not guiltee!

"I don't know what you're talking about." I said coldly and defensively.

"You got all…pissy when Dumbledore suggested you working with me!"

"I'm…I'm sorry, James." I sighed. "I just forgot that we were friends now, and my feelings about you are all mixed up and-mpf!"

James Potter's lips are on mine! He is kissing me! And-

Wow. His lips are soft. I'm about to respond when he pulls back, eyes wide behind his thin glasses.

He closes them briefly (his eyes, not his glasses) as I gawp unattractively at him.

"I'm sorry." He croaks. "I just needed to get that out before…before I let go."

And now he's turned away from me and is walking down the corridor, leaving my senses haywire from my very first kiss.

Wooooooooooooooooow. I totally didn't expect to end it that way! Hm. I like it though. I hope you guys did. Thanks so much for reviewing, all of you! And now that you've read mine, go read Super Spy's fics and GaryLovesPickles' fics. Any and all fics written by them are awesome. Once again, thanks for reading and reviewing!

-twitch