A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS
C H A P T E R
One
Most of you have probably already read "A Series of Unfortunate Events – The Bad Beginning"; and most of you probably know that after Count Olaf's evil plot to marry Violet Baudelaire, the eldest of the Baudelaire orphans, and by so doing to steal the Baudelaire fortune, Count Olaf escaped those who attempted to apprehend him. Most of you also know that after the villainous Count Olaf escaped and the Baudelaire orphans were sent to live with their Uncle Monty, an acclaimed herpetologist.
This story Begins where "A Series of Unfortunate Events – The Bad Beginning" ends. It asks the question: What if the Baudelaire orphans weren't sent to live with their Uncle Monty, but were sent to live with someone closer to them; someone they already knew…?
Sunlight streamed into the cramped, smelly room through one tiny, eastern window. The two large brass beds which contained the Poe children had been warmed by the early morning rays. The small bunk bed in the corner however, which contained the Baudelaire children was lumpy and cold.
Violet Baudelaire sat up in bed and stretched her arms and legs, aching with a mixture of sorrow and fear. It was an ache that hadn't left her since the death of the Baudelaire parents. Violet still longed to see her parents again as her younger brother, Klaus and her baby sister, Sunny, did. Several minutes later a voice called from the kitchen.
"Violet!" Mr Poe called, "would you come here a minute?" Violet remained silent for a few moments, reflecting on the events of the previous night – a phrase which here means "looking back on Count Olaf's escape after his notorious attempt to marry Violet Baudelaire in front of a large crowd of people and disguise the whole affair as a play" – before curiosity got the better of her and she rose from her bed and walked along the dimly lit hallway to the kitchen of the Poe household.
As she entered the kitchen Violet's nostrils were filled with an overpowering smell of burnt toast and porridge. The kitchen was quite modest in size and rather dull. A few pots and pans hung from a cluster of hooks on the ceiling in the centre of the room above an island bench. Upon the bench a full pot of tea stood by a bread board and large, round silver toaster. The dull grey floral patterned wallpaper cast a gloomy feel over the room, but managed to match the black kitchen table and four chairs quite nicely. On one of the chairs Mr Poe sat at the table with a bowl of porridge, a black slice of toast and a cup of weak tea.
"Good morning, Violet." said Mr Poe before falling into a cacophony – a word meaning "mixture of many different sounds" – of coughing and sneezing.
"Good morning Mr Poe." replied Violet politely, opening the bread cupboard, by the single window to fix herself some toast.
"Violet," said Mr Poe, "I must discuss something with you and your siblings. Please go and fetch Sunny and Klaus. Oh and make sure you are all washed and dressed before you retur-" Mr Poe erupted into a fit of coughs which he concealed with his white handkerchief.
"Yes, Mr Poe." Violet placed the knife and the loaf of bread she had in her hands down on the bench and left the room.
Several minutes later All Baudelaire orphans entered the kitchen of the Poe household, shared curiosity displayed on each of their faces. It is an odd thing, curiosity. It can drive people to do extraordinary things. I am sure you have heard the hackneyed – a word which here means, "Clichéd", "Worn-out" or "Unoriginal" – phrase, "curiosity killed the cat." This may be one of the only naff and rather dull phrases used so often that one would feel like tearing their hair out by the time Lemony Snicket uses it, which may have true philosophy to it.
If one is curious, one will do almost anything to satisfy one's curiosity; even if sure danger awaits them. For example; if you are tucked up in bed and you hear a rattling in the living room you may leave the comfort of your bed and enter the dark living room to satisfy your curiosity, even though you are terrified of the burglar who may be raiding you silver cabinet.
And so it was for the Baudelaire orphans. They did not want to go to the kitchen. They did not even want to leave their beds. Today was a day that screamed, "TODAY IS NOT WORTH GETTING OUT OF BED FOR!" for the Baudelaire orphans as it had been for many days now, but just as it had been for Violet a few minutes ago, curiosity got the better of the Baudelaire orphans and they found themselves in the kitchen of the Poe household, and as I wrote earlier, shared curiosity was displayed on each of their faces.
"Children," said Mr Poe, folding his edition of "The Daily Punctilio" and placing it on the kitchen table, "I have some news for you, regarding your new guardian." Their were a few seconds of silence before Sunny spoke,
"Gibbo!" which may have meant something like, "Not again!" Sunny, like her sister and brother could never forget the time on Briny Beach Mr Poe had told them about their new guardian, Count Olaf, and he had turned out to be a vain, evil, sadistic, greedy monster (the word monster used metaphorically. Olaf wasn't actually a monster, but he was so bad he was like a monster). However what the Baudelaires were about to hear could change the course of their whole lives.
"Your new guardian", said Mr Poe, "Is Justice Strauss." This statement had the Baudelaire children dumbfounded – a word which here means, "Astonished" and "shocked" – so much that they simply stood still in their place by the kitchen door. Violet was the first to speak,
"When do we leave?" She said.
"Can we leave now?" came Klaus's response.
"Looduh?" cried Sunny, which probably meant something like, "I can't wait to leave this cramped, boring and dull house you call home.
"Be polite, Sunny" said Violet reproachfully, straightening the frilly collar on her baby sister's dress.
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