A series of loud knocks drew Ennis del Mar out of an uneasy slumber. Grumbling under his breath, he turned over to see the clock on his wall. It read 1:32 AM. He muttered a string of obscenities and rolled out of bed. He padded to the door, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, swearing in such a way that would have made his older brother proud.
He had half a mind to grab the handgun he kept stashed under his sink. He didn't know anybody who would come to his house in the dead of night, waking him up at such an ungodly hour. Ennis swallowed dryly before he opened the door.
Standing on the steps that led up to his trailer was his eldest daughter Alma Jr., clutching a bottle of tequila and a wedding dress wrapped in plastic. Her hair was plastered to her forehead and her eyes looked puffy from crying.
"Christ, Junior, you nearly scared the piss outta me. What're ya doing here?" Ennis asked, relaxing a little.
She moaned and stumbled into the trailer, using the doorframe for balance. "I'm scared, Daddy."
"Why?" he asked, instantly on guard, "Who's been bothering you? I'll kill 'em. Just give me a moment."
Alma let loose an intoxicated giggle. "No, no, Daddy," she said patronizingly, "No one's been bothering me like that. I just… I'm getting married tomorrow, Daddy."
He blinked. "I know, sweetie. You been calling me every day this week, reminding me. Don't you worry your pretty little head, I won't forget. 'Sides, it's the morning before. I'll be there."
"Daddy, I don't know if I love him."
The silence in the trailer could have drowned out a symphony. Ennis ran a hand through his coarse, curly hair and sighed. "Why you talkin' to me 'bout this, Junior? Ain't this some girl talk or something? Where's your momma?"
Alma sat down on the creaking rock chair. "Momma ain't good about talking about feelings. It's all about Travis when I'm around her. She just concerned about makin' sure he's a right cute little ring-bearer. She ain't got no time to talk to me. She thinks I'm being foolish, worried the night before my wedding."
"Well, I guess, sit down then," Ennis said, grabbing two beers from the small refrigerator. He passed one over to Alma, and put the tequila she was clutching away. "Well… Talk."
She wiped a rogue tear off her cheek and took a deep breath before starting. "I was just lying there tonight, you know, thinking 'bout how life will be with Curt. And, Daddy don't get me wrong, he's a gentleman, he treats me good. But I don't know if I love him, I don't know if I want to spend the rest of my life with him. What if he's not the one? What if we discover we don't like each other? What if I spend my whole life wishing for something else? Daddy, I just want to know that I love him."
Ennis rubbed his forehead uncomfortably. "I don't think I'm the right person to ask, Junior, considering how things were between me and your momma. I don't know if I know all too much about love. I sure as hell ain't no expert."
Alma reached over and grabbed his big hand desperately. "But you musta loved someone 'sides me and Francie, Daddy. Maybe that waitress you was seeing before, or something…"
He almost laughed aloud at the thought of loving the blonde waitress he had been putting the blocks to in a time long past. "Naw, little darlin', I ain't felt nothing more than attraction to her."
"Well Daddy, how am I to know that I just don't feel attraction to Curt?"
"You just know, darlin'."
"But how?"
"It's when they're gone, Junior. It's when… I don't know… It's when you feel like the world can't go on when they left you, you feel like you won't never be happy again. It gets kinda cold and you feel a more powerful sick than you ever felt and you can't think about nothing but wanting to be with them again. It's when you can be happy and sad and contented and more all with this one person and they can make everything else disappear. It's when everyone and everything 'round you reminds you o' them…" Ennis trailed off, images of mountains and jean shirts reflecting in his glassy eyes. "I ain't no poet or nothing with words, Junior."
Alma squeezed his hand. "Daddy, that was beautiful. You was in love, too. I can just tell. How else would you know what it feels like when I'm with Curt?"
"Love," Ennis said, with a defeated sort of air, "Love is a damned bitch sometimes."
"But it's worth it," his daughter replied, standing up and putting her beer down. "Thanks for talkin', Daddy."
He waved a hand at her as she walked towards the door.
"I guess I'll be seeing you in the morning, then, at the wedding."
Ennis nodded. Alma paused in the doorway.
"Just for you to know, Daddy… I'm sure whoever it was that you loved, I'm sure they were a real good person. Real good." She half-smiled and then shut the door, her long dark hair swinging behind her.
Ennis glanced towards his closet, half-opened. The moonlight shone inside, so that if one looked carefully, they could see the faint outline of two shirts, plaid and jean, intertwined. "Yeah, Junior," he said, though Alma was long gone. "Jack Twist was a damned good person. And fuck. He was more'n worth it."