Ok just a few things before you read on, Thankyou again for the reviews it made me excited enough to post for the second time in forty eightr hours. Usually it takes me a week at least to get the next instalment finished. So thanks for that. Secondly don't worry if this chapter is a little of the road, its tying up a very important loose end that I felt needed resolving before Steph moved on.

Let me know what you think, I tried to portray the emotions accurately to the characters but it is much harder than I thought it would be, not sure if I got it right.

Have you ever gone to sleep feeling like nothing in the world was going your way, like a black cloud was hovering over you and no matter how hard you tried to make it into the sun you just weren't going to escape the inevitable down pour.

Well that's how I felt last night.

But!

Amazingly enough I woke up this morning feeling refreshed and hopeful. I don't know if I had any dreams last night or not, but do I remember semi waking up through the night feeling safe and warm

You see last night to I went out to a new night club in town (with Connie and Lula) intending to spy on one of my skips and scope out the scene.

But as usual my plans never go as intended.

I ended up kissing and walking out on Ranger, kissing my skips brother Josh, then Ranger again, then my skips brother again, then witnessing Ranger kiss someone else.

You can see it was quite an emotional night and I ended up crying myself to sleep feeling pretty darn horrible.

But this morning I woke up feeling different, strange almost. I couldn't put my finger on why or how, but I felt an inner calm this morning, I felt stronger, hopeful.

Taking advantage of these new emotions I decided to take a step forward, I was going to go running. I know I never go running unless being bribed by tasty treats or the idea of seeing Ranger in those shorts, but today I felt like running.

So here I am in my running shorts and t shirt ready to face the extensive wheezing and red blotchy skin that this activity was going to cause.

Usually that thought alone would have me changing and heading to the bakery for a donut (okay several donuts).

But not today, today I was ready for the challenge.

I started out slow, trying to concentrate on my breathing. After about 3 miles I felt a horrible stitch in my side and my vision was starting to blur. So I slowed down and walked the rest of the way back to my apartment telling myself that I would do better tomorrow.

By the time I got back to my apartment door I had almost managed to stop wheezing. I went to put the key in my door but noticed the door was already slightly ajar.

Great This usually meant that some sick psychotic person had left me some kind of sick present or a truly profound note, and the day had started so well.

I slowly pushed the door open and crept into the apartment.

Sitting on my couch was a very familiar figure with their head their hands.

'Joe' I whispered hoping it wasn't a crazy look alike.

He jumped at the sound of my voice and looked up in my direction, I felt a wave of relief rush through me, it wasn't a crazy look alike, it was the original.

'Cupcake' he said in a tired voice, he took in my appearance and smiled "since when do you go running?'

'Since this morning' I answered

Joe's smile widened 'Things have changed'

I nodded and moved towards the kitchen to get a drink of water. I hadn't seen Joe since the day I had told him I had wanted time to sort myself out. That had been six weeks ago. It wasn't that i wasn't gals to see him but I couldn't help feeling anxious about why he was here now.

I got a glass of water and moved back to the couch. I sat in the chair opposite and faced my ex.

Joe looked me in the eyes 'how is the shoulder'

'Fine' I was getting good at these one word answers lately

Joe seemed uncomfortable with my answer 'I am sorry I couldn't make it to the hospital Steph, but I was working on an important case and couldn't get away, you know I would have if I could'

He sounded so sad and worried that I believed him and cut him some slack.

'I understand Joe, its ok I am all better now'

Joe seemed surprised 'that's it, it's that simple' he asked

'Yep' I said with a smile

Joe gave a sigh of relief and stood up from his chair and moved to squat in front of me he reached up and placed a gentle hand on my cheek.

'I missed you Cupcake' he whispered softly

Oh Boy! Here it comes!

'I missed you to' I answered truthfully

Joe's eyes took on that look and I knew he was going to kiss me, I panicked and quickly stood up in my chair and jumped over the side but unluckily for me I tripped and landed flat on my butt.

Shit Shit Shit

Joe came over and held his hand out to help me up. On instinct I gave him my hand only to be hauled up so that my body was pressing closely to Morelli's. I looked up at Joe and noticed he was smiling

'Don't tell you have forgotten how to do this' he said and I saw him lean down to kiss me again.

I closed my eyes and gave a deep sigh. I didn't need this right now, actually I didn't want this right now.

'Joe stop' I said quietly without opening my eyes.

Joe must have heard me as the kiss never came but he kept his tight hold on me.

I opened my eyes to find him looking down at me. His cop face was in place but there was a vein pulsating in his neck. He was anything but relaxed.

'What's wrong' he asked softly

'This is wrong' I said without realising what I had said before it came out of my mouth.

Joe released me and took a few steps away turning so that he had his back to me.

'How long' he asked quietly

I sighed again and took a step towards him 'How long for what Joe' I had a pretty good idea what he had meant but I didn't want to be guessing at a time like this.

Joe turned back to face me and I was taken back by the look of sadness that came across his face.

"How long much longer do you need to sort out your feelings?'

I kept eye contact with him 'it's not a matter of time' I watched his face change from sadness to slight shock.

'What are you saying Steph' he asked with what sounded like fear in his voice.

I broke eye contact and felt the familiar guilt surround me.

Damn it.

I had put this guilt behind me I didn't want to feel like that anymore. But I didn't want to hurt Joe either. I was comfortable with Joe and it was true that he knew the best and worst of me and still loved me. But while I was pretty sure I loved him too. All I could see when I looked into the future was two separate paths for us which were only going to get further and further apart. I had to let him go, to find his happiness and it was going to break my heart to do so.

I turned back to the man that had been such an important part of my life and said what I had to say.

'Joe, I Love you' shit did that just come out of my mouth!

Joe's head snapped up and he looked at me in complete surprise and then smiled, but on seeing the expression on my face his smile faded and the fear returned.

'But?' he asked me in a questioning tone

I buried my own shock at the words that had finally escaped my lips and continued

'But I think we are all wrong for each other'

Joe sighed and was about to speak but I needed to get this out and cut him off

'Hear me out please' I pleaded him

He nodded and waited

'While we are good together, sometimes even great, I can't help but feel that we are being pulled in different directions, I know this sounds like a lame excuse but think about it. You hate my job, I hate your job, and the most important part, you want to get married and have kids in the near future. I can't even see past the next twenty four hours let alone the next few years. Marriage and kids aren't really on my agenda at the moment, hell I don't even know if they ever will be'

'But I told you I would wait until you are ready for that, we have discussed this' Joe stated

I felt the tears begin to stir in my eyes, I was so tired of fighting with Joe, I didn't blame him for being upset, hell I was having trouble keeping from taking it all back and deciding to give it another shot. But I knew that this was the right thing to do, so I delved into some of the calmness that I had felt this morning.

'I know we did, but don't you see, you shouldn't have to wait until I am ready, you should be able to have what you want. I can't expect you to wait until you are old and grey to have children, it's not fair to you and to be truthful Joe, it's not fair to me either. The expectation and impatience would soon outweigh any understanding between us'

I took a deep breath and pushed the tears back, after I felt like I had myself under control I looked up to find Joe staring at me with moisture in his eyes.

'You really believe what you are saying don't you' he asked me softly

I nodded and felt my eyes begin to water again

'Are you sure you don't want more time to think about this Steph, I know it's been an emotional month and I know I haven't been there for you but this is serious stuff, you are talking about quits for good, aren't you?'

I nodded again 'I think it's best'

Joe looked at me and searched my face for what felt like forever then seemed to come to a realisation, he took the last few steps between us and cupped my face in his hands and gave me a long tender kiss. I felt my heart creep into my throat and the tears I had been holding back started falling freely.

It felt like a good bye kiss.

After a minute or two, he pulled back an inch and looked me in the eyes 'I am not going to pretend am ok with this, or that I am not hurt, but I do understand what you are trying to do for me, its one of the reasons I love you so much' He gave me one more quick kiss on the lips and whispered "Goodbye Cupcake' and left before I could utter another sound.