Soon To Be World Dominator: Interesting penname. : ) Well, that is exactly what's going to happen…I guess there's no point in giving it away, it's down there. I already had that planned!

Chapter Two – KYLE'S POV

One week later.

Kenny and Cartman's accounts had become available. Both of them had posted stories. I hadn't read them yet because I had been so busy. Both of them had recommended me in their profile page, as I had them, but Cartman's read:

Oh, yeah, check out my friends orangedeath and mr.hanky201, even though mr.hanky201 is a Jew and all, so you probably wouldn't want to read his fics. They suck, anyway.

Where would I be without the support of my friends?

So I read their fics. They were…okay. But Cartman had read mine and was using my ideas. Typical. I decided not to flame him, the guy needed encouragement, but seriously: who would DARE copy another writer's ideas?

Even worse, after I posted my fifth chapter, I received no reviews. Nor had Kenny or Cartman. This was not good. Obviously my fellow fanfictioners had discovered that I made seriously weird friends who didn't respect their writers. Cartman was a huge insulter and copied. Kenny's fics were…well, horrible. Oh, man.

After that, I decided to see just what was in the 'cartoons' section and under 's.' So I went there, and discovered that there was a 'South Park' section!

"Oh, cool dude!" I said aloud. "We're famous!" I clicked on it.

And then…the whole world fell apart.

"OH MY GOD!"

I called the others up on the phone. Stan was first.

"Hey, Stan…do the three of you want to have a sleepover today?"

"Uh…what?" He sounded nervous. Jumpy.

"I said, do you and Kenny and Cartman want to have a sleepover today?"

"Oh. Uh…I dunno. When?"

"I said, today!"

"Ah. Well. I'll, uh…I'll ask." Now Stan sounded positively terrified. What the heck? He came back five seconds later. "Yeah…I…yeah, it's okay. It's fine. Everything's good."

"I'm sure it is," I said. "Right…see you, Stan."

"Bye…"

Well, that was weird, I thought, hanging up the phone. I called Kenny and Cartman and it was okay for them to come as well. I have got to show them the horror of what I have just discovered, I thought. And maybe convinced Kenny and Cartman to stop posting stories…otherwise my popularity on fanfiction is going to plummet eternally.

"Ike!" I cried, shaking my little brother off my leg an hour later as I typed my sixth chapter. "Would you let go of me!"

The doorbell rang. I hobbled down stairs, with my brother attached to my leg, and open the door. Stan, Cartman, and Kenny all stood there.

"Hi guys!" I said cheerily.

Cartman blinked. "Uh…Kyle, dude, why is Ike attached to your leg?"

"He, uh…I dunno. He's gone mad."

"Told you," boasted Cartman.

I led them inside.

"Stan, what the heck, dude?" I said. "Are you expecting an attack or something?"

"Ahh!" he cried, jumping a foot in the air.

"Artinctikeweek," commented Kenny.

"You're right," I said. "He is starting to act like Tweek."

"I…haven't been sleeping well," stammered Stan.

"Anyway," I said as I led them upstairs, "you will never, ever believe what I just saw."

"Oh, man," groaned Cartman.

"It's on fanfiction.It is creepy. Very creepy. You guys are going to hate me for showing this to you, but…"

I sat quickly at the computer before Cartman could take it away and groped for the mouse, visiting I clicked on 'cartoons.'

"Oh no," said Stan. "You're going to do what your dad told you not to do, aren't you?"

"Bingo," I sighed.

I moved the mouse over to the S's, and paused.

"See? Look at this! We're famous!"

"Whoa, dude!" cried Stan. "That is so cool. 'South Park…'"

"Nderesixunedentixories!" exclaimed Kenny.

Translation: "And there's six hundred twenty-six stories!"

"Yeah," I said. "But, man, you are not going to like what you see when you click on it."

"Why?" asked Cartman as I entered the 'South Park' page. "How bad can it – oh my holy freaking god!"

"Oh, man!" groaned Stan. "KyleStan slash? Slash! They're writing about slash in read the story title. 'Of the Obsessed and Abused.'" I shivered. God, me and Stan? What is happening to this freaking world!

"Er, here's a humor one," I said, reading the title and summary out loud. "'Mr. Hanky the Christmas Poo Revisited. Kenny receives an early Christmas Present. Lame summary.'"

We read that one, and it was certainly funny.

"Well, there goes Kenny, again!" laughed Cartman.

"Ayontinkuni."

"Of course you don't think it's funny, Kenny, because you keep dying," said Stan. "'The D completes its fall and crash lands on poor Kenny's head…' Sorry, dude, but that's hilarious."

"What else is there?" asked Cartman. "I hope there's not a me-slash!"

I clicked out of that story and scrolled down.

"Oh, man, there's a Tweek slash," commented Cartman.

"StanCraig, StanKyle," read Stan aloud. "Gees."

"Ennyutters!" cried Kenny.

"Yup, KennyButters slash," I said, grinning. "Poor Kenny."

"Oh my God!" cried Cartman suddenly, and read a summary. "'When Stan discovers Cartman's feelings for Kyle!' Dude, that is sick!"

"Okay, I think I'm going to barf," announced Stan. "Can we look at something else?"

"Okay, have a look at these C2s," I said, clicking on 'C2' and to 'cartoons' and then to 'South Park.'

"Oooh!" said Stan. "South Park nonslash stories. Sweet!"

"Ehccorikorg!" exclaimed Kenny.

"Yup, 'The McCormick Morgue,' Kenny," I said. "You're famous, my friend."

"'We all know Kenny is our favorite,'" Cartman read aloud. "Well, what about me? Aren't I like, the second favorite?"

"Somehow I doubt it," I muttered.

"What the heck is that supposed to mean!" demanded Cartman.

So we visited the forums area after I dodged Cartman's punch.

"More Kenny!" cried Stan. "Dude, you're like, way popular."

"'For all of you who can't get enough of that dying boy,'" I read. "Oh, yeah. Kenny has died a lot, hasn't he?"

"Yeah, I just noticed," added Cartman.

We spent nearly all of our time on the freaking computer, laughing at the fics written about us before we had to go to bed. I woke up in the middle of the night, and got up because I had to pee. Naturally, I gracefully tripped over Stan's sleeping bag but managed to land quietly and not disturb the others.

Or so I thought.

"Oww…" mumbled Stan as soon as I tripped. "Dude, that like, hurt."

"Sorry," I whispered, sitting up. "You're awake? What the heck?"

He shrugged, not meeting my gaze. "Can't sleep. I keep thinking about that one fic about me, where I accidentally shot my sister…"

I laughed. "That was a good one."

"Yeah…well…" Stan did look absolutely tired, but he seemed as though he was fighting to stay awake.

"Stan, why don't you want to go to sleep?" I asked.

He looked nervously at Cartman's sleeping bag, obviously hoping that the guy was asleep.

"Promise me you won't tell anyone, especially Cartman?" whispered Stan.

I was surprised. "Of course, dude, I'm your friend."

"Okay…" He hesitated. Then, "Dude, I've started sleepwalking."

My eyes widened and I fought to keep a straight face. "Er, say what?"

"I sleepwalked on over to my sister's room, dude! And she socked me." He rubbed a sore spot on his cheek. "Ow."

"Oh, man." I swallowed nervously. "How do you cure sleepwalking?"

"I don't know!" he cried. "But I can't go to sleep here, because what if Cartman sees me doing it? Oh, man, oh man, he would tease me until the day I died, and he'd tell everybody."

"I…" I hastily thought up a plan for my friend. "I got some cool handcuffs for Christmas. I can handcuff you to the table."

"Er, really? I really don't think that's a good idea. What if I knock the table over?"

"Don't," I answered, and got up silently to look for the silver pair of handcuffs. "Found 'em!"

We moved Stan's sleeping bag over to the far corner, next to the table. Nervously, Stan crawled inside, and I handcuffed him to the table.

"Er, you have the keys, right?" he asked.

The smile faded from my face.

"Oh, God!" he cried.

I laughed. "Dude, I'm just kidding. I'm sorry, but I couldn't resist."

Stan looked as though he wanted to sock me, but he couldn't because of the position his hands were in.

"Um, what happens when we wake up and Cartman sees me in this position with my hands like this?"

"Here." I grabbed the blanket off my bed and through it over Stan. "I'll tell them you got cold, and in the morning, when we wake up, I'll crawl under there to wake you up, and undo the handcuffs, okay?"

"Okay, dude," he said. "Thanks."

Haha! You guys are good guessers. And Kenny hasn't died yet. Oh, yeah, check out those fics that I mentioned. They really exist. Read them and reivew 'em, okay? Anyway, review my story!