Chapter 2: The new situation

By Koko bandit

"So… let me get this straight… your mother named him Ann-yeong?"

After meeting Alice, the half sister of the Korean boy Lucille had adopted, Michael invited her into his home to discuss the whereabouts of Annyeong. This proved to be difficult considering he had not been seen or heard from in a while, something that hadn't concerned the Bluth family in the least until his kin had come calling a couple of minutes ago.

"Uh yes, actually it's a funny story. He had this funny little habit of saying that word, constantly; in fact, it was one of his first words."

"Well, he was probably saying hello, since Ann-yeong means hi in Korean."

Michael paused.

"Well of course. It was an affectionate gesture, calling him hello, since we loved his company so much. We always wanted to be saying hi to him, thus the name… anyway, I'd love to help you find your brother, it's just…

"So it's true, also, that Lucille adopted him… to make her son jealous? Is that what adopting children for overseas is for now-a-days? Sick pawns in some family feud?"

Michael avoided Alice's pointed gaze, and instead grabbed at any floatation device he could find.

"George Michael! Have you met Alice yet? She's great. She's—you remember Ann-yeong right? Well, she's his sister. Did I mention, she's great!"

Although still slightly depressed over his last conversation with his father, upon seeing Alice, he immediately felt slightly queasy. Stumbling over the last step of the staircase into the family room, George Michael laughed nervously and grasped the dining chair for support.

"George Michael?" Michael was concerned, the last time he'd seen his son look so green was when he'd walked in on Lucille in the shower accidentally.

"Yeah, fine dad. I'm fine. So… this is Alice. Hi, it's real nice to meet you. Uh, excuse me, I have to uh go--. Bye." Knocking over the dining chair in his awkward desperation, George Michael bolted towards his room for the second time that day.

"Wow, that was kind of weird huh? He's not usually like that. Anyways, before you go pressing any charges why don't we talk about ways we can solve this amicably."

"That would be nice. Courts are such a hassle. I just want to find my brother, and your mother was given legal responsibility to care for him."

"Yes, she did… listen, why don't you hang around here for a couple of days. He's somewhere, maybe in the walls, ha-ha, who knows? We'll find him. In the meantime, let's put this notion of lawsuits aside, and use our energies to recover your brother."

"Well," Alice was torn, she felt the right thing to do to redeem her lost brother, was to leave immediately, file a lawsuit for negligence, and call for an extensive investigation into her brother's whereabouts. Yet, at the same time, her classes at UCLA weren't getting any cheaper, and her job at the office of administration wasn't enough to pay for her education as well as her housing. Plus, the Bluth home was conveniently located near her classes as well.

"That sounds like a good plan for the moment, I'll have a chance to poke around for my brother, or at least find any evidence of where he could have gone…" Alice trailed off as Michael began to clap his hands enthusiastically.

"Great! Fan-tastic! You can take Tobias's old room in the meanwhile, and remember… no legal action, that's the deal."

"Alright, but I have another request… I've been working part-time at the school, but it's not paying enough. Could you throw in a part time position at your company in the deal?"

Michael knew of a position that had been open for a long while, yet contemplated the notion of filling it with another woman whom had an agenda against the Bluth Company. He'd learned first hand how dangerous a woman with information regarding the company was to the family and corporation. Yet… it would be nice to finally have someone else take his calls for a change, file his reports, type his letters, send out addendums…

"You're hired."

"Great! As--."

"As the Bluth Company's very own secretary, you can start as soon as you're ready and moved in. How's that sound?" Michael felt extremely proud of himself. He'd managed to bypass a potentially complicated legal situation while also securing another secretary for himself in the process, and an attractive one at that. It seemed his luck was finally turning around a bit.

"You realize, of course, I have absolutely no experience in secretarial work…"

"Of course…" Then again, maybe it wasn't…

xxxxxxxxxx

The next morning Michael gathered the family in the kitchen for a meeting. He wanted to discuss their new tenant who was arriving in an hour with her belongings. Worried he'd been a bit premature on the plea bargain, he decided to get the family's input on his decision as well as set down family rules.

"God Michael, you're giving her Tobias's old room? Who gave you authority to do that? He is coming back, you know, eventually!"

"Uh huh, Lindsey, maybe when that happens you two can actually sleep in the same room or dare I say it, the same bed for once. Now, I would like to add that she is not living here without paying her dues. First off, she is going to working as my new secretary at the Bluth--…" Michael was cut off as the entire family groaned in response.

"We know how well that story ends…" Gob was referring to how every single Bluth secretary-to-date had leaked information regarding their family and further incriminated their father in his crimes. That is, with the exception of Tobias, whom was never really the secretary in the first place anyway.

"Hey, no, this time things will be different. You know, she's not some crazy psychopath dad hired, or some hypochondriac model hired by Gob, alright? This time, I hired her after an extensive background search…" This was untrue. The only thing Michael knew of Alice was what she had told him during this conversation. He had attempted to google her, but realized he did not even know her last name.

"…which should have been done a long time ago." Michael finished, pausing for dramatic effect.

"Well, I think it's great. She's great. I can tell she's a good person. Y'know, from her eyes, they're very expressive."

"From her expressive eyes, huh… George Michael, you were checking her out weren't you? She was foxy, I don't blame you, but I have dibs on her first… and seeing she's going to be staying in this house, it's only a matter of time."

"I'm going to have to stop you right there, Gob. Alice is out of bounds as of the moment she moves into our home. Now, you know how messy relationships between you and Bluth employees have gotten, plus she's a nice girl. I don't need you further complicating an already complex situation. So, are we clear?"

Gob was torn, by placing her off-limits, Michael had inadvertently made Alice more desirable.

"Of course. You have my word, as a man, a man who transcends the laws of nature and science!" Gob said, knowing full well he'd try to pick up Alice as soon as he'd have the opportunity.

"Great! I think she's here—I hear the staircar pulling into the driveway." Michael had asked Buster to pick her up with her belongings from her dorm and bring her over.

Outside, Buster fumbled with the luggage accidentally ripping through the leather handle with his hook.

"Ooh. I'm sorry…" He moaned plaintively.

"It's alright," Alice quickly rushed forward to grab the rest of her two suitcases, and made towards the front door. Michael came out to meet her on the porch, and the rest of the Bluth family peered out from the windows.

"Hey, wow, we went a little overboard with the packing, didn't we?" Michael stared down at her three suitcases, "this is all you have? Did you leave some stuff behind, or…"

"No. this is it."

"Well it's nice for a change."

"Is that supposed to be a jab at me, Michael? I went to therapy for my shopping addiction!" Lindsey snapped.

"Nice shoes. Are they new?"

"I'm glad somebody noticed! I bought them to match this new purse…ooh, Michael you're good. You're good…" She stormed off.

"I'm sure Alice must be tired from her long journey. I'll show her to her room. George Michael, why don't you take her things and bring them up to Tobias's old room." "Sure thing dad." Voice cracking, George Michael attempting to appear manly tried to carry all three at once. Unfortunately, two of the three toppled over, breaking open and tossing clothes in every direction.

"I meant, one at a time, but I appreciate your enthusiasm. Gob, why don't you—"

"No!" Alice warily stood in front of her luggage shielding it from any further damage, "Really, you are too kind, but I think I can manage. I just need some—tape."

"Alright then… you know what? I'll show you to your new room, and you can just leave your belongings out here for the time being. We don't really have too many neighbors at the moment," Michael paused as tumbleweed swept by, "so your things should be fine."

"Great."

After settling into her room, George Michael personally patched up her remaining clothes and sent them up before dinner. Alice, feeling slightly stiff from the ride crammed with hop-ons, stretched before heading down for her first dinner with the "family." It was her first dinner with any family at all, and it was a big moment for her.

Unknown to Alice, this was one of the Bluth's first dinners as a family as well.

"Do we have to actually eat this?" Maeby glared down at the meal prepared by Lindsay and Gob. It was a poorly concocted dinner scrounged from anything in the kitchen, most of which had expired, since both were too lazy to go grocery shopping.

"How dare you? I put my blood and sweat into this meal!"

"Alright, sorry Uncle Gob…it looks great, I guess…" Gob intervened as Maeby maneuvered the spoon towards her mouth.

"No—I cut my hand as I was cutting the carrots… my blood is really mixed in."

"Oh—God. So that's what this iron taste is…" Dropping the spoon, Michael finally conceded. "Alright, take out it is. I'm sorry Alice, your first day here and it's already such a disaster."

"I'm sorry actually. I've been an imposition around here, taking someone else's room and job…"

Michael sighed in exasperation as the rest of the family shared looks of agreement.

"No, you are not an imposition—Well, I suppose the situation is awkward, but we can work things out. Our family has been through a lot stranger, you'd be surprised…" A random image of a blue Tobias popped into his head as Michael moved to clean the table.

Although he himself felt a bit imposed by this new situation, he wasn't about to admit any mistake on his part. As usual, it was his mother that had stirred trouble in the first place, and he was merely trying to smooth things out as he'd done all his life. Michael decided the week would have to work as a trial run, and that with luck, a few days of living with the Bluth family would be enough to run off any sane person.