Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or anything associated with it.
A/N Okay I haven't updated this story in forever so I'm sorry if I've like.. totally gone weird with this story. I decided to attempt it but if it doesn't sound to good then... I'll just leave it that way or someone else can have a go at writing it if they so wish. Thank You to all those who reviewed the last two chapter. Also sorry if the chapters font is screwed up.. this computer doesn't like me.
Look in my eyes and believe me,
Please believe my slyly fabricated lies
Smile at me as you trust me,
Unwittingly putting a high price on your heart break
I'm trying to believe my lies too,
I form them in my mind and block out what is really there
I make sure I forget what really happened,
So with great ease I can tell my false deceits
So maybe if we both believe them tenderly,
It'll make the untruths come to truth
And maybe it'll make it better
Maybe it'll make it real
Maybe, just maybe.
Chris sat in Harry's lap at the ministry's annual New Years party, ignoring a few of the older gentlemen's disapproving glare. Harry had dealt with this before, but most of the ministry was composed of younger wizards and witches, so it didn't always come up.
Harry kissed Chris' shoulder contently, smiling at the man's darker tan from their trip to Jamaica a week earlier for Christmas. Chris had loved it there, and Harry had enjoyed being able to relax and forget about everything that had happened in the last few months.
Being back in England brought back memories, though. In the hot summer like days spent by the beach last week he'd been able to forget everything, nothing but sight seeing and walking around like the tourist he was filled his mind.
But now he was faced with the problems he thought he'd left behind him like how he was increasingly forcing himself to actually kiss Chris, and how whenever Chris tried to get him interested in sex he didn't want it. He could feel how much he didn't want it; he wanted to be near Chris but not with this level of intimacy that his relationship was currently asking of him.
He wasn't over Draco, he'd dreamt about the twat twice over his Christmas holiday to drive that fact home into his brain. He'd realized right then and there that he needed to break it off with Chris.
But every time he was about to try and approach the subject Chris seemed to understand just exactly what was going on in Harry's head and he'd grab Harry, kiss the daylights out of him, and tell him how much he loved him.
And it was those exact moments that kept his stalling from telling Chris the truth; the thought of 'maybe this can work' kept him from telling Chris the painful truth.
"Harry, later tonight lets go somewhere to celebrate the New Year instead of here." Chris said, getting up off of Harry's lap and leaving to grab something to drink, Harry suspected.
He didn't even say what he thought on the matter, Chris knew Harry would say yes, and Harry knew he would say yes. What point was there in talking when you already knew what was going to be said?
The party was crowded where Chris had taken him, and it was simply stifling to Harry. Chris kept running off to meet random friends in random places and coming back to cling to Harry throughout the whole party.
Harry tolerated it up until the last minute stroke twelve. Then he told Chris he needed some fresh air, but he was too busy chatting up some other friend Harry did not know to notice that Harry had left.
Walking through the sea of bodies, each with plastered, happy, drunken faces, Harry spotted the doorway out of the bright-multicoloured room with flashing strobe lights. He got out and sat down on the concrete steps beside another person who was sitting beside an empty beer bottle.
The man turned towards him, and Harry looked back at the man. He smiled to show a rather attractive grin, to which Harry responded accordingly. "Happy New Years, mate." he told him, giving him a hug so Harry could smell the alcohol reeking off of him.
Harry let the man hug him, despite the stench. "Happy New Years." Harry told him back, letting the drunk slide down and fall onto the stone steps in a light sleep. Harry just watched him lay there, wondering if Chris would even care if Harry just up and left.
This wasn't how Harry wanted to spend New Years, with some drunk laying at his feet and his so called boyfriend flirting with everyone in his intoxicated state. No, Harry wanted to be back in his old apartment with Draco, getting drunk with someone who mattered to him.
But here he was still with some meaningless person at his feet and an equally meaningless person in his bed.
Draco hadn't expected to see Harry with his boyfriend at the party, no he'd thought he would get smashed, laid, and wake up in the morning feeling sick like he'd done on Christmas Eve.
But there Harry was, sitting on the steps being hugged by some random man. He didn't look to pleased about it, but let the man hug him anyways and then fall to the ground in front of him on the steps.
Draco wanted to go up to Harry at least once before he let Harry out of his life for good. He looked at the boy he'd been chatting up, and eyed him with a departing stare. "I'm sorry but I must meet my friend over there." he told the boy, nodding his head in Harry's direction.
The boy looked disappointed, but Draco knew he'd find another taker for the night. So Draco left the boy there on the blue couch and made his way over to Harry, taking up a lot more courage then he ever thought he had in him.
Harry felt a tap on his shoulder and when he looked up at Draco, his voice almost caught in his throat. The one person who'd been on his mind was standing there and looking good as ever.
Harry was not about to take the asshole back, how could he even consider it after what Draco did to him? "Hello, Harry." Draco said calmly, offering a small smile in greeting.
Harry didn't know how to react, Draco seemed over him. Well he should have known that would have been the way it would happen, Draco having cheated on him in the first place.
"Hello, Draco." Harry responded just as calmly. He had no clue what to say and it pained him to be so close to Draco Malfoy but the man showed no sign of leaving as he sat down on the concrete steps beside him.
"Happy New Years." Draco told Harry, not saying a thing about their break up that had taken place two months ago. It was a touchy subject that could not be approached by either of them.
"Happy New Years." Harry responded yet again in that distant tone and looked down at the drunk at his feet.
"Someone special?" Draco asked, indicating that he meant the drunk by pointing at him. All that came out of the drunk was a snore and a small mummer that could hardly be deciphered for English.
"No." Harry responded, not daring to look Draco in the eye.
"Oh." Draco said, stealing a glance at Harry in his suit. His black hair had not been tamed and his glasses had new frames, but that Draco didn't mind. The only thing that bothered him was the fact Harry would not look his way.
Draco looked out into the cold night sky, his breath condensing into mist as it left his lungs. The silence stretched on into the cold night air, loud music and voices being screamed from the inside of the house.
"So, why are you here?" Draco asked Harry, wanting to break the silence. Harry looked back to the doorway, which was closed now, the light form the party streaming through the windows of the front door and onto the concrete steps.
"Chris insisted we go here." Harry replied grudgingly, not wanting to talk any more about Chris then he had to.
"I guess I'll go then." Draco said, getting up off of the cold concrete, leaving Harry sitting down on his own with the unconscious man at his feet. Draco was about to go back into the heated party when Harry finally spoke, looking up at Draco with his big green eyes.
"You don't have to go…" Harry said lowly, as if a bit in a sulky mood.
"Harry, listen-" Draco was about to say but Harry put a finger to his cold lips and got up, the suit he was in shifting from the movement. Harry was shivering and Draco just let Harry approach him until he felt the ghost of a kiss flutter across his lips.
"I don't want to hear it Draco. I loved you and this is all I have to show for it." Harry told him, moving away from Draco towards the closed door, from the dark night towards the warm confinement of the house.
Draco stopped the man from getting anywhere near the door, pushing him up tight on the door and kissing him roughly. Oh yes, how he loved the feel of being near Harry again, it was almost as if he hadn't been without Harry for two months.
And Harry responded to the kiss so quickly, wrapping his arms around Draco while he was pushed up snugly against a cold wall, the only warmth he was getting was from Draco's body.
But Harry soon pushed Draco away from him, looking away from the blond and opening the door to the house and letting the silence be drowned out by the sea of happy mummers and chatter from the party.
"You know, Harry, you can always meet me at the coffee shop we always went to." Draco called after the man, not sure if he'd been heard or not because the black mop of hair was being consumed by the happy giddy people of New Years Eve.
Draco smiled, knowing if Harry really considered it, he'd have the one he'd wanted all along back again. No screw-ups this time. Draco walked away from the party towards the cold street covered in slush, his shoes getting drenched as he went.
Draco looked once more at the party that was getting louder, it seemed, now that it was past midnight. He smiled at the illuminated door from the lights within before apparating away into thin air.
Harry returned to Chris' side obediently, his lips no longer defying his actions with Draco. Chris smiled up at him with a happy smile, but Harry could barely return it as his mind was elsewhere.
Chris was sitting down on a couch with a few of his friends, and Harry sat down beside them gingerly, his body warming up form the chill outside. "Harry, where'd you run off to?" Chris asked, obviously ignoring the fact that Harry was being so distant.
Harry shrugged and looked around the party again, Chris trying to wrap his arms around Harry, only to be pushed away by Harry's ice-cold hands. "I was outside, Chris." Harry replied, saying 'Chris' as if it was an after thought.
Chris showed a hint of hurt but he ignored it, and tried to engage Harry in the conversation he and his friends were having, even when Harry clearly wanted to go and think about things alone.
Everyone politely ignored Harry, and Chris finally was forced to give up on making Harry feel friendlier towards everyone. Harry was just fine with that, though, he had an offer to think over.
Harry sat and drank a beer on the couch with Chris' friends, smiling when he needed to, and keeping very silent while he got lost in his own thoughts for the rest of the heated party.