Those sunny days

xxx

"Now you jus' skip under them blankets and I'll give ya a quick rub off." Hoss steered a night-shirted Jamie into his room, trying not to loose the boy's clothes on the way. The dark head was still dripping from the bath Jamie had taken earlier and Hoss shooed him into bed before he dropped the garments onto a chair and started to sort them out.

"You wanted to tell me about the river, Uncle Hoss," Jamie insisted as he pulled the blanket around him. The wet strands were in his eyes and he pushed them away impatiently. "And about you and my Pa."

"Yep, that I did." Hoss' hand missed the next piece of clothing and he bent down to fetch it. When he turned around, his face showed nothing except friendly expectation.

"So, young 'un, which story you wanna hear?"

Jamie screwed up his face, excited as always at the prospect of hearing a story, then remembered the argument that had taken place when he came home and looked at Hoss, his hands unconsciously clutching the blanket.

"Tell me why Grandpa was so angry today when I told him I had been swimming."

"Oh lad," Hoss chuckled softly and sat down on the bed, passing Jamie a towel to rub his hair, "that's a very long story."

"You promised, Uncle Hoss." The boy's face was earnest, his features clearly indicating that he would take Hoss at his word.

Seeing there was no way out, Hoss settled himself against the footboard and grinned at his nephew.

"I shore did. Well then," he sat back and thought for a moment, "did ya see the big flat rock lookin' like a flapjack?" When he saw Jamie nod in response, he continued.

"Ya see, we had a good time at that place ...laughin', playin' …jus' havin' fun skippin' rocks right there…and your Pa showed me a lot of things that day." Hoss' face glowed as he remembered, and he closed his eyes as the warmth of that day flowed over him.

"It was a hard time, then. Yer Grandpa was almost never at home, always workin', tryin' ta make a livin' and get us over the winter; and when he did get home afore dark, he more often than not fell asleep right after dinner. Mornin's was the only time when we did see him, and then he mostly told us not ta be late for school." Hoss opened his eyes when he heard a faint snort and grinned broadly.

"Not changed that much, eh?" He laughed when he saw the rueful smile on his nephew's face, then frowned when he noticed that Jamie, raptly listening, held the towel still in his hands instead of rubbing his hair dry.

"Has Grandpa always been that strict?"

"Oh, he sure was." Hoss got up and tugged the blanket in around Jamie. "But you know that Grandpa is only strict when he has to be, don't ya, Jamie? He's always fair, too."

"Except when he's mad." Shoulders slumped dejectedly, the dark head bowed down as Jamie sighed, clearly remembering what had happened earlier that evening. Hoss put his hand under the boy's chin to make him look at him.

"He's only doin' what he thinks best fer ya." When Jamie didn't answer, Hoss took a deep breath.

"Grandpa loves ya, Jamie. And he loved your Pa somethin' fierce. He doesn't wanna let 'im down, and if somethin' happened to ya … " he stopped when he noticed the trembling in the line of shoulder blades that spoke of Jamie's distress.

"I know. But why was he angry when I told him I had been swimming? Did he forbid my Pa, too?" Brows drawn together, Jamie stared at Hoss, amber eyes flashing. At the sight, Hoss ignored the familiar ache in his heart and smiled.

"He did…for a time." Hoss laughed out loud when he saw the boy's confusion. Grabbing the towel, he began to deftly rub the unruly hair, but one bewildered look from under dark long lashes made him resume the story.

"As I said, times were hard for us, then. Yer Grandpa worked hard, and he s'pected us …,'en your Pa 'specially, to help. I was jus' a little feller then, but sometimes I heard people talkin' in town, saying how thin and worn out your Pa looked. I didn't notice it m'self, a' course, but when I heard them, I decided to cheer him up, an' I persuaded him to go swimmin' that very afternoon, right after school." He finished rubbing Jamie's hair dry and sat down beside him on the bed.

"See, we weren't supposed to go wandering off on our own, what with the dangers around us jus' waitin' to get us. Had to come home straight from school, then do our chores and homework. Your Pa'd help me with mine, and by then it would be almost too late to go anywhere."

"But…" The troubled frown on Jamie's face didn't go unnoticed.

"…and apart from that, we had to tell Grandpa before we went anywhere. He trusted us to do as he said, and it was the only way fer all of us – but of course we couldn't tell him what we wanted to do because he weren't there. Your Pa didn't wanna to go at first, knowin' we were breakin' our word to Grandpa … but it was a hot day an' I insisted we should go because I wanted to see him relax an' finally he agreed.

"So, we went to the river and we had a great time. The sun was high above, letting the water sprinkle and glitter like diamonds as it flowed over the rocks, and we were in the water and felt the current pull at our feet and legs. We had to stay near the bank where the current weren't that strong, but it was excitin' nonetheless …," Hoss took a deep breath as he remembered. He had long since stopped seeing the walls of the room, but instead conjured up the beauty and magic of that day.

"Your Pa was happy then, splashing me with water, teaching me how to skip rocks and ..."

"That's why you're so good?" Jamie interrupted excitedly. "My Pa taught you?" His face gleamed with pride.

Hoss winked. "Yeah, but don't tell Uncle Joe. He still thinks he's the best." He grinned when Jamie solemnly shook his head, then pulled the boy to his side.

"He built a water mill for me, and we lay on the rock an' watched the fish search for food. I think maybe he was happier than he had been in a long time, because I still remember how surprised I was when he laughed out loud … I hadn't heard him laugh in a very long time …

"And then … then we must have forgotten the time, because when I turned around to get more stones for skippin', I saw Grandpa watching us from the bank."

"Oh," Jamie frowned, and Hoss could see the thoughts flashing in his mind. "What did he do?"

"Nothing." Hoss smiled at the memory. "Just watched us. I know he did because he smiled at me an' I knew he weren't mad. But then I gave your Pa a nudge and told him that Grandpa was there and he froze right solid where he was. Must have remembered that he didn't do his chores like he was supposed ta do, because for the longest time he jus' stared at Grandpa as though he was a ghost or somethin'…"

Hoss broke off. Too clearly he saw his brother's shocked face, remembered too clearly his own confusion and the feeling of helplessness that had swept over him. The soft tug on his shirt brought him back to reality and he blinked.

"What happened?" Jamie's golden eyes were dark with apprehension.

"He slipped on the rock." Ben spoke from the doorway.

Hoss felt Jamie start in his arms, but he just watched quietly when his grandfather came into the room and sat down on the bed. Wearily Ben smiled at Jamie, but the smile never reached his eyes.

"When I couldn't find your Pa and uncle at home, I went looking for them. By the time I reached the river, I was afraid something had happened to them, thought they had drowned …" Ben drew a shuddering breath, and Hoss winced, knowing how much that day had cost his father.

"Then I saw them … and they were playing. And I just stood and watched them, convinced I had never seen the two of them so happy."

Ben glanced up, giving Hoss a lopsided grin, but his son could still see the fear lurking in the depths of his eyes as he continued to recount what had happened that afternoon.

"Then your Pa noticed I was there. First he just looked at me …and then he took a step backwards, lost his balance and fell into the river."

Jamie let out a sigh almost too soft to hear, but Hoss caught it. So did Ben. He trained his dark eyes on the troubled amber ones in front of him.

"When he fell, he hit his head against a rock just beneath the surface, and banged his arm and back." Ben paused for a second, staring at his hands in his lap, but Hoss knew that in his mind he saw a time long ago, a river with water like diamonds, and two small boys, enjoying life.

"Watching them playing, so carefree and unconcerned, gave me the greatest joy. But when I saw him fall it was one of the most terrible moments of my life."

Ben swallowed and cast down his eyes, remembering the horrible scene that had nearly cost him his son. When Jamie launched himself into his arms, he almost drew back in surprise before he tightened his hold around the small body.

Jamie buried his face in his grandfather's shirt. "I didn't know, Grandpa." He lifted his head and looked at Ben, his eyes shining with remorse. "I'm sorry."

"Oh lad…," Ben was at a loss for words. "It's okay. You couldn't have known."

For another moment he held on tight, then brushed the damp curls with his hand. "Do you think it was just by chance?"

When he felt Jamie nod against him, he went on.

"Neither of us did what we should have done that day. Your Pa didn't do his chores, and he didn't tell me where he went. Your Uncle," Ben looked up and saw Hoss blushing, "persuaded your Pa to go swimming. And if I hadn't startled him, perhaps he wouldn't have slipped."

Jamie freed himself and looked up at Ben, his gaze grave and serious. "You saved him, Grandpa."

Again Ben met Hoss' eyes and felt his mouth twitch when he saw his son shake his head.

"That I did. I think I never moved that fast again in my whole life."

He turned back to Jamie.

"I want you to always tell either your uncles or me where you're going. Do you understand that?" He smiled when the dark head nodded empathically, making the strands dance.

"I will, Grandpa."

"Good boy." Ben gave Jamie another hug, then gently set him down onto the bed.

"Time for you to get some sleep."

"But …"

Ben grinned despite himself.

"No buts, Jamie. It's already late and …," he glanced at Hoss who just made to get up and smiled, "your uncle still has to tell you a bedtime story."

Ignoring the look Hoss sent him, Ben tenderly tugged his grandson in and bade him good night before he made his way over to the door.

"Grandpa?" Jamie's sleepy voice held him back.

"Hm?"

"It wasn't your fault."

For a second, Ben stared at the dark golden eyes, not knowing what to say. Helplessly he looked at Hoss for guidance, but his son just shrugged, obviously as shaken as he felt himself. Softly he cleared his throat.

"No, I suppose not."

Gently he smiled at his grandson.

"You say hello to your father in your dreams, lad."

But Jamie was already asleep.

xxx

the end